Re: The Venting Thread

[Nightowl]

I can't vent this anywhere else, so sorry folks, you get it here.
There is a battle brewing in my family, where I am so absolutely in the middle it pains me. My heart is sure, but my brain is being pulled and manipulated so much I want to scream. I can't make everyone happy in this case, and the one I will make happy with absolute certainty, doesn't deserve the guilt she will feel when it goes down. I've been avoiding the inevitable, but the time for battle approaches.
Damn.

I've been in your shoes. Not knowing the exact situation, but here is what I have formulated in the past year or so for me, because it sounds like you might be feeling a sense of guilt over your decision you have to make too.
I have found that guilt is my biggest carryon bag of life. And there were a couple of days that I took for myself and sat down and said why do I feel this way. Why so much guilt. I was trying to please everyone in my immediate family, sometimes not getting a good return of my efforts, but feeling enormous guilt on my part. I figured out I couldn't be everything to everyone. I stepped back and decided I will love them all, but I will be everything for me. Then one day I watched "up in the air" with George Clooney and I thought, you know, that's what I am doing now. I am taking things out of my big ass carryon in life (his backpack) and making my load lighter.
I am now pleasing me instead of everyone else. I took a vacation to visit a friend in Florida and didn't feel a bit of guilt that I should have gone to see a family member.
My biggest step has been to sell off or give away more and more of my late mother's items that I have no need for, but have kept some 10 years after her death. Kept them out of guilt that somehow she would be mad at me for disposing of them. I can't burden that any longer. Love and guilt should never go hand in hand. But unfortunately a great deal of time they do. Everyday my carryon gets lighter. Hopefully you will find that with your situation and your friend or family member that you are sticking up for or giving guidance too. People who really love us know that decisions we make out of love are always for the best.
Good luck.

Thank you.

[G]

I can't vent this anywhere else, so sorry folks, you get it here.
There is a battle brewing in my family, where I am so absolutely in the middle it pains me. My heart is sure, but my brain is being pulled and manipulated so much I want to scream. I can't make everyone happy in this case, and the one I will make happy with absolute certainty, doesn't deserve the guilt she will feel when it goes down. I've been avoiding the inevitable, but the time for battle approaches.
Damn.

I've been in your shoes. Not knowing the exact situation, but here is what I have formulated in the past year or so for me, because it sounds like you might be feeling a sense of guilt over your decision you have to make too.
I have found that guilt is my biggest carryon bag of life. And there were a couple of days that I took for myself and sat down and said why do I feel this way. Why so much guilt. I was trying to please everyone in my immediate family, sometimes not getting a good return of my efforts, but feeling enormous guilt on my part. I figured out I couldn't be everything to everyone. I stepped back and decided I will love them all, but I will be everything for me. Then one day I watched "up in the air" with George Clooney and I thought, you know, that's what I am doing now. I am taking things out of my big ass carryon in life (his backpack) and making my load lighter.
I am now pleasing me instead of everyone else. I took a vacation to visit a friend in Florida and didn't feel a bit of guilt that I should have gone to see a family member.
My biggest step has been to sell off or give away more and more of my late mother's items that I have no need for, but have kept some 10 years after her death. Kept them out of guilt that somehow she would be mad at me for disposing of them. I can't burden that any longer. Love and guilt should never go hand in hand. But unfortunately a great deal of time they do. Everyday my carryon gets lighter. Hopefully you will find that with your situation and your friend or family member that you are sticking up for or giving guidance too. People who really love us know that decisions we make out of love are always for the best.
Good luck.

Thank you.

^^ What she said.

[howie]

So tired of being made to feel guilty and be the bad guy.

[i_heart_bones]

How can a weedy douchebag manage to make people feel so small?!

[katharine]

How can a weedy douchebag manage to make people feel so small?!

That is what douchebag's do best........LOL.

[A2BOREANAZ]

So tired of being made to feel guilty and be the bad guy.

then dont feel guilty or feel like the bad guy.....its up to you how you feel..........

[howie]

So tired of being made to feel guilty and be the bad guy.

then dont feel guilty or feel like the bad guy.....its up to you how you feel..........

This I know..but in this case it's hard, I am trying. Thank you though.

[i_heart_bones]

How can a weedy douchebag manage to make people feel so small?!

That is what douchebag's do best........LOL.

Yep I'd agree with you there!!

[i_heart_bones]

Another shit leader for our country....

[bones_fanatic19]

Another shit leader for our country....

Yep...I don't see what the point was in booting him out

[flyersfan35]

How is it that someone who was complaining 2 weeks ago that she didn't have enough money to buy her prescriptions or pay her bills, and who only had $30 to live on until her next disability check in July is now saying that she has paid off her credit cards and is getting a tattoo next week? It's especially annoying since she has been complaining on facebook constantly that she doesn't even have enough money for food...but she's gonna spend money to get a tattoo? wtf??

Ugh...sorry, but that stuff annoys me. I don't care what she spends her money on, as long as she's not trying to gain sympathy by writing about how poor she is every day on facebook...

[Nightowl]

How is it that someone who was complaining 2 weeks ago that she didn't have enough money to buy her prescriptions or pay her bills, and who only had $30 to live on until her next disability check in July is now saying that she has paid off her credit cards and is getting a tattoo next week? It's especially annoying since she has been complaining on facebook constantly that she doesn't even have enough money for food...but she's gonna spend money to get a tattoo? wtf??

Ugh...sorry, but that stuff annoys me. I don't care what she spends her money on, as long as she's not trying to gain sympathy by writing about how poor she is every day on facebook...

I know what you mean. I have a friend on facebook who is constantly posting provocative pictures of herself, and then is constantly complaining that random men are creeping her profile and leaving messages.

[i_heart_bones]

How is it that someone who was complaining 2 weeks ago that she didn't have enough money to buy her prescriptions or pay her bills, and who only had $30 to live on until her next disability check in July is now saying that she has paid off her credit cards and is getting a tattoo next week? It's especially annoying since she has been complaining on facebook constantly that she doesn't even have enough money for food...but she's gonna spend money to get a tattoo? wtf??

Ugh...sorry, but that stuff annoys me. I don't care what she spends her money on, as long as she's not trying to gain sympathy by writing about how poor she is every day on facebook...

I know what you mean. I have a friend on facebook who is constantly posting provocative pictures of herself, and then is constantly complaining that random men are creeping her profile and leaving messages.

Oh my god does that annoy me!
I have a girl on my FB that constantly updates her status saying "I have sooo much work to do, don't even have time to do my washing...blah blah blah"
Maybe if you didn't spend 6 hours a day updating fb you would get more done? grrr

[Brain&Heart]

How is it that someone who was complaining 2 weeks ago that she didn't have enough money to buy her prescriptions or pay her bills, and who only had $30 to live on until her next disability check in July is now saying that she has paid off her credit cards and is getting a tattoo next week? It's especially annoying since she has been complaining on facebook constantly that she doesn't even have enough money for food...but she's gonna spend money to get a tattoo? wtf??

Ugh...sorry, but that stuff annoys me. I don't care what she spends her money on, as long as she's not trying to gain sympathy by writing about how poor she is every day on facebook...

I know what you mean. I have a friend on facebook who is constantly posting provocative pictures of herself, and then is constantly complaining that random men are creeping her profile and leaving messages.

Oh my god does that annoy me!
I have a girl on my FB that constantly updates her status saying "I have sooo much work to do, don't even have time to do my washing...blah blah blah"
Maybe if you didn't spend 6 hours a day updating fb you would get more done? grrr

i must admit i'm a little guilty of complaining about how much homework i have but not actually doing it
but constantly doing it does get annoying!
I have a girl on fb who i work with. she is forever complaining about rego being due or other amounting cost yet she seems to call in sick to work just because she 'can't be bothered working'.

[dawnsfire]

I hate phishers! *mutter, mutter, grumble, growl* Got a text & 2 emails from job-hunting places so out of the blue...both are scams! Thank God I have a computer savvy BF who helped me find out what was what before I applied and handed them who-knows-what kind of info!

People who latch onto desperate people like that are just evil! I so need a job and you have no idea how tempted I was--!

Just in case, it was jobnab & career-network. Be very careful with unsolicited offers, friends & neighbors!

[howie]

I so wish I could just lock myself in a room and cry. I also wish I could just say what is on my mind instead of hoping that people would just figure it out on their own. I really hate being a grown up sometimes.

[G]

I so wish I could just lock myself in a room and cry. I also wish I could just say what is on my mind instead of hoping that people would just figure it out on their own. I really hate being a grown up sometimes.

I'm sorry Howie.

[katharine]

I so wish I could just lock myself in a room and cry. I also wish I could just say what is on my mind instead of hoping that people would just figure it out on their own. I really hate being a grown up sometimes.

Sometimes you have to give in to speaking your mind. When I get really really frustrated, I will write down my thoughts to make sure that they are nothing vindictive or hurtful. Then I express them. Life is too short to keep your thoughts and feelings bottled up. It serves no purpose to yourself, friends or family.
As long as we are mindful of others, we should always speak our mind. I am a huge believer of that. Tact, of course, is helpful.
Give a burden on your head or heart, speach, then it will take wings and fly.

[dddodson]

I am old. HA And it sounds like a lot of you much younger than I have learned stuff it took me longer than I wish it had for me to learn to do.

Holding it in ... just doesn't work.

Better to step back, figure out what is really bothering you (sometimes what sets us off isn't "it" but just the symptom of what is really wrong), and once you know: choose.
#1 Let it go. (And really do so).
or
#2 Address it. (And really do so.) The ol' "Say what you mean, mean what you say, and don't say it mean" is always the ideal to shoot for.

But don't hold something in -- or hold onto it.

[Kasper]

On a lighter note, my foot has an insatiable itch...

[katharine]

On a lighter note, my foot has an insatiable itch...

does that mean something. If your hand itches, it means money. Your nose, a visitor. Not sure about your foot.

[flyersfan35]

On a lighter note, my foot has an insatiable itch...

does that mean something. If your hand itches, it means money. Your nose, a visitor. Not sure about your foot.

I'm pretty sure it means she should write...

[Kasper]

On a lighter note, my foot has an insatiable itch...

does that mean something. If your hand itches, it means money. Your nose, a visitor. Not sure about your foot.

hmm not sure.. it's rather annoying though haha

[DBCrazy]

This isn't truly a vent, more like a big "Ugh!"

At work mostly I write Access database programs. I've been doing that for 12 years now. When I started I used Access 95. About 3 years later they upgraded to Access 2000. Well, since then there's been Access 2003, 2007 and now 2010, but we've been stuck using Access 2000 all this time. Now the corporation has finally decided to upgrade to 2010.

When we made that first upgrade there were all kinds of problems to deal with that didn't convert easily, but then I was only having to deal with 3 years worth of databases. Now there's 15 years worth of databases, and we've skipped over 2 upgrades!

Yesterday I got a computer to begin testing the new version. I feel like a klutz because so many things have changed or moved someplace else. Hardly anything looks the way it used to. I'm afraid I'm at the beginning of a long, uphill climb.

Like I said, "Ugh!"



But, lest I sound ungrateful, there are some things that I've found that will become much, much easier to do!

[A2BOREANAZ]

oh now crazy......it will be alright.....in time....crazy will be a pro with the new stuff.....just keep at it.............

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