The Truth that a Closet can Reveal (T-->M; B&B -Ange, Sweets; Romance +humor&angst) NOW COMPLETE!

wow
really great...like intense!! can't desbribe it better...
PPS!!

8th Chapter

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It was a beautiful morning. The sun shone brightly, birds sang in the trees. There was a soft breeze that played cheerfully with her hair as she walked through the Jeffersonian gardens, bringing little water drops from the water fountains that felt like dew on her skin.

But she couldn't care less.

Last night she had arrived home directly to her computer, working her frustration off writing she didn't remember what. She went to bed only when she found she couldn't keep her eyes open any more, as to make sure she'd fall asleep immediately. She even programmed her alarm clock so she'd be just a bit late for work, so she’d be in such a hurry she wouldn't have time but to run to be at the lab in time.

In other words, she was trying really hard to avoid thinking. And that was something more than quite unexpected.

She knew things were getting really messed up. She knew she was walking on eggshells, and the fact she'd played a role in breaking the eggs up was troubling her immensely. Besides, there was this other thing: she knew that if she tried to do this alone, things would only get worse, much worse than the possibility of being vulnerable—wasn't that saying a lot?

Somehow, she knew that taking the decision to go and talk to Angela was another sign that she was trying to change. Maybe just a few things, maybe only small bits of herself. But it was enough to scare the hell out of her. Taking these steps, no matter how small they were, was something she didn't want to start doing all by herself. She was feeling helpless and, because of that, mad. She felt unbalanced.

And if she couldn't rely on Booth to help her get her balance back, she’d try relying on Angela.

She reached her friend's office and went right through the open door. She sat on the couch, not noticing how her hands were wriggling furiously on her knees, and stared into space. She didn't know what to say, where to begin, and that confused her even more.

Angela, having noticed the way Brennan had come directly to her, not taking the time even to leave her purse at her own office, looked at her friend and took on the bewildered expression she wore. Saw the way she was squirming in her place and wondered if she'd ever seen her friend being so obvious about her inner turmoil. Saw her... and worried.

She stepped away from her desk, leaving behind a half-sculpted face reconstruction and went silently to sit on the coffee table in front of her friend.

And waited.

“You know,” the anthropologist finally said, her voice so low it was almost a whisper. “Sometimes, I've found myself acting out of my brain. I remember a few times. But they left me so insecure that I try to keep them to a minimum. But now... These last few days, I've been forgetting my own experience. I realize I've been trying, I don't know why, to act from my emotions. I shouldn't be surprised this is such a mess.”

Angela saw her friend staring down at her hands, fighting a battle with herself. For once, she decided to remain silent, giving Brennan time to try to understand herself. But, as seconds became minutes, she understood her friend needed help to achieve that.

“Bren,” she said. “What is a mess? What happened? Tell me.”

“Booth. Rather, what's between us... our friendship... it's rapidly becoming something too distorted to have such a clear name. I think. I don't know. God, I hate this feeling. I hate feeling confused. I shouldn't have tried to connect with my emotions. I know it's no good.”

“You tried to connect with your emotions?” She really tried to hide any trace of doubt from her voice. She really tried.

“Yes, now I see I did.” Angela inwardly sighed at confirming she'd succeeded. “But I'm not sure I was good at it. I realized there were some things... some new things in me. Somehow, it seems I felt happy with the thought of changing, as if for an incredibly weak moment I thought it'd bring any good to my life. And I did, I thought it'd be good, that I could control whatever came out of it, but it certainly didn't bring any good to my life. Instead, it's just changing things in a bad way. And although I know I don't want to try to experiment with my own life anymore and that I want to go back to being the same me I've been for years and years, the mistake is already done and I don't know how to fix it,” she finished with strained voice, her terrified and sad look reflecting the way she was feeling.

“Ok... Well... Right,” Angela said, trying to make sense out of what her friend had said. The fact that she couldn't really worried her even more. “I think that in order to help you I need the details, Sweetie.”

“You think Booth wants me?”

She raised her eyebrows at the question, surprised at Temperance’s doubt and by the fact she'd even dared to ask. She had to be really confused to be asking herself or anyone that question. “God yeah, Bren. And if I'm not mistaken, I've been trying to make you understand that since the first day he set foot on this place. And I'm not sure you want to hear this, but I think he doesn't only want you, but that he—cares deeply about you,” Angela corrected at the last instant. Her friend was too confused to understand what she'd mean by 'having feelings' or what she really thought: that he was completely in love with her.

“Then why? Why is it all so complicated?”

“Hey,” Angela said as she reached for her friend's hands. “Listen. Breath deep. Calm down a bit. I still don't understand what's going on, so we'll start from the beginning, ok? And we'll start with the facts, to then go to the reasons behind them, ok?”

“Ok,” Brennan said as she let her breath out.

“So, whatever it is that's happening, it's related to Booth, right?”

“Right. Sort of. I mean, I think it's me that's changing, but what's being affected the most is my relationship with Booth.”

“Ok, so yes. Mh-hm. You also said you acted from your feelings. Does that mean it’s your feelings that are causing you trouble with Booth?” she asked quietly, respecting her friend's feelings but not being able to avoid having a feeling of hope—maybe this time they were finally going to do something about the feelings they had so much trouble accepting.

“Yes. The other day he kissed me,” she said not noticing Ange's gasp of surprise. “But then it was me kissing him... And I don't know why! We decided nothing was going to happen. Or at least he decided nothing was going to happen. Between us. Then there’s what happened last night, when we were walking by the mirror pool and I thought he was going to kiss me again. He didn't, and I kissed him. He said we had to stop kissing, that it wasn't good for us. God, I felt so rejected. Ange, I can't stand feeling that from him. I just can't,” she finished as she dried the single tear that threatened to fall over.

Angela heard her strained voice and hurt. She just hoped she'd be able to heal her friend, even if it was just a little bit. Having her wounded the first time she allowed herself to dive into her feelings was a very, very bad thing. “He's the one saying you shouldn't be together?”

“Yes. There's this line between us... It means we can't risk being together. We can't risk our friendship, we can't risk something like what happened to Cam when they were together and Epps poisoned her.”

“Ok, I kinda get the friendship bit, but what is it about poisoning and stuff?”

“He says that we can't have personal relationships with people at work because we'd be risking the criminals attacking us as a way to getting to each other.”

“So he didn't approve of Hodgins and me? How we were supposedly risking each other by being together?”

“I don't know, he never commented on that. And you'd say he didn't approve of Sully and me, right? After all, he was an FBI agent as well! But no, it seems it's only us that aren't supposed to be together or we'd risk each other.”

“Well, let me tell you, if he didn't approve of you and Sully it wasn't because of that line of his—it was because he's wanted you since he first saw you and he was seeing it all red with jealousy!” She realized a bit too late the shocked expression on Bren's face, and decided not to dwell on it. “Anyway, we're talking about the line. And it's bullshit.”

“I'm not so sure, Angela. If we were together we would be in danger of people attacking the other to get to us.”

“I never thought I'd be telling you this, Sweetie, but—There's fault in your logic.”

“There is?”

Angela was glad to hear Bren a little more relaxed now that she was talking about it all. “There is. Tell me, have you avoided that kind of thing by not being together?”

Brennan was surprised out of words. “Well...”

“Do you remember when Booth was kidnapped? When you were, for that matter? When there was a bomb in your house? When Booth was shot? See, you don't avoid a thing, Bren. You risk those things because of the work we all do, we can't help it. Those things come with the job,” she said seeing her friend's face alter as she thought about that. “You two have to be honest. You two care so much for each other that it doesn't matter if you're romantically involved or not, you'll suffer the same if any of you were to get hurt. So it's no reason not to be together. On the contraire, it should be a reason to be a couple!”

“No, wait. What? I mean, I understood the first part, but why is it a reason to be together? And what was with the French? You sound like Caroline, Ange,” she said even smiling a bit, her spirits rising as she talked things through with her friend.

And her friend noticed, and felt proud of her job. “Forget the French. The important thing is that none of us can avoid the danger. OK, it's worse for you two 'cause you both get to work on the field much, much more than the rest of us, but it doesn't change the facts: if something were going to happen to either of you... wouldn't you wish you'd tried and tasted a bit of paradise?”

“Assuming that by that metaphor you imply trying to be a couple, I'm not that sure,” she said, confused by this new perspective on things and more than a little afraid to have her hopes too high.

“Why? I am sure. Bren... I can't start to tell you how much I'd love seeing you experience something as wonderful as being with someone you love and who loves you back, someone who likes you just the way you are and who you like just as much. And believe me... I've felt it can be like that for Booth and you for a long while now... Anyone knowing you both even a little would realize there're deep feelings there. You don't have to act on them for it to be obvious. So why not to act on them? If it's not going to release tension for you two it sure as heck will release the tension of us looking at you and it'd put an end to the bets I'm sure there must be running around.”

Brennan rolled her eyes. “You have got to be exaggerating.”

“I am not, believe me,” Angela chuckled.

“Anyway,” Temperance said as she let a sigh escape, “it all sounds logical and great, maybe too great. But it doesn't do much for the risk of messing up our friendship.”

The sadness had come back to Bren's eyes. “Look... After all that's happened I'm not sure there's much you can do about it. I mean,” she decided to elaborate at seeing how she started to panic a bit, “clearly a friendship is not enough for you anymore. I don't think anyone's been able yet to define what separates a friendship from a romantic relationship, but I don't think anyone doubts it's not the same. And I think you two aren't friends... you're a couple. A couple that wasn't ready to be one but that is finally seeing things clearly. A couple that is made by such good friends that it's highly improbable they won't make it work.”

It was then, just then, that Temperance understood what was inside her. Something popped in her, lighting something she hadn't seen there before even though she was sure it had been there for a long while. She thought maybe this was what was called an epiphany. “Ange... I do. You're right, I do.”

“You do what?” she asked, confused.

“I do want to be romantically involved with Booth. Oh, God!” If things were scary before, now they were simply terrifying.

“Hey... Hey!” she said reaching for her, taking her by the shoulders. “It's alright. It's ok to feel that way.”

“No, it's not ok...” she hid her face behind her hands, so her voice sounded muffled by them. “What am I supposed to do now? I've never felt like this before. I've never felt this much before! I simply don't know what to do with all this. Why did he get into me so much I'd be willing to risk looking inwards? Why does he make me feel this much? It just doesn't make sense. It doesn't.”

“That's what happens when you find something like what you two have. It took you long enough to realize, though.”

Brennan took a deep breath and lay back on the couch. “I guess it seems like it from where you are. I can't really concur.”

“Just let me tell you something. Don't be so scared. I'm really happy to see you're focusing on your feelings and that they're this important because it means you're living life at its fullest. Don't stop, Sweetie. You don't have to change; I love you just as you are. But at least with us that love you this much... Allow yourself to feel everything,” she said emphasizing the last word. “We're here to go there right next to you on that trip,” she hugged her tightly. “And just go for it. You won't regret it.”

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This chap was really, REALLY hard to write. I was (and still am) insecure about finding the balance between what Bren would be like with all these changes going on in her and keeping it not too OOC. I'd very much appreciate your opinion with it. The only thing I like about it is Ange LOL

Thanks for your reviews, girls!

I love the girl talk
and I think that Bren is still very much in character although she is trying to get in touch with her emotions
it's a good thing that she went to Ange for help....she really needs some advice
I hope you continue soon
I can't wait for more!

I think it would be very hard for Brennan to express her feelings, and I'm glad Angela was there to help her along with that.

I'm still not very happy, seeing as though Brennan & Booth haven't talked things out. But it's getting there...

Good job, as always Loe!

I loved it as always!!!

okay okay.....i am all caught up........and so love how she is finally facing what she feels........and how booth is trying to protect her by drawing the line.....even though angela is right.......there is no need for the line......and the girl talk is also wonderful......i miss those moments they used to have on the show.....oh all this angst and intense feelings.......you know.....it can be intensely fluffy as well....(hint).....brilliant woman........you could even write more angst if you wanted too(ducks flying objects)........i could take that.....but fluffy is good too..........so on to the next chapter............go on now...........want to read it soon.....lol

wow. okay so i've read all of this, and it's absolutely amazing! i love it sooo much! i cant wait to see what happens next

Chap. 9

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They hadn't talked at all since the previous night, and he didn't know if he was relieved by it or not. He had been about to call her many times during the day, but he'd decided against it every time. He simply didn't know what to say... how could he, if he didn't know what was happening? He didn't even know what he really wanted, what he really felt.

He got out of his car and entered his house, closing the door behind him. He went directly to his bar, not bothering to turn the lights on. He needed more than a beer tonight, so he served himself a single malt scotch and took it to his couch, where he sat in the darkness.

He knew he wanted to see her, that he wanted to make things right. He wanted to listen to her, to walk next to her, to see her smile one of her beautiful smiles at him. He wanted to be there with her when she gave her full attention to whatever riddles she always found in the remains she was working with. He wanted to simply be with her...

He just wanted to be with her.

He closed his eyes and let his breath out, nervous by the line of thought he was having. He used to keep that kind of thought at bay, fearing to find something he knew he wasn't ready to acknowledge. But he knew that if he didn't allow himself to go there this time, he could well say goodbye to what he had with Temperance.

Funny, when he got to think of her in this way, in this more intimate way—one in which he began to feel the little waves of... feelings—he fell into calling her Temperance more often. He did like to call her Bones; it was his affectionate name for her, one he didn't like to hear other people using but that to him summarized their story together. So even though Bones meant a lot to him, it was Temperance he talked to on the rare occasions he let his heart take full predominance.

Maybe that was why he didn't call her that too often. He knew he hid himself behind humor and affability and that there were really few people that knew his dark side. Bones was maybe one of two or three people that could say they shared one of his secrets. It was hard for him to open himself to others; he was much better in being there for the people he cared for than allowing them to be there for him. So when he showed his heart to her it wasn't by words, but by actions... in the way he talked to her, in the way he cared about her. Thus, he'd only called her by her given name on the unusual occasions when she allowed him to comfort her and not much more. It didn't mean he didn't call her that when she wasn't there.

Ok, so what did he know about his reactions to her by now? He knew he had the hots for her... hard not to know that, what with the way his body reacted to her—wasn't that what got them to where they were right now?—and the dreams he'd had on occasion. Wow, those dreams where just... not what he needed to think right now. So, that was the physical part. But not even allowing himself to go much deeper, he knew there was much more to it. Much, much more.

He also knew their friendship was rare, the kind that escaped the concepts of words. The bond was as strong as some of those he formed with a few men in his years in the military, but it also was something more. There was something in his relationship with Temperance that was different from every other relationship he had ever had... and that both intrigued and scared him.

Why? What was so different? What was really between them? Because he also knew he cared about her more than enough for it to be important how she was doing, to be with her for the joy of it and to make her understand she wasn't lonely anymore, to show her there were people always ready to be there for her, people that could be trusted, that liked her the way she was and that didn't think she was socially crippled, that didn't think her cold... to make her happy if she wasn't, to make her feel loved.

“Oh my God,” he said to the darkness surrounding him.

The shock was so great he had to remind himself to breath. He drank what was left of the whiskey in his glass all at once and coughed a bit as a reaction to the alcohol. Then he sat motionless, afraid any movement would interfere with this new discovery.

Loved?, he thought. Loved.

He loved her.

No wonder he'd messed things up. He was terrified by the extent of his love for her and that didn't speak too highly of him. He'd preferred to hide away his love for fear of... for fear of what? He knew she wasn't cold, she was just as afraid as he was. But he was the one that was supposed to be people-wise, the one who knew his own emotions truthfully.

But here he was, just realizing he loved his partner.

It was more than the hots, it was more than a friendship. It wasn't that it was different from those things; it meant his love encompassed those things and thus was much bigger. He had stubbornly been avoiding coming to that conclusion, thinking that she was the one not ready to let herself feel, blocking away his love and their potential together.

And now, because of that, he hadn't been able to deal with the consequences of what had happened in the closet and not only had he kissed her in a way that, though passionate, hadn't allowed for awareness and dexterity; he had also hurt her when she'd kissed him and he'd thought it was a bad idea.

Wasn't it ironic that by avoiding his feelings for fear of losing what they had he was about to achieve just that?

He felt horribly guilty. He'd kept thinking she wouldn't be ready, that nothing was worth the risk. But he couldn't lie to himself anymore: it had been he who hadn't been ready to accept what was inside him, masking it all in a pretense of doing it for her. He'd been a coward and all he'd gotten by that was doing to Temperance exactly what he'd sworn never to do. He'd failed her.

He held his head between his hands, his elbows on his knees, and prayed.

Please... let it not be too late. Let me fix this mess I got us into. Help me be the man I've always wanted to be for her... Maybe I've failed and I don't deserve to be close to her anymore, but I'm willing to do whatever's necessary to be worthy of her in Your eyes.

He didn't receive an instantaneous answer, but he knew he would eventually. He only had to wait for the moment to arise, and he'd face his fears and fight his way through insecurities, relying on instinct alone... and faith. He'd make the most of it when the moment came...

He'd make sure he saved their friendship, taking everything never more than one step at a time. He'd find a way to get things back to normal and then, ever so slowly, find the answers they needed to find a balance between what they had and what they might have. They had to be sure, they had to be solid before taking such a step as a romantic relationship, because no matter how much he loved her—Oh, God, he thought, still not used to accepting it—the crucial point was not losing her.

Yes, they'd find a way to solve any problem they had to be together... as friends or otherwise. They'd discover how not to risk each other, how to make sure they had every right to be as close as they were. He'd be ready for it when the moment came.

Or when he made it happen.

He looked at the clock and saw it was 11pm. Late, but he'd gone to her house later than that.

He got up and took his jacket, having no problems to find it in the dark with his eyes accustomed to it. He put it on and checked his pockets, making sure he got everything he needed. He didn't know what he'd do or say once he was there, but it didn't really matter. All that mattered was seeing her and making sure it was not too late to save their friendship, so he'd have the time to convince her to consider a romantic relationship eventually, if it wasn't too risky.

He opened the door and was just about to run down the steps when he realized his way was blocked.

“Bones?” he choked. “What are you doing here?”

And because I'm feeling generous and there's only a bit left,
Chap 10

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The cursor blinked repeatedly on the open document she had on her laptop, waiting for her typing to command new words for the chapter she was trying to write. But, as her hands lay still over the keyboard, nothing came to fill up the space.

She'd come home with the idea of working on her novel, thinking that maybe it'd be a good exercise to let herself calm down. But she simply couldn't do more than thinking about what she'd learned about herself that day.

As a start, she'd remembered how difficult it was to feel hurt and why she'd decided to hide it all deep within herself. It was just so much... feeling wasn't a smooth trip at all. But not feeling wasn't really easier, because it didn't mean she didn't actually feel; it was only that she didn't pay attention while limiting herself to burying her emotions somewhere deep inside. And now, as she allowed herself to dive into what she felt, she found that the experiences she'd encountered of late left her on the lower side of the mood-scale.

Well, that could be so. But she knew it was mathematically impossible to be like that forever. Eventually, something incredibly good would happen, and she hoped that 'something' would be good enough to help her find the balance. She had at least to give this experiment that chance. Otherwise, she'd miss half of what life had to give... just as she used to. She'd be back to being someone she didn't want to be anymore.

She knew that many people thought she was cold precisely because she didn't usually allow her feelings to arise. But she did feel... it was only that she didn't let it come to surface most of the times. And, as she risked doing exactly that because she thought it was worth it, she found she didn't really have guidelines to lead her.

Maybe Angela was right, and all she had to do now was take a chance when the person was right. Maybe she didn't have to be that open with everyone; perhaps she only had to train herself to feel this much with people she cared deeply about and that cared just as much back. The main obstacle would be learning to recognize when the moment was right, and when the person was right.

She was a genius, she could do that. She'd learn to read people and be open about her emotions when the person was right, and not only when she lost control.

Maybe Booth would help. Maybe that would help with Booth.

She could see it both ways.

Booth had been there for her on those occasions where she was so terrified she hadn't been able to help herself and had looked for his shoulder to rely on. He'd seen her cry and be nervous and afraid, and he still was there. He'd seen the parts of her she least liked, and he took it all in stride and stayed. In other words, he accepted that she wasn't perfect. So perhaps he'd accept her mistakes while she was learning to balance her overwhelming feelings and the appropriate responses to them. He even could teach her, just as he explained pop references to her. And if she learned to do that, she could find her way to a nice and full relationship with him.

She still wasn't used to the notion she wanted to be romantically involved with him. That was another thing she'd learned about herself during her discussion with her friend that day, and it left her breathless.

She could only wonder at how long it had taken her to realize she was more than just physically attracted to him. It had to be not only because she used to hide her feelings; she was sure it was all influenced by that line she was so sure existed no matter what between them. She'd hidden behind that line so as to not risk herself and their friendship, holding to it whenever she felt something not really partner-like.

And what was that? What did she feel about Booth?

She didn't know, and she wasn't sure she was ready to acknowledge it just yet. She was barely prepared to accept she wanted to be with him romantically—and that was a giant step for her. She'd never let herself think about a relationship when she wasn't sure the other was interested... ok, she knew Booth was interested in some way. But she also knew how stubborn he could be and if he insisted on the line and the risks and all that, she could very well find herself frustrated and sad. And that was something she'd never let herself risk.

But she was willing to risk it if it was Booth they were talking of. That she could understand and work with. She'd consider being committed to a relationship with him, one in which they could both be who they were because that's what they both wanted from each other. She could believe they'd have something like that... if they managed to start something.

She closed the laptop, finally realizing she wouldn't have anything done that night. She got up and went to the kitchen to make herself some tea and try to relax, because she wouldn't be sleeping that night otherwise.

She put the electric water kettle on and prepared her tea leaves to make a relaxing infusion. If she wasn't able to talk to Booth soon to set her mind to peace, she'd make do with what she had within reach.

Or could she?

She looked at her microwave clock and saw it was 9:30. It was early enough to go to his home and see if they could talk things through. They had to talk about what had happened last night and what she felt was between them.

She turned the electric water kettle off and got her jacket and keys on her way out, promising she wouldn't think anymore until she got there, letting her heart go in full drive.

***

She parked her car and walked the short distance to his house, trying to discern his presence through the windows. She knew the fact his car wasn't there didn't really mean much, since he always parked it in the small garage next to his house.

She climbed the stairs to his door and looked for a light that would tell her of his presence in the house.

Everything was in darkness, so she could only guess he was still at work. He could be trying to keep himself busy, which would mean he could arrive anytime until midnight. She'd known him doing that. And she could only understand if he was doing that in their current situation.

So, he wasn't home. But she'd wait; it didn't matter how long it took him to get home, she'd be there, waiting to talk to him. And, unless the night grew too cold, she'd wait right there, on his steps, so there'd be no chance whatsoever of missing him on his way in.

She rested a hip against the rail and crossed her arms in front of her to keep herself as warm as she could. Seeley Booth, please hurry, she thought.

***

She didn't know how long she'd been there, but she'd bet it was more than an hour. She'd sat on the steps a while ago, thinking that the closest to a ball she got, the less cold she'd feel.

It was getting hard not to think. Before she'd left home she'd told herself she needed to let her heart open when she talked to Booth, because it was only that and the arguments she had thought of and what Angela had told her that held her chances to convince him it wasn't such a bad idea to start something together. All she'd allowed herself to do was thinking of what she'd already thought, as a way to see every angle possible.

But she felt herself weakening. She needed some kind of stimulation beyond the cold to focus on her feelings; if she wasn't feeling, how was she supposed to stop thinking? She was a genius, but she couldn't work miracles. She'd spent half her life pretending not to feel... she couldn't just change it all of a sudden.

But she'd try. She sure as everything would. She deserved it, her loved ones deserved it. And, if she was able to convince Booth that trying something out with her wasn't dangerous or that bad an idea at all, they both would deserve it.

She felt a worm of doubt for the first time since she'd come to the resolution of talking to him that same night. What she was about to do was so foreign to her that her defenses—her old defenses—managed to ask her if she was sure of what she was doing. She still had time to go back and think things over.

Just before she could answer herself, she heard the door to her back clicking open. She got up too surprised to be scared, turning to see the man she'd been waiting for stepping out the door.

“Bones... What are you doing here?”
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I'm glad the chap 8 turned out well in your eyes
Thanks for your reviews!

Two chapters in one night, Loe? You're awesome. Want to make it three?

I love how Booth finally realized what he felt for Brennan... I can't wait to see what happens next!

wow that was awesome...so yeah, wanna be incredibly generous and give us another?

Oh!!! We shouldn't just stop it there! Post soon, Aloe!

wow two new chapters....I loved them both
now I can't wait for them to start talking
pps!

Thanks Aloe! Those were great. Time for a little heart to heart now! Can't wait...

Ok, it's time for the final update.
I have to thank A2B for helping me with the inspiration... It was a chat with her over at the IHBFC that had me create this little piece.
And I have to thank Deb for beta'ing...

Without both of them, this wouldn't have been written.

BUT, since I'm here to please you with the ending, I'm open to suggestions on what you'd like changed... I'm willing to fix it!

So, here it goes...

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Booth saw the elevator's door open before him and was thankful he saw a young man waiting for it. He asked him if he could hold the door open until he could pass through them. He'd broken his right hip last summer when a man ran too close to him and made him fall to the floor. Now he wasn't able to walk faster than a few steps per minute on his best days.

Being 80 years old was no easy feature.

Life was still full of dangers... But there were no bullets, no murderers, no sociopaths he had to catch anymore. He'd left those dangers behind when he'd retired 15 years ago, but was surrounded now by new dangers as he grew old. What once were every day's chores were now a high risk situation: Do you know how difficult it is to have a simple shower when you can't rise your leg more than a few inches?

It had been 15 minutes since he'd set foot on her floor when he finally reached the door. He rested his weight on his walking stick and pressed the doorbell with his free hand.

A few minutes later, the door opened to show a woman peering through glasses so thick the eyes behind them seemed to occupy half her face.

“Booth,” she said. “You're late”

“I know, Bones, I'm sorry,” he replied as the tortuous process of entering her apartment began. He still thought the distance between the door and the chairs designed to make elder's life easier was too much. But, if things went fine, he might have a say on that.“I just have to remind you I'm not 60 anymore. It takes time to move these days.”

“I know that, Booth. I know. Listen, do you want some tea? It's time for my mid-afternoon pills. Did you bring yours?”

“Of course I did! I'm not senile!” He said ignoring the whistle that replaced every 's' he said. It had been years since any of them paid any attention to it.

“I'm not saying you are. I'm just asking. There's no need to get defensive.”

“Yes, Bones, I brought my pills,” he replied as he rolled his eyes. Bickering was still their forte decades later. “And brought my evening pills as well, in case I have the need to take a nap, like the last time I came by.”

A half hour later, they were both sat face to face again.

“So, what was that you wanted to ask me?” she asked.

He felt himself going more nervous by the moment. But he knew it was the time, they couldn't keep avoiding the issue anymore.

“Well, Temperance... After we retired, our relationship was coffee. We knew it would be that way. We knew that's what our relationship was going to be... coffee.”

“I think I understood that the first time you said it, Booth.”

“Just let me finish, ok, Bones?” he stared at her until she gestured him to continue. “Thank you. Anyway, we've met for coffee at least twice a week for 15 years now. We speak over the phone every day. You were with me the day Parker graduated from college, when he got married, and when my grandchildren were born. I hope you know how important you are to me.”

She looked at him and felt the weight of years together as partners—professional partners for 30 years and life partners since they'd met(though never romantic partners)—and surprised herself by being nervous but what he could say.

“What's wrong, booth?” she asked a little afraid of the answer, but still brave enough to get over it.

She arranged her heavy glasses on the bridge of her nose and waited.

“We've known each other for 45 years. Can you believe it?” He was pissed by the wet sound his dentures made when he talked.

“I can imagine it, though there's no need for that since it's what actually has happened between us. Why, can't you?”

“Of course I can. It was a rhetorical question, Bones.”

“Ohhh... I understand now.”

“So... Well... I was thinking... You know, we know each other so well... And we're not the young people we used to be and...”

“Just say it, Booth. I would have hoped you knew I like things to be bold and direct.”

“Would you agree in moving in together?”

The way she opened her eyes looked almost scary through the thick glass.

He thought that was not a good sign.

He should have known he'd waited too long!

“Booth, I don't know... It's kind of sudden... I wasn't expecting—”

“Oh, c'mon, Bones! It's not like I'm going to make a move on you or something... It's not like I'm capable of doing much, anyway...”

“So what's your purpose? I mean,” she corrected when she saw it was his time to be surprised. “Why did you think it'd be a good idea?”

“So we can help each other. Things are not easy for us, and I refuse to let anyone else see me weak.”

“Ok, let's do it, Booth. Maybe it was time I was reckless!”

“You won't regret it, Bones,” he said while putting on one of his patented charm smiles. He'd made sure his dentures had a natural look so he could keep charming what he wanted out of her. “I told you once... Everything happens eventually.”
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I know, I know...
You must be thinking there must be something wrong, right?
Well, these are the wonders of fiction. You see, there's magic in missing that conversation between them... But we get to see when they finally feel like being reckless, right?

So, what do you think?
Is there something I can fix in this????

LOL

don't get mad at me, Deb... As I said at the IHBFC just before you left, I just wanted to share the glory!!!!

LOL! I LOVE IT

ha ha.........loe........you are sooooooooooooooooo bad............

i think its a lovely ending to a fantastic story.........it ends happy at least.......they are both alive.........and no hips are broken............dentures in place........niiiiice..........

and now......with the comic relief out of the way........do we get a real ending soon......like............tomorrow............lol

although......i have to admit..........this is perfect.......so no other ending is needed.......dont you agree?????????????? loe........this was hysterical and brilliant.......thank you so much for sharing...........

Oh that was kind of sad that she thought it was "sudden" after 45 years of flirting!!!

OMG they are still not together? and he is already 80?
and she is telling him that 'It's kind of sudden'?

LOL

LMAO... I was laughing so hard when I read that trough....
You should post next chappie soon. I so loved it..

I know I should, but there's only 2 chaps left and one of them is not yet done, let alone beta'ed. so i'm trying to kill some time before posting the next real chap, so you don't have to wait too much until the final chap is ready!

I would love to read the next chapter as well
I can't wait for more

Ready?

3... 2... 1-- GO!

xoxoxoxoxox

They stared at each other, both waiting for the other to make the first move.

But she was the one to take the lead. “Can I come in? It's really cold out here.”

Her words got him into action. “Sure, Bones, come on in,” he said as he motioned her towards the warmth of his home. He took his jacket off and left his keys on a nearby table. “Can I take your jacket?”

“No. Not yet. I'm cold.”

He reached up to touch her cheek softly. “Geez, Bones, you're freezing! Come here,” he said as he walked to his kitchen. “I bought some of that tea you like so much the other day, I'll make you a cup.”

She followed him silently, more than a bit touched by the fact he had bought that tea. He was already turning the stove on, while preparing his french press to make some coffee.

“I had no idea you were out there, Bones,” he said after a while. “Why didn't you knock?”

“I didn't know you were here. I didn’t see any lights on and thought you were probably still at work,” she said as she took her jacket off, warm enough now to wear only the sweater she had underneath.

“No, I was here, thinking... thinking,” he amended. “I sometimes find it easier when the lights are turned off.”

“I don't see how that would influence your cognitive function,” she commented as she sat on a stool.

“It just does,” he answered absently as he took the water before it boiled.

She noticed that, and was surprised he'd be so cautious as to remember coffee and tea would burn if you used boiling water on them.

He was so used to doing it that he didn't notice what he'd done. He was thinking about how much he wanted to ask her why she'd been there instead, but decided he better take his time. Something told him that conversation was going to be a long one.

He handed her the cup of tea and watched as she inhaled the aromatic vapor coming from it. “Should we go to the living room?”

“Ok,” she said as she got up and walked to where the light switch was, leaving her jacket somewhere in the middle. After flicking it, she went to the couch and sat there, barely noticing the glass with two half melted ice cubes before he sat in front of her with his cup of coffee. She never thought twice about how comfortable she felt in his home.

They drank in silence a while, not looking at each other. Just as the silence grew too heavy, she spoke up.

“You were going out when you saw me out there.”

It wasn't a question, and he didn't answer it as that. “I was going to see you,” he said, looking at the dark pool of coffee in his hands.

Because of that, he missed the sharp look she sent him. “Really? Why?”

“I needed to talk to you.”

It was as their eyes finally made contact that they remembered how it had been the last time they'd seen each other. They'd been kissing and he'd hurt her when he hadn't been able to be true to his feelings.

“What about?” she asked softly, her eyes glued to his.

“Us,” he explained in the same manner.

Hearing him saying that was like oxygen to fire. She felt hopeful, because there was a chance he'd agree with her once she talked things through with him.

“And you, Bones? What were you doing at my door?”

Well, that was just a good a start as she could get. “I needed to talk to you,” she smiled. “About us.”

He remained silent, a soft smile on his lips as well, knowing she'd explain further.

She folded her legs under her and faced him, breathing deep to try to relax. This is it, she thought. This is when I take the risk.

“Booth, I...” she found she was still nervous, and that didn't please her at all. “This is not easy for me, you know?”

“Yeah, I know,” he said reaching for her hand and squeezing, allowing that simple gesture to tell her he understood she was fighting against years of behavioral patterns.

Thankful, she squeezed back. And didn't let go. “What happened last night made me realize a few things. One is that we're... I'm in some kind of crisis. I'm being and doing things I never am or do, and that's confused me in a way I would have never thought I'd know how to manage. But I have, and I've come to some conclusions.”

“Conclusions?” he helped when she didn't keep talking.

“I don't want to do all the talking,” she said finally.

“Of course you wouldn't do all the talking now,” he laughed. He raised their joined hands and intertwined their fingers, looking at them as if he could find the right words there. “This feels great, doesn't it, Bones? I think we've never held hands before.”

Now it was her turn to wait.

“I have to say I'm sorry, Temperance. Last night I behaved really poorly. I should never have done that to you.”

She noticed her heart skipped a beat at the way he'd said her name and, though her brain told her it was ridiculous and impossible, her heart felt like it was growing with hope by the second. And she enjoyed it.

He drank the last bit of the dark liquid and left his cup on the coffee table. Then, as she handed him her cup, he left it there too.

He took her hand now between both his, enjoying the feeling and the fact she wasn't pulling back. He didn't know where—exactly—they were going with this conversation, but he knew he had to be honest. And brave, for her.

“I've realized this all has happened because there's something between us we didn't know what to do with. Looking back, I think it all started that day we first worked together on the field, when we were on the firing range. I distinctly remember being really close to you, so defiant, telling me I was afraid of going for the senator. Did you feel it too, Bones? The... call? I did,” he said, not waiting for her answer. “I was too close to kissing you. I was really close to acting on the pull I felt from you, but I said to myself that a little sexual heat between us and the partnership would be over even before it started. So I held myself in line. And have ever since.”

She'd never had a problem with sex before. She'd never thought negatively of an exclusively sexual relationship until she thought that was all he was looking for with her. “I see,” she said, her voice barely a whisper. Suddenly all her hopes seemed stupid.

“But then, as I got to know you, I felt the friendship build and you were too important to me to risk over sexual frustration,” he smiled in a bittersweet manner. “You're just too important. You just are.”

Well, at least that can be a first step, she thought. It had changed for her, it could change for him, too.

“So... You think of me as a friend you're sexually attracted to. Am I right, Booth?”

“What? No,” he tried to explain, just to be interrupted by her again.

“It's ok, I understand. It's just that I can't help wishing you felt differently...” She squeezed his hand again, closing her eyes to muster as much strength as she could. She was just about to jump off a cliff because her heart told her to, risking the very thing she wanted in her life: the man in front of her.

Her eyes still closed, she didn't see the stunned expression he bore. He wanted to correct her, to tell her, to stop her—something, but before he could decide what he wanted to do, she spoke again.

“Do you think you could? Feel more for me than just that?”

He thought of all the things that could go wrong. He thought of their story together, of the rules the FBI had, of the many cons anything between them had.

But none of that mattered when he saw her baring her heart in front of him.

He knew her words weren't of undying love, that they were merely asking if there was more than friendship between them. He also knew what they really meant.

His whole self seemed to be vibrating with the love and admiration he felt for her in that moment. She'd opened a door through her walls to take the risk he hadn't been brave enough to take. And she deserved he at least tried to be that brave.

He lifted her face with a finger on her chin, trying to make her look at him.

When she did, she found that the answer she was sure he was about to give had the potential to make things turn in 180 degrees. It was so much she felt she no longer was safe trusting her feelings, not right this minute. It didn't matter that his face seemed to glow; it could be what she heard was called wishful thinking. She simply had to make sure he'd considered a few more facts before giving his answer.

She got up quickly, looking down at him on the couch.

“Do you remember that line between us? If I am to trust Angela's view on the matter, which I should really do considering our respective skills, I would have to say that lines are meant to be crossed.”

He sat back, a bit frustrated by her sudden escape, but enjoying the show nonetheless. “Would you?”

“Yes,” she continued, not allowing him to go on. “You also said that people like us, who work in high risk situations every day, shouldn't be romantically involved. But I think there could be a lot of things that could separate us that we don't have control of. What about another bullet? Another Gravedigger? A car crash? We already care too much for each other for it to matter whether we're together or not. Wouldn’t it be better to try? If we're going to have to break it at some point, wouldn't it be better if it was because we were trying to make it better for us?”

He didn't think he could ever love her more.

She was trying to logically convince him to try something with her.

“I know you may not feel more than sexually-charged friendship for me right now, but I think you can feel differently. I know I started to feel differently. So maybe we could start going out to try different scenarios, so we could give this a chance. I decided to have hope because I think we're worth it. But if you don't right now, I'm willing to wait. Because, as I said before, I think we're worth it. I know we're worth it.”

He got up and took the step that made them finally stand close together.

“Can I say something? I've been trying and waiting to say something for a long while now,” he said softly, a light smile on his lips.

“Yes,” she replied tilting her head so she could look into his eyes. She didn't notice she sounded breathless.

He took her face between his hands, caressing her skin with his thumbs. He looked at her lips, just a bit open, already colored by her passionate speech. He ran a finger over them, which made her shiver. He smiled, and decided to change tactics.

“Guess I'll show you instead,” he said with a husky voice. “Just pay attention, Bones. Pay careful attention.”

She was sure the earth was trembling. She suddenly could feel the way it rotated on its axis at... some speed she knew she once knew.

Geez, could this man kiss.

She surrounded his neck with her arms and pressed herself to him. She only could feel him... but she wanted more of that. She wanted as much him as she could get.

He poured every bit of himself into the kiss. He wanted to show her in the way his lips, teeth and tongue played hers how much he really cared.

Because he cared.

She could feel it now. It didn't matter her brain tried one last time to tell her about impossibilities... the way he was kissing her, holding her, was a promise for more. It told her about certainties. Told her that what she wished would exist between them one day was already there.

She felt the loss of his lips on hers acutely. She opened her eyes indignantly, ready to demand for more. But he was looking at her in a way that requested she tried and listened to him.

So, she did.

“Temperance... I won't lie to you. I'm afraid. I'm terrified things won't work between us. But I have faith in us; I believe we can sort everything out. We just have to be willing to take the risk.” He ran his fingers through her hair, savoring the sensation he had never allowed himself to fully achieve. “I know you're brave, you've just shown me how strong you are. I admire you so much I can only hope to be worthy of you. But if you're willing to give us a chance, we can make this work. I really think we can. I don't know how yet, but we will.”

“I know,” she replied, feeling like herself again. Knowing he wanted to try to be with her left her confident. They'd always made a good team; she didn't see why in this it'd be different. “We'll just take one step at a time.”

He kissed her again, marveling at his ability to do so. “I like your way of thinking,” he said. “And I have to say, I'm pleasantly surprised at your speech. You thought it through, huh?”

“Well, of course I would. I may be opening my feelings when it matters; it doesn't mean I'll stop being me,” she answered, tucking her head in his neck while he rocked them a bit. He smelled so good. Like trust.

“I wouldn't want you to change. I like you just the way you are. But was it all your thinking?”

“Maybe,” she said, a little indignantly.

He laughed and took her hand, leading her to where her jacket laid. “Remind me to thank Angela for her part in this.”

She saw him take her jacket and hold it for her to put it on. “What are you doing?”

“If you don't go home right now I might not be able to stop myself from taking you to bed tonight, and I want to wait a bit,” he said as he tried to take her arm inside the piece of clothing.

“But I don't have a problem with the idea of going to bed tonight,” she replied trying to resist him. “I do have a problem with waiting, though. The way you just kissed me—”

He kissed her again, unable to stop himself, taking her by the nape of the neck. “Bones, stop. Put your jacket on and go home. Let me suffer a bit tonight wishing you were with me, and think about me being with you. Believe me, it'll be worth it.”

Fuming a little bit in sexual frustration, she finally took her jacket and put it on. “Ok, I will. Just because I'm willing to try new ways of maintaining a relationship.”

“I'll take you to your car,” he said while she kept talking, leading her out with a hand on the small of her back.

“Relationships have anthropological meaning,” she continued as if he hadn't said a thing. “And emotional meaning too. Now I can see it. Thus, it's only logical I accept the fact I might need to try things I've never tried before to make sure ours is successful. Because I assume we're in a relationship now, right?”

They reached her car, and he boxed her against it. Not pressing her against it, just not allowing her a way out.

“You bet.”

His proximity was alluring. She kissed him passionately. “You sure we want to wait?”

“Don't tempt me, Bones.”

“Ok, ok,” she said as she got in the car, opening the window to talk to him as he came closer to her. “And what now? What do we do now that we're together?”

“I think we've been together for long. I don't really think there'll be many things changing. But whatever it is, we'll solve it.”

“We will. Good night, Booth.”

He kissed her softly one more time. “Good night. See you tomorrow.”

He saw her drive away, reveling in the notion of how things had changed.

And already cursing himself for thinking waiting was a good idea.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Hee heeee

Only Booth could think that was a good idea!

I really, really hope you liked that. I know I enjoyed writing it. Definitely writing this kind of thing is what I like the most.

Wonder what can happen in the last chapter... *devilish grin*

Yay! A new chapter! And they talked things out! Booth, always being the good guy... but that's good though. I'm glad he didn't jump her right away. It shows he cares...