Archive #6

I have sort of successfully accomplished my goal, today, of ignoring Father's Day.

Well, I'm glad and sorry at the same time, I guess, jonezy...

flyersfan35 wrote:Well, I'm glad and sorry at the same time, I guess, jonezy...

It was actually not an issue and I'm not seeing any dark clouds forming so I guess I've adapted to the absence of family. You don't want to become "THAT" person but you sure don't have a choice if you expect to live now and not in some cherished then.

And I really think mary must have fallen asleep again...or did she say good night and I missed it again? Geez, maybe I need a drink...lol

jonezn4Bones wrote:

flyersfan35 wrote:Well, I'm glad and sorry at the same time, I guess, jonezy...

It was actually not an issue and I'm not seeing any dark clouds forming so I guess I've adapted to the absence of family. You don't want to become "THAT" person but you sure don't have a choice if you expect to live now and not in some cherished then.

Well, that's good, I guess, that you're moving on. Though I'm still a bit confused why you don't see your kids. Don't you have any rights?

Or I'm sorry, that may be too painful to talk about...if so, just say so.

I intended to be a virgin when I married.

Oh my!! Never have I heard a guy saying this. You are rare as ...I don't know what. Maybe you could help me out with a simile. In Hungarian if we want to express how seldom something happens we say rare as a white raven since that particular event you talk about is highly unlikely to happen. You are odd, jonezy, representing a minority among men. I don't know whether you have ever told this juicy piece of info of intending to stay virgin till your wedding day to anyone, but whoever you have told it, she - presume it could have been a SHE knowing you have always preferred female company- must have been shocked.

Let me tell a little info. Since you shared the above detail I am inclined to share a little bit of my private life with you. When I was at the beginning of my 20s and had a long-term boyfriend of 2 and a half years I meant to stay virgin and I DID manage. It was MY conscious choice and he respected it. You may ask what my reason was. Well, the same as you had only I am a female and according to common knowledge -PLS don't throw things at me- men always want sex whenever they can have, and I thought I wanted to sort of preserve myself for my husband. In the back of my mind I probably knew that relationship wouldn't work. Eventually I didn't make it till my wedding day, nor was my husband my first. My second to be exact but that time I had a completely different view on my virginity. You see I was 26, yeah, your eyes don't deceive you, so I repeat I was 26 when I finally WANTED to get rid of it. You see since I broke up with my (first) boyfriend of 2.5 years, I hadn't had anyone for 3 whole years and I thought there must have been something wrong with me since no men seemed to have wanted me. Yeah, my self-esteem was very low. So the riddance of my virginity was very conscious and long-awaited. When after years of hunger for being loved I had a boyfriend, I was the initiator. I was the one who showed up at his doorstep. Also, I felt a little odd among my friends still having that distinctive mark called virginity. When I finally got freed from it I just didn't understand the fuss around it and I thought it was high time.

In my opinion, however, your situation was different from mine. In western societies female virginity is considered as a gift that should be taken care of, a flower to water, etc. while male virginity is considered as a useless and uncalled vestige. I can't believe I am telling all these things!!!

Hey Fly and Jonezy. Can't stay too long but I thought that I might pop in and say hi!

Wow! And Mary!

flyersfan35 wrote:Mary, did you fall asleep again? Jonezy? *sigh* Everyone left me...kasper's right, I scare people away...

No, I have just posted a super-lengthy post. But thanks for your concern.

Hi Squirt!!

flyersfan35 wrote:

jonezn4Bones wrote:

flyersfan35 wrote:Well, I'm glad and sorry at the same time, I guess, jonezy...

It was actually not an issue and I'm not seeing any dark clouds forming so I guess I've adapted to the absence of family. You don't want to become "THAT" person but you sure don't have a choice if you expect to live now and not in some cherished then.

Well, that's good, I guess, that you're moving on. Though I'm still a bit confused why you don't see your kids. Don't you have any rights?

first - the important issue - I think mary is definitely asleep at the computer.

Um. There are problems. Once she moved to Canada and set up residence the rights all shifted from arbitration in the U.S. to Canada. I am the pay-er of child support so I am the one obligated to make that commitment but the divorce was set up where I needed to provide the travel expenses to see my children. That was fine when the initial settlement had me within 25 miles of them. I had every other weekend visitation and summers. But, I am 1900 miles away and the cost of air fare is way outside my ability to pay. I'm still dealing with the debt from our marriage in addition to the child support so I am essentially screwed unless I become wealthy. I'm sure if I do I'll hear from her or a lawyer to negotiate new terms.

Gosh. I wish I got a lot of sleep. I had a whole 3 hours last night and now I have to live though 6 at school. I think I may fall asleep when I get home.

When my rents split, I'll be moving out on my own with my little brother and sister. No way he is staying with either of them alone.

jonezn4Bones wrote:

flyersfan35 wrote:

jonezn4Bones wrote:

flyersfan35 wrote:Well, I'm glad and sorry at the same time, I guess, jonezy...

It was actually not an issue and I'm not seeing any dark clouds forming so I guess I've adapted to the absence of family. You don't want to become "THAT" person but you sure don't have a choice if you expect to live now and not in some cherished then.

Well, that's good, I guess, that you're moving on. Though I'm still a bit confused why you don't see your kids. Don't you have any rights?

first - the important issue - I think mary is definitely asleep at the computer.

Um. There are problems. Once she moved to Canada and set up residence the rights all shifted from arbitration in the U.S. to Canada. I am the pay-er of child support so I am the one obligated to make that commitment but the divorce was set up where I needed to provide the travel expenses to see my children. That was fine when the initial settlement had me within 25 miles of them. I had every other weekend visitation and summers. But, I am 1900 miles away and the cost of air fare is way outside my ability to pay. I'm still dealing with the debt from our marriage in addition to the child support so I am essentially screwed unless I become wealthy. I'm sure if I do I'll hear from her or a lawyer to negotiate new terms.

Well, that definitely sucks, but it seems to me you should at least be able to talk to them on the phone and through the computer...but what do I know?

SquirtandMilo wrote:When my rents split, I'll be moving out on my own with my little brother and sister. No way he is staying with either of them alone.

Hi squirt! And is this your dad you're talking about, when you say he?

It was my brother. But you could look at it either way...I guess...

marymageli wrote:

I intended to be a virgin when I married.

Oh my!! Never have I heard a guy saying this. You are rare as ...I don't know what. Maybe you could help me out with a simile. In Hungarian if we want to express how seldom something happens we say rare as a white raven since that particular event you talk about is highly unlikely to happen. You are odd, jonezy, representing a minority among men. I don't know whether you have ever told this juicy piece of info of intending to stay virgin till your wedding day to anyone, but whoever you have told it, she - presume it could have been a SHE knowing you have always preferred female company- must have been shocked.

Let me tell a little info. Since you shared the above detail I am inclined to share a little bit of my private life with you. When I was at the beginning of my 20s and had a long-term boyfriend of 2 and a half years I meant to stay virgin and I DID manage. It was MY conscious choice and he respected it. You may ask what my reason was. Well, the same as you had only I am a female and according to common knowledge -PLS don't throw things at me- men always want sex whenever they can have, and I thought I wanted to sort of preserve myself for my husband. In the back of my mind I probably knew that relationship wouldn't work. Eventually I didn't make it till my wedding day, nor was my husband my first. My second to be exact but that time I had a completely different view on my virginity. You see I was 26, yeah, your eyes don't deceive you, so I repeat I was 26 when I finally WANTED to get rid of it. You see since I broke up with my (first) boyfriend of 2.5 years, I hadn't had anyone for 3 whole years and I thought there must have been something wrong with me since no men seemed to have wanted me. Yeah, my self-esteem was very low. So the riddance of my virginity was very conscious and long-awaited. When after years of hunger for being loved I had a boyfriend, I was the initiator. I was the one who showed up at his doorstep. Also, I felt a little odd among my friends still having that distinctive mark called virginity. When I finally got freed from it I just didn't understand the fuss around it and I thought it was high time.

In my opinion, however, your situation was different from mine. In western societies female virginity is considered as a gift that should be taken care of, a flower to water, etc. while male virginity is considered as a useless and uncalled vestige. I can't believe I am telling all these things!!!

Believe it or not - words escape me at the moment to provide you something comparable to the white raven except for expressions like, "Once in a blue moon," or, "When pigs fly." I will try to come up with something better.

On the virginity issue it is odd how important that was to me especially since I held no requirement or expectation that my wife would be a virgin. I am truly a very spiritual person. I believe that intercourse unites spirits. I also believe every word Jesus said and He said, "the two shall become one flesh."

From my experiences with girls who had been molested or taken as young as 11 was even more convinced that I would not be doing that to any woman. I would entrust my wife to be the provider of what I wanted and needed and I would not take from anyone. That was the plan. So, the whole thing that happened to me was a role reversal where a girl had the goal of taking my virginity.

first - the important issue - I think mary is definitely asleep at the computer.

No, jonezy, I am not. Again, read my loooooong post. But again, nice of you being concerned.

flyersfan35 wrote:

jonezn4Bones wrote:

flyersfan35 wrote:

jonezn4Bones wrote:

flyersfan35 wrote:Well, I'm glad and sorry at the same time, I guess, jonezy...

It was actually not an issue and I'm not seeing any dark clouds forming so I guess I've adapted to the absence of family. You don't want to become "THAT" person but you sure don't have a choice if you expect to live now and not in some cherished then.

Well, that's good, I guess, that you're moving on. Though I'm still a bit confused why you don't see your kids. Don't you have any rights?

first - the important issue - I think mary is definitely asleep at the computer.

Um. There are problems. Once she moved to Canada and set up residence the rights all shifted from arbitration in the U.S. to Canada. I am the pay-er of child support so I am the one obligated to make that commitment but the divorce was set up where I needed to provide the travel expenses to see my children. That was fine when the initial settlement had me within 25 miles of them. I had every other weekend visitation and summers. But, I am 1900 miles away and the cost of air fare is way outside my ability to pay. I'm still dealing with the debt from our marriage in addition to the child support so I am essentially screwed unless I become wealthy. I'm sure if I do I'll hear from her or a lawyer to negotiate new terms.

Well, that definitely sucks, but it seems to me you should at least be able to talk to them on the phone and through the computer...but what do I know?

You know as much as I do about that.

Anyway, I'm off to class. I may be back on soonish. If not. G'day!

Bye Squirt, see you later, and have a good day...

Bye squirt!

jonezn4Bones wrote:

marymageli wrote:

I intended to be a virgin when I married.

Oh my!! Never have I heard a guy saying this. You are rare as ...I don't know what. Maybe you could help me out with a simile. In Hungarian if we want to express how seldom something happens we say rare as a white raven since that particular event you talk about is highly unlikely to happen. You are odd, jonezy, representing a minority among men. I don't know whether you have ever told this juicy piece of info of intending to stay virgin till your wedding day to anyone, but whoever you have told it, she - presume it could have been a SHE knowing you have always preferred female company- must have been shocked.

Let me tell a little info. Since you shared the above detail I am inclined to share a little bit of my private life with you. When I was at the beginning of my 20s and had a long-term boyfriend of 2 and a half years I meant to stay virgin and I DID manage. It was MY conscious choice and he respected it. You may ask what my reason was. Well, the same as you had only I am a female and according to common knowledge -PLS don't throw things at me- men always want sex whenever they can have, and I thought I wanted to sort of preserve myself for my husband. In the back of my mind I probably knew that relationship wouldn't work. Eventually I didn't make it till my wedding day, nor was my husband my first. My second to be exact but that time I had a completely different view on my virginity. You see I was 26, yeah, your eyes don't deceive you, so I repeat I was 26 when I finally WANTED to get rid of it. You see since I broke up with my (first) boyfriend of 2.5 years, I hadn't had anyone for 3 whole years and I thought there must have been something wrong with me since no men seemed to have wanted me. Yeah, my self-esteem was very low. So the riddance of my virginity was very conscious and long-awaited. When after years of hunger for being loved I had a boyfriend, I was the initiator. I was the one who showed up at his doorstep. Also, I felt a little odd among my friends still having that distinctive mark called virginity. When I finally got freed from it I just didn't understand the fuss around it and I thought it was high time.

In my opinion, however, your situation was different from mine. In western societies female virginity is considered as a gift that should be taken care of, a flower to water, etc. while male virginity is considered as a useless and uncalled vestige. I can't believe I am telling all these things!!!

Believe it or not - words escape me at the moment to provide you something comparable to the white raven except for expressions like, "Once in a blue moon," or, "When pigs fly." I will try to come up with something better.

On the virginity issue it is odd how important that was to me especially since I held no requirement or expectation that my wife would be a virgin. I am truly a very spiritual person. I believe that intercourse unites spirits. I also believe every word Jesus said and He said, "the two shall become one flesh."

From my experiences with girls who had been molested or taken as young as 11 was even more convinced that I would not be doing that to any woman. I would entrust my wife to be the provider of what I wanted and needed and I would not take from anyone. That was the plan. So, the whole thing that happened to me was a role reversal where a girl had the goal of taking my virginity.

I actually lost several girlfriends because my insistence on staying a virgin and then not to have intercourse again until after I was married (when I had lost my virginity) made them think I was rejecting them and that they were not good enough and other strange things. It really confused most women. That, or they drew the conclusion I was gay or impotent.

Hasta squirt