A Perfect Murder

I was up debating our knife argument last night. Mum walked into the kitchen to find me knife wielding with dad's carving knife. I think she was scared for my sanity.

I think I'd be scared for your sanity. I did some stabbing of some lemons and grapefruit with a steak knife and a normal breadknife this afternoon though..

To what result? Bread knifes and steak knifes would be hard because of the serrated edges. Although possibly more lethal...

I think you should document your SPAM experiment for us. Fire as an effective tool for murder. I wonder how long it would take to burn to the bone?

Stabbing lemons is a really bad idea because they squirt everywhere and got all over my riding boots. I think if I had to toss up between them, I'd stab with the steak knife or one of the super-long screwdrivers that are in the drawer next to them.

A screwdriver would be good. You can get those super long ones with the philip's head pointy end. I think they would make a pretty good weapon.

squirtandmilo wrote:I think you should document your SPAM experiment for us. Fire as an effective tool for murder. I wonder how long it would take to burn to the bone?

You just want me to cover something in spam and set it on fire. I'd have to go looking for spam first, but it's a possibility. I think it would take a fair while, depending on whether there was any direct accelerant on the spam.

My skulls a bit scummy really, I need more bleach.

squirtandmilo wrote:A screwdriver would be good. You can get those super long ones with the philip's head pointy end. I think they would make a pretty good weapon.

Thats exactly the type I was thinking of, they're long and rigid so would be a very effective weapon...

So, if you were trying to commit the perfect murder, what murder weapon would you use?

Off to the supermarket we go. You should just be able to get it there. We can get it anywhere here. Almost.

I wonder if it would be like setting fire to an animal. You would have to use some sort of accelerant, especially if the person wasn't wearing any clothes.

clairebear_nz wrote:

squirtandmilo wrote:A screwdriver would be good. You can get those super long ones with the philip's head pointy end. I think they would make a pretty good weapon.

Thats exactly the type I was thinking of, they're long and rigid so would be a very effective weapon...

So, if you were trying to commit the perfect murder, what murder weapon would you use?

And they have a hilt. Albeit a very small one. Ours has a translucent yellow handle.

It would depend on the circumstances. Are we talking perfect murder or just spur of the moment stuff. Cause perfect you would need to be able to cover your tracks. So maybe some natural poison that is undetectable in the blood. Like potassium.

But then how would you administer...

I probably can get it somewhere here, I've never really looked for spam since I don't eat meat and even if I did eat meat....for some strange reason, I don't think I'd eat spam.

Can't say I've ever set fire to an animal, but I agree, an accelerant would be needed. Maybe petrol? Although that might be a bit too volatile for my purposes...I'll find a really crappy t-shirt I don't like.

Yeah, with clothing I don't really think it would be all that necessary, and accelerant. Petrol is a bit...I'd probably just use anything that was flammable. Petrol is too cliched.

squirtandmilo wrote:

clairebear_nz wrote:

squirtandmilo wrote:A screwdriver would be good. You can get those super long ones with the philip's head pointy end. I think they would make a pretty good weapon.

Thats exactly the type I was thinking of, they're long and rigid so would be a very effective weapon...

So, if you were trying to commit the perfect murder, what murder weapon would you use?

And they have a hilt. Albeit a very small one. Ours has a translucent yellow handle.

It would depend on the circumstances. Are we talking perfect murder or just spur of the moment stuff. Cause perfect you would need to be able to cover your tracks. So maybe some natural poison that is undetectable in the blood. Like potassium.

Thats a good point, I think if you were truly trying to kill someone, something like potassium or anti-freeze (which I know kills small animals effectively, not sure on people) that was common and not easily traced to you.

We're talking total premeditated perfect murder. Like Dexter, although I've never seen it.

squirtandmilo wrote:Yeah, with clothing I don't really think it would be all that necessary, and accelerant. Petrol is a bit...I'd probably just use anything that was flammable. Petrol is too cliched.

Deodorant flamethrower?

I don't eat SPAM, never have. But if Bones is right...for once...and SPAM does burn like human flesh. Then it would be fun to try.

clairebear_nz wrote:

squirtandmilo wrote:Yeah, with clothing I don't really think it would be all that necessary, and accelerant. Petrol is a bit...I'd probably just use anything that was flammable. Petrol is too cliched.

Deodorant flamethrower?

They are the best fun you will ever have!

squirtandmilo wrote:

clairebear_nz wrote:

squirtandmilo wrote:Yeah, with clothing I don't really think it would be all that necessary, and accelerant. Petrol is a bit...I'd probably just use anything that was flammable. Petrol is too cliched.

Deodorant flamethrower?

They are the best fun you will ever have!

I know, the last one I played with, the flame went rather too far!

Workday is Wednesday when I get back so I'll have the bunsens and the lab to play in. My last years chem teacher is trying to commandeer both Laura and I to be in his group

Still on the whole knife thing. If you could, trying to get up and slit the carotid artery would be most effective.

squirtandmilo wrote:I don't eat SPAM, never have. But if Bones is right...for once...and SPAM does burn like human flesh. Then it would be fun to try.

I don't think we'll know whether it does burn like human flesh unless we see human flesh burning, which would be bad and we'd get arrested.

squirtandmilo wrote:Still on the whole knife thing. If you could, trying to get up and slit the carotid artery would be most effective.

Thats true, I was reading a book where they did that, apparently when a carotid is slit, the person lives for around one more heartbeat. I think that was James Patterson actually.

I guess that wouldn't be good for cleaning up though.

Hmm. I don't have any plans for that in the foreseeable future. But apparently Pigs are much like humans...haha. Maybe we could get a pork belly and a can of SPAM and compare?

clairebear_nz wrote:

squirtandmilo wrote:Still on the whole knife thing. If you could, trying to get up and slit the carotid artery would be most effective.

Thats true, I was reading a book where they did that, apparently when a carotid is slit, the person lives for around one more heartbeat. I think that was James Patterson actually.

I guess that wouldn't be good for cleaning up though.

True, unless you could do it some place that you could cover up. But are we body hiding too? or just killing. Cause if you didn't leave any evidence that you were there. I can't see a problem with their blood...

Cause if we went complete cover-up I don't think I'd use a knife at all...

Thats a better plan, I think! I've heard that about pigs too, and not just from Bones, I think it was my sisters xenotransplantation paper.