Dangerous Addiction Rated T -- posted by Switch

Posted 19/09/2007 10:36:37 (19/09/2007 01:36:37 AM) Switch

This is my most angsty story to date i think, but it will get better they all do...i posted the 1st chapi of this at the place not to be named, and heres the 1st and 2nd to date...some of it might be a little OOC for some people, just a warning...R/R please
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It’s strange how fast changes can come. How they sneak up behind you, without even a moments notice. They lure you into a false sense of reality. Making you feel like everything will just stay the same. That maybe you can keep that lulling comfort of the familiar. If you hold on hard enough, maybe it won’t slip through your fingers.

She had tried to hold on, tried to keep some semblance of logic in her head. She wanted to listen to her head. To what she knew was right. But her heart kept intervening.

There relationship seemed to have changed in the blink of an eye. It had shifted without warning. She wasn’t prepared. But then again, with Booth, when was she ever?

It wasn’t like the way fall comfortably drifted into winter. That gave warning. The leaves would drop slowly, until the trees were nothing more then barren silhouettes. Nights got cooler, and snow dusted you hair as you stepped out in the morning.

No, this was more of the kind of change that she had no time to prepare for. They had been thrust together faster and harder then she was prepared for. She didn’t even think she wanted this anymore. She had Darcy, and that should have been enough.

But it wasn’t.

Something about being with Booth in secret kept pulling her back. It was wrong. And dangerous. And still she couldn’t keep herself away.

She’d never cheated before. And although she believed that monogamy was completely unreasonable, she found herself caught in limbo. Booth was Booth. But Darcy….the more time she spent with Booth, the more the horrible guilt ate away inside of her.

And she had tried. She wanted to breakaway from him. And he had tried to do the right thing. Pull away from her. She was in a relationship.

But still…she found herself with him. She’d come over to give him the case file. Telling herself that was all. She had dinner plans, and she and Booth were a physical attraction. Smoldering chemistry. That’s all it was. She could restrain herself.

*I’ll keep telling myself that till its true.*

And yet, she couldn’t help but kiss him back hard as they found their way to the couch. He let her down carefully, his body hovering inches over hers, their lips locked together.

She moaned lightly as his lips attacked her collar bones, his fingers pulling down the loose straps of her tank top.

Biting her lip, she arched her back lightly as the sensation of his touch sent shivers down her spine.

She tried to regain some semblance of consciousness, but as his fingers traveled across her hips, pulling her shirt over her head, she failed miserably.

She ran her fingers through his hair as he kissed her shoulders, his hands exploring her torso.

“Booth, you know, I’m just here to give you the case file, that’s it.”

He nodded, “Uh huh. The file,” He reached across the coffee table, lifting it and letting it drop with a significant thump so she could tell it was there. “Very important.”

She laughed, as his lips found hers. His hand slid up the curve of her waist, and just as his fingers were about to find the clasp of her bra, they were interrupted by the violent vibrating of Brennan’s cell phone on the table.

“Don’t pick it up.” She could see the desire and pleading in his eyes, but she lightly pushed him off of her, sitting up, she reached for the humming phone.

“I have to. It could be important.”

He rolled his eyes. “Everything could be important Bones. It doesn’t mean you have to pick up.”

This time she rolled her eyes, smiling, as she grabbed the phone off the table. “That’s illogical and you know it.”

A wave of nausea rolled over her when the caller ID showed up as Darcy. She felt trapped, and she knew she couldn’t be this close to Booth while she talked to him. It almost felt like he could see her. Grabbing her shirt, she pulled it on quickly, before standing up and walking to the opposite side of the room, turning away from Booth.

She flipped open the phone, biting her lip in anxiety. “Hello.”

“God, Temp I thought something had happened to you. Where are you?”

*God, does he know? He can’t know. That’s logically impossible. Get a grip Brennan.*

“I’m fine Darcy. I’m at home.” *I’m also crap at lying.*

She saw Booth’s face darken out of the corner of her eye. He stood up, leaving the room, and she could see the evident anger and frustration in his face.

“I guess you forgot then.”

She felt like chucking the phone across the room. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt anyone. That hadn’t been the plan, but it was obvious she was hurting two people she cared about. She hated that.

“About what?”

“Our dinner plans? I’m sitting in the restaurant right now Temp. If you’re working I swear I’m going to come over and drag you out of your apartment.”

She bit her lip, tapping her fingers on the cool glass. Outside snowflakes were dancing lightly, and she couldn’t help but wish she hadn’t answered her phone.

“No, no I’m not. I fell asleep,” She heard Booth scoff from the other room, and she kicked the wall in frustration. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. Do you think you’re up to it, or not.” Even though he was trying to be understanding, Brennan could hear the growing annoyance in her real boyfriend’s voice.

*I want to stay with Booth.*

“No, definitely. I’m fine. I’ll see you there in 15, ok? At Gillian’s right?” She tried to sound cheery, but her heart wasn’t in it.

She heard the sigh of relief on the other side of the phone. At least someone was happy with her, because she had the lurking feeling that Booth was going to be decidedly not.

“You’re sure? If you’re tired---,”

She cut him off, not in the mood to talk anymore. “I’m fine Darcy. See you there.”

Closing the phone with a decided snap, she threw it across the room with more vigor that she had wanted, and it slammed into the wall with a loud crack.

“Damn.” She muttered as she walked to retrieve it, grabbing her sweater off the table where it had been discarded minutes before.

Pulling it over her head, her eyes met Booth as he leaned against the doorframe leading to the kitchen, a beer in his hand, his eyes cold.

“Let me guess, Darcy right? Your boyfriend?” She watched as a look of pure hatred crossed his face when he spat out the words.

As much as he was trying to disguise it, she could see the hurt in his eyes. She crossed her arms over her chest, not moving from the spot.

“Don’t Booth. You know it’s not like that.” As much as he thought it hurt him to see her with someone else, she felt even worse.

He shook his head, making his way over to her. “I do know what we’re doing here Bones. Its obvious that you’d rather be with him, so I don’t even know what you doing with me.”

She took a step towards him, putting a hand lightly on his arm. “You know that’s not true.”

“I don’t know what to believe anymore. How do I know you’re not lying to me too?” She turned away, and then looked back at him, their eyes meeting.

“I want to be with you Booth. I just…I don’t know what to do.”

He turned away from her. “You tell me when you figure it out. You should go, Darcy’s waiting.”

She blinked back tears, as she turned away from him, walking towards the door. He didn’t look as she closed the door quietly behind her. She leaned against it, her back sliding down against the smooth wood. She didn’t know why she was crying.

What had she expected Booth to say? Stay with me. Leave Darcy. Booth was too good of a man, and too proud for that. But she wanted him to tell her he needed her. She needed that. The reassurance that they were more then just sex. More then physical attraction.

Sighing, she stood up, brushing the hot tears out of her eyes. There was someone waiting for her.

Someone who didn’t know the lies she was capable of. And she had the haunting feeling that it was just the beginning.

Before she got out of her car she checked her appearance in the rearview mirror. She turned away quickly; her usually crystal clear blue eyes were dull and cloudy. She hated that. It was a good thing Booth wasn’t here. He always could read exactly what she was thinking by just looking into her eyes. It was a trait that drove her crazy. Not that it would be hard this time. They were also red-rimmed and bloodshot from crying. It was obvious to read that one.

She’d debated knocking on Booth’s door again before she broke down into tears in the back seat of her car. She wanted to throw herself into his arms, let him kiss her and make everything better. Safe. That’s what he always did.

But she hadn’t and she wouldn’t. The way he’d looked at her when she picked up the phone. The steeliness in his eyes. He never looked at her that way. Like he was ashamed of her. She couldn’t bare to have him look at her like that anymore. It was like being stabbed threw the heart.

Shaking her head as she pinned her hair back, she tried to rid him from her thoughts. She was supposed to be meeting Darcy. Her boyfriend. She repeated it again. Her boyfriend.
God it wasn’t working. What was Booth always there?

*Because I’m in love with him.*

The thought came up impulsively and faster then she could push it away. She hit her hand hard on the steering wheel in frustration, making the horn blare loudly, and shatter the serenity of the rain pounding softly on the window panes.

Everything in her life was always screwed up. She’d screwed things up with Darcy. And ever worse with Booth the person who cared about her the most. And now she was crying again. Great.

She wiped away the hot tears quickly, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath.

Inhale.

Exhale.

She hated herself for this. It was all her fault. She had promised herself that she wouldn’t ever cheat on someone. That she didn’t want to cause that much emotional pain in anyone she cared about. She’d broken her rule. The guilt was enough to make her scream out. White hot stabbing pain through her heart every time she moved. That’s what he didn’t understand. How much it made her hurt when she hurt him. Booth needed to know that.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Everything would be ok. It had to be. This night just needed to end. The faster she got out of the car, the faster it would end. Stepping outside, she ran as fast as she could on her 4 inch heels, the puddles splashing up against her legs in the process. She reached the restaurant’s awning just as her hair was beginning to get entirely too damp.

She pushed the door open, eliciting a light jiggle from the attached bells. She always felt awkward walking into restaurants alone, especially when they were filled with couples. Her eyes scanned the crowd, and locked on with a man’s dark green eyes.

Darcy grinned widely when he saw her. She managed a weak smile and she hoped he couldn’t tell her heart wasn’t in it.

*He’s not Booth. He can’t read me like that.*

She cursed herself for letting Booth creep into her thoughts again. But it was true. Darcy probably wouldn’t be able to see anything was wrong.

She reached the table, and he stood, still smiling.

“Wow…you look great Temperance.” Brennan looked up at him as he drank her in. His dark hair was short and spiky, his dark green eyes wide. He had nice friendly features, and a strong muscular build. He was taller then her. Taller then Booth even. Anthropologically he was a very very good mate.

She smiled genuinely at his compliment, but inside the guilt still plagued her. She hadn’t even remembered their dinner planes, yet she had spent 40 extremely out of character, meticulous minutes picking out what to where while she dropped something of at Booth’s.

She had known that the dark blue silky camisole clung to her curves and made her eyes glow, and that the jeans she had picked out were perfect for tucking into the black suede boots.

“Thanks” He leaned down to kiss her, but she turned her head, and he caught her cheek instead. She couldn’t kiss him. Not now. Not when Booth was so close in her mind.

He looked at her in confusion, but she ignored him, and sat down across from him, laying the napkin in her lap to give her hands something to do. He poured her water from the pitcher on the table, and she bit her lip, looking straight across at him.

“Listen, Darcy, I’m sorry I forgot about our plans. Lately I’ve just been really stressed, and I fell asleep.”

*I’m also a cheating, heartbreaking liar.*

He smiled generously at her, squeezing her hand from across the table. She flinched at him touch, but resisted the urge to pull away.

“Don’t worry about it Tempe. I know your work takes a lot out of you. You and Booth get hard cases. It’s a good thing he’s there for you.”

She nodded, her eyes staring blankly at the glass full of water, lost in her thoughts, she barely heard him. “Yeah, it’s good I have him.”

Realizing that she was completely out of the conversation, she blinked heavily, looking at Darcy. “Did you have a good day?”

She knew this question would last them for a while in the conversation department. Or at least it would last him. She needed to think.

Darcy rambled on about his day. He was a partner at a successful law firm, and he handled high paying clients almost everyday. She nodded at the right moments. And commented when she felt it was necessary. Other then that, her thoughts were nothing but him.

Her mind was completely occupied with Booth. She tried to engage herself into Darcy’s conversation, but the only thing she could think about was being with him. She needed him. Like she needed to breath. She felt like she was suffocating. Things needed to end with Darcy. Now wasn’t the time, but they needed to end.

But for once, she knew exactly where she needed to be. With him. She lying was going to make her literally sick, but she couldn’t stand being here for another second. It was ripping her heart out.

During an interval in his constant chatter, Brennan touched his arm lightly, looking seriously into his bottle green eyes. She bit her lip, and for a second she almost couldn’t do it. For a second she wanted to take it back. All it back. She wanted to make the safe decision.

But she couldn’t. Booth was a dangerous addiction that she couldn’t get a enough of.

“Darcy, I’m really not feeling well at all.” She saw the concern in his eyes, and she felt even worse.

“Are you ok, I mean do you want to stay, because I completely understand if you want to go home and rest Temp. You work too much anyways.”

*No I don’t.* “I think I just want to go home. I feel horrible, first I forget our plans and then I can’t even make it all the way through them.”

Half of that statement was true. She did feel horrible for what she was doing. The way he was looking at her, with such sympathy. She hated herself for that.

He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, smiling softly at her. “Don’t worry about it.”

She tried her best, not to pull away from his touch. “You sure?”

Smiling weakly, she let out a sigh of relief when he nodded. “Of course. Do you want me to drive you home?”

Protesting all too fast, she shook her head. “No! No I’ll be fine.”

He backed away slightly, obviously taken aback. “Whoa, ok…it was just a suggestion.”

She shook her head at her own stupidity. That had been stupid to do. She wondered if he suspected anything. Probably not. Darcy was too nice to even think that she might be lying to him.

“I’m sorry, I just feel like complete crap. It’s not your fault.” Brennan studied him carefully. She wished that she knew how to read people like Booth did. His eyes were dark.

“Don’t worry about it Tempe.” He leaned over, kissing her softly on the cheek. “Go home, rest. I’ll call you tomorrow?”

She stood up, smiling. “Definitely.”

Walking to go, she took a few steps, but turned. “I’m sorry Darcy.” He nodded, but she could see the blatant disappointment in his eyes, even if he tried to hide it.

As she walked out into the rain, she felt the familiar prickle of tears in her eyes. When she said she was sorry she meant it. She was sorry for the way she was going to hurt him. And she was sorry for the lies that she had to tell. She was sorry for not choosing him.

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When she had left the restaurant she had been so sure of it. She had known it was the right decision, but as she stood in the rain, looking up at the looming apartment building, she wasn’t sure.

She didn’t know how long she’d been standing there for. She’d stepped out of her car, and then she’d been glued to the ground. All she could do was stare up at the glowing apartment. It was one of the only ones whose lights were still on, and she wished she could see Booth’s faint silhouette, but she couldn’t.

It was almost as if he wasn’t there. That’s how she felt these days. Like everything in her life was fleeting.

She was aware that she was already completely soaked to the bone, but she couldn’t get herself to move. She was stuck. Afraid. That’s what it really was. What if he didn’t want to see her? If he shut the door in her face. She knew how much it hurt him seeing her with Darcy, but what if this was really it. The end of them. What would she do then?

Everything seemed to be crashing in on her. The possibility that Booth might not even want to speak to her was daunting and terrifying. She raised her face to the rain, closing her eyes, she let it pound down on her lips and her cheeks, catching delicately on her eyelids and pooling on her eyelashes.

It was then that the undeniable cold settled uncomfortably over her entire body. She shivered violently, wrapping her arms around herself and blinking against the rain. It was quite possible that she would develop hypothermia before she made a decision, so she cleared the quick steps from her car to the building, and took shelter as she climbed the stairs.

She wasn’t in the mood for the elevator, and even though she knew she was being illogical, she wished she had stayed out in the rain. She was so unbelievably cold in the lonely halls of the apartment building that she could barely move.

Realizing how stupid she’d been, she didn’t even have apprehensions about knocking on his door. Her hands shook as the knocked, the iciness quickly numbing her body. Why had she abandoned all logic, and stood in the pouring rain for half and hour? It was idiotic and stupid and dangerous, but she couldn’t turn back the clock. For now she was stuck cold and wet.

Booth answered the door, and she saw how surprised he was to see her. The surprise and possible anger dissolved as he took in her appearance. Concern wrote its way across his face, as he studied her.

“Bones, god what happened to you?”

She stepped inside, as he closed the door, putting a hand on the small of her back to guide her inside. He was alarmed to feel how cold she was. This was definitely not safe.

He watched her try to speak. Her teeth were chattering so badly, he could barely understand her. Booth had spent the night since he left, nursing a beer, sinking farther and farther into a hole he was afraid he couldn’t dig himself out of. He thought he had lost her. She shouldn’t have been with Darcy right now, a fact that he hadn’t stopped reminding himself of for the past 2 hours. He was just the other guy. Someone she slept with on the side.

But now she was standing there, looking more upset then he’d seen her. Her skin was so pale, that it was almost translucent. Her usually full lips were tinged blue and purple with the cold, and her dark hair was plastered against her shoulders. She still looked as beautiful as ever, but he did notice how her entire body was constantly shivering. He knew he worried too much, but right now he felt he had the right to.

“Bbbooth….I’m, sssoo, sooorry…I shouldn’t have left.” Her teeth chattered loudly as she tried to speak.

All the anger with her melted away. All the hurt. He shook his head, not looking at her directly. “Bones, its ok. I understand. You and Darcy, I need to let you---,”

“No!” He saw her eyes flash with protest. “Noooo, Darrrcy, isn’t. I’m going to….I’m here with…yyou Booth... I want to be here. I wwant you…”

He reached out, his knuckles tracing her jaw, as he wiped away the tears that were threatening to spill out of her crystalline eyes. He kept his hand there, caressing her face softly, growing increasingly more concerned as he felt how cold she really was.

“Bones…I…” He trailed off, and he saw her eyes looking up at him hopefully.

“Whhat?” He looked away, but kept his fingers tracing her cheek bones carefully.

He shook his head, and he saw the disappointment flash across her face. He wanted to say it, but now…when everything was so complicated, was not the time. “We need to get you into warm clothes. You’re freezing.”

She nodded, but looked away. She thought he was going to tell her something to reassure their relationship. He cared about her. She knew that. But she needed to hear it. She’d never been needy, but it seemed like the only thing that mattered.

He leaned down, kissing her hair softly. “I’ll be right back.”

She nodded, and wrapped her arms around herself protectively, trembling violently. The cold was taking over. Her brain felt numb, her skin felt clammy. The only thing she could focus on was warmth.

“Bones, you wanna come in here to change?”

She nodded, shuffling slowly across the apartment. She’d removed her heels when she walked in, and the bare pads of her feet felt good against the wood.

He nodded towards a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt lying folded carefully on the bed. “I thought that would probably fit you the best. I think the most important thing is to get you warm right now.”

She nodded in agreement. That sounded about right. “Ok.” She sat down on the bed, and he continued to watch her intensely, not tearing his eyes away for a second. She was enthralling.

“Um…Booth?” Her eyes were questioning, and he turned around immediately. Obviously she wanted her privacy.

“Sorry.” He mumbled awkwardly. Brennan watched as he stared at the other side of the wall, his face illuminated by the faint glow of the moon. The lights were off, and his floor to wall windows made it feel like they were outside in the rain. The pitter patter sound was peaceful.

She stood, reaching for the buttons on her jeans. She tried to unbutton it, but her fingers were trembling to badly, and too numb to even attempt at unhooking the button. She tried twice, but her fingers stung when they touched the course fabric. Finally, she groaned in frustration, putting her face in her hands. She was crying at something so small, but everything seemed to be worthy of her tears lately.

Booth turned around when he heard her quiet sobs. He quickly realized what the problem was, and moved towards her carefully, so he was standing in front of her. She looked up at him, her eyes bloodshot and red rimmed. He hated seeing her like this.

Booth spoke huskily, his lips grazing her ear. “Here, let me.” He guided her fingers away from the clasp of the jeans, his precise fingers easily slipping the button through the hole, and unzipping the zipper carefully. She watched him, as he tenderly slid his hands along her hips, pulling the wet denim off of her body. He moved them down her legs, his hands following the gentle curves of her thighs as he got down on his knees, to pull them off.

Every touch was tender and soft. She stepped out of the legs one by one, as Booth looked up at her. He reached for the sweatpants on the bed, and let her step into them slowly, pulling them up her slender hips, and tying them carefully at them waist.

She looked up at him, her eyes begging for his touch. Booth’s fingers toyed with the hem of her camisole, sliding it up her stomach, and pasts the sharp curves of her waist. She breathed carefully when his fingers grazed over her breasts, and she raised her arms over her head as he softly pulled the wet garment off her body.

Her arms fit easily into the wide arm holes, and she wiggled her head slowly through. Looking up at him, she smiled weakly, not wanting the moment of true adoration end. Booth leaned down, kissing her cheek softly. He moved down to her neck, his lips warm against her cool skin. He planted soft kisses along her collar bone, and along the curve of her shoulder.

Booth’s lips traveled back up to her jaw, and finally his lips met hers in the tenderest of kisses. It was so soft, that his lips just barely brushed hers. His arms wrapped around her, as he pulled her into a tight embrace, kissing her hair softly. She wrapped her arms around him, burying her face into his chest, feeling the safest she had in a long time. The rain reflected indigo on their faces, the stars that were visible twinkling in their eyes.

Booths lips grazed her ear softly, his warm breath sending shivers down her spine. “Everything’s going to be ok.”

For the first time, she believed him.

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arcy sat in the parking lot of Booth’s apartment building, the anger building in him quickly. This was Booth’s lot. She had lied. He knew something was wrong the second she said it.

They had always been too close. Darcy had been wary of that. But now, someone was most definitely going to pay. People didn’t double cross him.

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The couple that had all the problems, was about to have one more.

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Didja like? tell me please...

Posted 19/09/2007 19:55:27 (19/09/2007 10:55:27 AM) willgirl

OOOHhhh Switch, this is getting good! Please write more soon, I can't wait for the next chap!

Posted 19/09/2007 23:33:50 (19/09/2007 02:33:50 PM) Turi ray of sunshine

SWTICH!!!!... woman!!!... what happened to the next part?!?!?!?.... you HAVE to write more NOW!!!...
Very good story... and that last part was just tooo sweet for words

Posted 20/09/2007 00:07:37 (19/09/2007 03:07:37 PM) CheeseBK

more, please, mooooore... i love this

Posted 21/09/2007 00:43:04 (20/09/2007 03:43:04 PM) fanofbones

switch...absolutely wonderful and angsty hell...I loved it as always...you're so good...
more please and soon...
Darcy most def has a problem.....and as much as I love B&B together....payback will be a bitch..no killin's in this one.....right????????

fab

Posted 14/10/2007 11:20:33 (14/10/2007 02:20:33 AM)
Profile Edit this message Quote this message /!\ Delete the topic Visit his website Switch Send a private message to Switch
omg i am such a horrible updater...seriously its been like a month, but there is no time, and im sorry if this isnt edited very well, im so tired...so enjoy R/R please...

Chapter 3: Heartbeats


The 1st thing she heard was the rain. It pounded softly on the roof of Booth’s top story apartment, hitting the windows with force, and making it hard to figure out whether it was night or day. It was like white noise, the rain. It blocked out everything, so all she could hear was the gentle pounding surrounding them

She didn’t even need to open her eyes to know he was there. She could feel him, his arms draped around her loosely, his body mimicking hers, as she snuggled into him. His body was warm, and she found herself moving closer to him, even though she wasn’t cold at all. She craved their touches. She nuzzled her head into his bare chest, sighing softly in content as she listened to the rain. For one moment she didn’t have to think about everything she’d done wrong. It was just them. She knew it would pass and she relished it while there was still time.

She could feel his heart beating faintly, a gentle thumping in his chest, as she pressed her temple against him. The human heartbeat was an odd thing. Averaging about 70 beats per minute, it was enough to keep them alive. It pumped blood through their veins, and air into their lungs, and even though she knew it reasonably wasn’t true, she couldn’t help but wonder how their hearts had opened themselves to love.

Ba-bump.

Ba-bump.

Ba-bump.

She smiled. She had never been close enough to another person to hear their heartbeat. She could hear her own in her ears, perfectly at rhythm with his.

It made her feel closer to Booth then she’d ever been. As calming as it was, it also unnerved her. She and Booth weren’t supposed to be able to be this close, not after everything that had happened.

And then it happened. The moment passed. She felt her heartbeat start to race, and the second of perfect synchronicity with him was over. The unbelievable guilt washed over her again. She shivered involuntarily, despite Booth’s proximity and the warm comforter that was draped over them. She hated this.

Both deserved someone better then her. He deserved someone who wouldn’t cheat, and wouldn’t lie. That wouldn’t hurt him. That’s all she did anymore. That’s all she was good for.

Pain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~FLASHBACK, 3 Months Earlier~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The night had been unnerving. She hadn’t suspected it to go the way it did. The way it was going. She had been so caught off guard by the rush of emotions; she didn’t know what to do. The problem was, they hadn’t been directed towards Darcy.

She was supposed to be able to fall for him. To let him in. To finally be happy. He was a good guy. The “right” guy. But she couldn’t. As much as she wanted to put down her walls, and forget the fear, she wouldn’t will herself to do it.

As she closed the door to her apartment behind her, she pulled out the pin in her auburn waves, shaking them out and letting them cascade freely down her bare shoulders. She slid her feet out of her heels, relishing in the wave of relief her feet experiences gliding across the hard wood floor.

She tried to think of what could possibly be wrong. This was their 4th date. When he had asked if he could come up, why couldn’t she have just said yes like a normal woman? An attractive, nice, smart guy had asked in modern cultures euphemism for “would you like to sleep with me”, and she hadn’t been able to say yes.

She picked up her shoes, dangling them from her thumbs, as she made her way into her room, letting herself collapse onto her bed, her dark hair splayed messily across the crisp white bedspread.

Shutting her eyes, she finally let the possibility into her mind that she’d been trying so hard to deny for the last 30 minutes.

Booth.

Maybe it was the way that he’d looked at her when she told him about their date. But he’d known about Darcy before. Or how she’d seen him out of the corner of her eye when Darcy had come early to surprise her, enveloping her in a tight embrace. How he’d glared at her, angrier then she’d seen him, and strode out of the Jeffersonian without even looking back.

She sighed, running a hand through her tangled hair, as she stood up to try and attempt to unzip her dress.

The feelings about Booth had sprung out of nowhere, and hit her square in the heart. She wasn’t prepared for them, nor did she have any idea what they meant. All she knew was that she had the overwhelming urge to be near him. To let him hold her, wrap his arms around her tightly and never let go.

But that’s what boyfriends were for. And she had one. She didn’t have Booth. Booth didn’t want her. She didn’t want him.

She realized that her heart was racing, just thinking about him. She took a deep breath, trying to bring her pulse down.
Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump.

She was so engrossed the heartbeats, that she finally realized what she was hearing was a fervent knocking on her door. Hurrying to open it, she frowned when she saw Booth leaning on the door frame, looking not at all like himself.

“Booth it’s almost midnight. What are you doing here?” Her heart hammered in her chest as she waited for his response. He only came this late if something was wrong, with by the look of his disheveled hair, hollow eyes, and serious stare, there was.

“I need to talk to you.” His eyes met her’s, and she nodded, letting him in and closing the door behind them.

She turned to look at him, and she could see that he was drinking in the sight of her. She was curious at what was so surprising, and then she realized she was still wearing the short bottle green she’d worn to dinner with Darcy. It clung to her curves more desperately then anything she’d ever worn around Booth, and she knew the fabric made her eyes glow. Booth didn’t look happy.

“What’s up Booth? It’s late…I’m tired.” The excuse was lame, she knew, but with all the emotions concerning him that were storming up in her chest, she didn’t know how long she could stand to be around him.

“Is he here?” She heard the dislike in his tone, but she chose to ignore it.

“Darcy? No he’s not.” She frowned at him, wondering what was so damn important that he wouldn’t look directly at her.

Booth ran a hand over his hair, looking more upset then she’d seen him. He looked directly at her, the intensity in his eyes scaring her slightly. “What are you doing with him Bones?”

She looked at him in confusion. “It’s an antiquated social ritual to gain intimacy called dating Booth.”

He shook his head. “The guys bad news Bones.”

As much as she’d been confused before, now she just felt pissed off. He had no right to say that to her. “You came all the way over here to tell me that my boyfriends ‘bad news’ according to one of your ‘gut’ feelings?” She knew she sounded upset, but she was.

“I don’t think he’s right for you Bones.” Booth’s tone was softer this time, but she felt her anger getting the best of her.

“You have no right to say that to me.” She shook her head angrily, her blue eyes flashing. “You don’t even know him.”

“I don’t like the guy.” He avoided her stare, knowing that it was a crap excuse for the real reason he was here. He wanted to make sure she hadn’t gone home with him. That it wasn’t serious. He couldn’t take that. Falling in love with his partner was not something that was in the FBI handbook. And it said nothing about the pain it was causing him.

She threw her hands up in the air in frustration. “You don’t like him? Oh, well ok, since you don’t like him, why don’t I call him right now and tell him we’re done? Because if you say it, it has to be true.” She shouted at him sarcastically, and Booth could tell she was thoroughly pissed off.

He didn’t respond, as she appraised him angrily, her eyes filled with confusion and hurt.

“Why do you even care Booth? Honestly? Does it kill you that much to see me happy?” She looked at him, her eyes lying. She wasn’t happy and they both knew that. She wasn’t happy, because the only person she could think about when she was with her boyfriend was him.

He sighed, their eyes finally meeting, and she saw how upset he really was. He took a step closer to her, so that they were only inches apart. “You know why I don’t like him? Because it kills me to see you with anybody else. I watch him touch you and my skin crawls. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about anybody else but me kissing you. God, Bones…I’ve fallen in love with you. I tried not to, but I can’t stop.”

It was so silent; Brennan prayed that he couldn’t hear her heart hammering against her ribs. This was too much to comprehend. He loved her. Her intuition hadn’t been off. And in the back of her mind, a small picture of Darcy appeared and vanished as quickly as it had come.

She looked up at him, her crystal clear eyes shining with tears, which she promptly wiped away.

“I don’t know what I feel. I never do. All I know, is that I can’t get you out of my mind Booth. You’re everywhere. I can’t breath. And it doesn’t help that you’re here. Because we can’t do anything.”

He nodded, as he moved closer to her, their lips only centimeters apart. “No we can’t do anything. We’re partners…”

She nodded in agreement, swallowing nervously. “Right partners, and I have Darcy.”

“Right.” He leaned in closer to her, but she looked down, avoiding his eyes. “And it’s dangerous Booth. I mean we couldn’t.”

He nodded, as she continued to look down, his proximity doing things to her that made her want to forget her last words. Her heart was beating rapidly, the only thing keeping her steady.

She looked up at him, and she couldn’t stop herself from catching her lips in his. She couldn’t stop herself from letting their tongues mingle together, and she couldn’t stop herself from sliding her hands over his taut stomach muscles, as he teased kisses down her collar bone. She couldn’t stop herself from helping him remove his t-shirt and jeans.

She didn’t stop him when he reached for the zipper on her dress, or when he pushed her against the door frame kissing her heatedly. She didn’t stop him when he laid her softly on the bed, kissing every inch of her and then joining their bodies the way they were meant to be together. She didn’t stop him when the ecstasy pumped through her veins, and she cried out his name.

Temperance Brennan had always gone for the good guy. The “right” guy. But right now, with Booth, being wrong had never felt so good.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~END FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She could still hear his heartbeat loud in his chest, the calming sound almost enough to lull her back to sleep. That’s all she wanted. To go back to sleep with Booth and forget about the world. About jobs, obligations, and what a horrible cheating person she was. That’d be nice to forget. Just for a second.

Rolling away from him, she turned to the other side of the bed, not able to be so near him. She didn’t know how he could even look at her, let alone hold her in his arms. Their first night together would forever be tainted by the fact that she was unfaithful. And that’s all she could remember about it.

She pulled herself out of the entanglement of sheets, standing up, and stretching lightly. It was already 7:30, she’d usually be at work by now, but right now, she had no energy for work. She didn’t know what she needed.

Running her arms up and down her bare arms, she huddled even farther into Booth’s t-shirt, and the rain caught her eye. She reached out her fingers to touch the cool glass, pressing her face into it, wishing that she could be out there. Out in the turmoil. She closed her eyes, listening to the rain, the glass comforting for her aching heart.

She didn’t even hear him get up to stand next to her, but as soon as he was inches away, she could feel him. She opened her eyes, and he smiled at her.

“Hey.” He leaned down, kissing her hair softly, not seeming to mind that she was still staring pensively out the window.

“I’m a horrible person Booth.” The way she stated it as a fact and not as a question broke Booth’s heart. He couldn’t tell if her eyes were shining from the reflection of the rain in the window, or with unshed tears.

He slid a finger under her chin, turning her to face him, her eyes filled with hope. “Listen to me Bones. People make mistakes; it doesn’t make you a horrible person.”

She swallowed her tears, turning away from him again. “That’s what this is to you. A mistake. We’re a mistake.”

Booth shook his head, “No. You are not my mistake Bones. I know that’s what you’re thinking.”

She glared at him, hating that he knew her so well. “It says in the bible, that one shall not commit adultery. In our culture the act of infidelity is frowned upon. You can’t possibly look at me the same way you did Booth. I’m tainted.”

This time, he turned her whole body to face him, reaching up to trace her jaw with his knuckles, wiping away the tears that she’d allowed to fall. “You’re not religious Bones, so you don’t have to worry about that one. And as for me, I look at you the same way I always did.”

She looked up at him with despairing hope in her eyes. “How?”

“Like you’re the only one that matters.” He smiled at her, and she smiled back weakly at him, leaning up to kiss him softly. He wrapped his arms around her, and she could hear his heart against her ears.

Ba-bump.

Ba-bump.

Ba-bump.

She whispered into his chest. “I can feel your heart beating.”

Booth held her tighter against him, kissing her hair softly, and closing his eyes and nuzzling his face into her hair.

“It’s a good sound.” His fingers found their way underneath her oversized t-shirt, rubbing circles along the soft skin of her back to calm her down.

“Yeah,” She nodded, “Yeah it is.”

He was her lifeline. The only thing keeping her sane. The only thing keeping her heart beating.

Posted 14/10/2007 18:14:09 (14/10/2007 09:14:09 AM) filou

That was really good. Please post the next chapter soon!

Posted 15/10/2007 08:05:59 (14/10/2007 11:05:59 PM) fanofbones

Ok that was perfect.....awwwww sweet and romantic.....
she really should break up with Darcy before he gets any ideas of hurting our man....

off to find more chapters

fab

Posted 15/10/2007 08:20:40 (14/10/2007 11:20:40 PM) A2BOREANAZ

holy crap switch...........you freakin rock.....i love this......more more more

Posted 15/10/2007 08:21:21 (14/10/2007 11:21:21 PM) willgirl

Switch! I totally didn't know you posted! This was such a good chap! So sweet but at the same time a little forboding. And its good to see Brennan struggling with what she's doing. Can't wait for the next!

Posted 16/10/2007 02:46:58 (15/10/2007 05:46:58 PM) Bella Loony

SWITCH!!

I LOVE IT, PLEASE POST MORE SOON!! Can't wait!! LOVED IT!!

BDWSGBL

Posted 16/10/2007 22:15:36 (16/10/2007 01:15:36 PM) gimmeagun

SWITCH!!!!

POST MORE NOW!! I was't asking either...I'm demanding

You write everything so well!! I like how Brennan is struggling with this a little bit. The last part with Booth telling her he see's her like she's the only one that matters was so cute. I can't wait to see where this goes. PPS!!!

Posted 31/10/2007 09:53:06 (31/10/2007 00:53:06 AM) Switch

Finally a new post...yes i know i suck at updating...how i wrote a 26 chapter story last year is insane...i can barely finish one chapter in like 3 weeks...anyways i like this chapter but a warning from here on out...its going to get intense...evil laugh...enjoy... r/r please thanks

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the time she reached the doors to her apartment building she was soaking. It was raining just as hard as ever, and she was stuck just as much as ever, without an umbrella. Although she was wearing Booth’s sweatshirt, which engulfed her completely and hung past her knees, she still shivered involuntarily. Wet cotton was not heat inducing.

Still, she felt comforted by the broken in navy blue sweatshirt. It reminded her so much of him, his clean sweet scent lingering when she breathed in. She felt the familiar safety wash over her as she pulled the sweatshirt on as she felt when she was with Booth. She had been about to leave his apartment when he had pulled the sweatshirt over his head, insisting that there was no way he was letting her out in the rain without a jacket. She hadn’t put up much protest; instead she had smiled, kissed him lightly on the cheek, and told him she’d see him at work in a few hours.

She hadn’t mentioned that she was planning on calling Darcy for coffee. It wasn’t a date. She was going to break up with him. She owned him enough that she could do it in person. Even she knew how cold it was to finish a relationship over the phone. She knew that would be the last straw. All of this guilt and pain was making her sick of herself.

She didn’t feel the need to mention it to Booth. She knew how angry he could get, and that anger would do no good to her or their relationship. She hadn’t done anything wrong. She wasn’t lying. He hadn’t asked, she hadn’t told.

*Great. Now I’m even lying to myself.*

Reaching for her keys as she jogged up the stairs, she contemplated her decision. On the other hand, her seemingly compulsive problem with lying was probably not doing them any good either.

As she was slipping her keys into the doorway, a sudden movement in the shadows made her jump and inadvertently drop her keys as Darcy emerged from the darkness, his face bathed in shade.

Her eyes widened in surprise at his appearance as she bent down to retrieve her keys. His usually wavy hair was messy and dirty, his face unshaven, and his dark eyes bloodshot. There was something off in the way he was appraising her. Even she could feel the eerie chills running up her spine.

“Darcy, what are you doing here?” He approached her slowly, and for the first time she was slightly scared of him. Something about the look in his eyes.

“Did you sleep with him?” Brennan’s face paled. His voice was level, but she could hear the restrained anger, and she instantly knew that he knew.

“What? What are you talking about?” For the possibly the first time in her life she decided that using tact might be the smart thing to do.

He shook his head, a sneer playing on his face. “Don’t play dump with me Temperance. I saw you together. You and that muscle-bound partner of yours. I should’ve known you were screwing him.” Darcy spat out the words.

*I take back everything I said about him being too nice to know. I really am crap at reading people.*

Brennan couldn’t help but let her mouth hang open at him words. She knew there was an expression. Oh, yeah. The shit has hit the fan. That was it. She didn’t want him to find out like this.

*I didn’t want him to find out at all.*

“Darcy, listen, it’s not like that.” Her voice was pleading, but his eyes were still cold. She needed him to forgive her. The impulse inside of her was raging.

“Yeah right, I asked you a simple question, are you sleeping with the guy or not?”

She shook her head. She hadn’t wanted this to happen. She didn’t want to hurt anyone. It was ok if she got hurt. If the pain ate her up inside until she couldn’t breath anymore, but she couldn’t hurt people she cared about anymore.

He looked so angry; she didn’t know how to respond. Part of her felt like coming clean, but the less logical part of her brain was repeating one word, over and over again.

Lie.

Lie.

Lie.

“No, I’m not.” Her stomach dropped dangerously, and she hoped he couldn’t hear her heart hammering in her chest.

He took a menacing step towards her, and it took all her strength to stay put. “You’re lying.”

She held her chin high, looking at him directly in the eye. “No I’m not.” She stated firmly in the strongest voice she could muster. She saw his eyes flash dangerously, and for a second, she almost felt it coming.

He seemed so unbelievably angry as he yelled, “Liar!” Before she even had a chance to comprehend what was happening, Darcy’s fist collided hard with the side of her face, making her stumble back, hot tears stinging her eyes, as the throbbing pain set in on her cheek.

If it had been anybody else but him, she would have been able to block it. But she was so completely stunned; she didn’t know what to do. A million thoughts ran through her mind as her cheek throbbed painfully.

The main one was fear. She’d been hit before. By foster parents who didn’t give a damn how much they hurt her. By kidnappers and murderers. But never by someone who she thought cared about her. It was overwhelmingly painful, like her heart shattering in two.

She took a step backwards her hand shielding her face as silent tears poured down her face.

“Temperance….I’m so sorry.” He reached out, all the anger disappearing from his face, but she wouldn’t meet his eyes, instead she backed farther away until her hand was on the door knob.

“Don’t get near me Darcy.” Her voice didn’t come out stronger then a whisper, but it was as strong as she could muster. She had never been more afraid. She was all alone.

*He could kill me. No one would see.*

The thought was entirely terrifying and unreasonable. Yet she couldn’t help but, grasp the doorknob harder. She knew the amount of testosterone released in an angry male was easily enough to blur the lines between passion and reason.

Although she could see he was upset about his actions, she still saw a flicker of the rage in his eyes. It scared her. “Promise me, you won’t see him anymore.”

She swallowed, turning the doorknob. “Get away from me Darcy.”

His eyes flashed dangerously, as he took a hazardous step towards her. “Promise me.”

She shook her head, trying to seem more convinced then she felt. He took another step forward, but this time she was ready for him, as he raised his hand to hit her again, she turned the doorknob behind her, sliding into her apartment quickly, letting Darcy’s arm collide painfully with the side of the door.

Immediately she slid the chain lock into the door, realizing that she was breathing hard, she covered her face in her hands, leaning her forehead against the door.

He banged his fist against the door in fury, and she could hear his muffled yells of her name as he tried in vain to open the door.

The guilt that had been so overwhelming for the past few months gone. In its place was fear. Fear and sadness and hurt. He had hit her. Physically hurt her. He didn’t care about her. It was all about the game. People who cared didn’t hit each other no matter how angry they got.

She slid down, he back against the door, listening to his fist against the door. It was almost a rhythm, and it faded away slowly. She didn’t know if he was gone. Or if she just stopped hearing it.

She took deep breaths, trying to calm herself down, but she couldn’t stop the her hands from shaking. It was so quiet in the apartment, that all she could hear was the rain. The rain and her ragged breaths. It was so easy to hear her cell phone ringing next to her.

It was easy to pick it up. To read the caller ID saying “Booth”. It could have been easy. But all she could hear were Darcy’s words ringing in her ears.

Promise me, you won’t see him anymore. Promise me. Promise me…

Posted 31/10/2007 10:19:54 (31/10/2007 01:19:54 AM) BGWGscienceteacher

Great chapter, but really tense. Booth is going to be pissed when he finds out. However, I can't wait for Booth to find out, and that way he can KICK DARCY'S ASS! PPS

Posted 31/10/2007 22:47:14 (31/10/2007 01:47:14 PM) gimmeagun

omg that was so good! Is she really considering not answering the phone? WHY? Booth is on the other end and once he finds out what Darcy did he will kick his ass!

So good Switch...I love the intensity if this so far. Im still exicted to see where this goes. PPS!!!

Posted 31/10/2007 22:51:28 (31/10/2007 01:51:28 PM) willgirl

Wow! Boot his going to kick Darcy's ass! Loving the story Switch! Good job!

Posted 01/11/2007 00:58:25 (31/10/2007 03:58:25 PM) Bella Loony

Holy Crapola Switch!! Intense Much?? WOWZA, that was amazing and I can't wait for Booth to kick his ass!! Holy Hannah, just let her pick up the phone!! PICK UP THE PHONE!! You are so good sweetie, SO GOOD!! I can't wait for the next chapter so please post as soon as you can!! Loving it!

Bella

Posted 01/11/2007 01:20:07 (31/10/2007 04:20:07 PM) saraluvzbonz

She'd better either answer the phone, call the police, or go out the fire escape. This is really intense. We need an update soon.

Posted 01/11/2007 05:54:36 (31/10/2007 08:54:36 PM) fanofbones

Holy crap...that was an exciting chapter...
Poor Bren....I can't believe he hit her...
Oh god...poor Booth...he will kill him for sure.
Wow...can't wait for the next chapter girl

fab

Posted 16/12/2007 08:37:51 (15/12/2007 11:37:51 PM) Switch

OMG you guys I am so sorry I am a horrible updater, and I updated this onf FF.net, but I didnt have time to update it here, and I'm super sorry, If you're still reading enjoy.... thanks for all your reviews i really appreiciate them, seriously........ and Bahamas should be updated soon, Im almost on winter break, but my laptop is on the fritz....horrible i know...happy holidays guys smile/dynamic/madnoel.gif

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Chapter 5: Protection

Something in the back of her mind knew it was the wrong thing to do. That little logical part that usually took ruling court over her actions had been pushed away without a second thought. Running seemed the most logical now. Her parents had done it. Her brother had. Her past loves. Why couldn’t she?

She wasn’t exactly running. She didn’t like to think of it like that. It was more like artful hiding. Or dodging. Not avoiding. She didn’t care for that term. But in the back of her mind she knew that was exactly what she was doing.

She leaned over her laptop, for the large coffee mug sitting on the edge of the table in front of her. It was her 3rd coffee in 2 and half hours, and she was trying to drink it slowly for fear the waitress might suspect and addiction when she asked for her next one.

There were much worse things she was addicted to. Like pain. And love. And lies.

There hadn’t been any cases today, thank god, no prehistoric remains to identify, no paper work to fill out. It was slow today. One of those free days. As much as she denied it, sometimes she relished in the lack of structure on those days when she could do whatever she wanted. And today she had free time to write. Granted, she usually found writing in her office more focused, but he would find her there. That was way too obvious.

No today she was sitting on one of the overly stuffed maroon corduroy couches of her favorite downtown loft café. She loved writing here, and she found the pages she turned out while on her fifth Chai Latte were the best. The most human.

And today she had been able to take that to the next level. The things she’d written today were like nothing else she’d written before. The intense feeling of hurt had been able to transfer perfectly on paper, making her characters whole and broken at the same time. It was perfect.

Sighing, she put her laptop down, and took a long sip of her coffee. Despite the soft music playing on the surround sound and the mulling coffee-drinkers chatting on the navy blue futons she had never felt more alone. And the worst part was, she was hiding from the one person who’d do anything to protect her.

But still, she found herself fearing him. While she usually awaited his calls, she had shut off her phone. She knew he’d never find her here, and she was glad. She didn’t want to see him. She was afraid of what he would say. What he would want to do.

And she knew it was completely irrational. Darcy was the one who had hurt her. Who’d physically taken his fist to her face, but she was avoiding Booth. He’d be so disappointed. She didn’t need to put him through that. He had enough problems. And mostly she’d concluded, she usually ended up being another problem.

That’s a depressing thought. But he’d be so much better off without me. I don’t want to hurt him anymore.

She touched the swollen purple bruise above her right temple. It was a painful souvineour of her mistakes. She blinked back tears, thinking about this mornings encounter. As much as she tried to forget it, it was seared in her mind. Darcy’s harsh accusations. Her denial. The way he hadn’t even held back in hitting her. Like she was worthless. She’d only felt like that once before. This overwhelming feeling like she was nothing to no one. When her parents left. God, she had never wanted to go back there, but here she was again. All alone, and no where to turn. Even the bruises were reminiscent of her early foster parents.

“No one cares if you’re hurt. Cry as much as you want, no one will hear you. No one gives a fuck about you. You damn foster kids are all the same. Worthless.” Slam. And then the same painful throbbing as she’d felt today.

She remembered the 1st time so vividly; she had to shut her eyes to stop the harsh words from penetrating her again. They’d hurt more then the physical beating, but it was how she’d learned to be wary. To keep her guard up. And maybe, just maybe, it was why she was so terrified of relationships.

Never had she experienced such a real metaphor to what having a relationship could do to you. They hurt you. Hit you until you cried.

It was then; she did something, based purely on emotion. She didn’t think at all, her pain drove her. And it didn’t stop her even when her heart told her no.

She reached for the phone.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Booth sighed, feeling in a worse mood then he’d been in a while. As if it hadn’t been bad enough he hadn’t been able to get Bones on the phone all day, hitting her voicemail every time, and leaving the lab phone ringing continuously, he’d just had to have an hour long meeting with Cullen discussing his partner’s apparent “lack of safety” in the field.

The squints are all your responsibility. She’s your partner, and its going to be your ass on the burner if she ends up getting kidnapped again Booth. It’s unacceptable.

If only Cullen knew how much of unprofessional protection he offered her. It pissed him off to no end. Booth would never bring Brennan into the field if he thought it wasn’t safe. He killed himself thinking about her multiple near death experiences, but god, he’d give anything to keep her safe, and of course it wasn’t enough for the god damn FBI.

If only the FBI knew how much she was on his mind. How she was the only thing he thought about. Then maybe they’d realize how much time he spent protecting her. That’s why it drove him nuts not getting a hold of her. He knew she could drill herself into the ground like no other, but couldn’t she at least return one phone call to reassure him she wasn’t lying dead somewhere.

He reached for his phone as he sat down at his desk, putting his feet up, and loosening his tie slightly. As he flipped it open, he was surprised to see a missed call from Brennan and a new voicemail. Apparently she cared after all.

He typed in his password, bringing the phone to listen to her message, his face darkening quickly at her words.

He could easily hear the uncertainty in her voice as if she was regretting the call. “Hey Booth it’s me. Listen, I’ve been thinking a lot, and um…” She paused, sighing. “I don’t know how to say this, but I…” Pause again. “I don’t think we should see each other any more…or at least not like this. Darcy and I are done, and I just think that I need a break.” It was quiet for a few seconds, and he could envision her putting her phone down, biting her lip in contemplation. “We should never have started this, it was wrong. And if you can’t work with me anymore, I’ll get a new partner.” Her coldness drove right through him, sending shivers down his spine. He heard what he thought was a quiet sob before she spoke again, her voice softer, more like herself. “I’m so sorry Booth…” And the harsh beep of the dial tone was the last of her before his phone kindly offered to replay the message.

Booth’s face was dark as he put the phone down. The intense mixture of anger and hurt pumping through his veins was giving him the unbearable urge to punch something until his knuckles bled.

He’d been hurt by women before her. More then is male ego cared to admit, but never before had someone who he cared so deeply about, dismissed him over a voicemail. But then again, no one was quite like Brennan. Although she was somewhat of social disadvantage she was sharp, and Booth knew she’d left him the voicemail jus so he wouldn’t be able to catch onto her emotions.

Still it hurt. He knew as much as she denied it, that she cared about him as much or even more then he did for her. She had thrown herself so passionately into their relationship that Booth sometimes feared for her.

Something was wrong. He knew that. Things had been fine this morning. They’d been fine. And then she was breaking up with him. He refused to think she’d chosen Darcy that hurt too much. Despite way he felt for her, blatant anger was clouding him mind.

He looked down at hi watch. 4 . Judging by her tactful avoidance of him, she wouldn’t be at her apartment until at least 8, and she definitely wasn’t at the lab.

He’d wait, but come 8 o’clock, he’d know the truth. He needed it.

Watch out…sometime the truth hurts.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brennan finally got back to her apartment a little before 9 pm. Despite the plethora of emotional and tension filled chapters she’d written, she felt lonesome and wrong. Everything felt wrong.

Dropping her keys on the table, she pulled off her fluffy black hat, catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror, and wincing involuntarily. Although the physical pain had long subsided, it still hurt like hell. She couldn’t take her mind off of it for a second. She just kept going back there, and it was like she was 16 again.

She felt empty. Although scientifically there was no proof that the human body contained a “soul” if she had one if felt like hers had been scooped out and burned clean out of her body. What she’d done. With Booth, it was probably the worst decision of her life. But her instincts were so built in not to look for solace. To either fight herself, or run as fast as she could, that she couldn’t even deal with the thought of facing Booth.

But it wasn’t like this was just going to go away. If he didn’t show up here tonight, which for the first time, she was praying to god he wouldn’t, then eventually there’d be a case. Hopefully enough time would have passed for her bruising to subside, but there’d be so much that was unanswered. But she tried to reassure herself.

This is what Booth needs. A clean break. From me. He deserves more.

She pulled her coat off, wishing that she could just erase the past. Thoughts like that usually didn’t occupy her mind. Logically you couldn’t erase the past, but now…

If she was going to be like her old self, she would have erased sleeping with Booth. Erased both the fleeting pleasure and constant pain it brought her. She would have forgotten what happened between them. Made everything the way that it was. But now all she could think of erasing was Darcy. Darcy, who’d, seemed perfect. But people aren’t perfect. That was one thing she knew for sure. No one was.

The loud violent knocking on her door jerked her out of her thoughts, and for a second she as back there. The horrible banging on the door. His shouts to stop with Booth. How she had listened.

She turned and looked through the peep hole, paling as she saw Booth’s not seemingly happy face outside the door. Why did he have to care about her so damn much?

“Bones open up, it’s me!” She sighed, leaning her back against the door, trying to figure out what to do. She couldn’t face him, her eyes already stung with hot tears thinking about what he was going to say.

She bit her lip as he spoke again. “Bones, I know you’re in there. We need to talk.”

His voice was cold, and it was obvious he had gotten her voice mail. She should’ve known. A plan like that on an alpha-male like Booth. He wouldn’t let her go that easily. His voice softened. “Come on Bones, open the door please.”

She took a deep breath, unlocking the door before she pulled it open slowly, looking at him with as much hurt in her eyes as she saw mirrored in his. His face was pained, and a confused frown etched its way across his face when he took in the large bruise next to her temple.

He stepped inside her apartment, closing the door quickly. He reached out to touch the angry bruise, but she stepped backwards. His statement was blunt and to the point, and it was just what she had been dreading all day. “Bones, who did that to you?”

She shook her head, not meeting his eyes. “I hit my head on the door Booth, I wasn’t looking.”

“Yeah right, god I should have listened to Cullen, did someone jump you Bones?”

She frowned, looking up at him. “What? No, what did Cullen say?”

She thought if she could draw his attention away from her face he would let it go and focus on why she dumped him over the phone. “He was preaching to me about your safety, come on Bones, what happened that looks pretty bad…I can’t believe you wouldn’t tell me.”

The tension between them was thick and she felt like suffocating. He was going to find out. Booth wasn’t an idiot. “I told you Booth, I banged my head on the door. I’m fine. Why are you here?”

She wouldn’t meet his eyes, and the realization dawned on him. It was like a punch to the stomach, his lungs tightened and he felt his fists clench instinctually. Darcy had done this to her. The pieces fit. He’d seen enough bodies that he knew what domestic abuse looked like. The angry purple bruise fit the bill perfectly. Her sudden call. This morning. He shouldn’t have let her go.

The rage pumped through his veins, thinking about that s.o.b laying a hand on Brennan. He hadn’t been able to protect her.

“Darcy did that to you, didn’t he Bones?” His voice was sharp and clear, and she couldn’t bear to look at him. She shook her head.

“No, he didn’t Booth.” She focused anywhere but him, but still she could feel his eyes piercing her.

“He hit you, this morning. After you left my apartment.” She shook her head again, the hot tears brimming, looking down.

“Stop saying that.” Her voice was weaker then she intended it to be, and Booth took a step closer to her, trying to bridge the gap between them.

“Stop lying to me.” She looked up at him, her eyes betraying everything as they shone with tears.

“I’m not lying.” He step forward, taking her forcefully by the shoulders, forcing her to look him straight in the eyes.

“You look me in the eyes Temperance, and tell me he didn’t hit you. Say it to my face, and I’ll believe you.”

She looked up at him, here eyes meeting his, blinking back tears. He was looking at her just the way she’d feared he would. It terrified her. “He found out about us Booth. He saw us together. He was so angry…” She bit her lip, “He didn’t even care that he’d hurt me...”

If he touches her again, I swear to god…I’ll kill him.

Booth reached out, cupping her face in one hand, wiping away the tears with his thumb. He traced up her jaw line, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, before he lightly brushed over her bruises. She saw the pain in his eyes, and it was almost unbearable, knowing she had put that there. She hadn’t wanted that. For him to hurt anymore.

“I was scared Booth…I’m never scared, but…he was so angry…”

He leaned down, kissing her cheekbone softly, then her nose, and brushing his lips ever so softy over the tender skin of her temple. She leaned up, kissing him softly on the lips, wanting to feel the immense amount of safety she had felt waking up with him this morning. It seemed like so far away.

Wrapping his arms around her tightly, he leaned down, his lips tracing her ear lobe softly. “I’ll keep you safe Bones. I promise…I’ll keep you safe.”

She nodded, wanting to feel safe. Protected, like she had. But she felt tainted and far away. Like she was drifting and no one could catch her.

I’m already gone. She leaned into him, nuzzling her head into his chest. Please save me.


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Posted 16/12/2007 22:16:03 (16/12/2007 01:16:03 PM) saraluvzbonz

Another fantastic chapter. I hope that Booth can bring her back.

Posted 17/12/2007 00:21:52 (16/12/2007 03:21:52 PM) fanofbones

another great chapter....
I sure Booth will handle Darcy and get Bren straightened out.....
I really like fics when they show a glimpse of Bren being vunerable and afraid physically....she is always written so tough with the martial arts and all...its always a nice change....
and the best part is manly Booth to the rescue...

more please
fab

Posted 18/12/2007 08:11:17 (17/12/2007 11:11:17 PM) ashangel45-boothsbaby07

wow Switch this is amazing, wonderful...wow..so intense..i love alpha-male overprotective hot booth...great job! love it. bring her back and keep her safe!

=))