Twisted idea but I wanna put it out there

treble21 Regarding the song...Neither does it label the man the abuser either, but everyone is declaring him the abuser in this thread. Song doesn't need to label him an abuser because it's clear that he's an abuser, but it doesn't make her the victim. She's an abuser too. In an abusive relationship it's always going to go bad. Most often there is an innocent (non-abuser) in the relationship, but in this song neither is an innocent & while he takes it to the next notch, and we know it because the song is from his point of view, we don't know her point-of-view which might be "If you raise your hand at me again I'm going to light this joint up" ala The Burning Bed.

After review of the lyrics I'll concede that it is an anti-abuse song, but not only because it shows women that an abuser is a liar. It's an anti-abuse song in that it shows that anger and violence escalates no matter the perpetrator. The lies are also the same no matter the gender saying them. The majority of Eminem's audience is men, and his message speaks to them two fold...don't be a perpetrator, and maybe a man can be a victim too. Women as abusers are often discounted / overlooked, and this song shows a female abuser & that neither one of them is right. Perhaps male victims of abuse will hear this & stand up for themselves by getting out of the relationship just as we hope for women who hear the song.

Perhaps I have a different viewpoint because I am a survivor of a female abuser. I wasn't in a sexual relationship with her ever. She is a family member by blood. Only time, space, and counseling made it possible to feel comfortable & of my own strength in her presence. She is family so I cannot eliminate her from my life completely, but now if she raises her voice even an octave I separate myself from the situation. I also see that she's not the same person she was 20 years ago, but I will never take down my defensive wall completely in her presence.

Regarding Bones...I could still get behind this twisted idea if it is a case B/B are working on as I laid out in my last post. Perhaps the B/B moment could be that one or both of them share more about the abuse they survived. Maybe it will be the time for Bones to reveal to Booth what Hank revealed to her about Booth's father. Then maybe she could hold him as she promised Hank. Not a bad s/l idea - public service type episode with a domestic violence case, and progression of the B/B relationship. May not be such a twisted idea.

I totally agree that lies are the same from abusers regardless of gender, if you look at my previous posts I have already gone over the fact that there is defintely abusers that are either gender, I've experienced both in my life . That is not in dispute at all, but is also not really the case in this song either. Looking at the lyrics completely separate from the video, the "woman" is portrayed as having a temper and actively participating in the fights, but she's also portrayed as wanting it to end. The man clearly doesn't want it to end, because in his mind he's already planning ways to stop her if she leaves him again, That's what makes him the "abuser" in this situation

treble21 I've enjoyed our exchange. I think it's nice when two adults can have an amicable, respectful discussion where their viewpoints differ. That isn't always the case on some message boards.

I think we're going to have to agree to disagree on our view of the characters within Eminem's story (and I think all of his songs are just stories with music in the background). In my view once an abuser always an abuser, and even if the woman - who has been an abuser- intimates that she wants the violence to end there is a point of no return because as we have already agreed abusers are liars so how is he - or we - to know that in her protests she's not lying.

From what you've shared I know you are aware of the fear that a person suffering abuse has of when the next assault will come, when the shoe will drop. In this story both are abusers & the abused so they have the rage of the abuser & the fear of the abused at the same time...which will only equal nasty violence leading to mutual destruction at some point. Mutual destruction is especially assured because the normal dynamic of having an abuser who wants to beat down the person they're abusing & a person who is being abused who only seeks escape from the abuse is bastardized because instead you have two people who's basic attitude is to beat the other person down coming at each other repeatedly without end. Again she may intimate that she wants the violence to end, but by her history she would likely give as good as she gets should he come at her.

Entirely off topic, but something I've been meaning to touch on with you...I FLOVE your tagline!!!! Just to be clear...I continue to appreciate HH's brilliance, I think Season 6 is going to cumulatively make me VERY happy, and should it progress as outlined by SN & HH elsewhere I cannot fathom how it could not continue at least through Season 7 (but personally would love to see Seasons 8-9-10 ). Now please join me in a very irreverent, entirely irresponsible happy dance!

We can definitely agree to disagree on this because really it just comes down to perception.
Now moving on... Thank you, and yes I will join you in celebratory happy dance I'll even break out my Happy Balls LOL

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I FLOVE YOUR HAPPY BALLS!!!! They do indeed make me feel very happy!!! See you around the board!