Forever Means Always -- Rated T

squirtandmilo wrote:Okay, no new chapter yet. Just bumping this up so I remember to update it tonight.

that is just really really mean!
I sit here waiting for months and then you post to tell me that you didn't post?
You know some day, you will be at home and feel safe, I will stand on your doorstep ready to strangle you.....you will never know what hit you....

aww, I guess we are just gunna have to form another dang mob.........mand it is just so much work, I was hoping it wouldn't come to this, but I guess it is our civic duty. I have plenty of chicken salad leftover from christmas........you better watch out,c ause I am not afraid to thorw it!!
~~~~~Cassie~~~~~~~~~

we just have to find cup and her tuna casserole......everyone is afraid of that......
watch out squirt....there might be food flying your way soon

No I won't! Cause here is enough update to keep everyone happy for a little while. I hope. I am truly sorry about the delay guys! Thanks for hanging in there with me.

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Chapter Twenty Nine: Trail of Fire

Booth was in a complete state. He had fucked up again. Damn, he cursed himself, sliding his hand though his hair. Turning on the veranda he made his way into the Kitchen. He needed to calm Bones down for he knew she would be freaking out about what had just happened. Suffice to say after everything that had happened in the past few weeks that was certainly not the way he had wanted to break the news about his new-found relationship to his daughter. He didn’t know exactly what he was going to say to her and as he reached the door, intent on heading back to the bedroom, he swung back around, deciding to come up with some semblance of a plan as to just how he was going to calm Brennan down.

He was pacing around the kitchen, thinking about what he was going to say to Bones when he felt a hand on his arm. He looked down and into the crystalline blue eyes of his Bones; those eyes that spoke volumes to him. Looking down into her perfect face he knew that she was okay. Or at least she was for now.

“Booth…”

He shook his head. “She’ll hate me Bones, I lied to my daughter right from the start. How the hell is she ever going to trust me?”

“Booth, we have hardly been together two weeks. I mean, we needed to get onto steady ground before you even considered telling Lizzie about our relationship. We hardly knew what was going on, so how were you supposed to tell her anything? I’ll admit that it wasn’t an ideal way for her to find out, but she has no real reason to be very upset with you…” Brennan doubted the words even as they came out of her mouth as she looked at Booth.

“Bones! She walked in on us practically having sex!” He emphasised the word sex as though it was some kind of disgusting act. “She didn’t even know we were together and it’s not even just that Bones. I feel so bad, I still haven’t told her about Parker yet! I mean she has a little brother she knows nothing about; I lied to her about that and now this. She has every right to be upset.” Booth shook his head and placed it in his hands.

“Booth, don’t worry too much, she is a smart girl and I am sure that the concept of sex is nothing new to her. True, it wasn’t an ideal situation for her to walk in on, but if you treat it as something to be ashamed of you are going to have some very big problems when she gets older.” She finished her statement with a very pointed look.

“I know she’s smart but…”

“But what Booth? There are no ‘buts’ here, lets just go upstairs and start packing up somewhat, she’ll come back when she has calmed down enough to talk this situation though.”

---

As Lizzie walked across the grass, she thought about what she had burst in on upstairs and her subsequent reaction. As she looked back on it now, she felt she had overreacted a little. A blind person could see the attraction between her father and Temperance; even she could see it in their body language. She had to have known that it would be inevitable that they end up together. She just hadn’t expected to walk in on her father undressing his partner. But she still had the right to be angry. He had still lied to her about this. Had he thought that she couldn’t handle the information? No, she was perfectly capable.

But again, the more she thought about her actions and reactions of the past few weeks she could again see reasons for her father keeping things from her. Her freak out in the wardrobe a few weeks ago was a testament to that. Stopping suddenly, she wondered why she had been acting like such a child these past few weeks. Her mother had always called her highly strung and even she had to admit that she wasn’t very good at hiding her emotions and was lacking censorship somewhere between her brain and her mouth.

But as her emotions once again got fired up, she reasoned that that was no excuse for him to keep something this big from her, something that now affected her life as well as his own. Rather than working herself up more, she continued on back towards the house; she was guessing that her dad would want to have a talk to her about what she had seen. And she didn’t really blame him. She could only imagine how embarrassed they had both been at her interruption.

Entering the kitchen, Lizzie found the house eerily silent after the noise of the past few days. She moved over to the sink and turned the cold tap on, getting herself a glass of water to rinse the taste of vomit out of her mouth. It had been a while since she had worked herself into such an emotional state that she had been physically ill. Swirling the water around in her mouth and spitting, she tipped the remainder of the water in the glass onto the pot of herbs sitting on the windowsill and turned the glass upside down on the draining board, making her way into the family room to try and find herself a breath mint.

Opening one of the drawers in the desk by the front windows, she grabbed a piece of gum and shut the drawer again. She unwrapped the gum and popped it in her mouth, chewing slowly and looking around the room. It was sort of a surreal feeling that by this time next week this room would be bare, there would be no-one left living in her house. Her mum was gone, and soon she would be too. She would be boarding a plane to leave the country for her new home on the other side of the world. She really was moving half the world away. She often wondered about her new life when she was lying in her bed at night. She knew that she would be moving from the country into the heart of a city bigger than anything around her.

She had always hated Melbourne – well, more specifically, the city in general. She had to admit that she hated Sydney more when she went there with her mother, shutting herself in the hotel room for a day and a half while her mother had been at a conference. She had been enrolled in a boarding school very near to the city centre for half a term when she had gone into year seven. She had not lasted long, and after only a few weeks she was back at home going to a local private school.

She was a country girl though and through. She liked to be able to get up in the morning and just walk straight into the bush, to have the freedom to go wherever she wanted and not have to worry about anything. To not have another living person around for kilometres, simply the fresh air and silence afforded to her by the lack of traffic and factories. She just loved everything about her home. It suited her perfectly. It was a part of who she was and she worried about it being taken away from her. Where would she go in the middle of the city to just be alone? Where were the wide open spaces that she could explore and find solitude? She knew that her dad would try anything to make her happy, but would he be able to do enough?

Forgetting that Booth was most probably looking for her somewhere, she made her way up the stairs and into her now mostly bare room and searched for her iPod in one of the still open boxes laying on her floor. Once she had successfully located the player, she grabbed the rope halter and lead laying across the back of her desk chair and sprinted down the stairs and out the front door heading around to the barn. She was long overdue for a ride.

Climbing the fence, she stood on the top rung and placing her thumb and forefinger in her mouth, whistled loudly. Jumping down in the paddock, she placed her iPod in the pocket of her shorts and untangled the lead rope from the strings of the halter, looking up when she heard the familiar beating of hoofs on hard dirt. A wide grin swept across her face at the sight of Gulliver trotting over the horizon, head held proudly and mane whipping in the light wind. There was just something about the power and beauty of her truest friend that gave her such a happy feeling.

Gulliver halted in front of her and Lizzie immediately leaned up and placed the halter over his head, tying it in place and tossing the lead rope over his neck, bringing it around and tying it under his chin. Making her way over to the gate, she opened it, led Gulliver though and closed it again, then swung up onto his back and set off in the direction of the old fire track, wanting to head down to the big lake for one last visit.

---

“I have to find her!” Booth nearly yelled as he jumped up. He moved quickly to the door with Bones in tow until her phone sounded from back in the room. She looked up at Booth who nodded at her.

“You take that Bones. I’ll find Lizzie. I should probably have a talk to her on my own anyway.” Brennan nodded, almost grateful for the excuse to stay behind. She’d had enough of that young girl for now. She raced over to where her phone was shrilling loudly in her handbag and fished it out, not bothering to check the caller ID before answering; she already knew who it would be.

“Brennan…” she answered with a smile in her voice. She was beginning to really miss Angela and the lab. She needed to get back to work. Looking back on it, she wasn’t even sure anymore what exactly compelled her to come out here with Booth; it was completely against her nature. She suspected after the events of the past few weeks that it had something to do with her subconscious and her underlying feelings for him. But as fun as the weeks had been, she really did need to get home and she was glad that they were leaving in a few days, if only to get out of the heat - it was just not right for it to be this hot in December.

Booth slipped out the door and closed it behind him, leaving Bones to her phone call knowing that she didn’t particularly want to put herself in the middle of yet another confrontation between him and Lizzie. Moving down the stairs, he made his way to the back door and out into the blistering heat of the mid-day sun. The first place he decided to look was the paddock, as he had quickly learned it was always a safe bet to think that Lizzie would be somewhere with the horses. Moving across the short grass, he once again got lost in thought as the stillness of his surroundings enveloped him like a shroud.

He knew that he was going to have to organize something for the horses. Lizzie had told him pretty firmly the other day that she didn’t want anything to do with her mother’s money, but he was sure that she wouldn’t want Gulliver to be left behind. His daughter and that horse were basically one mind and he knew that having Gulliver with her in DC would keep her somewhat grounded and give her that connection back to her old life that she would need, give her the freedom that she desperately sought even here in Australia. And he also knew that there was no way he could afford to ship a horse over to the US and afford the upkeep that went along with said horse without the help of Anna’s money.

“Lizzie?” he called into the dusky silence of the large wooden barn. He was met with silence.

“Lizzie?” he tried again, but was once again met with silence save the flapping wings of a few ravens that had taken up residence in the loft. Concluding that she was not in the barn, Booth decided to try her cubby house in the backyard, hoping that she was hiding out in there with a book or one of her instruments.

---

Lizzie moved from a trot to a canter and felt the wind stroking though her hair, causing it to whip out behind her as they made their way across the land - her land. She slowed down when they hit the old fire track that led down to the massive lake that had always been her calm spot. She used to come down here after school to just relax and read. Some summers she would spend the whole day down here, swimming, reading and exploring. She knew the land around the lake like the back of her hand; she knew all the cool hiding spots, all the gums that were just perfect for climbing, the perfect riding tracks to take her back up to the lower dam through the trees. She felt safe here. She was safe here. And that was just the way she liked it.

---

“Sweetie! How are you?” Angela’s exceedingly exuberant voice sounded down the telephone line and into Brennan’s ear.

“Hey, Ange, I’m good,” Temperance answered automatically, then paused for a moment, thinking. “No Ange,” she smiled. “I’m better than good.”

Angela squealed, causing Temperance to hold the phone at arms length until the high pitched sound ceased.

“Angela,” Temperance laughed. “You don’t even know what is so good…”

“Oh, yes I do, Sweetie. You and your piece of F-B-Eye candy finally admitted your feelings for each other and had incredibly hot steamy sex.”

“Ange!” she blushed at her friend’s words.

[/i]“Oh Bren, don’t be embarrassed, we all knew it was going to happen some day. So how is he?” [/i]

“Ange, we haven’t had sex yet,” Temperance chuckled at her friend’s inference.

“What? Why ever not?!”

“Ange, we’re not here to have sex. We’re here for Lizzie and… god… she already walked in on us once.”

“What? How did…wait, I thought you two hadn’t done the dirty yet, you little liar!”

“Ange, I don’t mean she walked in on us having sex, but we were in a pretty compromising position on the bed, and Booth may or may not have had his hand up my shirt…”

Temperance growled as Angela laughed on the other end of the line.

“Sorry sweetie, but really, she walked in on you making out on the bed like a couple of horny teenagers?”

“Yes Ange, and it’s not funny at all! She completely freaked out and ran away again.”

“She ran away. Again? Why on earth did she run away?”

“Ange, she saw her mother killed in front of her, her emotions have been all over the place since we arrived. It’s crazy, one minute she is all calm and collected and the next she is screaming at us with no rational argument. She has already flipped out on Booth once. She passed out in her bathroom and… god Ange, when I first saw her lying there, I thought she was dead. I can’t even begin to imagine what Booth was feeling. I don’t know what he is going to do with her when he gets her back home. She is not a normal child.”

Ange listened to her friend in silence. Not interrupting until she was done.

“She’s not unlike you then, is she sweetie…”

“What, she is nothing like me.” She didn’t even convince herself.

“Apart from the whole, has no control over her emotions, I’d say she is almost exactly like you, Bren. She’ll be fine when she gets over here. She’ll have her Dad, who’ll have you. She’ll have all of us here at the lab. She’ll have a safety net, Bren. It’ll be hard at first, no one is denying that but she’ll get used to it.”

“It’s not just the people, Ange. She grew up in the country. She is not a city person. I mean she used to just disappear for days into the bush. Whenever she needs to get away she goes into the bush. She is a space person; and she has so much space here. A big house, her own room, her own cubby house and acres and acres of land to just be herself on - I just worry how she is going to react when he drops her in the middle of the city surrounded by buildings and cars as opposed to massive old gum trees and horses.”

When she stopped there was silence on the other end of the phone.

“Ange?” Brennan prompted timidly. She was not met with the response she expected.

“Wow Bren, this girl has turned you all maternal.”

It was Brennan’s turn to exclaim, “What? No she hasn’t!”

“Yes, she has. You’re acting like a worried mother. I think it’s cute, Bren. You are going to be her new mom after all.”

“No!” Brennan almost panicked. “I am not her new mom, Angela. She only just lost her real one. There is no way I am going be playing mom to this girl any time soon. There is no way on earth she would let me anyway…”

“So you’re saying that sometime in the future you would be okay with being her mom.”

“What? No, I never said that Ange. I am not her mom and I never will be.”

“But you will be living with her won’t you.”

“No, why would she be living with me, she is going to live with Booth, her father - or did you forget that little detail?”

“That is not what I mean, Bren, and you know it. You’re going to move in with Booth once she is settled in aren’t you?”

“I honestly never thought about it, Ange. But I highly doubt it - neither of our places is big enough for four people to live in.”

“Four people?” Angela questioned, confusion flooding her voice. Brennan rolled her eyes.

“You are forgetting that Booth has a son as well. And when he spends the weekend there is hardly going to be enough room for the three of them, let alone four of us.”

“Well, Bren, you know there is a simple solution to that problem.”

“And what might that be?” Brennan knew what Angela was going to say, but she decided to play dumb. There was no way she was buying a house with Booth.

“Terminate the leases on your apartments and get a house.”

“There is no way I am buying a house with Booth.” She spoke her thoughts aloud this time for Angela to hear.

“Whatever you say, Sweetie.”

“Ange, you know how I feel about all that…”

“What, about having a place big enough to live in…”

Despite herself, Bren smiled. “No Ange, about moving in with Booth and his family. I am not going to turn into a cleaning, cooking, baking housewife.”

“Whoa, Bren, whoever said anything about husbands and wives? Or is there something you are not telling me?” she questioned playfully.

“Ange! You know how I feel about marriage. I just don’t want to turn into some cleaning and cooking robot.”

“I’m sure that wouldn’t happen, sweetie, you are far too stubborn for that.”

“Thanks, Ange,” she grumbled.

“Don’t get your panties in a twist. I was only saying…”

“Ange, how could I possibly get my panties in a twist?”

“Don’t worry. Anyway, when are you coming home? We have been making some progress on the case. Agent Gratton has been working it with us and he has a suspect in custody but I don’t know how that will all play out.”

“Who’s the suspect?”

“One of the stewards from the competitions that Emily was competing at, he had no alibi for the time when she went missing and the more Gratton looked into it, we uncovered some other cases that were unsolved. All involving young girls competing at horse events and all died from blows to the back of the head.”

“So you’re thinking serial?”

“It’s looking to be that way.”

“What gave him away?”

“Hodgins found hair with the remains that wasn’t Emily’s, we ran the sample and got a hit.”

“What are his priors?”

“Charged and convicted of assault back in ‘94, asshole bashed his wife and left her for dead in their living room.”

“Did Zack find anything else of use on the body?”

“Nope, not much after your prelim, a few fractures that occurred post mortem, but other than that, nothing out of the ordinary.”

“Murder weapon?”

Temperance could almost hear Angela wince, “Farriers hammer.”

“Bastard.”

“I know, but hopefully we got enough to pin him.”

“Look Ange, I’m sorry I disappeared in the middle of a case. I hope it wasn’t too much trouble without me.”

“Don’t worry Sweetie. You know Zack is more than capable of handling cases; you did train him after all. I just can’t wait for you to get back home. Do you need me to come and pick you up from the airport?”

“Actually, you know I think that would be a good idea, Ange. Let Booth and Lizzie get straight home.”

“Alright, e-mail me your flight info and I’ll be there for you.” There was a pause and Temperance could hear someone talking to Angela on the other end of line. “Anyway, Sweetie, Hodgins needs my help with a problem, but you give me a call if you need to talk about anything, okay?”

“I will, Ange. Don’t worry.”

“Impossible. Love you, Sweetie.”

“Love you too, Ange. I’ll see you in a few days.”

“Bye Sweetie, behave yourself.”

“Bye-bye, Ange.” She smiled as she flipped her phone shut and tossed it onto the bed. She decided to go downstairs and see if Booth had managed to locate his wayward daughter yet.

---

As it happened, Booth had not managed to locate Lizzie yet. He had checked her cubby house only to find it empty. Making his way back up to the house, Booth let himself into the kitchen and sat at the table, his head in his hands.

“Lost her again?” He nearly jumped out of his skin as Alex spoke from behind him. He turned to face her and to his annoyance saw a small smile playing at the corners of her lips.

“Yes, how did you know?”

“Because I saw her ride past about a half hour ago, heading for the lake. So I know something happened. I swear since her mother died that girl has lost all her rationale, those emotions are all over the place. Child needs a shrink if you ask me.”

Booth ignored most of what she said and responded with a question; “The lake? How do you know she is heading there?”

“Because she was heading for the old fire track and that is where she always goes when she needs to get away. It’s her little hideaway, her calm place. She used to go there when she couldn’t handle the stress or when Anna was working a particularly hard case that impacted on the whole mood around the place. I wouldn’t worry about her Seeley; she’ll come back up when she has calmed down. The longest she ever stayed down there without taking anything with her was 7 hours. But I doubt she’ll be down there that long cause she’ll get hungry before then.”

“She’ll get hungry before then? What is this, how could Anna just let her run away from all of her problems?”

“She didn’t, there was really no way she could stop her. Just in case you hadn’t noticed Seeley, but Lizzie isn’t exactly the easiest child to control or predict. She just needs some time to herself. She goes down there to think and work things out, she’ll come back when she is ready to discuss whatever sent her down there.”

“How do you know she just won’t keep running? We all know she isn’t really looking forward to this move.”

“Because she may be impulsive, but even she isn’t stupid enough to run off into the bush with nothing but a horse, an iPod and dressed in shorts and a tank-top.”

Booth was getting frustrated again at the rather condescending tone that Alex was talking to him with. Then what Alex said sunk in. Not again.

“What do you mean dressed in just shorts and a tank-top…”

“Umm, exactly what I said? She only rides in trousers in summer if she has her saddle on, otherwise it’s too hot.”

“So she didn’t have a saddle either?”

“No, she didn’t have anything on…”

“When I get my hands on that girl she is going to be in a whole lot of trouble. I have already warned her once about riding without her helmet on. What if she falls off and hits her head?”

“In all fairness Seeley, I don’t think she was really thinking, and she only ever rides with her helmet at pony club, she isn’t a huge fan of it.”

“Maybe not, but I’m not a huge fan on squashed brains.” He stood up. “Alex, can you come get me when she gets home. I want to have a talk with her about some things.”

“Seeley.” Booth stopped at the sound of Alex’s voice and he turned to face her. Her hair was swept back in a loose ponytail and she had started dicing carrots. She paused in her cutting and wiped her hands on the tea-towel tucked into the waistband of her shorts.

“This little outburst wouldn’t have anything to do with your newfound relationship with Temperance would it?” The look on Booth’s face gave away the answer to Alex before he could even speak.

“Yes…How…how did you know?”

“It’s just a conversation we had when you first arrived. I had told her it was good to see her so smiley again and she told me it was because of you…”

“But what does that have to do with my relationship with Temperance?” Booth butted in the second he got the chance.

“Would you quit interrupting, gosh, you’re almost worse than your daughter.” Booth smiled at this statement. “But as I was saying, she was worried that you wouldn’t like her for who she was and you would just love her because you were her father. Anyway,” she managed to stop Booth from cutting in again, “I saw right though that and when I probed a bit more I basically got that she was scared that Temperance wouldn’t like her.”

“What?! Why on earth would she be scared that Temperance wouldn’t like her?”

“Booth, she isn’t blind, she could see the attraction between the two of you. She is no stranger to attraction. She was afraid that if Temperance didn’t like her that you wouldn’t like her. She felt like she was connected to her mother though you…” Alex then relayed the conversation she’d had with Lizzie to Booth hoping to give him a bit of insight into the situation.


“…It is a bit scary though, because now we have met and everything, and I keep thinking what will happen if he doesn’t like me or who I am.”

“Lizzie, I don’t think you have anything to worry about at all in that department. He is your father and I can tell that he loves you.”

“Yes, but does he love me because I am his daughter or for who I am. In human society it is genetically programmed into our DNA for a parent to love its offspring, but I just don’t want him to love me because he has been programmed too. I want him to love me for me. I’m just scared that I won’t be enough.”

“Where on earth is all this coming from Liz? You are not an insecure person!”

“I know! But this is different! This is the rest of my life Alex, what if she doesn’t like me…”

“You mean Tempe?”

“Yes, dad likes her, that much is obvious, so what if she doesn’t like me, what if I don’t like her! Will he still love me then?”

“And then I basically went on and got her to promise me to give Tempe a chance, but that doesn’t mean that those underlying issues have gone away Seeley.”

Booth nodded “Thanks for that Alex,” he sighed. “If attention and love are the issues then I hate to see how she’ll react when I tell her she has a younger brother…”

“I’m sure it will be alright Seeley. Just make sure she knows in no uncertain terms that you are there for her. I’ll tell her you want to have a chat with her when she gets in then, shall I?”

“Yeah,” Booth said distractedly, “that would be good Alex. I’ll just be upstairs for now.”

“Sure thing, Seeley.” Alex smiled at him as he made his way out of the room and up the stairs.

Brennan was on the landing when she heard Booth coming up the stairs. She smiled at him as he came into view.

“I was just coming down stairs to see where you were. I take it you didn’t find her?”

Booth blew air though his lips. “Nope, Alex saw her taking Gulliver out. Apparently she has gone down to some lake, her calm place. But that’s not all.”

Brennan gazed at his face, taking in his expression. Something that Alex said to him seemed to have bothered him greatly and she knew that she would have to tread carefully around the subject that she was guessing was something to do with Lizzie.

“Come on Booth, lets go into the room and you can tell me in there if you want.” Booth let her guide him to her room, her hand resting lightly on his forearm, her touch once again having that calming affect on him and relaxing him slightly.

Once inside and having closed the door, Temperance turned to Booth and looked him straight in the eye.

“Alright Booth, what’s the matter?” She was blunt, and didn’t have any sympathy in her voice. She saw his jaw tighten and his Adams apple bob as he swallowed tightly.

“She was worried that I wouldn’t love her! That if you didn’t like her then I wouldn’t either,” he managed to grit out.

“Lizzie?” Bones questioned raising her eyebrows.

“Yes Lizzie! Who else would I be referring too!?” Booth snapped, but immediately regretted it as he saw the flash of hurt that passed briefly across her eyes.

“Is that what has you in such a foul mood?” She practically spit the words at him and the tone of her voice humbled him somewhat, bringing back the melancholy he was feeling minutes before. Booth sighed, deflated.

“How could she think that I wouldn’t love her?” The sadness she could see in his eyes made Brennan want to reach out and hug him. Then remembering that they were more than ‘just partners’ now and she finally could just reach out and hug him, she did just that. Taking two quick steps and wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled him down to her. Leaning back slightly so that she could talk to him, she framed his face with her hands.

“Booth, she had never met you, you didn’t even know she existed, and she is just a little girl; of course she is going to think that. You just have to show her how wrong she is. She is a child, she just needs reassurance.” She spoke with such conviction that it almost shocked Booth. Almost, he was getting more used to the constant surprises that this woman dished out to him on a daily basis.

“I know, but it’s still hard.”

“Booth, you can’t expect her to just trust you straight out, she hardly even knows you! You just have to give her some time and lots of reassurance. She’ll learn to not doubt you. You’re a great father, Seeley; don’t ever doubt that, not even for a second.”

Booth stared at her for a few seconds before pulling her into his arms and burying his face in her hair.

“Thanks Bones, you have no idea how much I needed to hear that” he mumbled against her silky hair.

looks like you just got away without being hurt....for now....
I want to read a new chapter soon....
and I am not gonna be as nice as before, if you don't post!

I hope you have a nice new year!

Amazing job!!!!! I just read all of it now and I was amazed at how good of a writer you are. Keep going!!!!