Parker and the Haunted Mansion- a Halloween Tale

by Thnx4theGum Mon Oct 26, 2009 12:31 pm

Not for the competition, because it's older, but just for funsies Cool

This was a tag I wrote for Mummy in the Maze.
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“Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.” – Tennessee Williams

As Booth drove his SUV up the long drive to the Hodgins’ mansion, Parker in tow, he really hoped he knew what he was getting himself into. Thanks to yet another serial killer, he’d missing getting to take Parker trick-or-treating this year, but yesterday Hodgins had pulled him aside and invited him and Parker out to the mansion tonight.

The only hint that the bug man would give as to what was up was that Parker was to wear his Halloween costume and Booth could wear his if he wanted to. Parker had gone out as Superman with Becca and had done his best before Halloween to convince his dad to go as the Green Lantern. Booth didn’t do spandex, but he did come up with the idea of going as Clark Kent, complete with squinty glasses from his ruined party costume, which seemed to meet with Parker’s approval. Again, he wondered what they were in for.

Whatever it was that Hodgins had planned, the whole squint squad was in on it. Today, Cam acted like nothing was going on, Sweets kept probing him as to how he felt about not being with Parker for the holiday, Bones had acted obtusely secretive, and Angela kept shuttling Zack from one task to another every time Booth tried to interrogate the kid. For a minute, Booth had seriously considered turning the invitation down, but he could no more deny the squints their fun than he could his own son, so he accepted, praying fervently that whatever they’d cooked up was safe and appropriate for a kid.

The mansion was decorated with pumpkins lining the walkway, and fake spider webs encircling the thick pillars that held up the entryway. Parker raced out of the SUV, cape fluttering in the wind, and was knocking on the door before Booth could stop him.

“Good evening, Master Parker,” a thin man with an English accent smiled down at the boy, “Master Bruce has been waiting for you.”

Parker gave the man a confused look, then turned to his dad for permission to go in. Booth nodded, getting the reference as soon as he caught sight of the bug man.

“No way,” Parker exclaimed, “Is that a real Batman suit, Dr. Jack?”

“That it is,” Hodgins told the boy, “Straight from the original TV set.”

“Good thing you didn’t go for Clooney’s,” Booth joked, “Just please don’t tell me that your butler’s name is Alfred?”

“Nah,” Hodgins waved a hand, “That’s Tim, my barber, but he loves doing the accent thing.”

Booth eyed Hodgins’ out of control hair and raised an eyebrow, but decided he really didn’t want to go there.

“You ready to go trick-or-treating with your dad, Parker?” Hodgins asked, producing a plastic pumpkin.

Parker’s head bobbed up and down eagerly.

“Then welcome to my haunted mansion,” Hodgins waved theatrically.

“Are you coming with us?” Parker wanted to know.

Hodgins shook his head, “Nope, but I’ll see you later on. Just followed the marked path and you won’t get lost. Behind each door you’ll find someone else to join you on your journey.”

“And candy?” Parker bounced up and down.

“Enough to last you ‘til Christmas,” Hodgins grinned, winking at Booth.

With that, Hodgins waved goodbye and disappeared down the long hallway, which looked like the Halloween department at Wal-Mart had thrown up in it. He had to admit, though, that the “trail”- a series of signs that looked like Angela’s handiwork and had been backlit by black lights- was pretty cool and probably looked convincingly creepy to a kid. He was gonna owe the squints big time for this one.

Meanwhile, Parker was tugging on his arm and dragging him to the first marked door. The boy knocked, waiting anxiously to see who was on the other side.

“Dr. Bones!” Parker flung himself at the forensic anthropologist, “Cool costume!”

“Thank you, Parker,” she said, readjusting the Lasso of Truth that Parker had knocked loose, “Your costume is a reasonably good facsimile as well, and is your father supposed to be your alter ego?”

“He’s not an eagle, Dr. Bones,” Parker shook his head, rolling his eyes, “He’s Clark Kent, you know, Superman’s secret indemnity.”

Bones looked like she was about to correct him, so Booth stepped in.

“Got any goodies for us, Bones?” he grinned widely, waggling his eyebrows at her teasingly.

She missed the innuendo, but nodded anyway, retrieving candy from a bowl behind her and putting it in Parker’s pumpkin bucket.

“You don’t have your gun this time do you?” Booth muttered out of the side of his mouth as Parker went in search of the next marked door.

“Of course not,” she scowled, keeping in step with him, “That would be highly irresponsible and it is not as if this situation calls for it.”

“Good,” Booth grinned, “’Cause I don’t feel like getting shot.”

They bickered about the shooting and the snakes and her non-amazonian bracelets until Parker crowed that he’d found the next door.

“Play nice you two,” was the first thing Cam said as she answered the door, once again decked out in her Catwoman suit.

She handed Parker more candy, then joined the group as they headed off. The next three doors revealed Zack, dressed like Robin, Sweets, dressed like the Flash, and Angela, dressed as the Black Canary. True to Hodgins word, Parker’s bucket was overflowing by the time the group reached the last door.

“To escape the haunted mansion,” Hodgins’ disembodied voice boomed as they neared the door, “You must pass through the Passage of Doom. Only the bravest of souls will make it out alive!”

Parker’s eyes were wide as the door creaked open on its own, revealing nothing but darkness.

“I can do it, Dad,” he said bravely, passing off his candy.

“I know you can, Bub,” Booth slapped him on the shoulder.

All of the squints but Bones melted into the darkness as he and Parker entered the room, the door slamming shut behind them.

“That was Zack,” Bones whispered to him.

Booth shushed her, hoping Parker didn’t hear them over the haunting music that was playing. He was grateful that the music was loud, as Bones felt the need to keep a running commentary going at each thing Parker passed. One vat of over-cooked spaghetti, a jar full of peeled grapes, three squints in sheets, and one teaching skeleton later, they had “escaped” into a brightly lit room where Hodgins stood waiting for them.

A table full of food was behind the bug man, with everything from cupcakes to caramel apples just waiting to be eaten. Hodgins presented Parker with an “official” Jeffersonian Justice League medal and Tim the barber took a group picture for them with Booth, Bones, and Parker in the center surrounded by the rest of the squints.

“Thanks, man,” Booth offered Hodgins a hand as they headed for the food.

Hodgins shrugged, “It was Dr. B’s idea. I just provided the mansion.”

Booth eyed his partner, who had reopened the Catwoman/Wonder Woman debate with Cam again, and smiled.

“Dr. Bones is awesome, isn’t she, Dad?” Parker asked, bouncing up and down beside him.

“She sure is, Bub,” Booth sighed happily, “She sure is.”