Brennan and ....you?" by Gordie

22590.1

Andrew Hacker strode into Angela's office.

Angela was sitting at her desk, holding up a sheet of paper on which she had done a murder victim's sketch .She was holding it up and gazing at it critically, making sure she had everything the way she wanted it, so at first she didn't notice Hacker there, until he cleared his throat somewhat nervously.

"Ahem...Angela?"

"yes Hacker?" Angela said, still gazing at her sketch.

"Listen", Hacker began,"You're Temperance's best friend, right?"

"Mhmmm" Angela agreed, only half paying attention.

"Well, maybe you can help me. Maybe you can hint to Bones that I want to go out with her. In fact...I think I love her, and I was wondering if she might have any feelings for me that she might have mentioned to you....I'd love it if we could be a couple"

Angela looked from her sketch to Hacker's face.

Now, Hacker wasn't what you'd call a homely guy, when his face was in repose, he could even be called handsome, and Angela's artists eye had often appreciated that fact.

However,Hacker's face had a way of dissolving from handsome to ridiculous in an instant...and this was one of those times. He was looking at Angela anxiously and nervously, with a look that seemed to meld the features of a lonely puppy, a scared baby seal, and a carnival clown.She never could understand how this guy could get such ridiculous looks on his face...

Angela looked out into the Jeffersonian through her open office door.
The open doorway happened to be framing a few people standing talking, one of them happening to be Booth. He was chatting, smiling, grinning with that easy unconscious charm he possessed. He caught site of Angela, and threw a nod and grin her way.

It flashed in her mind as she watched Booth do this, that if it wasn't for the fact Brennan was her best friend and Angela would never do anything to hurt her, well, if it wasn't for that, an aweful lot of the time she'd be clamped around Booth like a Venus Fly Trap.....and she wasn't thinking hugs....

Angela giggled inwardly at that thought, then looked at Hacker, with that ridiculous look on his face, then back out at Booth, then back at Hacker..and the giggle threatened to bubble out...

"You......and Brennan...., "Angela said.

"Yeah" Hacker replied, his face making all sorts of rubbery movements, before settling into a big, toothy, stupid looking grin."

"Brennan......and..ah-hum... you...ha-hum.." Angela said.

"SHHHHH!" Hacker said, looking out into the Jeffersonian. "I don't want Booth to hear...."

He looked back at Angela, and she had the sheet of paper held in front of her face so Hacker couldn't see her.....her shoulders were jumping up and down slightly, the sheet was shaking in her hands, and she was making funny noises. Hacker had a fleeting image of Randy Jackson at a really bad American Idol audition doing the same thing as he tried to disguise the fact he was laughing at the terrible singer....

"Are you....laughing at me?" Hacker said in a hurt voice

"Nooooo" Angela replied, getting herself under control, but as she lowered the paper and saw the look on Hackers face....well, she tried to keep control....

"You'd ...hee.....never hear such a thing from me-hee....hee hee....hee hee hee.....heeeheeheeeeeee...heeheeheeheeheeheeheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"....Angela lost it.

Suppressed laughter.....the kind that hits you in a classroom, or a church, or God forbid at a funeral....when it gets loose....there's no stopping it...

And Angela couldn't stop herself....that last long note of laughter just kept flooding out of her...."eeeeeeeeeheeeeeheeeeeeeeee" until she had no air left.....but the laugh just wouldn't stop, and soon she was bent over her desk in a convulsive fit...shoulders jumping....diaphram lurching.....stomach muscles clenching.....

She looked up at Hacker, desperately wanting to breath, saw his face going from one weird and hilarious expression to the next.....and it only got worse...

She was lurching up and down now, arms wrapped around her stomach, bent almost double but still looking at Hacker, , her face red, veins popping out on her forehead, tears streaming down her cheeks, still caught in that convulsion of laughter that she couldn't seem to stop and wouldn't let her inhale.....but tried to drive what little air was left in her lungs out in little plaintive squeaks...

"......hee........hee..................hee...................hee......"

She was gonna die......Angela thought....she was gonna die laughing, and the last thing she'd see was gonna be Hackers ridiculous rubbery face looking at her.......omg...what if he tried to give her CPR? ....what if as he bent down over her and looked down at her..would the skin on his rubbery face hang down like a bloodhounds does?.... that thought drove the last ounces of air from her lungs in more short squeaks as the laughter intensified....oh god...her cheeks hurt....

"heeeeeee.......hee...........hee............hee....."

Hacker took a step toward Angela, he was getting concerned, she didn't seem to be breathing...but as soon as he took that step Angela threw up her hand in a stopping motion...wildly shook her head no.....made that funny squeaking sound again..."hee.......hee" and seemed to laugh even harder..if that were possible...

Angela finally let her head drop to the desk...maybe if she didn't look at him...at the very least, when she died, his face wouldn't be the last thing she saw....bloodhound ...."hee".......heeeeeee"..Oh God....she WAS gonna die....

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, ....Angela was able to inhale...just after one final outward squeak.."hee......she whooped in a lung full of air....looked at Hacker....and lost it again....only this time with a full set of lungs.."HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaa....haaaaaaaaaa........hee.........hee" ...that finally ran out into another empty lunged, squeaking mess....

She tried to talk, but she made the mistake of looking up at Hacker again...thought distantly to herself "no...maybe a Bassett hound"...and it just came out in a high pitched squeak similar to her almost last laugh of before...

"You....hee......you..and.......heeee....youuuu....and...heeeeeeeeheeheeeeheeheheeeee"

Hacker just watched her dissolve into another convulsive squeaky chain of tear soaked laughter,her head on her desk, her shoulders lurching, and said "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea"

As he turned to go,he heard one final, high pitched .."heeeee".... wrenched out of Angela's airless lungs...

Pimp!

You done went and made me feel sorry for Hacker!! Poor, poor Hacker!

...but really, what was he thinking???

that would be my reaction as well, that was brave of Hacker going to Angela- brave but stupid as well- I am sure with her skills she was imaginging all the big headed children they would have