I Hart Booth Fan Club

jonezn4Bones wrote:

Polygirl wrote:between that and my mother having a mental breakdown and becoming bipolar off her meds I don't trust anyone or anything I don't depend on things because they always go wrong or people let you down thats why I hate holidays all the buildup is useless things always go wrong and people always freak out plus I always end up either sick or ingured for holidays

I'm not suggesting psychosomatic conditions for you but it certainly appears there are emotional issues that exacerbate your illnesses.

my doc calls it trust issues and anxitey and she thinks the only way to start fixing things would be to do family therpy but that will never happen they wouldn't take that much time to go with me everyweek and we don't even know where my mother is and its better that way

thanks willi and bye

Polygirl wrote:between that and my mother having a mental breakdown and becoming bipolar off her meds I don't trust anyone or anything I don't depend on things because they always go wrong or people let you down thats why I hate holidays all the buildup is useless things always go wrong and people always freak out plus I always end up either sick or ingured for holidays

and that's why I do things myself and don't let anyone really know me. That's really sad Poly, but I know exactly what you mean. My mom had herself hospitalized because of depression, she was suicidal and had the sense to know that if she hadn't... well I don't like thinking about it. But before that it got pretty ugly, so I understand that.

phoebsfan wrote:

Polygirl wrote:between that and my mother having a mental breakdown and becoming bipolar off her meds I don't trust anyone or anything I don't depend on things because they always go wrong or people let you down thats why I hate holidays all the buildup is useless things always go wrong and people always freak out plus I always end up either sick or ingured for holidays

and that's why I do things myself and don't let anyone really know me. That's really sad Poly, but I know exactly what you mean. My mom had herself hospitalized because of depression, she was suicidal and had the sense to know that if she hadn't... well I don't like thinking about it. But before that it got pretty ugly, so I understand that.

exactly parents can really mess us up stress in homes is not good for the kids we know something is up but we can't do anything about it

Polygirl wrote:
my sister and I are so close in age everyone thinks we should be best friends but we are too diffrent so one of us is always suffering if we hang out together so we stay apart we have found that when we are apart we are better at talking and dealing with each other if we wern't sisters we would never talk or do anything together

I think the important thing is that you both feel that way. My little sister always wondered why I was so distant and has told me since that she grew up feeling like a replacement.

So what if anything can jonezy do for his girls? How can I distract you in positive ways?

the thing I figured out is everyone of my parents issues can be traced to there parents my dad was babied by an overbearing italion mother and then my overbearing mother even now that she died and my mother is gone he is ruled by my younger aunt and my sister, my mother never got along with her parents so she didn't expect me to get along and when I didn't fit the mold gave up and focased on my sister

I actually should go to bed. I have to work tomorrow at six and I've been bad and not going to bed till later than I should. The other night I only got three and a half hours of sleep. I don't function well on that little sleep I've found out.

phoebsfan wrote:

Polygirl wrote:
my sister and I are so close in age everyone thinks we should be best friends but we are too diffrent so one of us is always suffering if we hang out together so we stay apart we have found that when we are apart we are better at talking and dealing with each other if we wern't sisters we would never talk or do anything together

I think the important thing is that you both feel that way. My little sister always wondered why I was so distant and has told me since that she grew up feeling like a replacement.

we just look at each other with the same look how in the world can we be siblings as nither of us even comes close to understanding each other

lol everyone used to say that I must have been mixed up at the hospital blond hair blue eyes in a family of dark brown/black hair and eyes stands out, along with me being so quite and everyone else are social butterflys

phoebsfan wrote:I actually should go to bed. I have to work tomorrow at six and I've been bad and not going to bed till later than I should. The other night I only got three and a half hours of sleep. I don't function well on that little sleep I've found out.

thats rough sleep is nessary for health and good behavior

jonezn4Bones wrote:So what if anything can jonezy do for his girls? How can I distract you in positive ways?

idk jonezy I am sure that you have some ideas in thst skull of yours

Polygirl wrote:the thing I figured out is everyone of my parents issues can be traced to there parents my dad was babied by an overbearing italion mother and then my overbearing mother even now that she died and my mother is gone he is ruled by my younger aunt and my sister, my mother never got along with her parents so she didn't expect me to get along and when I didn't fit the mold gave up and focased on my sister

yeah. the thing I've figured out is that my parents are people too and though they helped make me who I am. It's my choice to stay that way and my responsibility to change if I don't like who I am. Plus I get really tired of my Mom whining about how it's all her fault. Lol.

Polygirl wrote:

phoebsfan wrote:I actually should go to bed. I have to work tomorrow at six and I've been bad and not going to bed till later than I should. The other night I only got three and a half hours of sleep. I don't function well on that little sleep I've found out.

thats rough sleep is nessary for health and good behavior

ah ha... I must need more sleep then... I have real problems with the good behavior bit.

at least your mom saw her issues the big thing that stops me from reconnecting with my mom besides all the past is the fact that she is still off her meds and dosn't think she did anything wrong in her eyes shes fine and the rest of the world is evil and just out to get her

phoebsfan wrote:

Polygirl wrote:

phoebsfan wrote:I actually should go to bed. I have to work tomorrow at six and I've been bad and not going to bed till later than I should. The other night I only got three and a half hours of sleep. I don't function well on that little sleep I've found out.

thats rough sleep is nessary for health and good behavior

ah ha... I must need more sleep then... I have real problems with the good behavior bit.

thats why I hide out in my room alot if I have to interact with lots of people I tend to get cranky and people think I am a bitch

wow I made my goal weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

phoebsfan wrote:

Polygirl wrote:

phoebsfan wrote:I actually should go to bed. I have to work tomorrow at six and I've been bad and not going to bed till later than I should. The other night I only got three and a half hours of sleep. I don't function well on that little sleep I've found out.

thats rough sleep is nessary for health and good behavior

ah ha... I must need more sleep then... I have real problems with the good behavior bit.

Go to sleep, Darling. We'll be around. Get some rest so that dealing with crap isn't so overwhelming.

we will be here tomorrow we have no lives and bed rest makes for chatty on the internet

Congrats on 2500, poly

thanks jonezy

Polygirl wrote:at least your mom saw her issues the big thing that stops me from reconnecting with my mom besides all the past is the fact that she is still off her meds and dosn't think she did anything wrong in her eyes shes fine and the rest of the world is evil and just out to get her

yeah, that is really hard. My mother's mother was never medicated and refused to believe that she had a problem. I think my mom saw that and decided not to to put us through what she had to go through. And I don't blame you for not reconnecting when she doesn't think there is a problem. I'm sorry about that and I wish there was something I could do or tell you. But really, if she doesn't see a problem then you're at kind of a stand still anyway. That just sucks.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh cullen I just realized I now am stuck with cullen forever

phoebsfan wrote:

Polygirl wrote:at least your mom saw her issues the big thing that stops me from reconnecting with my mom besides all the past is the fact that she is still off her meds and dosn't think she did anything wrong in her eyes shes fine and the rest of the world is evil and just out to get her

yeah, that is really hard. My mother's mother was never medicated and refused to believe that she had a problem. I think my mom saw that and decided not to to put us through what she had to go through. And I don't blame you for not reconnecting when she doesn't think there is a problem. I'm sorry about that and I wish there was something I could do or tell you. But really, if she doesn't see a problem then you're at kind of a stand still anyway. That just sucks.

at this point I just tend to think of her as dead and have comteplated telling people that as when I tell them all this they don't know how to act

Polygirl wrote:

phoebsfan wrote:

Polygirl wrote:

phoebsfan wrote:I actually should go to bed. I have to work tomorrow at six and I've been bad and not going to bed till later than I should. The other night I only got three and a half hours of sleep. I don't function well on that little sleep I've found out.

thats rough sleep is nessary for health and good behavior

ah ha... I must need more sleep then... I have real problems with the good behavior bit.

thats why I hide out in my room alot if I have to interact with lots of people I tend to get cranky and people think I am a bitch

LOL me too. I tell people I have a very small tolerance for actual interaction with people or a low social quota. When I exceed that I get very cranky and bitchy.

Congrats Poly... I'm sorry about Cullen though.

Ok... now I'm going to go to bed like a good girl... I should only have to work for a few hours tomorrow...yay.