Mama Squint (Humour, Angst, Mystery!!!, K+)

Mama Squint
Part I

I thought this would be a really fun story! Try to figure out with Booth and the squint guys who's pregnant lol...

---June 2009---

After having a relaxing breakfast with Agent Maggie Schultz, a leggy brunette from the bureau, Booth swung by the Jeffersonian to talk to Brennan about a case involving a pregnant woman who had disappeared and reappeared at the bottom of a nearby inlet.

Spring was definitely in the air for the squints that year. When Booth entered the Medico-Legal lab, Booth was immediately met by Sweets and the squint-of-the-moment named Mary, a red-head with striking green eyes, in major lip-lock mode. Booth winced. "Jeez, I didn't even know you were old enough to kiss like that!" Booth grimaced as he moved pass the two.

He looked around for Brennan in vain, but he did find Hodgins and Angela making out on the couch in Bones' office. Booth cleared his throat, interrupting the two. Ever since Hodgins and Angela got back together in May, they needed the Jaws of Life to be separated. Booth had to clear his throat twice before. Angela rolled off from Hodgins.

"See Bones around?"

Hodgins wiped lipstick from his face, but the stupid grin remained. "Sorry, man. Haven't seen Dr. B."

Angela sat up. "She went out to breakfast with some guy named Dave. She said she'd be back by ten."

Booth shrugged. He was used to Brennan's crazy dating habits by now. Besides, he was dating Maggie. Or at least, he was having breakfast with her.

Booth hung around for an hour more with no sign of Bones. Eventually, he wound around to Cam's office. "Hey, Cam."

Cam looked up. Her eyes lit up at the sight of him. "Hey, Booth."

Booth grinned, his hands in his pockets. He walked over to the seat across from Cam's desk and sat down. "They're right, you know."

Cam looked confused and smiled, "What do they say, Seeley?"

"Call me Booth. They say all of that stuff about Springtime. Animals mating and stuff."

Cam's smile widened. "What are you talking about, Booth?"

"I walk in and what do I see first? Sweets and Mary attached at the face. Then I go into Bones' office and there's Hodgins and Ange. Are you dating anyone?"

Cam was taken by surprise by the question. "I'm sorry?"

"Are you--you know, dating?"

"That's really not a--"

"It's just a question, Cam. Friend to friend." Booth flashed his charm smile at Cam.

Cam's face relaxed. "Fine. Yes, I am."

Booth smiled. "I thought so. So who is he? Accountant? Historian? Librarian? Proctologist?"

"Proctologist?!" Cam laughed, then when she'd stopped she replied, "He's actually one of the Forensics professors at George Washington U."

"Yeah?"

"What about you, Seeley?"

"Booth," he corrected. "I'm kind of seeing an agent named Maggie, but I really try not to bring up my love life here."

"Dr. Brennan?"

"Hm?"

"You don't want her to find out?"

"No, no. It's nothing like that. I just like to keep work and home separate."

Cam shrugged. "I know what you mean."

Her eyes followed movement behind Booth's head. Booth turned to see Brennan with Dave. She moved forward and kissed him on the cheek. They exchanged a few words, then walked into the office. "Booth! Angela told me that you came by. How long have you been waiting?"

Booth looked at his watch, "Going on two hours now. It's almost time for lunch."

Brennan looked apologetic. "Sorry, Booth. Tell you what? I'll take you out to lunch."

Booth grinned.

Then came the horde.

Sweets and Mary, hand in hand, entered the office, followed by Angela and Hodgins, also hand in hand.

Booth stood up, as did Cam.

Angela spoke first, not wanting to keep up the tension, "I would like to take you all out to lunch. Well, Hodgins and I would. We've got an announcement."

She and Hodgins exchanged looks, before Hodgins spoke up. "We're getting married."

The countenances in the room ranged from surprised, to happy, to blank.

"So, where we goin'?" Booth asked.

"We were thinking either Thai or Indian." Hodgins answered.

Cam scrunched her face. "I'd prefer Thai. My stomach has been sensitive lately. I really can't do Indian."

"Mine, too. I vote Thai," Mary smiled broadly.

"OK! Thai it is!"

The large celebratory group left together.

Mama Squint
Part II

Sweets and Mary sat in the back of the booth. Brennan and Booth sat together. Cam had invited her boyfriend, Dr. Mason, a tall African American man with green-brown eyes. They sat next to Booth and Brennan. The glued-to-the-lips Hodgins and Angela sat across from Cam and Dr. Mason. The only ones missing were Maggie and Dave. Not that they were invited. Angela made sure of that. She had been trying to get Brennan and Booth in bed together since the year they became partners. So far, her efforts had been fruitless. She was beginning to think that they always would be.

Booth twisted noodles around his fork. "So, why the rush on the wedding?"

Angela shrugged. "I figure that two weeks is more than enough to plan for a small wedding. Not to mention," She and Hodgins exchanged amused glances. "Who knows what would happen if we waited any longer?"

Hodgins laughed, "Yeah, maybe you'll get pregnant and we'll have to put off the wedding six years. You know--We have one, then you decide to have your litter--Bam, Bam, Bam--Then you have to work off the weight--Yeah--"

Angela did not look amused.

"What?"

Cam raised her brows and looked at Hodgins. "I'm sorry, Hodgins, but that was really insensitive."

Angela looked furious by then, "Extremely insensitive. I am NOT going to have a LITTER!"

Booth looked at the furious group, then at Brennan to see her reaction. She did not seem at all side-tracked.

Angela looked at her best friend, "Help me out, sweetie."

All eyes went to Brennan. Her cheeks burned. "I'm sorry, Angela, but I think I have to agree with Hodgins here. When women become pregnant, they gain on average 20 to 35 pounds, 7% of that being fat--or adipose tissue--storage. I can only imagine that you would have to work off the weight. Perhaps you would postpone the wedding or prolong your engagement for the sake of getting your pre-baby figure back."

Angela looked mad. She looked at Booth. "Can you believe her?"

Booth shrugged. "Sorry, Ange. You know Bones"

Angela pushed back her seat angrily and ran to the bathroom on the verge of tears.

Cam jogged after her to comfort her.

Booth chuckled, "Hope you have a 3 story dog house, Hodgins."

Hodgins leaned forward and ran fingers through his hair. "She can be so moody sometimes."

Mary finally perked up. "You shouldn't say that women are moody. It's rude."

Hodgins looked disbelievingly at her.

Sweets spoke up, "Dude, all she's saying is that women prefer it if you avoid such adjectives as 'moody'--it often insinuates that they're having female issues, such as PMS."

"Learn that in Sex Ed, Sweets?" Booth couldn't help himself.

Brennan leaned over and slapped his shoulder. "Booth!

Mary pushed her plate back. "I'm sorry, Dr. Hodgins. I think mine is bad. It's making me sick."

Sweets rubbed her back in circular motions. "Need me to take you home?"

Mary shook her ruddy head, "No. I'm fine. It's just the food. I think I'll just drink some soda water to settle my stomach."

Mama Squint
Part III

Brennan leaned over the set of fetal remains and tried to piece together the pieces of a very small body.

Booth leaned over "Oof"

"What?" Brennan looked up to see Booth making a gassy face.

"Sorry, Bones. I think Mary was right about that food. I'm feeling a little sick here."

"Are you OK?"

"Yeah."

Brennan went back to her work. "It's just so sad."

"What's that, Bones?"

"Such a little person didn't even get a chance to live life outside of his mother's womb. Such a tragic way to die, too."

Booth leaned forward and laid a comforting hand on Brennan's shoulder.

She smiled at him. Her eyes were red, as if they were on the edge of tears. In a steady tone, she said, "Sorry, I shouldn't get so emotional. It's just harder when it's children."

"I know, Bones. I know."

Brennan tried to smile, but could only force out a partial smile. Booth pulled her into a hug. They held each other for a little while. Booth allowed himself to bury his nose in her hair. It smelled of floral perfume. His stomach did a little flip. He hardly ever got to hold her so close. It was nice when he did.

Booth's cell phone rang. He pulled out of the hug and answered the cell phone.

"Booth. Hey, Maggie."

Booth motioned so that he would take the call in Brennan's office. She watched as he left the platform, then went back to her business.

"Hi, Seeley."

"Hey."

"So, I was wondering if we could have dinner tonight?'

Booth thought about the dinner at the diner he'd promised Bones. "Sorry, Mags. Maybe tomorrow?"

"I'll look forward to it."

Booth smiled and hung up the phone. He put it into his pocket and went back to the platform, passing Sweets and Mary on the way. "Shouldn't you two get to work?"

Sweets un-attached himself from his girlfriend. "Sorry, dude. It's lunch break for me."

"You just had lunch."

"Yeah, well, I get two lunches today."

Booth shrugged. "I get it. Like snack time? Then afterward you get to take a nap and listen to a fairy tale. I get it."

Booth walked on and took two steps onto the platform. His stomach did a twist.

Brennan looked up. "Are you OK, Booth?"

Cam was standing beside her. "Are you sure? Should I call for the building nurse?"

Booth shook his head vehemently. "No, no. I'm fine."

Angela stood up. "You should probably go to the rest room. Hodgins felt pretty sick, too."

Booth's stomach did another contraction. "Yeah, I think I will."

Without another word, Booth ran to the Men's Bathroom. The door was locked, so he banged on it.

Hodgins answered from within, "Sorry, man! Oooooooooh!"

Booth scrunched his face, stood for a couple of seconds, then went for the Women's Bathroom. Thankfully it was empty. He locked the door and ran for the stall.

After completely defiling the porcelain potty, Booth zipped his pants up and walked over to the sink. He turned on the sink and ran his hands under it. Something long and white and about the size of a pencil or straw caught his attention. It was wider than either of those objects, otherwise he would have walked on. He picked it up and examined it.

It was a pregnancy test. One of the ones that says if you're "pregnant" or "not pregnant"--none of those crazy +s or -s to read. This particular one read, "Pregnant".

Booth's eyes grew wide when he realized what he'd discovered. He quickly dropped it in the trash, finished washing his hands, and left the bathroom in a hurry.

oho who is pregnant?
hmmm maybe Angela.....she reacted a little extremely......or Mary.....but I don't think it would be Bones......that wouldn't be right....she can't be pregnant from another man.....

... Interesting I am waitring to see the end of the story. My bet is on Angela or Brennan. But I can be wrong easily

Mama Squint
Part IV

Booth left and waited outside of the men's bathroom for Hodgins.

As soon as Hodgins emerged, Booth made the same face he made when he was at the Compost heap.

"Sorry, man. I had to go!"

Booth shook his head, "Hey, I hate to blow the whistle on... who may be you, but you wouldn't believe what I just found."

"What? And why are you whispering?" Hodgins crossed his arms over his chest.

Booth sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "A pregnancy test... in the ladies room."

Hodgins shrugged. "So?"

"So! It said that whoever took that test is pregnant!"

Sweets had overheard the end of that discussion, "What?"

Both Hodgins and Booth looked over at him. Sweets looked pale.

"You OK, Sweets?"

"Y--Yeah, I just need to take a--take a seat--That's all." Sweets sat right on the ground.

Hodgins just laughed at him.

Booth looked at Hodgins. "Why aren't you freaked out?"

"Dude, we use protection."

"You realize that that's only 97% effective, right?"

Hodgins' eyes widened. "Dude." His knees buckled and he sat on the ground.

Booth sat beside the two men. "Wow."

"I know, right? It's like totally... So who's pregnant?" Sweets asked.

"Beats the hell outta me," Booth replied.

"So, you're saying that it could be Angie?" Hodgins sounded out of breath. All of the blood seemed to have washed from his face.

"Yeah. That's how I got Parker, y'know? That stuff's not a hundred percent."

"Yeah, yeah. I paid attention in health class. Only abstinence is a hundred percent."

Booth grinned at Sweets, "Good to know, Sweets."

"What? No teenager jokes, Agent Booth? I thought that would've merited one or two."

Booth shook his head. "Not the time, buddy. Not the time."

"S-So, I think we should you know, try to find out who's pregnant. You know, without upsetting--Because Angie's been on the edge lately," Hodgins said weakly.

"Well, so has Mary," Sweets spoke up.

"It could be Cam, you know," Booth suggested. "She's been dating that Dr. Mason for quite a while, you know."

"And we all know where babies come from," Sweets said. Hodgins and Booth both looked at him. "I know, I know. Let 'em rip, guys."

"You should enlighten us, Sweets."

"Storks. They come from storks. We all know that."

The men all began laughing. Then they all became quiet.

"What about Dr. Brennan? Isn't she dating someone?"

Booth shrugged. He looked a little annoyed. "Yeah, some guy named Dave, but she hasn't slept with him."

Hodgins looked curiously at him.

"She announces her sexual encounters to me. I--I just know that they haven't had... I just know, OK? It can't be Bones."

"You know, Agent Booth, hostility often undermines our deepest fears and--"

"I get it, Sweets. Don't you think you could psychoanalyze me some other time?"

"Yeah. I think we've got bigger fish to fry," Hodgins agreed.

The three men stood and dispersed with a plan to interview all four women and meet back at the end of the day.

Mama Squint
Part V

"Hey, Angie." Hodgins found his fiance sitting in front of the computer, reconstructing the infant's skull.

She looked up and smiled. "Hi, sweetie."

Hodgins walked over and the two embraced one another. Hodgins pulled back just enough to kiss her. He put his hand gently behind her head and pulled her in for a deeper kiss.

She moaned and pulled away with a wide smile. "What was that for?"

"Mmm... Nothing. Hey, I just wanted to apologize for earlier."

"No," she shook her head vehemently. "Don't be sorry. You were just being honest. I think you're right. If I were to get pregnant, I would want to postpone the wedding or make it much sooner so that I didn't have to look like the Pillsbury Dough Boy in my wedding photos."

The two laughed. Hodgins began to feel a little more comfortable that he was not the 'baby daddy' when he heard that comment. At the same time, he was concerned that she still wanted the wedding in two weeks. She had insisted that it be as soon as possible. Was this the reason?

Maybe he should just ask her outright. Maybe she would take it personally--as if he were making a comment about her weight or her short temper lately?

As they kissed, Hodgins weighed whether or not he should ask her if he was going to be a father....

Mama Squint
Part VI

Sweets found Mary 'squinting' at the victim's skull under a huge magnifying glass. With his hands in his pockets, he approached her nervously. Sure, with an innumerable amount of doctorates under his belt, he could be a suitable father. And with his new job as an FBI profiler, he could afford to be a daddy financially. Still--At 24, he felt too young to become a father.

If only he and Mary hadn't had that one romp in the back seat of her car--sans protection. That's why he was so frightened. Two weeks ago, he got a little too excited. The last time he had had sex was when he was dating that curly-haired brunette--what was her name? Doesn't matter. He was in love with Mary with her auburn hair and green eyes--If he was going to be a daddy, then he was going to do this right.

He would just ask her.

Or maybe not.

Maybe he should use his powers of psychiatry to wriggle the truth out of her?

"Hey, Mary."

Mary looked up and smiled. She was very pretty with a sprinkling of freckles across her alabaster nose. "Hi, Lance."

Sweets grinned, "How have you been feeling?"

"I'm OK. That Thai food was pretty--Yeah. I'm totally OK now, though. Once I spent some time in the--TMI!--bathroom." She laughed lightly.

Sweets knelt down at her knee. "Look, I, uh... I should probably ask you something... And it totally has nothing to do with your disposition or your physical appearance..."

Mary's eyebrows scrunched with concern. "What is it, Lance?"

Sweets held his breath and weighed in that second if he should just ask her, or if he should be more subtle....

Mama Squint
Part VII

Booth took several steps towards Bones, his partner. Should he ask her first? Should he interview her? She would know what he was up to within the first few seconds. Would she be mad at him? Bones always told him she didn't want children.

Booth turned and went straight for Cam's office. He would ask Camille first. She would be much easier to interview. In the meantime, he would think about what to ask Bones. Why was he so nervous about asking Bones? Booth shook his head, shook the worries from his head. If Bones was pregnant, then yes, he would be thrilled, but why didn't she tell him anything? Were they not as close as he thought? She was constantly pulling him close, then pushing him away. It was beginning to become frustrating.

Booth entered Cam's office.

Camille looked up and grinned. "Twice in one day, Seeley? I'm beginning to feel spoiled."

Booth grinned and sat across from Cam. "So..."

Cam's eyebrow raised, "So... what? What do you want, Seeley? I know that look."

They narrowed their eyes at one another for several seconds.

Booth leaned back and cleared his throat. He put interlaced fingers behind his head. "So... tell me about Mason."

"Dr. Mason?"

"Yeah..."

"What do you really want, Booth?"

"Nothing. I swear. Just wanting to get to know a little something about an old friend, that's all."

Cam shrugged. She knew better. She knew that Booth was up to something. "What is it, Booth?"

"Look, Cam... I, uh...." He swallowed hard. "I'm just-- How long have you and Mason been dating?"

"A couple of weeks."

Booth nodded. That didn't necessarily rule her out. That is, if he was paying attention in health class, himself. "So, uh, I have a question for you..."

Booth didn't know quite what he should ask... should he ask her if they had had sex? That might be too forthright. Perhaps he should ask if she thinks he's the one? If they were serious? Nothing was direct enough. Nothing except for the direct question.

Mama Squint
Part VIII

Hodgins looked into Angie's eyes.

"What?" She muttered, then moved in for more kisses.

Hodgins pushed her away gently, "Look, Ange, I need to ask you something serious..."

"What?"

Hodgins swallowed, then held his breath, "I was wondering if we should start a family right away." That's right, Jack, just try to back her into a corner. Make her confess. Maybe if I tell her that I want children right away, she'll 'surprise me' and we'll both win... she'll tell the truth, and I'll get to look overjoyed to be a dad. Yeah... that'll work. With the exception of the fact that I'm totally freaked out.

Angela looked shocked, "What?"

"Kids, you know... little humans?" He grinned. "I think..." Here we go... "I think we should start right away. Start early. I want... I want to be a dad. ASAP."

"What?"

Oh, crap... this is all wrong! "Look, Angie... I was just--I was wondering... You know..."

"You think I'm pregnant, don't you?"

Hodgins raised his clear blue eyes to meet her smoldering black ones. "Look, Ange--"

Angela was beginning to look really irritated. And upset. She put her hands on her hips. "Is it enough that you think I'm fat? That's it, isn't it? The conversation at the restaurant? You think I'm getting fat, so you automatically think I'm pregnant?"

Angela threw her arms in the air angrily and stormed out of the office, leaving Hodgins completely confused.

Mama Squint
Part IX

Brennan looked up from her work, besides the fact that her back was killing her from leaning over all day, she felt fine. She scanned the Medico-Legal lab. There were no signs of life.

Taking off her gloves, she exited the platform. She was immediately passed by a very angry best friend.

"Hodgins is an ass!" Angela kept marching past her.

Brennan shrugged. Oh, great. Trouble in paradise, as Booth would say. She went into her office and sat. Where in the world is Booth? She shrugged and opened up a Word document containing the most recent portion of her novel.

Mama Squint
Part X

"Are you interrogating me, Agent Booth?" Cam crossed her arms over her chest and sat back, slightly amused.

Booth sat forward and adjusted his tie, "Yeah, you know... I wanna make sure my friend is dating a good guy."

"He's a great guy, Booth."

"Yeah, but does he respect you?" Booth finally realized what angle he wanted to pursue.

"Sure he does, Booth."

Booth fiddled with the tie. It was red, white, and blue with little stripes and stars decorating it. "So, does he open the door for you?"

"The few times we've gone out to dinner, yes he has." Cam smiled with a raised brow. What is Seeley up to?

"Does he... respect your... you know? Your concerns."

"My concerns?"

"Yeah, Cam. You know, like if you ask him to stop kissing you..."

"I've never asked him to--"

"What about you know?" Booth made a strange face that suggested exactly what he was getting at.

"Sex?"

"Yeah, Cam. S--Making love."

"You're asking me about my sex life? What is this really about, Booth?"

Booth leaned forward on the desk, looked around to make sure nobody was listening in. Cam leaned in, too. Mostly to be sarcastic, but Booth was glad she was.

"I... I found a pregnancy test."

Cam said nothing, but her expression told him to go on.

"It said 'pregnant' on it."

Cam's expression was unchanged.

"I found it here. In the Jeffersonian."

Still no change.

"In the Medico-Legal lab."

"Woah." Cam's obsidian eyes became larger.

"Yeah, woah!"

"That's huge!"

"Yeah, huge."

"So... wait a second. You're asking if it's me? If I'm--?" Cam began laughing hysterically.

After about a full two minutes, the laughter finally died and she wiped a tear from her eyes. "There are two holes in your logic, Seeley. Number one, Dr. Mason and I haven't had sex, and the last time was last October, not that you need to know that. And number two, I do not want kids."

"That doesn't mean that... We all know where babies come from, Cam."

"Yeah, I think I heard Dr. High School saying something about storks."

Booth laughed, "I heard that same speech just today."

Cam became serious. "So... who do you think is pregnant?"

Booth shrugged. "One down, three to go. It's either Mary, Ange, or--" Booth audibly sighed-- "Bones."

"Well, I doubt it's Dr. Brennan. I'd put my money on Angela, though."

"I bet you're right."

Mama Squint
Part XI

Sweets leaned forward and kissed Mary. Then, he pulled back gently.

"What is it, Lance? You can tell me anything."

Sweets sighed. "When I was nine, I was convinced that there was an Easter Bunny. But only because my parents still told me there was one. I'd already figured out the whole Santa Claus idea... I mean, a flying man? Come on! But a talking rabbit... That's a whole 'nother matter. Anyhoo, so my mom lied to me, right? She told me a lie, so I continued to believe in something that did not exist. See where I'm going with this?"

Mary raised an eye brow. "Dr. Brennan would make a comment about you lacking the ability to tell between reality and fiction."

"Dr. Brennan would make a valid point, then. What I'm saying is... it's important for us to be honest and open with one another. It helps that I'm a professional, too. I'm used to the brutal truth, whether it be... say, that you're secretly an eight foot cyclops who is trying to overtake the world, or.... say... something as little as... you're pregnant."

Mary was silent for several seconds, waiting for Lance to continue.

"Because... you might be... pregnant." Lance tried again.

Mary remained unaffected. Then she said, "Oh! You mean me? You--Are you asking me if I'm pregnant? Is this what this is all about?"

Lance sighed and nodded. "Yeah... remember that night in the--"

"The car?"

"Yeah... because it was--"

--"HOT!"
--"HOT!"

Sweets laughed. "Yeah... it was... but we... we probably shouldn't have done that."

"Oh, is it because your mother is a lot like mine? No sex before marriage? She's gonna be pissed, huh? Mine sure is. When I told her I was on birth control--"

"Wait. You're on birth control?"

"Yeah. Orotho Evra. It's great for my skin. Without it I'm a total pizza face."

Sweets sighed heavily. "So... you're not--"

"Pregnant? Heck, no!"

"Sweet.... cuz, I was totally freaked out there for a little bit." He met her eyes. "Not that I wouldn't be happy, cuz I would be, but I was just like, woah! And I totally wasn't ready, but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't be a good husband or father or--"

Mary put two fingers over Sweets' lips. "Stop. It's OK. I'd be freaked out, too."

Sweets smiled and drew her in for a kiss. "You are the awesome-est girlfriend ever!"

Mama Squint
Part XII

Booth and Cam found Hodgins sulking in the upstairs meeting area.

"Ange got mad at you, didn't she?"

Hodgins sighed and sat back. "Dude, she got pissed."

Cam crossed her arms and sat beside Hodgins. "You asked her if she was pregnant, didn't you?"

Hodgins up curiously at Booth. "I'm an idiot, too."

"He asked me if I was pregnant."

"Are you?" Hodgins asked.

"Not on your life. No way. But I bet I know what happened with Angela. You went and asked her outright if she was pregnant. She thought you were making a comment about her weight and she got mad."

"That's a pretty good summation." Hodgins looked up at Booth. "Have you talked to Dr. B?"

Booth shook his head as he heard Sweets and Mary walking up the stairs. "Not yet... I don't---I can't."

"Sure you can."

Sweets entered the semi-circle. "So!"

Everyone looked hopefully to Sweets, whose voice was jubilant.

"No, no, no guys. It's not Mary."

"I'm not pregnant. No way, no how." Mary shook her head.

"So... it's not Cam and it's not Mary..." Booth leaned forward in his seat.

"So... it's either Angela or Dr. Brennan. Dude... you guys have gotta be bummed." Sweets began to laugh nervously until he caught angry looks from both Booth and Hodgins. "Sorry, guys."

"What if I talked to Dr. Brennan for you, Booth? I know you're probably not looking forward--"

Booth shook his head. "No, Cam. This is mine. I mean, I'll do it. I'll talk to her."

"And I'll go find Angela. If I can even find her, that is...." Hodgins stood up and together, he and Booth walked down the stairs.

Mama Squint
Part XIII

Brennan dropped her work to go find Angela.

She found her in the Egyptian Exhibit sitting on the replica of Cleopatra's bed. Brennan walked nervously up to her. Why was she so upset?

"May I?"

Angela looked up and wiped tears from her eyes. She patted the bed beside her.

Bren took the seat. "What's wrong? Are you and Hodgins fighting? I'm not really good at the girl-talk thing, but I don't mind if you unload on me. I'm a good listener, if nothing more."

Angela smiled. "Hodgins is just an ass. A huge ass. A huge horse's ass. A huge, stinky, smelly, horse's ass."

Brennan let Angela lay her head on her shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"He went and asked me if I was pregnant. Of all things! After those comments at the restaurant... I just feel... I can't believe he'd ask such a stupid thing. He can be such a big... I just... Argh! I just can't believe he'd say that. Do I look fat, sweetie?"

Brennan laughed. "No way, Ange. In fact, you should go to the diner with me and Booth some time. They have excellent shakes and french fries."

Angela looked up at her friend, raising her head from her shoulder. "I think I'll take that advice some time. I've been craving french fries for weeks now."

"Me, too. Booth is taking me to the diner tonight. Maybe you can come along and we can split a plate?"

"Deal."

Brennan and Angela sat quietly for a little while. "So... are you? Pregnant?"

"Well--" She was interrupted by the sound of Booth and Hodgins entering the room. Cam, Sweets, and Mary had tagged along on the hunt. It had taken over a half an hour to find the two. The Jeffersonian was a huge place to get lost in.

Mama Squint
Part XIV

Brennan and Angela watched as the group came into the room. Hodgins looked white as a ghost. Booth looked just as worried, but he seemed much more calm than Hodgins.

Angela stood up as they walked in. Brennan did the same.

"Hey, Ange..." Hodgins pushed his hands into his pockets nervously. "Look, I think we need to talk."

Angela looked around. "With everyone here?"

"Yeah, well, I think we all deserve an explanation."

"For what?"

Booth cleared his throat so he could take the stage. Hodgins was glad to let him take the lead. "Look, I found a pregnancy test this morning...."

Brennan took a seat.

"It said it was positive."

"What?" Angela sounded surprised. "I can't believe it! You'd snoop in somebody else's privacy? What if this somebody didn't want anybody else to know she was pregnant? Maybe it's a security guard or one of Bren's grad students?"

Booth was beginning to feel uncomfortable.

"Angie, I'm sorry... I think that Booth here didn't mean any harm, I guess we all just freaked out a bit."

"And what's with the inquisition here? What if it's Mary or Cam? It doesn't have to be me or Bren!" She nervously searched each of their faces.

"I'm not pregnant. Nowhere near pregnant." Mary said as she tucked a scarlet strand behind each ear.

"And if I were pregnant, I'd be the Holy Mother," Cam replied.

"So... it's got to be one of you. And we know it can't be Dr. Brennan."

"Why not?" Brennan asked.

All eyes flew to her. Booth felt sick, but there was no Thai food to blame for his churning stomach. "Bones, just-- Maybe we should talk about this later?"

"No. I want to talk about this now. Why can't I be pregnant?"

"Sweetie, you don't--" Angela cut in.

"Dr. Brennan, we all know you don't want children." Cam said.

"And Agent Booth said you haven't had a sexual relationship with Dave, so--" Sweets added.

"We all know where babies come from, Dr. Sweets and as it turns out, I've been doing plenty of that."

Booth's cheeks burned.

Angela saw the burning. "What's going on here? Booth, you said Bren shared everything with you. Why haven't you been telling him everything, Bren? Are you mad at him?"

"It's nothing like that."

Booth took several steps forward and held out his hand for Brennan to take. She stared at it blankly for a moment. Everyone watched, trying to read the expressions. Was Booth mad at Brennan for lying? Brennan took a deep breath and laid her hand in Booth's. Booth stood her beside him. His face was unreadable.

"What's going on here, sweetie?"

"Dr. Brennan, are you--?" Cam cut in.

All eyes watched Dr. Brennan. Her face was still stoic.

Booth turned her face toward him with one finger. "It's true, isn't it?"

"I'm sorry, Booth."

"Sorry for what?"

"I should have told you sooner."

"Bones, you can tell me anything. You know that you're my partner. It's what I'm here for."

"Sweetie, are you pregnant?"

Mama Squint
XV

"Wow. I totally didn't see this coming," Sweets said.

"That's my line." Cam said.

"Right."

"I didn't see this one coming." Cam said.

"I thought you and Agent Booth shared everything. I don't understand why you resorted to deception. I'm sure he would have understood."

Booth held up a hand. "I knew. Not about the pregnancy, but I knew about... I knew about Bones and..."

"The other guy?"

Brennan looked up. "Sweets, Booth is the other guy."

All mouthes dropped to the ground.

"Excuse me?" Angela's eyes were huge.

"Here I was, and I thought my fiance was pregnant!" Hodgins was still shocked.

Angela put her hands on her hips. "What do you mean by that?"

"Well, you've been so moody--"

"I'm on the rag, Jack. And if you say another word about it, I'll do something violent."

"Excuse me, we have an issue at hand that we must get to the bottom of." Cam held up a halting hand. "Dr. Brennan, Booth?"

"Bren, what did you mean by Booth being the other man? I thought you two were just-- And what about Maggie and Dave?"

"I've never slept with Dave," Bones said.

"And I've never slept with Maggie. She's just a friend. You know, Bones, no matter how many women I try to see to get my mind off from you, it never works. I always picture you. I dream about you. It's always you."

"What?" Brennan could feel her knees begin to buckle.

"Don't you feel the same?"

"Well, I--"

"You're always dating these guys... Is it because of me? We're always ending up together, but--"

"Hold it!" Angela said, "What do you mean by always? How long has this been going on?"

"That's a vague question with a vague answer." Brennan replied.

"It's kind of hard to pin-point--"

"Well, it's pretty easy to me. Most memorable to me is Vegas--"

"Vegas?" Cam was shocked. Wait a second, she wasn't. She remembered that phone call. "That's hot!" "Vegas is hot." Whatever.

"After Zack was arrested." Booth said thoughtfully.

"I required physical comfort."

"After the Gravedigger got you--"

"The first time or the second?" Angela asked, shocked.

"Both."

"After Sully sailed away without you."

"Same situation as after Zack was arrested. I needed physical comfort. There's nothing wrong with that." Brennan seemed very matter-of-fact. Everyone else in the room was completely taken aback by the information. Angela was beginning to feel like she was living in backwards world.

Booth grinned wide with a new memory. "Mac N Cheese!"

"What?" Angela asked.

Brennan blushed. "I invited him over for Mac N Cheese--"

"And dessert, apparently!"

"After the wedding that never happened." Booth was beginning to enjoy this game. Everyone else in the room took seats as they overheard the tale.

"What about after you explained the difference between sex and making love?"

"That was a good night." Brennan smiled at Booth. They shared a moment.

"And morning."

"And afternoon."

"And after you shot the clown--"

"The first one or the second one?"

"The second one. I was referring to that Halloween."

"You made a pretty sexy Wonder Woman."

"Apparently. You couldn't get my costume off fast enough!"

"And Brainy Smurf."

"You just wanted to charm me."

"It worked."

"Yes, it did."

"And you were pretty cute after Caroline wrangled us into kissing."

"I'm still sorry for that. That was nothing like kissing my brother."

"Hopefully you would never do that to your brother... or do what we did that afternoon on your couch."

Angela coughed.

Booth took a step towards Bones. "And after Andy. You were pretty cute with that diaper bag. I think you'll make a good mom, Bones."

Brennan smiled at him as he slid a finger under her chin, tilting it up slightly so he could kiss her.

"And London."

"And London."

Booth placed a hand behind her head and drew her closer, deeper, then he dipped her low and kissed some more.

"Excuse me!" Angela stepped forward, waving hands.

Booth grinned at her and let Brennan stand again.

"What's with you guys dating other people?"

Booth looked hurt and Brennan saw it. "Look, I'm sorry--" She took an uncomfortable step aside.

"Bones, it's OK."

"It's frightening, alright? To have a monogamous relationship-- And Booth understands that. I think, though, that I've been--" She and Booth met eyes, an unspoken communication ran between them. "I've been running, Booth."

"I know that. Am I crazy for not caring, though?"

"Yeah."

Booth reached out for her hand. "Look, Bones. You're a complicated woman. You're also the reason I wake up in the morning. That's why I put up with it. All of this. All of this craziness. I do it because... I've said it once before, Bones, and you blew me off, but I'll say it again-- I love you. I'll have you any way I can."

Brennan looked at the floor. "You deserve more than that, Booth. You deserve better than an emotionally and socially stunted orphan."

"Is that why you do this? Is that why I do this? Why we do this?"

Bones looked into his eyes. Her own eyes were moist, but no other evidence of emotion was on her face. "I think so."

"Bones," he stepped forward and held her close. He let one hand fall to her stomach. "You are perfect, Bones. Perfect for me. Nobody in this world is faultless. I've got my own issues. You are far from being emotionally or socially stunted. You've grown so much in these last four years. Every day I'm around you, I'm amazed. I'm amazed by you." He and Bones let their foreheads fall together. Booth drew in a breath as she let him hold her and touch her abdomen. "And as for the orphan comment. You can't be an orphan when you've got a family--a family like you. Like me. Like this little guy in here. Like these guys--" He motioned to the crowd in the room. Angela and Cam looked as if they were going to cry. Sweets and Mary were hugging one another. Hodgins looked uncomfortable. "We're your family, Bones. You don't have to run any more."

Finally, Brennan let a tear fall. In a steady voice, she replied, "You--You love me? Although I'm such a stubborn, difficult, bull-headed person?"

"I love every minute of it. Call me crazy."

"You're crazy, Booth."

"Crazy for you." Booth sighed and kissed her again. "How many times do we have to fall together before we get the message?"

"What message?"

"That... we're meant to be together?"

"I don't know, Booth."

"I'll tell you. This is the last time. Because I know who my soul mate is."

"I don't believe in soul mates, Booth."

"You don't believe in the title, but I think you believe in the concept."

Bones let a smile fall on her lips. "Fine. You're right, Booth."

"I know I am. I always am."

"A-hem," Sweets cut them off.

Booth and Brennan looked their way.

"Maybe we should leave you two alone?"

Booth grinned mischievously and swept Bones off from her feet. "Maybe you all should? Now that you know our dirty little secret."

Booth laid her on the bed and crawled on top of her, kissing her as he went. "Booth, I don't think--"

"No security cameras, Bones. Just go with it."

Everyone shuffled out of the room. They could hear Angela mutter, "I knew that 'just partners' thing was just a line of crap."

Cam huffed, "Tell me about it."

"It doesn't take a genius," Sweets added.

Cam and Angela rolled their eyes at him. Mary smacked his shoulder.

Booth and Bones... they got to know one another.

Muhhahaa Loving it Funny and awesome thing

Yeah I thought it would be funny if they'd been together all along, we just didn't know it lol.

here I was worried that she might be pregnant with another man's baby.......and they are together for who knows how long.....I can't believe that......

LOL I'm glad you were surprised by me!

Mama, that was great. I love the falling together (repeatly) thing. Your stories are always good!

Aw I'm flattered! Thank you very much!

OMG...*runs around room screaming and jumping up and down* Mama, that was awesome!!!

I went from..OMG Sweets..to OMG Ang & Hodgins...to OMG Cam..and then Oh no she ain't having a baby by another man besides BOOTH!!!!

I loved it!!!!

Muah..kisses for you...(in a non lesbian manner, of course)

ok...gotta breathe now..haha..

I just wrote a song fic..you should check it out..

once more..

this WAS GrEaT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!