Without Her...em...K+/mild T...definite angst -- posted by Kiki [30/09/2007]

Posted 30/09/2007 00:49:53 (29/09/2007 03:49:53 PM) kiki

Ok, this is my first attempt at poetry writing. Have to warn peeps, there's a character death. So if that isn't your thing, don't read.

Ok, this basically came out after I rewatched the Gravedigger episode and I wondered what would have happened if Booth hadn't got to Brennan in time...

This is for grandma. Coz I just found out I really upset her with it. Sorry grandma! Love you!
******************
Booth's POV
******************
Numb, exhausted, broken and cold,
Just sitting here waiting, waiting for relief to take hold.

I can’t believe you’re gone, it seems like only yesterday…
But no, I mustn’t dwell on that, for madness lies that way.

Oh, how many times I had to tell you of how I really feel,
My wildest fantasies and desires; you made them all so real.

I love you, oh, so ardently and you can only guess
How much you filled my life and world with joy and happiness.

I never took the chance to kiss your soft, full lips,
Nor feel you push against me, the movement of your hips…

But perhaps it’s better this way, our love forever pure,
The way you used to look at me, you shared my thoughts I’m sure.

If my tears could cry a river that would lead me straight to you,
I wouldn’t stop, my Bones, until I’d found my love so true.

The moonlight casts dark shadows all around the place,
Why is there light, why is there life, without your smiling face?

It doesn’t take a special moment for me to think of you,
Each time I cry, each time I breathe, my thoughts are all with you.

You’d speak of bones and bodies, of things I will never understand,
I’d tease and ridicule you, but you always gained the upper hand.

The air used to crackle between us: we should have pursued it, whatever the cost,
And whenever you used to look at me…from that first moment I was lost.

I want to scream across the heavens, “What does it matter now, she’s gone?”
My heart is torn with sadness, my lifetime seems too long.

I know in the depths of my soul that we will not always be apart,
That I should store and bless the memories I guard within my heart.

But you were my life, my love, my saviour and my friend,
Without you here beside me, I fear my torment can never end.

If only I could return to the days we had together,
But our union has been severed, it feels as though forever.

The squints know that I am suffering, the extent of which they cannot trace,
For I’ve hidden my crushed and broken heart beneath my neutral face.

I should have told you so many times, how I’ve loved you every day,
But I’ll never be given the chance, for you’ve gone so far away.

I feel like I am drowning in my pain, my hurt, my all-consuming sorrow,
Why did you have to leave me and go to a place where I cannot follow?

But now, at last and forever my darling, you’re away from pain, you’re free,
I’ll never now be able to tell you, Temperance: you are the best of me.

***************
Brennan's POV
***************
It seems there is a Heaven, in spite of all I said,
You were always certain of where people go once dead.

But this paradise is nothing but agony for me,
It never could be anything else; it’s apart from you, you see.

I wish I could put back the clock, o’erturn the sands of time,
To press my lips, just once, against yours and feel as though you’re mine.

There are so many things I should have said, so many feelings to convey,
Instead I just stood silently, loving you each and every day.

But what use is intact pride now when all is done and said,
You never heard me say those words, I’ve left you so misled.

I wish I could see you just once more, give you one last and final look,
I think, in spite of everything, you knew; you always read me like a book.

Underneath the countless fights, the useless, frivolous bickering,
Unwavering respect shone in our eyes, hidden but ever flickering.

Thank you for finding my body, rescuing me from that dreadful place,
Your unending, shining river of tears wiped the layer of grime from my face.

And yet you whispered, “You’re beautiful,” in spite of all the dirt,
How I wish I could relieve your pain, remove your sorrow and hurt.

Your words at the funeral were lovely, how you wanted me to come back,
My heart, indeed, was torn anew once your voice began to crack.

I hate that I will not be there to see your son grow up, so strong,
If he’s anything like his father, he never can go wrong.

You visit me each and every day, stumbling through your tears,
Your whispered words they float straight up and reach my tortured ears.

My life and love surround you, it is my saving grace,
But I can see you do not know that when I look at your tear-streaked face.

It’s agony to hear you cry my name, never knowing I am so near,
If only you could stop awhile: you’d hear my voice so clear.

I never once will leave you, I am ever present within your heart,
Then you can gain some strength from me when you mourn that we’re apart.

I will never ever forget you, always know that my dear Seeley,
And when you call, I will come to wherever it is you need me.

I am so sorry that I had to leave, that we cannot spend our lives together,
But take courage when I tell you, it is not always and forever.

I will dedicate my time to watching you, guiding you on your way,
And somehow I will show you all the things I could not say.

Finally, when the time comes for you to follow me, alone,
I’ll take you in my arms, my love, where you belong: your home.

Posted 30/09/2007 00:59:44 (29/09/2007 03:59:44 PM) flyersfan35

Oh, kiki, that was just....and I'm crying again....but it's so good, please don't feel bad, it just means that I love this so much....it truly is the best thing I've ever read, I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

Simply incredible, heartbreakingly beautiful!!!

Posted 30/09/2007 01:15:33 (29/09/2007 04:15:33 PM) A2BOREANAZ

wow kiki........first of all.......thanks for making me bawl like a freakin baby........second........that was the most beautiful piece i have read......

emotional.....devastating..........

but on so good

thanks for posting

a2b

Posted 30/09/2007 01:39:02 (29/09/2007 04:39:02 PM) polygirl

kiki that was great heartbreaking but great all the same

Posted 30/09/2007 02:43:08 (29/09/2007 05:43:08 PM) beaglelvr93

I am literally crying. That was so beautiful. It made me think of my mom. God, I miss her. I know she's looking down on me just like Bones is looking down on Booth.

That was heartwreching..... so sad....

Posted 30/09/2007 09:43:43 (30/09/2007 00:43:43 AM) DBAngelfan

wow very nice So well written...

I know this was posted a LONG time ago, but I just had to say how good it is! It's very well done...and so sad! But I loved it!

that was great! loved it!

At least you gave me a warning! I was already crying anyway from Fly's story. And now the whole front of my shirt is dripping wet. Squirt, that was great. I can't believe it was your first poetry though.

Just tonight I was looking through some of the special features, the one where Booth is talking to Brennan about visiting her mother's grave, and she says
"They . can't . hear . you . . . they're . dead." I'm so glad that Booth kept going to talk to her!

This was beautiful kiki, truly beautiful..

That was really powerful.