Sorrow in the Soul Spoilers for S4 Finale (Full story)

This one Takes place after the Season for Finale.....Hope you enjoy....You can also find this on FF.net [Only admins are allowed to see this link]

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“Who are you?” Booth looked at Brennan with a blank look in his eyes as he repeated the question once again. “Who are you?”

Temperance Brennan, his partner, had sat by his bedside for the four days he was in a coma, writing in her laptop, reading her story to him out loud as she wrote. She had barely left his side long enough to shower in the bathroom attached to his hospital room, had absolutely refused when each of her friends, Angela Montenegro being the most persistent, had begged, ordered and pleaded with her to go home and get a good night’s sleep. Just stared in awe at her partner, her friend, this man she had come to care for in a way she couldn’t even explain, her eyes beginning to swell with the tears she was not able to force back.

“My name is Dr. Temperance Brennan, I am your partner, we work together. Just hold on one second and I’ll get the doctor.” She smiled weakly at him as she began to back away from him slowly. She managed to hold in the tears until she had turned away from him toward the door to his room. She strode out into the hallway tears burning trails down her face, skimming lightly over her delicate features. She was desperately trying to compose herself, however the shock that he didn’t remember her had hit her harder than anyone could have possibly believed. She knew she had to calm herself or she wouldn’t be able to talk when she found a nurse to ask them to get the doctor for her. She counted backwards silently to herself while reminding herself to take deep breathes while she was walking down the hall towards the nurses’ station.

Finally arriving at her destination she had composed herself enough to speak, however the nurse she saw before her looked at her with such pity before she spoke that she almost had a relapse into tears again. Taking in a deep breath she looked over at the nurse, “Agent Booth has awaken from his coma, however he doesn’t recognize me,” She heard her voice hitch and paused for a moment. “ Please go get his doctor and have him meet me in his room, I don’t know what to do.”

The nurse stood momentarily struck by the pain in the young woman’s voice that stood before her, her eyes red and puffy, still swollen with tears threatening to fall. This woman, who had been by his side since he came out of surgery. Refusing to leave, barely even eating except when her friends came to force her, she was always so strong, every time she had seen her. Strong and determined, and now she looked like a frightened child. Finally coming out of her thoughts she reached out to pat the woman on her hand, “It’s alright sweetie, I’ll page the doctor and then I’ll come back to wait with you.”

The nurse watched as she half heartedly began walking back towards his room. Temperance thought briefly on her way back and knew that she couldn’t go through this, she was losing him in a way that she never would have guessed. The, she heard the voice of her friends in her head, telling her this and that about why she needed to stick it out, if it were her Booth would be there until she came back to him, or try to help her create a new life. With those thoughts she realized she needed to let the friends whose voices were speaking volumes in her head know what was going on, so she paused briefly outside the door to his room and reached into her pocket for her cell phone.

Angela Montenegro jumped up from her bed the second she heard the phone ring, looking at the clock whilst making her way to the formentioned object she noted it was 11:30. She picked up the phone with haste realizing only one person would be calling her at this hour.

“Hey Sweetie, is everything okay?” She asked calmly, knowing it would do no good to get upset before hearing her friend on the line out. Her stomach on the other hand had already began to form knots while waiting for her to respond.

“Ang, he…he woke up,” Brennan stated, slowing her breathing again so as not to sob at the next thing she would have to tell her friend. However before she could continue she was interrupted.

“That’s great sweetie, I’ll be right down.” Angela stated feeling the knots in her stomach loosen considerably. Until she heard a soft sob on the phone as she pulled on her slacks, “Wait if he’s awake why do you sound so upset?”

“He…he..um…well he doesn’t remember me. I don’t know what to do, I’ve had the nurse call for the doctor, who still isn’t here, but I am going to go back in there and see if maybe talking to him a bit will help, or telling him about what happened, or something, I don’t know. I haven’t called anyone else, can you please take care of that for me? I really have to go I want to be in there when the doctor gets here,” She took a long deep breath, it seemed once she had started talking she ws finding it difficult to stop, or even speak slow enough so that Angela could understand.

“Sweetie, you listen to me, I am on my way out the door right now, I’ll be there in 10 minutes. You go in there and just sit with him, answer his questions as simply as you can, and then, when I get there I am going to help you through this. I’ll take care of letting everyone else know, too.”

“It’s not about me Ang.” Brennan repeated the last statement they had heard from her before the surgery. “Thank you, however, I’m sure Booth can use all the help we are able to give, and you are, after all, far better in these circumstances.”

With that Temperance hung up the phone and made her way back into Booths room. As she stepped forward into the room he eyed her cautiously from his now upright position on the bed. She eyed him tentatively as she approached.

“Hi,” She spoke softly and cautiously and forced a soft smile to grace her features. He still looked at her with blank eyes, filled with confusion.

“Hi,” He started, “You said you were a doctor right? But you also said you would get the doctor?” He paused, showing confusion still.

“Yes, I am a doctor, but not a medical doctor. We can worry about all of that later. I had the nurse page your doctor and he should be here soon. “ She paused to look at him trying to discern if he understood before continuing, all the tears she had earlier now gone as she was only concentrating on helping her friend. “If you have any questions you want to ask, you can, I just don’t know if I’ll be able to answer them for you.”

Temperance looked up into his eyes and they seemed to have softened a little, he was slowly coming to grips that he must somehow know this woman. He continued to just look at her until the nurse came bustling, “Ah Mr. Booth, you’re finally awake.”

The nurse glanced briefly at Dr. Brennan and then back at Booth, “I’ve paged the doctor and he’ll be here shortly to talk to you about what is going on, Dr. Brennan here already informed me of your memory loss and I let the doctor know.”

She moved closer to the bed to check his vital and he flinched away from her touch. Brennan noticed and caught his eye, “It’s okay Booth, she’s a nurse here at the hospital, just checking on you. I promise you, she won’t hurt you.”

He didn’t seem completely reassured by this, however he let her go about checking his pulse and blood pressure. He looked from Brennan to the nurse as she finished her exam. “I’ll go check to see where the doctor is.” The nurse stated as she bowed out of the room.

Seconds later, one Angela Montenegro came rushing into the room almost out of breath. She looked the Brennan, then cast a sad look towards Booth, back to Brennan she stated, “Got here as fast as I could, still no doc?”


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Brennan, her eyesight blurry due to the accumulation of moisture she was fighting back, blinked hard a few times before opening her mouth to speak to Angela, “No, he’s been paged though, should be here soon,” She turned to face Booth, “Booth, This is Angela Montenegro, she a friend of ours.”

He glanced back and forth between the two as Angela approached him, “Hey sweetie, you doing okay?”

“umm…well, I don’t know. I just don’t know.” He looked sad and confused, about ready cry himself. “ I well, I just can’t seem, I mean, I don’t know who…..” With that he voice simply trailed off.

Angela, now fighting tears of her own inhaled sharply and spoke in a soft comforting tone, “I know sweetie, and it’s going to be okay. We’ll figure everything out when the doctor gets here.”

As if on cue Dr. Jersik entered the room, looking slightly disheveled, but managed to give Brennan a reassuring smile. “Well, Hello Agent Booth, I’m Dr. Jersik, I performed your procedure. Dr. Brennan here told the nurse that you didn’t recognize her, is that correct?”

As the doctor looked down at Booth expectantly he saw the man look towards Brennan before returning his gaze, “Yes,” he said in a tone that almost sounded like he was ashamed for not knowing who she was, “I…I can’t remember. I don’t remember any of you,” he glanced around the room his sable eyes shone so much pain in then Brennan had to fight hard not to step towards him and take his hand, or pull him into an embrace as he had done so many times to her when she needed it. However she thought that it might make him feel worse if she did, so she firmly held her ground a few feet away from the foot of his bed. Angela wrapped her arm around her friend to comfort her.

“Bren, why don’t we let Booth have a minute alone with the doctor, you come outside with me and get a cup of coffee?” She pleaded hopefully.

As Brennan turned to face Angela she felt the tears she had held in begin to stream once again down her cheeks, Ange grabbed her arm and shuffled her out of the room quickly.

“Sweetie,” she began, however Brennan just stood there, staring off down the hallway, looking at nothing at all, Angela knew she was shutting down, pulling completely within her own mind, so she shook her friend to jolt her back to reality, “Sweetie, listen to me, he’s gonna be fine, we will get through this, you will get through this.”

Brennan glanced up at her and stifled a sob, “Now Sweetie, we are going to go and get some coffee, you are going to calm down before I let you go back in there.”

Taking Brennan’s arm she led her toward the lounge area where the vending machines were, “Now sweetie, we have to be strong for Booth, he’s gonna need us.”

Brennan’s face shot up to look at Angela’s, “Don’t you think I know that? I’m trying, he doesn’t even know who I am, how can I help him if he doesn’t know me? Doesn’t trust me?”

“Bren, when he woke up yours was the first face he saw; he’ll probably be more comfortable with you than anyone else. He may not remember who you are, but the connection that the two of you share, I’m sure that he’ll feel it, if he doesn’t already. I mean didn’t you notice when the doctor asked him a question he looked to you before he answered?”

Brennan sat contemplating this, her hands around the cup of coffee Angela had handed her, eyes drilling into the hot liquid as she thought. Finally, she nodded as she spoke in an almost inaudible whisper as she began to understand the meaning behind what her friend was saying, “The center must hold”

With those four words Dr. Temperance Brennan broke out into tears and was unable to hold back her sobs for the first time that evening. Angela sat beside her friend, wrapping her arms around her and spoke in the same quiet reassuring voice she had used on Booth earlier, “shhh, sweetie, it’ll be alright you’ll see.”

After about ten minutes of Angela reassuring and Brennan trying to put an end to the tears, finally she was successful in doing so and removed herself gently from Angela’s grasp, “Thanks Ange, we should get back before the doctor leaves, I don’t want him to be alone.”

Angela nodded and got to her feet, “Yeah, come on Bren.”

They walked down the hall Angela draping her arm around Brennan’s Shoulders. When they reached the door to his room the doctor was just on his way out and looking around, “Oh good, I was about to go looking for you. I have explained to Mr. Booth that the amnesia may be temporary as a result of the brain surgery or even from his reaction to the anesthesia.” He paused a moment to look at them, wishing he had better news to give the distraught looking pair, “However it may be permanent. The best thing for him to do at this point is to stay here and recover, take one day at a time, and see the faces that should be familiar to him.”

Once again he paused as he looked directly at Brennan, “Dr. Brennan, you were the one he wanted with him in the surgery, he trusted you, you haven’t even left the hospital once since he came in, you are going to be the one that needs to reach out to him. The more you talk to him, be with him, the faster his memories should come back, if it is temporary. I understand that you should be getting back to your life, to your job, to your home to get some rest now that he is awake, but the more you are able to visit the better.” He glanced between the two women.

Brennan reached out her hand to shake the doctors, “Thank you Dr. Jersik, I understand. I’m not going anywhere.”

Dr. Jersik gave Brennan a slight smile as her watched her once again enter the room, then he reached out to stop Angela, “Miss, is there any way you can convince her to go home and rest up? This is not going to be an easy recovery, and… well she’s already been here for four days. I’m not sure if she can take much more.”

Angela gave a disheartened grin, “Doc, I’m sorry. I know you’ve had to deal with her the last foud days, so you know how stubborn she is. I can try, but I don’t think I can convince her.”

“Very well, thank you.” He replied as he turned to walk away. Angela looked at her watch, 4:39 am. She breathed a sigh as she returned to Booths room and found her friend sitting in the chair she had placed beside the bed.

“Hey,” Brennan whispered softly towards Booth with a comforting smile playing at her lips.

“Hey,” he replied, looking in her direction, then in the direction of the newly arrived Angela. He looked so lost and helpless, it really was a heartbreaking site to see the usually headstrong, determined man looking that lost. She wanted to reach out and hold him, comfort him, but she knew that would be a mistake, it might even make things worse.

Angela pulled a chair over next to Brennan’s, “Well sweetie, I still haven’t called anyone else, since it was the middle of the night you know. So I thought I would give them until 5:30 and start making calls. I did think, however, that you might want to be the one to call Rebecca. I know she came to see him the other day and you guys got to talking, and she would want to know.”

Booth watched her as she spoke, “Who’s Rebecca?”

Temperance pondered exactly how to answer this question, “She, um, well you two used to date years ago. You um…. You have a son together.” She glanced at Angela who gave her an encouraging nod, “His name is Parker.”

She reached into her bag and pulled out a photo, “See,” handing the photo to Booth, “This is him, your son.”

Tears welled in Booth’s eyes at this new found information, “I can’t remember my son?”

Brennan tried desperately not to tear up along with him, “It’ll be okay Booth, it will. We are going to do everything we can to get you your memory back, I’ll help you any way I can. If it’s alright with you, I would like to stay with you here while you’re in the hospital, be here to help you. Maybe tell you some things that have happened and hopefully jog your memory…” She made herself stop her babbling when she realized she was once again spouting words out far too quickly and rambling all the way due to her nervousness of what he would say to her proposal of staying with him.

“ I’m guessing I don’t really have a choice on that one,” His voice was soft and there was the slightest hint of a grin on his face, “The doc told me you’ve been here since I got here, you were in the operating room with me, and haven’t left my side. I kinda get the feeling from what he told me you are very important to me, I mean why would you stay here for days if you weren’t?”

“”Well you are important to me Booth, I wanted to make sure you were okay, make sure someone was here when you woke up. We’re partners, partners are there for each other.” She smiled shyly back at him, hoping she hadn’t divulged too much of herself.

Angela watched the exchange between the two and felt her heart melt a little more, it was so sweet, not what it had been before, but the feelings were obviously still there, even if they were both labeling them as ‘care’ instead of ‘love’. They had to start somewhere, and admitting anything at all gave Angela hope.

Angela came back into the room at about 6:45 after calling the rest of the team and Dr. Sweets to inform them of what was going on. They had promised to be by later, devised a schedule so that Booth would not be overwhelmed with them all coming at once. Everyone had asked how Bren was holding up, however there local psychologist seemed far more interested than the rest. Ange had told them that she was holding up as well as could be expected and left it at that, even when Sweets started to pry.

“Hey Sweetie, do you wanna go give Rebecca a call? I’ll sit with him.” She smiled.

Brennan looked over at the now sleeping Booth, “Yeah I guess this would be a good time to do that, she should be up getting Parker ready for school by now anyway.”

Brennan stood her gaze still lingering on her sleeping partner. Angela came and put and arm around her shoulder, bracing Brennan’s arm with the other giving her a light squeeze. “It’ll be alright you know.”

“Yeah,” Bren muttered under her breathe, still not believing it to be true. She hoped though, she really hoped that this would be alright, she hoped that it was a result of the anesthesia and would wear off and he would be back to normal, however she still couldn’t allow herself to believe it.

Brennan walked down the hallway towards the lounge and pulled out her cell phone, scrolling down the list of numbers and stopping on Rebecca’s, she pressed the call button warily, she really wasn’t good with people, and wasn’t sure she could be tactful relaying this information.

“Hello?”

“Hi Rebecca, It’s Temperance.” Brennan relayed all the information she had on Booth, apologizing for something she knew wasn’t actually her fault, but still felt it needed to be said. She heard a sharp intake of breath and then Rebecca began to speak softly.

“Temperance, I’m so sorry, I know this is hard for you.”

“It is, but you don’t need to be sorry. He’ll get through this.” She stated, trying to make the words true by saying them in such a firm blatant manner.

“I know, he will, he’s dealt with a lot in his life, this is just one more thing. I don’t think I’m going to bring Parker to see him just yet though, I think that if I did it would break his heart that his daddy doesn’t know who he is,” She spoke in hushed tones, probably trying to stay out of earshot of the 7 year old.

“I know what you mean Rebecca, although could you perhaps come by the hospital and drop off some pictures of Parker, or home movies? Anything really to give Booth a chance to process. The doctor says as long as we don’t overload him too fast pictures, stories, and the like should help him regain his memory faster.”

“Of course, and thank you for taking care of Parker’s daddy, it means a lot.”

“ I wouldn’t be anywhere else. So I’ll see you later on then?”

“Yes, I’ll drop Parker off, then come back home to gather some things to bring. Bye.”

She started to put her phone back into her pocket, thinking about how Rebecca had always argued with Booth, they never saw eye to eye. Brennan used to think she was heartless, keeping Parker from Booth all too often. In the days since the surgery she had seem another side of Rebecca, a more caring side. They had actually talked a number of times and now had a mutual respect for the other. She was glad that Rebecca had been less abrasive in the last four days, it made the situation a little easier anyway.

She made her way into the room to find Dr. Jack Hodgins sitting in the seat she had been in minutes before, “Jack, hi.”

“Hey Dr. B.” He stood and approached her, embracing her in a comforting hug. “How are you holding up?”

She looked at him quizzically, “Holding up? I’m not holding anything up?”

“It means how are you doing Bren,” Angela supplied.

“oh,” She glanced over at Booth eyes filled with concern before returning her gaze to Hodgins, “I’m fine. Booth will be fine, everything will be fine.” She however was not as certain as her tone, she wasn’t really sure if she was saying the words to make herself believe them or the others in the room.

They all glanced to Booth, then back towards one another. Jack spoke first, “Well Dr. B, you need anything, I mean anything, you let me know, night or day. I want to be here to help if I can, I mean, Booth’s a great guy, good friend.”

“Yes,” She conceded, “Yes he is.”

“Well, Ange tells me you guys haven’t eaten, and you’ve been up all night. How about I go pick us all up some breakfast?”

Brennan opened her mouth to decline his offering of food, however he once again spoke first, “You gotta eat, gotta keep your strength up. It could be a long road ahead.”

He smiled as he headed out the door to get breakfast. The day moved on like this, Hodgins brought breakfast, told Booth a few stories, then left for work with Ange. Rebecca came and dropped off some photos and a home movie of Parker shortly after which Brennan watched with Booth. Sweets came in around lunch with Wong Foos, talked to Booth and Brennan. He hadn’t pried too much into how it was effecting her, for that she was thankful. Then Cam and Angela came later in the evening to talk and eat, as they too had brought food. They even brought Booth a piece of apple pie from the diner. Cam told him tales that were amusing to them, and they all laughed. It was so good to hear his laugh.

Cam and Angela finally decided it was time for them to leave at around 9:00, as Brennan looked about ready to pass out in her chair. Angela touched her arm to stir her.

“Hey Sweetie, we’re gonna go, please call me if anything happens, if you need anything,” She smiled at her friend and pulled her into a hug. Even am came over and gave her a quick squeeze, then turned to Booth.

“That goes for you too Seeley, if you need anything, call. Anytime.” She smile while shrugging on her jacket.

“Thank you both,” Booth said with a smile.

After they left he turned to Brennan, “Looks like you could use some sleep too, why don’t you go?”

The hurt reflecting in her eyes startled him as he spoke, he almost wished he could figure out a way to explain to her that it wasn’t that he didn’t like her or wanted her to leave, but that she needed rest.

“Booth, I’m fine, besides, I told you I wasn’t leaving.” She tried to smile through the hurt, “unless you would prefer I go that is.”

“No,” he stated, “I just know you need to rest too.”

“Well the hospital brought in a cot for me, since they knew I wouldn’t leave, so I will rest,” She smiled, the first real smile she had smiled since he had woken. He still cared, that lifted her heart and made her feel so full of hope.

“Well then,” he smiled, “I guess this is goodnight Dr. Brennan.”

“Goodnight Booth,” She stated as she turned the light in the room off and made her way to the cot to lie down without even bothering to change. She was exhausted, and within minutes fast asleep.

Chapter 5 & 6

Seeley Booth remained awake awhile longer as he peered at Temperance Brennan through the darkness, his thoughts trying to process everything that had been happening. Who is this woman who cares so much for me? I can’t remember her, can’t remember anything, but she is the constant. Always here, always askng what I need from her. She is beautiful, he mused silently, I just wish I could remember the connection, there was obviously something, or she wouldn’t still be here.

Booth shifted in the darkness and began to look up towards the ceiling. With a long sigh he let his thoughts shift to those of Parker. His son. It still hurt him so much to think that he had a child he couldn’t remember. His last thoughts were of Parker as he drifted off to sleep.

Brennan awoke at 6:00 in the morning to find Booth still fast asleep. She let her gaze settle on him. He looked so peaceful, calm. All she wanted was for this ordeal to end, she knew it hurt him terribly not to remember, especially Parker. She didn’t want him to go through this pain, she wasn’t sure how much more she could take. The pain she felt was terrible, he’s alive, he’s here, but not here at the same time. It was a pain that was almost intolerable. The only thing that kept her from running to the other side of the world to a dig was the fact that she knew he needed her to get through this. Even if he couldn’t remember.

As Booth stirred she averted her gaze towards the window, not really looking at anything, just staring blankly, hoping he wouldn’t see the fear and the pain his was causing her, it was the last thing he needed. She had resigned herself to be strong for him, and was very determined to see it through.

“Hey,” He called out from behind her, pulling her from her thoughts. She put a small smile on her face before turning to face him.

“Hey, you’re up early.” Her smile never faltered.

“Me? Looks like you were up first.” He quipped with a grin.

Seeing his grin made her smile enlarge, “Yes, however, I always wake up this early. You usually sleep in until the alarm or a phone call wakes you. I believe you say something about beauty sleep.”

“Well if the amount sleep you get has anything to do with beauty, you must get a lot.” He mused, although was immediately taken back by her expression of surprise. “I’m sorry, I guess I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No,” She was quick to speak up, “No it’s fine, I’m just surprised that you would say that. You didn’t usually..um…talk to me like that before.”

“Well that’s a shame, I was kinda starting to hope the reason you were so intent on staying was that we were more than friends.”

Her smile brightened at that, even though she was fighting trying to keep her smile in check, “We were, are, close friends, work partners, nothing more. We have a line.”

His disappointment showed on his face at her statement and she had to turn away, she almost felt that she was being given classified information that she shouldn’t know. Then her mind processed why. Of course his brain, not knowing how he had stepped in front of a bullet to save her, or the other innumerable things he had gone out of his way to help and protect her to do, would look at the situation and see that she cared deeply for him and just jump to that conclusion. Even with all of the stories her and the ‘squints’ had shared with him, he still did not have all the evidence.

Turning back to him and walking closer to his bed, “ I know it’s confusing, but really we weren’t more. Angela may tell you otherwise, but don’t listen to her, she’s been doing that for years” She quipped trying to lighten the mood as the air had grown thick between them.

“Oh,” He stated,

Just then Sweets came into the room, “Good Morning!” He stated enthusiastically, setting down the bag of muffins and cup holder of coffee he was carrying on Booth’s bedside table.

“I brought breakfast, How you doing today Agent Booth? Dr. Brennan?”

“I’m doing ok, kid. You?” Sweets exchanged a quick glance with Brennan, before turning back to Booth.

“I’m good,” He quickly thought about Booths play on words using the ‘kid’ reference that he used to do on a regular basis, a wide smile drew across his face, “I was wondering if I could talk to you for a moment Dr. Brennan? Outside?”

She looked to Booth who was engrossed in his coffee, “Sure Sweets. I’ll be right back Booth, we won’t be gone long.”

“Sure I’ll be fine.” He muttered as he began to grab a muffin from the bag Sweets had brought, however before they had reached the door he looked sternly at Sweets, “Don’t you go upsetting her Sweets.”

“Of course not,” was Sweets only reply, then he ushered Brennan out into the hallway.

Once the door had closed he looked to her, trying to contain his excitement, “Did you hear that? He called me kid. It may be that he’s slowly remembering things subconsciously,” Worry that he had misread the gesture shown clearly in her eyes, she really did not want to get her hopes up over something so small, “This is a good thing, “ He reassured her, “Plus he’s getting all protective of you again, ‘Don’t go upsetting her’ ? Classic Booth. There is hope Dr. Brennan, just allow yourself to see it.”

“Sweets did it ever occur to you that maybe, you look like a kid and that’s why he said it? “ She replied haughtily, “and as far as his concern for me, he is and will always be a good man who doesn’t want to see anyone hurt, I’m sure that is all he meant by it.”

Sweets sighed, “Dr. Brennan, just let yourself have a little hope, that’s all I’m saying. Have you told him what he called you? ‘Bones’?”

“Don’t call me Bones,” She stated loudly as she turned to once again enter the room. The pain that shot through her when Sweets had said Bones was almost unbearable. She had longed to be called Bones again in the last couple of days, but not by Sweets. If Booth had said ‘Bones’ when talking to her, instead of ‘kid’ when talking to Sweets she would have seen that she had hope, but her nickname was not the one uttered by him.

Brennan let out a ragged breathe trying to force the tears that had begun to well back, then steadied herself before pushing open the door to her partner’s room. Sweets just watch not daring to say anymore, then followed her in.

Booth, noticing it was her coming through the door gave her a wide grin, “So what did the kid want? Trying to get me back in therapy already?” He chuckled.

Brennan felt her heart sink as he made yet another comment regarding Sweets that seemed to come from his memories as opposed to what he had been told, as none of them had mentioned that Sweets was their therapist before to him, she just smiled with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes as Sweets began to speak.

“Actually, Agent Booth, that’s exactly what I’ve been thinking. So what do you think? You up for a session with me a week? I mean it could help you begin to regain more memories faster.”

As had been his instant reflex when being asked questions his eyes immediately sought out Brennan’s, asking her with his eyes what she thought. She nodded slightly and he turned back to Sweets, who hadn’t missed the silent interaction. Sweet’s grin widened at this, “Sure kid, if you think it’ll help.”

“Okay,” He stated, however he knew Agent Booth had only agreed because Brennan had thought it would help, or at least she had given Booth the inclination that she thought it would. “Why don’t we start tomorrow, that’ll give me time to clear it with the Bureau.”

“Sure Sweets.” He looked to Brennan, “You’ll be there too right? I mean I don’t think I could do the therapy thing alone, would be weird without ya.” He grinned.

Brennan was slightly taken aback by this, as it really was starting to sound like he remembered something, but forced a smile on her face once more, “Of course I’ll be there if you want me there.” Then turning to face Sweets, “That’s alright, right?”

The way she was looking at him, so imploringly, he knew that there was no way he could refuse the request even if he had planned on it, “Sure Dr. Brennan.”

Booth sat, his gaze fixed on Brennan for a full minute before Sweets decided he should go. However he decided to try and speed things along a little, see if a key word that was close to the agents heart, whether he admitted it or not, might trigger something. Even if it was used out of the context that it was usually associated, “Okay, so I’m going to get out of here. Although, Dr. Brennan, I was wondering, have you decided when you were going to go back to work and start playing with bones again?”

She glared at him, knowing what he was trying to do, “ Dr. Sweets, first of all, I DO NOT play with bones, I study them, secondly I do not appreciate the attempt at manipul….”

Her voice stopped abruptly as Booth began to interject, “Awe, give the kid a break Bones. He’s only trying to help.”

All eyes went wide as they settled on Booth, whose eyes went just as wide when he realized what he’s said, it just came out, without even thinking about what he was saying. He immediately started to apologize due to the looks he was getting, he really felt he had said something wrong, “Oh…I am so sorry, I don’t know why I said that. It just came out, I didn’t mean any disrespect.”

He saw her eyes beginning to fill with tears as she shook her head unable to speak for fear her voice would crack. Sweets on the other hand was quick to jump in and offer an explanation, “No Agent Booth, you didn’t do anything wrong,” just then Brennan slipped past him and out of the room to steady herself, “You always call Dr. Brennan ‘Bones’, ever since you started working together. I have rarely heard you refer to her as anything else unless you were introducing her to someone else.”

“oh” Booth tried to understand, “So should I keep calling her ‘Bones’ instead of her name?”

“I think that would be appropriate.” Sweets grinned.

“umm..Do you know where she went? I think I upset her and I really don’t think she should be alone….I just wish she’d come back.” He looked genuinely concerned.

“She’ll be fine Agent Booth, sometimes she just needs to step away for a moment, this has been hard on her, I’m sure she feels like she’s lost you. She’s coming to terms.”

Booth nodded, “So we shouldn’t go after her?”

Sweets shook his head and was about to say something when the doctor came in to check Booth over. Sweets excused himself, promising to send Brennan back when he found her. Hoping that she hadn’t run too far.

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Brennan had left the room hastily, however had managed to keep herself from running, that is, until she reached the hallway, she sprinted towards the elevators. She had to get outside, needed fresh air, but most of all had to calm down. She was frantically wiping tears from her face as she ran straight into someone, who grabbed her shoulders to steady her, “Whoa, Tempe, are you okay.”

Gazing upwards her tear streaked face came to find a disheveled looking Jared Booth looking down at her, “Yes, I’m,” Struggling from his grasp, “Fine, Jared, Fine.” She offered him a half-hearted smile.

“Tempe, you don’t look fine, what’s going on?,” Sundenly his features darkened, “Oh god, he’s okay right?”

“Yes,” she was quick to respond, “He’s slowly remembering things, he just doesn’t realize he is. Look Jared, I’ve got to go outside, get some air.” She began her way to the elevator again, pressing the button when she reached it. Jared following her.

“What do you mean remembering things but doesn’t know it? That makes no sense.”

“He..He called me ‘Bones’, then apologized like it was wrong, and he’s been making comments that just seem like he remembers okay?” Her eyes began to well up with tears again and Jared pulled her into a tight embrace.

“It’s ok Tempe. He’ll get there. My brother is nothing if not persistent.” Just then the elevator doors swung open and she removed herself from Jared’s grasp, entering the elevator and pressing the button to the main floor.

Jared promptly entered the elevator after her, “I’ll just go down with you, keep you company, ya know?” He gave her a warm smile.

“Thanks, Jared. I don’t know that I need company, but thanks for the concern.”

They rode down in silence, when the elevator stopped and the doors opened Jared placed his arm around Brennan and led her towards the double doors that marked the exit.

She thought about pulling away from his gesture of comfort, but found she was too emotionally drained to put forth the effort. They went and sat next to one another on a bench just outside the hospital entrance. Both sitting in silence, as Jared kept stealing worried glances at her, which she chose to ignore.

They hadn’t been sitting there five minutes when Sweets had come up to them, “Dr. Brennan, “ he started, but then he noticed Jared Booths presence as well and acknowledge him briefly before continuing to talk to Brennan, “Agent Booth’s really worried he upset you, wanted me to get you to go back in. Oh and when I left he was with his doctor, from the sound of it they are talking about possibly releasing him soon.”

Brennan jumped up without a word and dashed back into the hospital to get to his room, Jared Booth tailing right behind her.

Chapter 7 & 8

Brennan finally slowed herself a few feet from his room, she stopped outside the door to catch her breath a little. Jared was still right behind her. Once she calmed her breathing enough to enter without causing him any alarm she turned the doors handle and took a few steps into the room. All the wires that had previously been attached to him, had been monitoring him, were gone. He had been standing looking out the window until he heard her approaching and turned to look at her.

“Hey Bones, guess what?”

She was slightly taken aback at hearing him call her ‘Bones’ again, but she forced a smile on her face as he continued.

“The doc says I can go home, he wants someone there with me, but you know, I can leave the hospital, just as soon as I find someone who’s willing to put up with me.” He grinned and then noticed Jared standing behind her. “Jared?” He asked questioningly.

His brother had a huge grin splayed across his face, “What you want me to stay with you?” He chuckled.

“Well, I’m told you’re my brother,” He said sarcastically, but then noticed that Brennan’s eyes were saying something very different than the smile she had on her lips. He saw the hurt and the pain in her eyes, “I figured maybe you could give Bones here a break for a bit, I’m sure she’s getting tired of me by now.”

“I’m not tired of you, but I do think it’s a good idea Jared stay with you, he’s been living in a hotel since he got back from India, so it’s kinda killing two aves with one rock.”

Booth and Jared looked at each other had stifled a laugh, “It’s birds and stone, Bones, Two birds one stone.”

“oh…” She looked down briefly as Booth walked over to her.

“Hey, don’t look so down, you know you would always be welcome too. I’m sure Jared would welcome any help you were willing to give.” Her gaze came up to meet his, there they stood for a moment, locking eyes almost as through everything was normal. His gaze staring straight into her made her feel as if nothing had changed, he was still Booth and remembered everything. She knew it wasn’t the truth, but he was looking at her in the same way he had before whenever they had shared these glances in the past. However her reverie was broken by the sound of Angela’s voice as she came through the door and they both turned to look at her.

“Hey Sweetie how are you feel..” Her voice broke off, but she relised she was too late as there eyes both fixed on her, she damned herself silently for breaking there moment, then covered for herself quickly as she realized she had stopped mid sentence “Oh, you must be feeling better, you’re out of bed and without moniters.” She smiled brightly.

“Hey Ange, Yeah, feeling much better,” He glanced to Brennan briefly and then took a few steps toward the bag Angela had brought from his apartment a few days before, pulling out some clothes he headed to the bathroom to change.

“Hey Jared.” Angela smiled at him.

“Hi Angela, how’ve you been?”

“Good, so what’s going on with the moniters gone and him up and getting dressed? He busting out or something?” Her gaze shifted from Jared to Brennan as she asked.

“He’s been cleared to leave, provided someone stay with him. He’s asked Jared to come stay with him for a bit, to help get him back on his feet.” She heard just a tiny bit of sadness in her friends voice as she spoke, obviously trying to hide it.

“Oh sweetie, that’s great that he’s getting out. Can’t imagine Jared having to stay though, since I know you won’t leave his side, I mean you literally living at the hospital for the last week or so kinda proves that.” She chuckled softly, meeting her friends gaze, imploring her to seize the moment and just go with it.

“I’m not going to but in anymore Ange, if he wanted me to stay with him he would have asked. Being released from the hospital means the doctors no longer think he is in danger and, as Sweets said, I should probably think about going back to work soon. “

“Sweets said what?” Angela gasped, “I’m going to have a talk with that boy! Besides Bren, Cam already said you had no business coming back for at least two weeks. She knows you’ll only be distracted if you do.” He friend pushed. Jared stepped back and tried to blend into the background as the friends conversed.

“Fine Ange, I won’t go back to work then” She conceded. Of course I’ll be distracted, she thought, my partner doesn’t know who the hell I am, everyone would ask me how he was, how I was all day and I would get nothing done. If they would all just leave me alone I would be fine.

Booth chose that moment to come out of the bathroom, He had heard her statement about not going back to work and he realized he had grinned at her statement. “So did I hear you right? The work-a-holic isn’t going back to work?”

She tensed at his statement, it sounded so much like something he would have said before, and who had told him she was a work-a-holic? “Cam has decided I need two weeks off.” She stated, his grin slowly easing her tense state.

“Well, you know you’re always welcome to come over. I mean, “ he paused, “I would really like it if you did. Jared may be my brother, but you’re company is, well, very nice too.”

“Thanks Booth,” She smiled at him, “So when are they letting you out? I’m sure there is paperwork that you need to complete first.”

He walked over putting an arm around her and leading her towards the door, “Done already, I can leave now.”

She had tensed under his grip briefly, but now she was almost leaning into it. Jared glanced at the two of them before grabbing his brother’s bag as he and Angela followed them out the door.

When they got into the elevators Jared turned to look at Brennan, “Hey Tempe.”

“Yeah”

“Would you mind coming over too? I mean, you know his place better than I do, and can help him get situated and such. Plus if he really wants me to stay I should go get my stuff from the hotel.”

“Sure Jared,” Her reply was automatic, but as Booth looked into her eyes he saw the pain that statement brought her. He was trying to figure out whether it was the fact that she was tired of spending time with him or if she was sad at the thought of leaving him when he was poked in the side by Angela. He looked at her and she motioned him over to the back of the elevator. He subtly left Brennan’s side, which Jared immediately took up in his absence, and went towards Angela. He almost felt a rush or fear or anger the moment Jared got close to her, but he shook it off.

Angela whispered quietly in his ear, “She doesn’t want to leave you, you know? She thinks you are tired of her.”

He looked at her for a moment with a sense of awe, how could she know what he had been thinking? Then he realized that this was the artist who had come into his room time and again after surgery and seemed to pick up on everything anyone was feeling. He put his arm around her in an awkward one armed hug and whispered back, “Thanks Ange.”

When they got to the parking lot and said their goodbyes, Booth told Jared he would ride with Brennan and would see him back at his place. As Brennan led him towards her car he snaked an arm around her, which to her surprise she didn’t even make an attempt to shrug off. She just smiled and led the way. They got to the car and she unlocked it.

“Can I drive?” He said with a grin. She looked so shocked that he chuckled a little.

“No you cannot drive!! You just had brain surgery!”

“Oh, come on Bones, I always drive.” He grinned even wider realizing he just had another flash of his old memory.

“That, is because we usually go in your vehicle. Today we are in mine.” She said sharply before it hit her that he remembered something that they had not yet discussed. “Wait, I didn’t tell you about that!”

His grin was still shining brightly as he nodded at her in acknowledgement of what had occurred. She couldn’t help it, she was excited that he remembered something, and she pulled him into a hug, which triggered yet another flash of memory for him. “I thought we only hugged when you got scared? What we hug when you are happy now too?” He chuckled happily.

“I guess sometimes we do.” She gave him the first real smile he had seen that day.

“Well then I’ll just be sure to keep you happy from now on.” He stated and immediately wished he hadn’t as she pulled out of the embrace, a little embarrassed he thought, due to the tinge of color now forming on her cheeks.

“Well, um, we better get going. Jared doesn’t have a key, I do. We don’t want him to be left waiting.”

With that they got into the car and started their journey towards his home. She was so happy he was remembering things, even if they were little things. Little things, she thought, were much better than no things.

They pulled up in front of his apartment and got out, Jared had not yet arrived. “Ok, let’s get you home.”

He nodded and got out of her car, following behind her as she led the way to his apartment. Once inside he walked around, looking at the pictures on shelves, taking in all that was his and trying desperately to remember. He had a flash of a small boy playing and running to a room down the hall. He made his way to go in that direction. He walked into the room, obviously a child’s room, and deduced that it must be his son’s.

He looked around some more, made his way to his own bedroom and wandered around, looking at everything in there. On his dresser he saw two picture frames, one of him and his son, the other, him and Brennan. That was enough to make him wonder if it was true there was nothing between them. The picture of the two of them spoke volumes, as they were not looking at the camera, they were looking at one another. To him it looked like love, their eyes were locked on each other and his finger was under her chin. He was smiling a brilliant smile and she looked like she was trying to hide one equally as brilliant. Both of them concentrated solely on each other. He thought they must have been oblivious to the camera. The photo brought a smile to his face.

He turned to go back towards the living room where he had left her. “Bones,” he called, and upon seeing her continued, “umm..I know I said Jared should stay and all, but it’s not because I’m trying to get rid of you. You just look exhausted; I thought you might need some rest.”

Seeing her eyes fill with what he thought was understanding and fear, “I really don’t want you to go though, if you think you can actually get some rest then you are welcome to stay here.”

With those words she smiled, “Thanks Booth. I can be aggravating though, I’m sure you’ll relax more without me around.”

“No.” He spat out immediately, “Are you kidding? I’m more comfortable when you are in the room. Even when we were at the hospital, every time you would leave to get coffee, or food, or anything, my pulse would speed up. I felt like I was having an anxiety attack until you came back. You are far from aggravating to me, you are actually quite calming.” He flashed a charm smile at her, hoping that he had gotten his point across without making her uncomfortable.

“Okay Booth, I’ll stay, for awhile. I’m not moving in or anything,” She said jokingly, trying desperately to lighten the mood.

Booth simply pulled her into a hug, “Thank you. I just hope I don’t feel the need to kill Jared after a day or two. I get the feeling we don’t really get along.”

She smiled, pulling away from the hug, “Well, you do have a bit of a sibling thing going on, but you love each other, you’ll manage. Plus you have my cell so you can just call me to come save you if anything does happen.” She smirked.

Just then there was a knock at the door, which Brennan went to answer, while Booth settled himself on the couch. She opened the door to find Jared grinning at her, “Hey roomy,” His grin widened.

“I’m not your ‘roomy’, I’m only staying for awhile, then after Booth is settled, I’ll be going back to my place.” She smiled lightly, then her tone dropped low and serious, so low that he knew Booth couldn’t hear her, “You take care of him when I leave, and call me if you guys need anything, anytime. I don’t mind.”

“Of course Tempe, I wouldn’t think of doing anything without keeping you informed,” he teased, “I know he’s my brother, but he’s your ‘partner’,” He grinned and waggled his eyebrows at her as he emphasized the word partner.

She slapped him on the arm and gave him a ‘you know it’s not like that’ sort of look, then walked back towards Booth.

So she stayed long enough to make sure Booth ate and get him into bed. She came out of Booth’s room after telling him goodnight to find Jared sitting on the couch with a beer in his hand. “Can I offer you a beer too?”

She thought about his proposition and finally decided that after sitting in a hospital for two weeks or so, a beer sounded good, she simply nodded. He got up and got her a beer, sat on the couch and offered it to her, patting the couch beside him, “Hey Tempe, I know this has been really rough on you, even though you are trying not to let it show.” She flinched away from him slightly as he spoke, but he put a hand on her arm to settle her, “I’m just trying to tell you that if you need to talk, I’m here, okay?”

She nodded, but did not speak. She simply took a rather large swig of her beer and glanced at him before settling back on the couch.

“So,” He began, “how are you really doing? If you say fine, I won’t believe you and I thing you know that.” He looked at her expectantly, but with an honest concern for her as well.

Brennan let out a long sigh, deciding whether or not she could talk about this with anyone, let alone Booth’s brother. “Jared, I don’t know.”

He continued to look at her, waiting for her to elaborate her statement. However, nothing else was said on the matter, she quickly finished her Beer and stood to leave.

“I’ll be back first thing tomorrow. I have two weeks off, forcefully off, but off none the less, so expect to see a lot of me.”

“Of course Tempe. I don’t think my brother would want it any other way,” He grinned at her widely as he stood to walk her to the door.

When they reached the door Jared reached for the knob, but Brennan turned to face him, almost leaning on the door. She realized immediately they were too close for comfort but still she had to look in his eyes when she said her piece. Had to make sure he heard her. “Jared, I meant what I said, Take care of him. Keep him safe. If anything, anything, comes up call me and I’ll be right over. I don’t care what time it is. I’m here for him.” She started to turn back to face the door, “I’m here for you too if you need to talk,” she added as an afterthought as he opened the door to let her out.

Jared pulled her into a hug, which she accepted after a brief moment of trying to pull away. She knew he needed it probably as much as she did in that moment; this was his brother after all. She fought the urge as tears threatened to come back to her eyes in full force, knowing that Jared’s shoulder was not one she could cry on. She knew for it to be right she needed the other Booth, her Booth. In order to get that she would be patient. He would remember eventually and then he would be there for her as he always had. He was the only one she had ever come close to being open with, and just because he wasn’t okay right now, didn’t mean she could seek the comfort of her friend through his brother. She found it to be wrong, so she pulled back, “Night,” she offered as she went outside the apartment and headed down the stairs.

Jared spoke softly after clearing his throat, “Goodnight Temperance.” He then watched her go down the stairs until she was no longer in sight before he pulled the door closed behind him.

Chapter 9 & 10

Jared awake that morning still thinking of the night before: His conversation with Temperance… The hug they shared… His mind raced with possibilities. He was finding himself more and more attracted to his brother’s partner. He knew though, that she only had eyes for his brother. He doesn’t deserve her, Jared thought, he’s had all this time with her, leading her on, promising her things, things he’ll never deliver. Jared growled lightly as he pulled himself out of the bed and made his way towards the kitchen.

He made coffee and started to rummage around the refrigerator for something to eat. Finally pulling out the eggs, he decided on scrambled eggs and bacon. He was just finishing up cooking and poured himself a cup of coffee when Booth emerged from his room, still only half awake.

“Morning,” Booth mumbled as he reached into a cupboard for a mug.

“Morning Seel,” Jared replied with a grin, “How’d you sleep?”

Booth mumbled something that sounded like an affirmation as he brought his coffee to his mouth. Jared filled two plates full of eggs and bacon, motioning with his head for Booth to sit at the table as he set the plates down. He went back to get silverware as Booth sat at his plate.

“So, Jar, Do you think Bones,” Booth said with a dreamy smile as he began to eat, “will be by today?”

Of course, she would be his first thought of the day, even though he can’t even remember her, Jared thought before quickly saying, “Yeah Seel, I’m sure she will be. She told me she’d be by sometime this morning.”

This made Booth’s dreamy grin turn into a full-fledged smile, “So, Jar, I kind of wanted to ask you about something. Something about Bones” Cause I’m really trying to figure out where Bones and I stand.

“Look Seel, I know you care about her, we all know that, but Seel,” Jared began, She’s too good for you.

Booth interrupted him. "Are we just partners like everybody tells me or is there something more?"

That sentence sent an unexpected rage through Jared. Figures. Right when I'm about to try to make a move on her he decides he wants her for himself. Well to bad. He lost his shot.

"Well Seel there is definitely something more... She's like the sister we never had and you're like her brother that was never around. You help her through some rough spots, you make sure she eats and sleeps well... You're really close friends...Best friends even… Like I said almost like brother and sister."

Jared inwardly smiled and had to resist the urge to pump his fists in the air and do a little victory dance when he saw Booth's crestfallen face. Well if you have to lie, tell half a lie...

"I know that's not what you wanted to hear, Seel... But I'm just looking out for you..." He sighed dramatically. "You did make a move on her once and well... let's just say that it took you a really long time just to get her to talk to you again... Just don't hurt her like that again, okay? She is worth a lot more than that..."

A lot more than you... Jared looked back to his plate and continued eating. Feeling wonderful about how he had just squashed every chance of his brother ruining his chance with Brennan.

They sat in silence for the rest of their meal as they both thought through the conversation, Jared making secret plans to try and woo Brennan, while Booth was trying to think of how he could be just friends with the woman he knew had to be more.

Booth was no longer eating. He was just pushing around the food on his plate.

I hurt her? I can't believe I hurt her... I mean I don't think I would...but...

In frustration he took a sip before he returned to scramble up his eggs some more.

But that's the thing... I CAN'T know... I simply don't remember... What if I did do what Jared says that I did? I mean she said so herself... We've been partners for nearly four years... If there were feelings... the way I'm feeling them now... they can't be reciprocated... If they were we would be SO much more than good friends, surrogate brother and sister to one another...

He sighed in frustration as his thoughts continued to stray.

But if we ARE just brotherly and sisterly with each other then why the hell did she stay with me for days??? It just doesn't add up! Damn it! I wish I could just ask her outright... But since the first time I did that it backfired I can't do it again... I can't lose her... She's the only one I feel comfortable around.

Booth shook his head in determination.

I can't lose her... I'll just have to accept things the way they are...

The mere thought brought tears to his eyes, which he was quick to blink back so Jared didn’t see them.

A knock at the door brought Booth out of his thoughts and he began to rise to answer it when Jared put a hand on his shoulder, “Don’t worry about it Bro, I’ll get it. You just finish eating.”

Booth just sat, still mindlessly pushing food around on his plate while Jared answered the door.

Jared went towards the door with a big smile on his face. He knew exactly who it would be on the other side of the door.

“Hey Tempe,” he said as he opened the door.

“Good morning Jared. Is he up?” Brennan asked as she made her way in.

Jared wrapped his arm around her shoulder as he led her into the kitchen. “Yep. Hey, maybe you can get him to eat something, he hasn’t seemed up to it this morning,” He whispered conspiratorially in her ear as they approached Booth.

Brennan just smiled and indicated the bag she was carrying, “Oh, I don’t think that’ll be a problem.” She said as she reached the kitchen and set the bag on the counter. Her smile widened when she looked up to see Booth sitting at the table, “Morning Booth.”

Booth stood, “Morning Bones.”

Booth had a forced smile on his face that didn’t quite meet his eyes. I wonder what is bothering him, Brennan thought

“Well,” Jared stated, “I’m going to go take a shower.” He grinned as he walked towards the bathroom, knowing that awkwardness would now consume the partners.

“Alright Jared, but you’re going to miss out on the cherry pie I brought, cause if I let him, Booth will eat the whole thing,” She grinned widely at Booth whose eyes did seem to finally light up at the thought.

“Awe…Bones, you didn’t have to get me pie.” Booth looked from her to the pie she was now putting on a plate for him. As she brought it over and set it where he was sitting she took his plate of eggs away. She put his plate on the counter and reached for a coffee mug, filling it up and going to sit by him.

“Aren’t you going to have some pie, Bones?” He gave her a questioning look, while a half smile crept onto his face.

Brennan had to chuckle at that, not quite sure if this was a memory or if he didn’t remember, “No, Booth, I don’t like pie.”

“But why!?”

Causing her to laugh harder, “I don’t like my fruit cooked. Don’t even know how many times we’ve had this conversation.” Shaking her head she laughed a little more.

Booth just smiled and held her in his gaze. She’s so beautiful when she laughs. Brennan was finally able to control her laughter and noticed Booth still looking at her, not even touching his pie.

“Booth, you are going to eat right? I mean, “She gave him a slight playful smile, “I did go to all the trouble to bring it, least you could do is make sure it gets eaten, right?”

Booth just grinned back at her before placing a huge bite on his fork, which he then nodded to before plunging it into his mouth with a grin.

Brennan chuckled lightly again, “So Booth, got any plans for the day?”

Once he finished swallowing his large bite of pie he turned to her with a wide grin, “Nope, Why? Got something in mind? ‘cause if that’s the case I’m all yours.”

Her smile faltered slightly at his wording, don’t I wish I could believe that slip of the tongue, she thought.

Booth noticed her smile falter, Damn it, wrong thing to say. I hope she doesn’t think I’m coming on to her…don’t want to screw things up with her again…

“Well, Booth, in that case, why don’t we go to the Jeffersonian? Everybody is anxious to see you.” Her smile was now back on her face in full force and his heart skipped a bit.

“I’ll be glad to do whatever you think is best Bones,” His charm smile making her grin even more.

“Well then, why don’t you shower when Jared’s done, and then when you’re ready we’ll head over there.” She paused when their eyes met and held each others gaze until she became uncomfortable and tried to lighten the mood, “Oh and Booth, if Cam asks, you wanted to go there.”

“What you want me to lie and say it wasn’t your idea?” He looked at her incredulously, “Why?”

“Oh, if it was my idea Cam will yell at me for trying to use you as an excuse to come in to work.” She stated matter of factly.

Booth looked somewhat hurt by that comment, “Oh,” he paused, searching her face for the answer to the question he couldn’t bring himself to ask.

Damnit Brennan, she thought as she looked at him, there you go, hurting him again. Why did you say that, She scolded herself before speaking, “Booth, that’s not what I’m doing. I just thought you might like to see everybody. See the lab, you did spend a lot of time there you know? Maybe it’ll run a memory or something.”

He grinned momentarily, “Jog, Bones, jog a memory,” he paused before he sheepishly questioned, “So you aren’t going to work then?”

“No Booth,” She reassured him again, “I promise, no work, just a quick stop in to say hi, then we can go to the diner.”

Jared then came back into the room with a towel wrapped around his waist and another in his hands drying his short hair, “Shower’s all yours Bro.” He said with a grin then went back towards the guest room to get dressed.

“Go, get ready,” Brennan prodded, “I’ll be here when your ready to go.”

Reluctantly Booth got up and went towards the bathroom to take his shower.

Jared came back into the living room fully dressed and came to sit on the couch by Brennan. Brennan turned to look at him. “So, how is he? He seemed a little distant at first today.”

Jared gave her a small smile and leaned towards her slightly. “Tempe, you know this is a lot to get used to. I mean he can’t remember so many things. This morning he asked me if you too were actually secret lovers or something.” He saw fear mixed with hope flash on her face and decided it was best to continue, “He said that you were so attentive to him that he could only conclude there was more between you.”

She cleared her throat lightly. “And, what did you tell him Jared? When he asked I mean?”

He gave her a friendly smile and put his arm around her shoulders. “I told him the same thing the both of you always tell me, or at he least told me before, that you are Partners, good friends even. Close like brother and sister, that you care deeply for each other, but not romantically.” He paused giving her shoulder a light squeeze and looking into her eyes questioningly. “I’m not wrong right? That’s what you always told me.”

Brennan shook her head, then removed herself from his grasp under the guise of getting another cup of coffee. “No, you are not wrong. We’re partners, he’s one of my best friends, and I do care deeply for him. I wouldn’t exactly say I think of him as a brother though.” She tried to muster up a smile but only succeeded in placing a sad smirk on her face.

“Okay Tempe, you just let me know if you want me to butt out of this, but I’m going to ask you something here, and if the answer is what I think it’ll be, I’ll back off. All you have to do is say the word.” He said coming forward and placing a hand on each of her shoulders. “Are you interested in more than friendship with him?”

Brennan flushed instantly, denial setting in.How can I possibly say anything of the sort… the man has amnesia. Even if I could honestly answer that question without any doubt, it wouldn’t matter, he doesn’t remember me. Shaking her head slightly to break her reverie she looked down as she spoke softly. “Jared, don’t be ridiculous, he’s my partn…”

Before she could even finish what she was saying, Jared had leaned forward and was placing a passionate kiss on her lips. His tongue sliding into her awestruck mouth as she fought to pull away… Her eyes catching sight of an equally awestruck Booth in the hall.

Regretfully he let her go, his face flushed. “Temperance I’m so sorry, I just thought…” His voice trailed off as she broke away from him and went after Booth down the hallway towards his bedroom.

“Booth!” She called but to no avail, he wasn’t interested in listening to her, he simply slammed the door to his room in her face as she got there trailing his heels.

Brennan knocked lightly on the door calling through it to him. “Booth, it’s not what you think. I promise you it’s not what you think!” Her voice desperate and sad. Why is it I am acting like I’ve been cheating on someone, why do I have this guilty pain?

Booth, hearing the desperation in her voice, went to open the door and let her in. He just stood staring at her as she looked deeply into his eyes and saw the pain residing there.

“Booth, I know I’ve hurt you, but I don’t know why. I mean I know he’s your brother, and trust me I did not intend to kiss him, for that matter.” She rambled on quickly, “I didn’t kiss him, he kissed me!”

She paused to take him in again, seeing the hurt in his eyes turning somewhat toward anger she stepped back, mistakenly believing the anger was towards her. “I’m sorry Booth… Maybe… Maybe I should just go.”

He reached out a hand and grabbed her arm, pulling her towards him. Enveloping her in a tender embrace he allowed his anger to be replaced with contentment. Here, with his arms wrapped around this woman, he was content, happy even. He may have been told by his brother that there was nothing there, but as he held her, and she allowed him to hold her, he knew that his brother had to have been lying.

Images flashed through his mind.

He was on the ground, her hands bound and wrapped around his neck, she was crying into his chest as he gently rubbed her back and reassured her it was okay…

He was now standing, her facing away from him, crying, her voice cracking as she spoke ‘I have a brother…my name is….’ He lost the words which she spoke but pulled her into another reassuring hug.

Many more visions flew past, but one stopped him in his tracks and he pulled her closer as it flashed in his mind;

She was holding his lapels and pulling him closer, she began kissing him, tentatively at first, but from there it grew into an almost passionate kiss before she pulled away timidly.

After that vision had flooded his mind, all he could think of was kissing her, but decided to hold back. He needed more information, however he couldn’t ask her. She was taking him to the Jeffersonian today, where all the ‘squints’ worked. Surely someone there would have the answers he desperately wanted, even craved.

So he reluctantly pulled back from the embrace and looked down at her, somewhat surprised to see her eyes glistening with unshed tears before she managed to blink them back. He gave her a charming smile and spoke softly. “So, how about we head over to the Jeffersonian like you said? I’d really like to spend the time with you, plus I’d like to see everyone else too.”

She grinned back at him. “Sure Booth, let me know when you are ready.” She then began to move away from him, when unexpectedly he captured her hand.

“You’re not getting away that easily Bones, I’m ready now.” He grinned as she led him out towards the apartment door, not even trying to pull her hand out of his grasp.

They arrived at the Jeffersonian a little while later, everyone greeted them eagerly. They sat in the upstairs lounge talking for a bit before Cam decided it was time to get back to work, and told everyone that they should do so as well.

Booth decided that maybe he should talk to Hodgins. The guy may have told him conspiracy after conspiracy but he seemed an alright guy. He also seemed a friend, someone he could talk to. “Hey Bones?” He asked as she began her way down the stairs after the other, “Would you mind hanging out here a bit longer? I was hoping to talk to Hodgins about something.”

She gave him a tentative smile and nodded, “Sure Booth, I’ll just go talk to Ange in her office, you let me know when you’re done talking to Jack.” She flashed him one last dazzling smile before disappearing down the stares and into Angela’s office.

He descended the stair and went towards Hodgins office. Once he got there he wasn’t exactly sure how to start the conversation, so he simply paused outside the door and hovered.

Hodgins fortunately noticed him and invited him in. “Hey man, whatcha doing out there? Come on in and have a seat.” He motioned to a chair next to his at his workstation.

Booth came in and sat down, looking at Hodgins for a moment before speaking. “Hey, I was kinda wondering about some things. Wasn’t really sure who to ask. Thought maybe you could help me out, I mean, it seems we’re friends, I mean we are right?” He gave Hodgins a hopeful look.

Hodgins just beamed and grinned wildly at him, “Yeah man, we’re friends. What’s on your mind?”

Booth had a pleasant look on his face, but his eyes betrayed him, his voice even betrayed him when he finally spoke. “Well,” He started and then brought his tone to a whispered hush. “It’s about Bones.”

Hodgins grinned knowingly. “You think you’re more? You hope you’re more? You want to be more? Which is it?”

Booth looked at him astounded. “Well you could answer any of them and probably help me to be less confused.”

Hodgins looked intently at Booth now, not wanting to hurt him, and not wanting to give him false information. “Truthfully, the way you two always went around saying ‘just partners’ every chance you got has had everyone wondering for a long time if you were more. Dr. B is a complex person who doesn’t often let her feelings show. What I do know is that she cares about you a lot.”

He paused and watched as this sank in before continuing. “If you hope or want more from her, I don’t know what to tell you. It’s not like she goes around professing her undying love for anyone. Hell, she claims she doesn’t believe in love.” At this comment he saw Booths face sink. “Hey, dude, don’t let that crush you. I’ll tell you a secret, but you can never tell anyone. I mean anyone dude, I’ve never even told Angie.” He was now looking at Booth expectantly, waiting for confirmation.

Booth simply nodded and Hodgins continued. “Well, I know you don’t remember the instance, but you remember us telling you about the first gravedigger case?” Booth nodded. “Well, I tore a page from her book and wrote a note to Angie in case we didn’t make it, telling her I loved her. I offered Brennan a page as well, so she could write something to someone she cared about too. Do you know who she chose to write to?” Hodgins paused again as Booth shook his head. “You. She chose to write to you. If we weren’t found in time and we died you were the only person she trusted enough to write to. I don’t know what she wrote, but I know it was to you. She told me that much. She also told me she had faith in you, that you would find us. Which, obviously you did or we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.”

Booth was now blinking back tears as he nodded his thanks to Hodgins and got up to leave his office. Hodgins however was not ready to let him go quite yet. “Booth,” He called looking the man directly in the eye, “You need to be careful here. Even if she does love you, you have to be careful. She’s easily spooked, and we all care about her a lot. You would do well not to hurt her.”

Booth clearly understood the warning. “The last thing I want to do is hurt her, don’t worry, I won’t do anything rash. I just wanted to make sure everything I’m feeling now wasn’t some delusion.”

That got Hodgins up out of his chair. “What exactly are you feeling now?”

Booth smiled dreamily as he spoke. “Every time she’s near me, my heart beats so fast I think it’s going to explode, I can’t wait to see her, talk to her. She was the last thing I thought about last night before falling asleep and the first thing on my mind this morning. I just feel… so close to her. Like we should be more. Like she is the only thing I need in life. I know, it sounds cheesy, but you did ask after all.” He gave Hodgins a grin.

Hodgins’ own grin widened significantly as Booth left his office.

I can’t wait to talk to Angela!!

Chapter 11 & 12

Brennan sauntered over to Angela’s office and gently knocked. “Hey Ange, can I talk to you a minute?” She was desperate to gain another perspective on what happened this morning and get some help trying to figure out what to do about it.

“Sure Sweetie, come have a seat.” Angela said as she went and sat on the couch, patting the cushion beside her.

Brennan gracefully set herself down and looked at her friend. “I need… perspective… and advice about something.” Brennan stalled as she tried to figure out the best approach to take.

“Spill sweetie, what’s going on?” Angela gently placed a hand on her arm.

Brennan offered her friend a half smile. “Well, it’s Booth.”

Brennan seemed partly distressed and very uncertain, which bothered Angela, as Temperance Brennan is almost never uncertain.

“Jared is staying with him, as you know, and when I arrived there Booth was out of sorts. We began to converse and some of his good nature returned after Jared went to shower.”

“So? Details sweetie, details!” Ange insisted.

“Well, I informed Booth of my plan to bring him here for a visit, he seemed quite thrilled. Then when Jared was done showering I told Booth to go shower and get ready, that I would wait for him.” She paused and gave Angela a perplexing look “Then Jared, Well, he said some things.”

Angela was extremely interested at this point, however held back her usual vigor to extract information from Brennan, as she was freely asking for advice for once. She really didn’t want to pry too much and make Brennan clam up. So she chose the least threatening words she could think of, direct and to the point, no innuendo implied. “What is it that he said?”

“Well, he said that Booth had been asking about the nature of our relationship, that he wanted to know if we were… you know… more.” Brennan looked up and saw the twinkle in Angela’s eye which told her she knew exactly what she was referring to. “He said he informed Booth we were simply partners, friends. Possibly best friends.”

“Ok, and that’s correct, right?” Angela encouraged.

“Yes, Booth and I have never been anything more than good friends and valued partners.” Brennan stated, but she did not meet Angela’s eye at this statement. After a brief pause she regained eye contact and continued.“Then he asked me if we were more, told me if I told him we were he would ‘back off.’ I proceeded to tell him we were not more, and that’s when he…” Brennan was wringing her hands in her lap now and her gaze was drawn to then.

“He what, Bren?” Angela was getting worried now, she rarely saw Brennan so distressed.

“He kissed me.” At Angela’s gasp Brennan looked back up at her, tears now shining in her eyes. “I was in the middle of saying something and he just did, I didn’t kiss him back,” She stammered quickly and somewhat defensively. Angela had the same look in her eyes the first time she had told Brennan not to get involved with Jared.“But that’s not the worst part.” Her gaze once again fell from Angela to her lap.

“Oh Sweetie, no…”Angela guessed this was coming.

“Yes, Booth chose that moment, right before I was able to force him away from me to come in. He looked so hurt Ange… and angry.” Eyes catching her friends again as a single tear managed to escape her right eye. “He stormed off. Then I chased him back to his room and convinced him I didn’t kiss him, he tried to kiss me. I convinced him somehow to still come here with me.” She sighed.

Angela gave her a sympathetic look. “Well sweetie, just because he doesn’t remember everything doesn’t mean his feelings go away.”

“Ange!” Brennan said a little too harshly. “You don’t know that he had any feelings above friendship for me. Besides, we are partners, good friends, we weren’t romantically involved.”

“Sweetie, you really need to catch up! You both wanted to be, it was just his stupid fictitious imaginary line that kept you apart.” Brennan now looked like she was going to retreat and Angela knew she had pushed too hard. “Sorry sweetie, now please, you said you wanted advice. What exactly do you want advice about?”

“Well, what do I do?” Brennan looked terrified, like a deer caught in headlights.

“Sweetie now is when you have to be very truthful with me if you want the right advice. I promise, no matter what you say I will not tell anyone and I will not judge.” Hopeful that Brennan might just take a leap once in her life and admit to what everyone already knew to be true.“Do or even did you want more from your relationship with Booth? A romantic relationship I mean?”

Brennan thought carefully about how to respond to this, as she had only admitted it to herself through a story she wrote while waiting for Booth to come out of his coma. “I think I do, or did before he lost his memory, now I think it would just be wrong to pressure him that way. I didn’t even realize what it was I wanted from our relationship until I was waiting for him to wake up.”

Angela nodded triumphantly. “Well then sweetie, if you are interested, and obviously he is interested, I would just see where it goes. Don’t push it or anything, just let nature take its course. He’ll slowly keep remembering things and when his memory is restored you can talk to him about it then. That is, if nothing comes up beforehand.” She now sported a devilish grin. Then she spoke in a serious tone for an instant before smiling again.

“Okay, I think I can attempt that method.” Brennan smiled softly at her friend. “Thank you, and if this messes things up, I’ll be back. I really don’t want to hurt him Ange.”

“I know sweetie.” Then she spoke in a serious tone for an instant before smiling again. “Oh and If Jared tries anything like that again, slap him!!”

“Loud and clear Ange.” Brennan acknowledged.

Both women jumped however as they heard the sound of someone clearing their throat in her doorway. They looked up to see Booth at them with a charming smile.

“Hey ladies, I don’t mean to interrupt…” He glanced at Brennan and could tell she had been crying.“But um, you said to find you here when I was done talking to Hodgins. Well, I’m done.” He tried to throw them a grin, which he found difficult since he felt somewhat saddened that she was upset.

Brennan simply smiled widely at him and motioned for him to come in and join them. “You’re not interrupting, we were actually just finishing our little bout of ‘girl talk.’”

“I see.” Booth’s grin a little wider and truer now as he stepped into the office. “So, Bones, how about we go over to the diner like you promised? I’m getting kind of hungry.”

“Sure Booth.” She stood and walked towards him, looking back to her friend still sitting on the couch.“Bye Ange, and thanks again.”

After they made their way out of the office Booth chanced putting his arm around her shoulders, which to his delight she did not protest. He could even feel her leaning into him ever so slightly. His grin simply stretched across his face as he managed to gently pull her in a little bit closer as they made their way to her car.

As they walked towards the dinner he kept glancing over at her, a sly grin on his face. He really wanted to ask her about them, but couldn’t figure out how. He thought back to the flashes of memory he had earlier, the one where they kissed in particular, and really wanted to know how that had come about if they were ‘just partners.’

They entered and she immediately went to there usual table, one he had already recognized from previous trips to the diner. As they sat across from each other, awaiting their order to arrive, they locked eyes and Booth finally found the nerve to ask her about his memory flashes, or at least the most interesting one. “So, Bones, I uh, earlier when I hugged you I mean, I had a flash of something, an image, or more like a black and white movie playing in my head. I kinda wanted to ask you about it. Not entirely sure if it’s real or not.”

Brennan smiled at him encouragingly, then reached her hand across the table to place it on top of his. “Booth, you can ask me anything. I want to help you regain your memory remember?”

He began to stroke her hand with his thumb as he spoke, rather nervously, “Well umm…. In the vision thing I had, you… pulled me closer and kissed me. Is that one just my imagination or did it really happen?”

Brennan flushed slightly and tried to hide her grin. “Well Booth, did you notice anything else? Mistletoe perhaps?”

He shook his head, but it already sounded hopeful even if it was just a mistletoe kiss, at least she wasn’t denying it happened.

“Well last Christmas, my father and my brother were in Jail. The attorney that could get us a trailer so we could have Christmas together was feeling puckish and stated that she would only get us the trailer if I kissed you, on the lips, under the mistletoe. For a minimum of five steamboats I think she said.”

He was nodding now. “Oh, so it was like we were blackmailed into it?”

“Well, I was blackmailed into it, you however were somewhat unwilling to help. That is until Caroline, that’s the puckish lawyer, showed up and pushed you under the mistletoe beside me. Hence, why I was pulling you close. You were a good sport about it after though. You and Parker even brought me and my family a tree.” She smiled fondly at the memory, looking a little lost in thought.

He didn’t speak now, just watched her as she obviously was reliving a fond memory of her own. A fond memory, he thought proudly, that was in partly because of me. His grin spread from ear to ear as he watched the pleasant sentiment play across her face. She looked so peaceful, absolutely beautiful lost in that moment in time. The stress and worry he had seen in her so often, since he had awakened, seemed to have melted away.

They were both brought out of their oblivious trances however as the waitress arrived with their order. They ate silently, stealing quick glances at one another while they ate. Brennan would occasionally reach over and steal a fry off Booths plate, to which he would grin at her. They were comfortable in the silence of the meal. Just sitting across from one another, enjoying the fact that the other was there.

When they arrived back at Booth’s apartment after their day out, Booth was surprised to find an envelope lying on the table by the door addressed to him. He snatched it up and made his way to collapse on the couch with it as Brennan followed him inside. He proceeded to open the envelope, pull out the letter inside and began to read silently to himself.

Seeley,

Sorry about earlier, guess I was out of line. I think I was putting my own wants before yours and yours were more important, seeing as how they were more needs than wants.

You said it yourself Seel, we are not friends, brothers yeah, but not friends. I really did think neither of you were really interested though. I mean 4 years and not one move by either of you?

Anyway, I hope you regain your memory soon and take your foot outta your ass and do something about that gorgeous Doctor of yours. She really deserves better than you pussy footing around the way you are. I mean, I really didn’t think there was anything there, but after I kissed her and you walked in…

Man I’m sorry about that. She tensed up the second she saw you. I’m just glad she decided to go after you instead of kicking my ass.

This indecently brings me to the point of this letter. I know I shoulda had the balls to do this face to face, but for fear of Tempe kicking my ass, I decided this would be best. I’m gonna take off, I’ll come back and visit though. Tell Tempe I’m sorry okay?

Get better bro,

Jared

Booth quickly folded the letter and placed it back in the envelope. He noticed Brennan’s eyes on him, curiosity floating within them.

“So…” she began questioningly, like she didn’t really want to bring up the subject .“Jared?” She nodded towards the envelope he still clutched in his hands.

“Yeah.” He said gruffly .“He…uhh…says he’s sorry for kissing you and that he’s going away for awhile.”

“Oh…” She said lightly. A silence engulfed the room for several minutes before she spoke again. Her voice was almost timid and cautious. “So who are you going to have stay with you then? The doctor said that you’d have to stay at the hospital or have someone stay, remember?”

He chuckled softly. “Well…” He gazed into her eyes meaningfully. “I was kind of hoping you would volunteer for that, since, you know you’re here most of the time anyway.” He grinned at her.

“Oh course Booth,” A broad smile growing across her face. “I told you I would be here for you, and I plan on keeping true to my word as long as you need me.”

“Good, now that that’s settled, how about we run over to your place so we can get some of your things, you know, clothes and other necessities. Wouldn’t want you without the things you need.” His grin turned into a charm smile.

Returning from her apartment with a bag she collapsed on Booth's couch, exhausted from their day.

Booth collapsed alongside her, a light chuckle escaping his lips. "So...what do you want to do now?"

She sighed lightly, closing her eyes and leaning back against the couch. She couldn't remember a time when she had wanted to simply do nothing, but right now, that's precisely what she wanted. However she couldn't bring herself to make this remark to Booth, whether he remembered her fully or not. "Whatever you feel like doing is fine with me. Just pretend I'm not here, you don't have to entertain me. I'm not a guest. Just here in case..." She couldn't however finish the sentence with 'something happens.’

He looked at her curiously for a moment at her statement and then grinned, "Who said there was anything I wanted to do that didn't include you?" His tone was flippant and somewhat flirtatious. 'Just because we were 'just' partners doesn't mean we can't progress. After what Hodgins' said I'm willing to risk pressuring her a little.'

She looked back at Booth, eyes widened slightly. When their eyes locked, she felt a sudden jolt. Her reaction to him scared her. She knew he couldn't remember everything, knew he couldn't remember his line, and she wasn't willing to cross it without him knowing. She though briefly about letting him know about the invisible line, but how could she without letting him know of her intentions? What if he didn't return her feelings? Or worse, what if he returned them now, but when his memory resurfaced felt it was all a mistake?

She wouldn't put him in that position of doubt. She couldn't allow her personal feelings toward him to influence his, especially since he was in such a state of confusion, having lost so much of his memory. She steeled herself and responded, her tone light and serious. "Well, we could watch a movie?" She asked gesturing towards his TV.

Booth looked at her and smiled. "Popcorn?" He offered with a raised brow. As he rose to go to the kitchen, not waiting for an answer he glanced back at her distractedly looking through his selection of movies. 'God she's beautiful.' He thought as she left his line of sight when he entered the kitchen. He went to get out the microwave popcorn he knew he must have had and paused. He ended up finding it when he opened the third cabinet. Shaking his head lightly, he reached to grab a bag and unwrapped the cellophane from around it, popping it into the microwave. Shortly after he came back into the living room, seeing her still perusing his movies a smile graced his lips as he set the bowl of popcorn and two sodas on the table.

He slid beside her and his arm slid around the back of the couch behind her. Leaning in to see the movies, she was looking at his cheek merely a breath away from her own. "So see anything you like?" His question was asked innocently enough, referring to the movies, but even Brennan caught the innuendo that could be implied by the simple question.

A faint blush crept across her cheeks as she leaned back, feeling the need to put some distance between them, only to find herself landing on his arm. Immediately stiffening, she glanced back to him, her voice remaining steady, "Why don't you pick something?" She then reached for the soda he had set on the coffee table for her, brushing her arm against his as she grabbed it. 'Get hold of yourself, Brennan,’ She told herself as she felt warmth spread through her entire being at the momentary contact.

Booth had picked a movie, basically at random. He really didn’t care what they watched. Just that he was getting to be close to her. Doing something he found oddly intimate as they sat side by side on the couch sharing a bowl of popcorn. His hand brushing hers when they both reached into the bowl at the same time.

He found himself not paying attention to the movie. She was seated on his left side, right beside him. His left arm still draped over the back of the couch behind her, almost around her shoulders as she leaned back. He was careful though not to actually lower his arm to her shoulders. He didn’t want this to end and feared that if he allowed himself this, she would shy away from him. As often as he could, he stole glances at her. Her face contemplative as she watched the film, trying to make sense of the plot. He could hear her making comments under her breathe, things like “Irrational” and “Improbable” kept escaping her lips and he simply smiled. She sure was something.

He found himself being more drawn to her the more time he spent with her. Always finding himself wondering how he had worked with this woman for four years and never lost control. She was gorgeous, breathtaking in fact, and she was brilliant, a tried and true genius. Sure, she had some quirks, but all those were easily overlooked by him.

He realized then that he had been staring at her while he was lost in his thoughts, a small grin on his face. She was looking back at him, a curious expression on her face. He flushed lightly as he turned his head back towards the TV.

Surprisingly, she said nothing. She did however lean against him, which he took as a queue that it might just be okay for him to wrap his arm around her.

So that is what he did, his arm draped lightly over her shoulder now, his hand resting on her upper arm. He looked down at her one last time before steeling himself to watch the movie and just be happy she was close to him.

She was smiling as he brought his arm down around her, completely content in his arms. She knew she shouldn’t indulge herself, but she was relishing this moment. She thought as long as she didn’t take it any farther, they could write it off as friends enjoying a movie together. She told herself that over and over as they finished the movie. Until finally she found herself getting tired and snuggling further into him, her head resting on his chest as her eyes closed.

When the movie was over, Booth looked down at her sleeping form. She looked so peaceful, completely at ease against him. He hated that he knew he needed to wake her, as they would both be sore in the morning if they remained there to sleep. While he would find it worth it, just to have her waking up in his arms, he wouldn’t do that to her. He found it impossible to knowingly inflict pain on this beauty. So finally he moved the arm he had around her, to jostle her gently, which only caused her to snuggle into him. He grinned and let out a sigh of contentment before deciding he would simply carry her to the guest room and lay her in the bed.

When he rose from the couch with her cradled in his arms, she snaked her arms around his neck. Looking down and finding her still asleep in his arms he smiled, even in her sleep she was clinging to him. He set her gently onto the bed and grabbed a blanket at the foot of the bed to cover her, before going back to his own room and settling in for a restless night’s sleep. He knew before his head hit the pillow, his dreams would be filled with her. He also knew they would be far from appropriate; however he had resigned himself to no longer care about his subconscious thoughts that surfaced in his dreams.

Partly, he knew, because they weren’t entirely subconscious anymore. He found himself thinking more and more about her. The way he wished it was between them. He had wanted to kiss her so many times tonight and he wondered, as he drifted off to sleep, how he would be able to go without kissing her now that she was staying with him.

Chapter 13 & 14

Booths dreams that night were sporadic; it started with the dream he had remembered after waking from his come, but quickly they became like flashes coming at him wish such intensity that he found his heart rate going up and his breathing increasing. He saw himself digging, frantically in the sand. Then the scene would jump and he would be shoving his gun into a man’s face, threatening to kill him. Then he would saw her, at a pottery wheel, making a jug of some sort. Then he was tied to a chair lying on the ground and she was running towards him. Then she was having dinner with someone, and she was sad, turning towards him to ask what he was waiting for before she got up and left, wiping away a stray tear that had managed to escape as he proceeded to read the man she had been with his rights.

It went on like that, all in flashes until it got to a terrifying scene, there were dogs barking as he cam around the corner he saw a man raise a gun up. Instinctively he saw himself shoot the man, then run to her. Her hands were bound and attached to a hook, he tried to pull her up and off it, but it hurt. The pain was too much, so he bent down, putting his head between her linked hands and used his weight to lift her before falling to the ground with her still clutching him. He remembered this, he had seen this part before when he held her and he awoke with a start to find her sitting on the edge of his bed trying to wake him gently.

“Hey,” She said softly, “You sounded like you were having a nightmare.”

“I think they were memories. But they were all jumbled together, hard to… hard to understand.” He sat there looking at her in the dim light from the hall provided by his open door. She looked almost angelic as it backlit her and caused her to give off an almost luminescent glow. He gave her a weak smile.

“Well, do you want to tell me about them?” She asked softly, “Maybe I can help you make sense of what you saw.”

He nodded and began going through the sequence of his dreams, carefully skipping the dream he knew to be a fantasy created by his anesthesia induced coma. She went through it all with him, carefully filling him in on the events surrounding each vision, all except for when he was threatening to kill the man. She hadn’t recollected that one herself. For some reason Booth felt his stomach knot up when he spoke of that incident from his dream, almost as though his subconscious was cautioning him, telling him to skip it. He had told her however, as he was desperate to gain any further knowledge of the passing events in his life that his mind was not yet willing to relent fully.

At some point while they were talking they had migrated to where they were both sitting back against the headboard, their shoulders touching as she explained the events to him. As if her voice was all he had needed to hear from the beginning as she spoke his mind began to clear and he recalled each of those events. Not much else had come to him, but the events he had discussed with her and their surrounding circumstances were clear as crystal. The more she spoke the more he began to remember about him. She had told him that tomorrow they could look through their old files and the suspect pictures to hopefully identify who it had been that he was threatening.

He had begun remembering more and more and she was thankful for it, as she sat there next to him recounting each occasion. She spoke in soft tones and midway through her explanation of her experience with Kenton her eyes would stay open no longer and she gently drifted off to sleep mid sentence; her head landing softly on his shoulder.

As he looked down at her he realized she needn’t go into that particular experience any longer, he remembered that one as well. From the moment she had said the word Kenton a stab of pain flowed through his chest as the rest of the memory had surfaced. He had been the one to put her in the man’s hands. He had practically signed her death warrant, and if Hodgins hadn’t shown up at the hospital that day… Booth refused to follow that line of thought any further as he reached up to smooth back her hair that had fallen into her face.

After what seemed like an eternity of staring at her and thinking about the things he wished to happen he gently settled her down beside him on the bed, wrapping his arms protectively and almost instinctively around her. This woman, he knew, was far too good for him, but he also knew he had never and would never love someone so much. She was the epitome of perfection in his eyes. Sure he had remembered and noticed a few quirks she had, and her people skills were seriously lacking, but a better more pure and giving heart you couldn’t find. He knew in his own heart that she would do anything to help a person she cared about. Hell he was fairly certain she didn’t even have to care about the person for her to be willing to jeopardize her own happiness and security. She was all heart, she just didn’t realize it.

As he thought about how much she really was, how much she had done, and how much she meant, not just to him but to all those around her, he couldn’t help but tighten his hold on her protectively. As his grip around her midsection tightened he felt her shift closer to him in her sleep, causing him to smile as he closed his eyes, inhaling her scent. He knew, whether he ever regained his memory or not, that this woman in his arms he could never leave. She was it. His purpose for remaining alive along with his son. She meant everything to him, he knew it without a doubt, and if there was any way possible for him to stay like this, with her in his arms, for the rest of his life, he would gladly do whatever it took to get there. Sleep finally came to Booth as he realized that the first step towards winning the woman in his arm’s heart was remembering everything he could from before his tumor. He had decided to try harder than he previously had been, because this…this was what he wanted more than anything, and he was sure that once he remembered everything, his former self would agree. How could he not? Temperance Brennan was a little piece of heaven right here on earth, and she had chosen to bestow her compassion on him.

When she awoke that morning she was startled to find she wasn't alone. Her middle of the night journey into Booth's room slowly came back to her and she stiffened realizing she had ended up staying. While she had previously shared a bed with him during a couple of undercover cases, this was different. It was not for keeping their cover, had nothing to do with work at all, this was just them, in n his apartment. It sent a chill up her spine when she thought of the implications him waking to find her in his bed would imply. She hastened to extract herself from the arm he had haphazardly thrown across her waist and made her way gently and quietly out of his bed. Out of his room and towards the kitchen. Her plan was to start on breakfast, but first and foremost, coffee.

After starting the brewer she began searching for something to make for breakfast, pulling out the makings for omelets she set to work chopping veggies and scrambling the eggs into a bowl, pausing only when the her morning weakness had finished brewing. She poured herself a cup and fixed it to her liking, then promptly turned back to the makings for their breakfast. She would wait until everything was ready to wake Booth. She needed time to organize her thoughts, get her heart and her brain back on the same page so that she refrained from doing anything unintelligent due to her impromptu visit to Booth's room last night. Waking in his arms was having a startling effect on her. She had realized how perfect she felt in that moment. She knew she wanted it, but in the same respect she knew she couldn't obtain her desire. He hadn't regained all his memories, and for her desire to be fulfilled he would have to be her Booth. Being her Booth meant remembering everything and still wanting to be with her.

This Booth, the one whose memories were so clouded, he needed her too much. His feelings that were being displayed towards her could be nothing more than his simple attraction towards her physical presence. He had remarked to her previously on several occasions that she was very attractive. A small smile crept across her face at remembering when he had zipped up her dress in Vegas. 'Hot,' he had said. There were other times too when he stumbled over words, or simply told her someone like her, being the way she looks, wouldn't understand others wishing to alter their physical appearance. However even with all the platitudes he had spouted and his near breathless comments at how she looked, that one word was the one she thought back to with a smile. It was like he had let it slip out, accidentally, like her had never meant for her, let alone her coworkers on the phone, to hear it. Which to her made it all the better. He wasn't saying it to appease her, it was truth. He had simply uttered his thought out loud and that... that made it even more concrete.

So, she chided herself, what happened last night cannot happen again. She couldn't allow herself to indulge in his presence. She had to detach. She couldn't allow the tirade of emotions she was feeling to affect his recovery. He was starting to remember now and hopefully soon, as all his memories fell back into place she would be able to find out how he felt towards her. The real Booth, not this ghost of Booth that she had so easily fallen into caring for as well. And why not? For even if he was a ghost of the man she knew as Booth, he was still part of him. Why would she not care for him equally, even when she longed for the man she had spent four years with to come back to her. She shook her head to clear her thoughts, spent four years with? Temperance, get a grip, he's been your friend your partner and here you are equating him to a lover for the last four years in your head. Thank god Angela hadn't been in her head to hear her thoughts, the squeal would have been deafening.


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Booth heard the noises in his apartment and woke with a slight start, his hand immediately reaching for the spot where she had laid. Finding it empty he felt the disappointment of not awaking to find her beside him monumental. It struck him then. He longed to be near her, to hold her. He knew it wouldn't be right though and he fought the urge to leap from his bed and run to her. He slowly rose from the bed.

Making his way towards the kitchen he stopped dead in the hallway, just barely able to view her absentmindedly cooking at his stove. He grinned so widely at the image before him that he knew he could go no further until he could contain his grin. He didn't want to offend her, didn't want to scare her off, and he knew that the thoughts running through his head would be betrayed instantly by that grin, and he would end up doing just that.

Taking a few moments to watch her as she plated the contents of the pan, he finally was able to dim down his grin enough to approach. He wanted desperately to say one thing, but instead forced out a simple, "Morning," Instead. He couldn't tell her of all the thoughts roaming throughout his mind, that he wanted to take her back to his bed and... He knew she wasn't ready, and how he knew he wasn't sure, but he knew. He had also figured out that she felt more for him than anyone had stated. He didn't know it was love that she felt, but he knew that whatever the name for what she felt, it was far more than friendship, and very far from partner-ly. He wondered if his old self had known these things. Had he known and simply overlooked the way she was with him? Had he not wanted her before?

He found that extremely difficult to believe as she was perfection, from the way she moved, to the way she cared. He must have been a moron before, or maybe it was in how well he had known her before, perhaps the progression of their friendship had made him oblivious to her feelings for him. No longer though, he knew what he saw now, and there was no going back for him. He smiled at her as she motioned for him to sit at the table, bringing a cup of coffee and a plate of food in the direction she had motioned.

He took his seat and wondered for a moment why she hadn't spoken, she had motioned for him to sit, had nodded at his 'morning', but had said nothing. She had gone back over to the counter to gather her own plate and coffee, sitting farther from him than he would have liked, however he decided to ignore that fact and begin eating. "This is really great Bones, thank you."

Again she simply nodded and brought a bite to her own mouth. The silence from her was maddening for him, he just wanted her to speak, say something, anything. He couldn't stand her silence, or the way she avoided his eyes. She kept her eyes trained either on her plate or her coffee refusing to look at him. He didn't understand, this wasn't how they acted, not since he had awoken from the coma anyway. Was this something she would have done to him before? Was last night and waking beside him so terrible for her? Maybe she just had to process. He had had multiple conversations with Hodgins lately in which he had assured him that he needed to give Brennan time, let her process. She had a mind that could process most things in milliseconds, but as Hodgins had said; when it came to her own emotions it takes time. She has a hard time dealing with the unfathomable and to her that is what these types of emotions were. She had no concrete evidence to process when dealing with them; they were abstract, which was difficult for her. He would wait, and hope that she would speak soon.

Chapter 15 & 16

Half the day had gone by in near silence, but finally Booth could no longer take it. He needed to know what was going on in her head. He needed to know if she was mad at him or if it was just the awkwardness of the circumstance she couldn’t get past. So finally he sat down next to her on the couch and took the forensic journal out of her grasp, careful not to lose her place. He set it on the table and used his index finger to gently raise her head to turn her towards him. He had to see into her eyes to know what was going on now. “Hey Bones, talk to me, what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

She looked slightly taken aback by his comment and he wished he could change the wording as she pulled away from his hand. She opened her mouth to speak but quickly closed it when he continued, “Look, I know, it’s confusing for me, but you shouldn’t be so confused. You remember everything. You…You know who I am better than I do. So what exactly is going on here? You seem to be basically ignoring me after everything that has happened, I don’t understand.”

He stood and began to pace while speaking, his frustration building in momentum, “I mean, look Bones, if I am not supposed to feel this way about you, or you don’t feel the same, just tell me.” His hand swiped through his hair, “I know you know what I’m talking about so don’t even try your ‘I don’t know what that means’ line. You know full well, as I am terrible at trying to hide it. Is it not how I was? I mean, did you not feel that way about me? Or maybe you did, but now…” He lowered his head looking down at the ground, “Now I’m not the same man am I?”

She rose from her seat on the couch and went over to him, resting her hand lightly on his arm, “Booth, please. Don’t do this, not now. I’ll give you all the answers you want when we figure you won’t gain any more of your memories back. You shouldn’t have to deal with me on top of everything else, and I am sorry. I don’t honestly mean to confuse you like this, or make you feel bad. I am confused though. There are things that I have been dealing with since you got out of surgery and didn’t wake for days. I realized things, things I feel I should wait to share with you, but don’t worry,” She placed her hands now on either of his arms as he raised his head up to look into her eyes. “I will tell you everything that’s been going through my head when the time is right okay?”

He nodded slightly but still looked a little dejected she continued, “And Booth, you are the same man, you haven’t changed. You’re still noble and gallant and trying to put everyone else before yourself. That’s what you need to stop doing. Stop worrying about everyone else and concentrate on getting back your memories, for you and no one else, or just relax and let them come when they come. If you don’t start concentrating on you though, they may never come. Stop being so righteous and worry about your own problems for once, let me worry about mine, and everyone else can do the same.”

He gave her a small smile, wondering where this speech came from, as he hadn’t remembered her ever talking to him in such an empathetic way before, “Thanks, Bones.”


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The days passed quietly for awhile, him remembering little things here and there, her keeping her distance. The doctor had given him the ok to be alone earlier today as his neurological function again tested normal and he seemed ready. Like there was no worry that he would relapse any longer. So she was in the guest room quietly packing her things, planning on leaving as soon as she could. She knew he needed time alone to figure things out, and she as more than willing to give it to him. The weeks that had passed after his Coma and his surgery had been confusing for her as well as him.

She was exhausted trying to keep up pretenses pretending that she was doing fine. She knew she wasn’t, and she was sure that if he hadn’t lost his ability to read her along with the rest of his memories he knew she wasn’t doing fine also. He always seemed to worry about her instead of himself. She thought that leaving would help him. Maybe then he could concentrate on himself. Maybe then his memory would come back. She wished he could be the same Booth. Wished more than anything that they could at least go back to the way they were.

Angela had told her she was just scared because of the new affinity she had realized she had for him, but she knew better. She wasn’t afraid of the affinity itself, but of never feeling like she had the right to impose it on him. She was afraid he would never come back to being his old self, and it was the old self she had fallen for, not that this man didn’t still have all of the old attributes of her Booth, he did, she hadn’t lied to him. She just didn’t feel right about imposing her feelings on him right now. She was fearful that if she did one day he would wake up with all his memories and feel she had taken advantage of his state of mind. That she had forced him to cross that line that he never wanted to cross. She had to know for sure when she told him how she felt that he was whole.

Booth was sitting on the couch, his expression grim, when she came out of the guest room clutching her bags, “You know you don’t have to leave right?” He looked up at her, “I mean I know the doc says I’m ok to be on my own now, but I mean, I kinda like having you here.”

“Booth,” She looked pleadingly at him, “You’ll be fine. You have my number if you need anything. Just call. The time doesn’t matter. Plus I have to go back to work; I’ve been away for too long. Cam’s probably going nuts with Mr. Nigel-Murray filling in for me.” She gave him a small smile and set her bags by the door. She went over and sat next to him on the couch. “How about you come to my place tomorrow for dinner? Just because I’m not staying here doesn’t mean we won’t be seeing each other. I’m going in to the lab tomorrow, but I’ll take off around seven, so I should be able to have it ready by eight, what do you say?”

He grinned at her attempt to make him feel better about her leaving, even though it didn’t make him feel better at all, he was pleased that she had tried. “Sure Bones, that sounds great. Eight o’clock.”

He walked her to the door, “How about I carry your bags down for you?”

“No Booth, I’m perfectly capable of carry a couple of bags.” She smiled at him, barely realizing how close they were standing until Booth leaned in towards her and she could feel his breathe sweeping across her face. Her eyes widened slightly at this, but she was never one to back down, and thinking he was going to argue his case to her she didn’t move away from him.

Instead Booth leaned in farther, whispering in her ear, his hot breathe sending shivers down her spine, “Of course you are,” He then pulled back slightly, away from her ear and kissed her gently on the cheek, leaving her slightly flushed, “So tomorrow at eight then, it’s a date.” He grinned as he backed off and watched her get all flustered for a moment, but not speak. She grabbed her bags and left, turning back to look at him before pressing the button to call the elevator.

“Bye Booth,” She managed before getting into the lift.

“Bye Bones.” His grin growing softer and finally falling as the elevator doors shut.

He sighed loudly and closed the door. The one thing that he thought about for the rest of the night was the next night, dinner, she had invited him to dinner. He had even called it a date, even though it is sometimes a figure of speech he knew how literal she usually took things, and she hadn’t corrected him. A smile once again grew on his face, she hadn’t corrected him. That was progress. Now hopefully he could just get his stubborn memories to cooperate. He knew that if he could just remember everything she might be willing to tell him what he needed to hear. Good or bad, he didn’t care at this point, he needed to know. Either Hodgins was right, and she cared for him deeply, or Jared was right and the caring was more like a family thing. Either way as long as she was in his life he could handle it. He just knew for certain, with or without all his memories, that she was one of the few things he would never be able to live his life without.


When Booth awoke the next morning sadness at being alone swept through him. Looking over at his clock he saw that it was Nine o’clock, he found himself wishing the doctor hadn’t given him the ok to be alone. While on one hand that meant he was that much closer to returning to work, as Sweets had informed him he could do in two weeks since he had passed all the required exams and physical testing. He seemed to remember his job quite well, almost like it was an instinct rather then a learned skill. At the same time though, he wanted Brennan there with him. He wanted to wake up and find her in his kitchen, or just lounging on the sofa, not that ever really did that. He just knew he wanted her close.

He exhaled deeply as he rose up from the bed, making his way to the shower. He had another session with Sweets today, a session Brennan wouldn’t be accompanying him to, as she was back to work at the lab now. He had about two hours before his session so he showered and made himself a light breakfast. He tried everything to distract himself, but he couldn’t sway his mind from thoughts of her. The one thing he couldn’t remember clearly from before was his relationship with her; most other things had come back to him through the last few weeks of her staying with him. He hadn’t told her all of it though; afraid it would hurt her that she was the one aspect of his previous life that remained cloudy.

He remembered her inviting him to dinner later that night and an anxious smile crept across his face. Nervousness swept through him as he slid on his shoes, getting ready to leave for his therapy session with Sweets. Should he really treat this like a date? Bring flowers and wine? He decided he would, right after therapy he would find a florist and pick out a bouquet, then find a nice wine, perhaps he’d call up Angela and ask her what type Brennan liked best. He was filled with a nervous energy on the drive that he was unable to release, so the moment he put the car in park he jerked open the handle and leapt from the vehicle, practically jogging through the underground parking structure towards the buildings entrance.

As he entered the therapists office and flopped down on the couch his leg jumped involuntarily, over and over tapping the floor. Sweets immediately picked up on the nervous tick and eyed him for a moment, trying to discern if it was something good or bad making him feel this nervous, “So Agent Booth, did something happen? You seem….a bit nervous, which isn’t like you.”

Booth just grinned and shook his head, “Nope everything is wonderful. So what technique to get more memories back will we be using today?”

“Well first I wanted to ask you a few questions,” Sweets looked sternly at the agent sitting across from him, “I was wondering, as when we have sessions with Dr. Brennan here you have refused to let me divulge anything about what memories you have actually remembered, yet when she isn’t present you inform me of what you have recalled. Have you told her yet? Have you told her how much you do remember?”

Booth took in a deep breathe and let out a sighing one before looking seriously at Sweets, “No. And I’ll tell ya why Sweets. I can’t tell her what I remember because it would hurt her, don’t you see, she is what I can’t remember. Everything else, even most of the cases I worked with her, I remember it all except for her. I mean I’ve had flashes of her, mostly when she was hurt or in danger, but….nothing definitive. I remember bits of working with her too, but again, nothing of whom she is, what she was to me. I remember everyone but her, and I think it would kill her, so I can’t tell her until I remember her too.”

Sweets smiled slightly as the realization dawned on him, “Well at least that’s consistent with your pre surgery persona. You always did put Dr. Brennan’s feelings above yours and anyone else’s.” Sweets paused to give the agent a look that was almost equal parts sympathy and admiration, “She’s always been lucky to have you, ya know?”

“What are ya saying there Sweets? That I’m not just as lucky to have her?” His face crinkled up as he spoke, a sarcastic tone slipping in to his questions before slipping to a serene almost dreamy tone, “Cause I’ll tell you what Sweets, since I got out, and even before, she’s been there. She’s always there when I need her. I’m sure she always was, even if I can’t remember it. I’m still sure of it. Otherwise why would she be so insistent on my care now? Why she be so…” He let his train of thought end there as he looked into Sweets eyes, almost daring him to challenge the statements he had made.

“No Agent Booth, I completely agree with you, you’re both very lucky, and you have always been there for each other in times of crisis.” Sweets gave him a sincere smile and they continued on with the therapy session playing random memory games that Sweets had made up using pictures of people and places. Booth was to look at a picture and tell him a story about the place or person in the photo. The only one he had trouble with was when he got to a photo of Brennan.

The photo of Brennan brought with it a flood of emotions; ranging from anger to fear to compassion to love, and all the emotions that lie in between. He saw flashes again, a hand sticking out of the ground which his own hands clasped for dear life. The scene in the warehouse again flashed through his mind as well, and then a new image he had not seen before one of his hand dangling an earring. He could feel it inside him that the earring held a significance, that it had a deeper meaning as he felt his hand clasp around the object and slide it into his pocket, but what that deeper meaning was he had no idea. Then he saw her hovering over him, her father, Max came over and asked her for keys before running off. The look in her eyes showed her relief, relief that she had found him, and in that instant he knew that she saved him too, from so many things.

Sweets eyed the agent before him as he stared at Brennan’s photo, watching the plethora of emotions sweeping over him until he finally settled on a smile. Sweets could hear the agent humming a tune under his breathe and he wondered what memory was flashing through him mind as the tune played. Then he heard the agent begin to mumble lyrics, of which Sweets could only catch a few, “Thinkin’ bout…..you held me….so satisfied…see your smile…..on tryin’”

Booth finally broke out of his own mind and looked up at Sweets, “It’s starting to come back.” He grinned widely, “I remembered more about her that time.” He had a satisfied expression on his face, as he then proceeded to look back into his mind, Sweets could only assume he was trying to replay the new memories he had had of Brennan, most likely the last one, the one that had caused him to stare off into space as if in a daydream.

Sweets decided it was time to interrupt his thoughts and bring an end to their session, as he had other patients scheduled to come in, “Well Agent Booth,” Sweets began and then paused for a few moments until the agent in question was looking at him once more, “I would say you have made some excellent progress, and as soon as you’re comfortable talking to Dr. Brennan about it, I see no reason, as you are physically healed, why you couldn’t come back to work.” At Booth’s confused expression Sweets began to elaborate, “If you can’t tell Dr. Brennan that your memories are back what do you think she would do to me for clearing you for duty? I’m not taking that risk; I do in fact value my life, so I can’t clear you until she knows you have your memories. You let me know when that is.” Sweets gave him an encouraging smile, hoping that it may prove to be the catalyst to get him back on track and moving forward.

“Oh, yeah, of course kid, I’ll talk to her about it tonight, or…well I’ll try to.” Booth fidgeted in his seat for a moment before getting up and saying his goodbye to Sweets and then heading out of his office.


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He had called it a date, and while a part of her was worried over that assessment another part of her felt as though it were the best thing she’d ever heard. The next day she had gone to the lab as she told him she would. She had tried to work, but her mind just wouldn’t stay focused. She looked over the slides Angela had sent to her email over and over and couldn’t seem to focus on what she was supposed to be doing with them.

Around noon Angela strolled her way into the office and sat in the chair opposite her desk, “Okay sweetie spill.”

Angela looked at her expectantly while Brennan just looked back confused, as Brennan opened her mouth to tell her friend she didn’t know what she was talking about Angela began speaking again, “You look like you are on cloud nine. What happened?”

Angela grinned widely, “I look like I’m on a cloud? You do know that that is physically impossible right Ange?” Brennan’s expression was still that of confusion.

“Bren, sweetie, I just mean you seem really really happy, and a bit distracted, so what happened? Booth’s memory is back? He kissed you? What?” Angela gasped mid ramble as another thought hit her, “Did you tell him?”

“No Ange,” Brennan let out a light chuckle, “Nothing like that. I just, well. It’s good to be back at the lab, back in my own apartment.”

“That’s not everything and you know I know it,” She replied one eyebrow quirked upwards, “You know I’ll just keep bugging you until you tell me so just go ahead and let it out already!”

“There is nothing to ‘let out’ as you say. I’m just pleased that my routine is starting to get back to normal.” She paused, a slight frown creeping across her face, “Although, I must say, it will be much better when Sweets finally clears Booth so that he can come back to work; working on cases again is something I am looking forward to doing.”

“mm hmm” Angela said in obvious disbelief, “So the only thing that has to do with Booth in all of your happiness is the sad part, the part where you’re back to work and he’s not? Uh uh, sweetie, I’m not buying it. What happened?”

A small smile crept across Brennan’s face even as she tried hard to fight against it, shaking her head as her friends eyebrows rose and she gave an expectant look, “Fine, maybe there is one thing, but I shouldn’t” Brennan’s upper lip crinkled up towards her nose as she tried to fight an even larger smile, but failing yet again a smile was produced by her lips, “I really shouldn’t think too much on it.”

“You shouldn’t think too much on what?” Angela asked with a huge grin of her own as she leaned forwards on the desk bringing them closer and almost looking conspiratorial.

“Well…” Brennan looked down at the desk and then back up at Angela, speaking so softly Angela had to strain to hear her and so quickly it took her a moment to piece together what her friend had said, “I invited Booth to dinner tonight and he called it a date.”

After she spoke Brennan looked away, not sure if she could take the look of excitement in her friends’ eyes. She spoke again, a little louder now but just as fast, “It’s just a phrase people use right? I mean ‘it’s a date’, that’s just something people sometimes say right? It doesn’t,” Brennan finally looked back at Angela her eyes pleading for an explanation, “mean anything right?”

Angela spoke with a grin, but kept her tone subtle, “Well, that depends, did you correct him or did you let him say ‘it’s a date’?”

“I didn’t correct him,” Brennan let out a sigh, “Oh, your right, I should have corrected him, I don’t want him to get the wrong impression, right?”

“Sweetie,” Angela took on a serious tone and looked her friend in the eye, “If its what you want, quit stalling, okay? You love him, whether or not you’ve told him, or even if you are totally convinced of it yourself. I know you do, I can see it, and even before this whole mess with the surgery and the coma and the memory issues, he loved you too, and he still does. So if it’s something you want to pursue, why not start now? I mean who cares if all his memories aren’t back? He remembers the important stuff, like how very important you are to him. Like how much he cares for you, how much he loves you.” Angela saw Brennan opening her mouth to retort but stopped her with a hand in the air as she continued, “Don’t you even think of telling me he doesn’t, I’ve seen the way he looks at you, heard the things he says in that dreamy little tone of his, like you are his heaven. How in awe of you he is. He loves you and don’t start trying to deny it, I don’t want to hear it.”

Brennan eyed her friend for a moment, trying to come up with an argument, her confusion over actually wanting something to happen between herself and Booth however was clouding her mind and making it difficult for her to argue the point. She did have feelings for Booth, but love? Love is an irrational emotion, one that your synapses trick your mind into feeling by over production of serotonin. She didn’t believe love to be an actual occurrence, but what do people define love as?

Ange had once told her love was about trust, wanting to spend all your time with someone, wanting to share your life with them, never be away from them. She had said that if they were the last thing you thought of before going to bed, and the first when you got up, it was love. Brennan was so lost in her own thoughts she didn’t notice Angela stealthily leaving the office.

She thought about how much she did trust Booth, how she trusted him with her life, every aspect of it. Any time she needed help Booth was the person she had called, whether it be being buried alive by the gravedigger or emotional support over some tragic incident that had occurred, he had always been there for her, and she trusted him to be. Also, more and more lately she had wanted to spend her time with him, not just a casual lunch at the dinner, but any moment she had free she was wishing she was with him. Did that mean…?

As for thinking about them before sleep and upon waking, lately she had been every night, but she was certain that was because of his medical condition, so she tried to think back to before the tumor. Had it been the same then? She thought that it had, and she also worried needlessly about him most of the time, sometimes having nightmares of what could happen to him. She remembered the incident with Gallagher, when he had been kidnapped and she had resorted to using her father to help rescue him, she had been so desperate. She hadn’t trusted her father at all then, had tried to turn him in to the FBI until she had so selfishly needed his help. She wouldn’t have asked her father for help for anyone else, except for maybe Angela, yet she did for Booth, because he had meant so much to her even then.

Perhaps she did ‘love’ Booth in that sense of the word. She would do almost anything for him, and how she had felt after the Pam Nunan case, when she had believed him dead, those were possibly the worst two weeks of her adult life. She hadn’t known such pain since her abandonment, and she couldn’t bare to show that pain to anyone. She had reverted back to a time before Booth, all nighters at the lab, just throwing herself into nothing but her work. She had identified an innumerable amount of limbo cases in those two weeks and a large part of her did want to kill Sweets for letting her believe him to be dead. She had only managed to hide her anger so as not to let on to anyone the amount of pain she had felt. She remembered feeling so vulnerable and so weak for suffering over the loss of one individual. She had desperately clung to the distance techniques she used regularly with murder victims she was set to identify. That didn’t stop her from breaking down of the few nights she did relent and go home, dreams of him jumping in front of that bullet for her replaying over and over in her dreams. Waking in a cold sweat and finding it difficult to breathe.

Yes, she decided, she did love Booth, at least by the terms of Angela’s definition. She still could do nothing about it however as, even if he was infatuated with her now, she would never know for certain until his memory was regained. As right now it could simply be a ‘Florence Nightingale’ type of situation, as it is not entirely uncommon for people who have to rely on a caregiver to develop romantic feelings for the caregiver. As she had been his primary caregiver as he recovered it honestly could be that. She hated to think it, but before the coma he hadn’t really given her any real indication of his feelings.

Sure he had hinted things to her about love, had told her about how everything would happen eventually, how there is someone for everyone, how she was special, how loving someone was worth it, but had he ever meant it as himself. As he would be the one person meant to be with her? She had no way to know.

Finally shaking herself free of the thoughts, as now they were becoming far too speculative, she turned back to her computer, determined to finish the chapter she was working on before going home to get ready for what would possibly be a date, but was more likely a lovely dinner between two good friends. She pushed all thoughts of him that she could from her mind and concentrated on nothing but her book until it was time to go.

Chapter 17

Booth was anxious as he walked up the steps towards Brennan’s apartment. He wasn’t sure how he should treat this dinner, was this an actual date? Just a meal between friends? Regardless on his way he had stopped and picked up a bottle of red wine and some flowers. He had thought about getting roses and decided it would be too much of a romantic gesture, so he finally went with what his gut was pulling him towards and got a lovely arrangement of daffodils and daisies. He placed the bottle of wine in the crook of his arm that was holding the flowers and brought his hand up to knock on the door, hesitating for a moment due to his anxiety. He finally drew the courage from within himself and rapped three times on the door.

When Brennan answered he was speechless at first, her hair was cascading in large curls about her face, her make up lightly done, and she was wearing a dress, nothing to fancy, but one that conformed to her body in a way that caused his heart rate to quicken its pace. All of that was lovely to behold, but the first thing he saw was her eyes, they were full of joy and anxiety. She also held a wide smile on her face that made him think she was an angel sent down from the heavens, to which he found himself wishing she was his angel. Realizing he had been standing in the doorway staring at her for almost a full minute he shook his head gently and formed a large grin of his own while clearing his throat to speak.

“Hey Bones,” He said gently, “These are for you.” He flushed lightly as he held out the bouquet of flowers he had purchased.

Brennan grasped the flowers and found herself to be speechless for a moment as her mind ran rampant. The flowers he had chosen, they were her favorites, had he remembered or was this a case of dumb luck as they call it. “Thank you Booth, please come on in, dinner should be ready any minute now.”

With that Brennan stepped aside to allow him access to her apartment closing the door behind him after he came in. “Make yourself at home Booth,” She said noticing the bottle of wine he held in his hands, “Shall I get some wine glasses?”

He turned towards her smiling, realizing too late their proximity. As soon as he turned their bodies were near flush with each other and in the instant before they both came to their senses and stepped back slightly he caught a whiff of her scent which made him close his eyes and lose himself in his thoughts for a moment, lost in a long ago moment when she had been in his embrace. The place looked like her office and it looked as though she was upset. He heard his own voice saying something about a guy hug the instant before she had clung to him. Opening his eyes once more he spoke, “Sure Bones, I’ll open it if you direct me to your corkscrew.”

She motioned for him to follow her into the kitchen and pulled out a drawer indicating it was inside before reaching up into her cabinets to get the glasses. Setting them down beside him on the counter she then proceeded to put the flowers he had given her into a vase, replacing her tables centerpiece with them instead. By the time she returned to the kitchen the wine had been poured she glanced at the oven timer, “Should be just a few more minutes.”

Booth gazed longingly at her as he rose up his glace, trying desperately to be nonchalant, “Well then, can I propose a toast?”

She flashed him a crooked grin before giving him a half nod of her head. They rose their glasses and he began to speak, “I just wanted to propose a toast to you, for everything you’ve done. You’ve helped me so much in these past weeks, and I imagine our entire partnership. You’ve gotten me to see so many things so much clearer than I ever had before, and you’re simply amazing. I couldn’t ask for a truer, more compassionate and caring friend. You truly are one of a kind Bones.”

She flushed at his speech but drank a sip after he clanked glasses with her, “Thank you Booth but…” At that moment the oven timer went off and she discarded her argument, rushing to the stove and pulling out the dishes of macaroni and cheese she had prepared. She had hoped upon preparing the same dish she had for him on a few occasions may spark to life some distant memory in his mind. Them having dinner here at her place, his love for the food in question, anything really. She didn’t know how much of his memory he had regained, but from the things she did know it wasn’t enough to satisfy her, and as far as she was concerned, at this point, every little bit helped.

“That smells delicious Bones,” Booth remarked as he followed her out to the table where she set the hot dishes on hot pads and motioned for him to sit while she went for serving utensils. When she returned she sat in the chair next to him instead of across from him, her desire to be closer to him taking hold before she could rectify it without looking ridiculous.

After serving themselves Macaroni and the vegetables she had prepared Booth took a heaping bite of the noodles and a wide grin formed on his face. “Do you like it?” She asked.

He got a strange sense of déjà vu at her words, however he replied with a nod as his mouth was too full to utter anything more. Once he swallowed he looked at her and grinned, “It’s wonderful, one of these days you’re going to have to tell me the secret of your mac’n’cheese.”

“Sure Booth, anytime” She responded. As he leaned towards her to nudge her gently on the arm playfully he had the urge to drop all pretenses and just kiss her. I mean what’s the worst that could happen? Sure she could kick his ass and throw him out, but at least then he’d know. He just knew if he could just kiss her he would understand what he felt for her, maybe even understand what it was she felt for him. There were times when his mind was telling him that she wanted him as much as he wanted her, but without that proof he couldn’t bring himself to take that chance; the chance that maybe he had misjudged her, and if he crossed that line it would be too far for her. Something she may not be able to forgive even in his current mind set, so he pulled back.

They began chatting about their days, how she had identified two sets of remains before going on to write a full chapter of her novel. He stumbled through telling her a little about his session with Sweets, not revealing much of his regained memory. After awhile they just drifted into a contented silence in which they would steal glances at each other between bites. Brennan not wanting to bore him with facts about thousand year old remains and Booth trying to figure out a way to broach his regained memories, memories that only moderately consisted of her.

By the time they had finished eating Booth wasn’t sure he could bear to tell her, knowing it would wipe away the smile she had been wearing all evening. Could he risk awhile not going back to work for awhile longer and simply not tell her? Probably not if he wanted to keep his job at the bureau, let alone as liaison to the Jeffersonian. He had to tell her, he couldn’t put it off any longer even if it would break his own heart as much as hers to hear that he could recall everything except for those moments when it was just them, those words he had spoken just to her, the only thing he wanted so desperately to recall he couldn’t.

They both stood, making their way to the living room without a word, almost as though through instinct. They made to sit beside each other on the couch. Brennan had picked up on Booth’s anxiety and it was causing her some anxiety of her own. She took in a deep breathe preparing for whatever it was Booth was about to say and the tension between the pair mounted.

“Bones um…there’s something I gotta tell ya and I don’t think you’re gonna like it much.” He cast a wary glance at her before looking down into his hands as they twisted together in his lap. Upon seeing this Brennan reached over and grabbed one of his hands holding it within both of her own and pulled lightly on it, trying to get him to look at her. When he finally did she began to speak.

“Booth, you can tell me anything, I’m here for you whether it’s good or bad, we’ll figure it out whatever it is.” The tenderness and comfort that shined through in her eyes was too much for Booth to bear and he couldn’t resist the urge to cup her face with his free hand after shifting in position to face her more.

“Oh Bones,” His eyes closed for a moment while he felt conflicting emotions, the pleasure he felt from her touch and the strength he was drawing from it and at the same time the dread of what was to come. He knew, somehow he just knew, when he told her she would retract her hand from his, and possibly push him away, thinking there was more to the reason he couldn’t remember her. Sweets had told him that the most likely cause for him being unable to remember her was the conflicting emotions Sweets had believed he felt before the memory loss. Booth hoped that was the reason, because he couldn’t imagine anyone not wanting to remember her. Couldn’t imagine he was blocking her out purposely, as he knew in his heart, in his soul, that this was the woman he was meant to be with. Not simply from what had come to pass after he had awoken sans memory, but from the flashes he was lucky enough to get of her. The look he had seen in her eyes, the pull towards her he had felt in his heart every since he first opened his eyes and gazed into that beautiful face.

Unable to bear the possibility of hurting her he detangled his hand from her own and decided to take a chance, to try one last thing. If she hated him for this it would be easier for her when he divulged what he did remember. His thoughts flew out the window and he let his feelings and his body take him over as he reached his hand up to her face once more, leaning towards her and pulling her closer at the same time so that their lips met. He wasn’t sure what to expect when he went to kiss her gently on the lips, but was encouraged drastically as his attempt at a light peck grew into something more. She parted her lips delicately and the kiss grew in intensity and a fiery passion welled within him when she snaked her arms around his own neck drawing him closer to her, deepening the kiss further.

She felt him tense around her and began to worry that she had mistaken his intentions; perhaps he had meant a friendly peck on the lips, not a romantic gesture. Her panic subsided however as he let his fingers tangle in her hair, pulling her ever closer to him.

As the electricity from their kiss flowed through him he felt as if it was lighting up the synapses in his brain as they fired through every memory he had ever had of her. The times when she had been happy colliding with memories of tears and comfort, compassion and intrigue. Everything that she was came flooding back to him in the midst of that first kiss and he tensed as he relived certain scenes in his mind. As the need for oxygen became too great he finally pulled back and took in a deep satisfying breath.

A grin began to form on his face as he looked at her, her lips swollen slightly and still parted as she tried to capture another breathe. “Bones…” His voice was barely a whisper exacerbated by his sense of awe at what had just occurred. “I remember…”

Her questioning gaze implored him to continue, to explain what he meant by remember, “Everything,” he said happily gesturing with his arms, “I remember everything,” he leapt up from the couch pulling her with him and into a hug. “One kiss from you and I remember everything,” He chuckled lightly, “Now why didn’t we just start out with kissing?” He joked, spinning her around as she stood shocked.

Finally coming to her senses as Booth set her back to the ground, “Everything?” She spoke with a grin, “Really? Everything?”

“Yes, everything, including the fact that I’ve wanted to kiss you for about as long as I can remember.”

“Really?” She remarked playfully, “Why didn’t you?”

Her head was cocked to the side as she studied him, he reached out to her again, wrapping his arms firmly about her waist as he spoke softly, “Truthfully?” He paused momentarily waiting for an indication and she nodded, “Cause I was afraid you would kick my ass.” He said with a grin.

She lightly shoved him with her arm, but obviously wasn’t attempting to get away from him, “So why now? Did you think I wouldn’t kick a brain damaged man’s ass?” She smirked so he would know she was joking.

“Ouch, Bones. Brain damaged, really? That hurts,” He joked before telling her seriously. “Well, I just decided to risk it this time, I’m honestly not sure why I became so brave, but I’m definitely glad I did.”

“And are you planning on risking it again?” She taunted playfully as she brought her mouth within an inch of his own.

“Absolu…” He didn’t get to finish his response as he found his way to her mouth and began kissing her passionately once again. The moment seemed to freeze around them by some sort of magic, each forgetting what had made this moment come to pass as they became more and more lost in each other. A brilliant light seemed to shimmer around them as the two separate beings converged into one symbiotic organism, working together towards something beautiful, something primal, and something neither had ever imagined possible. As they both recognized the significance of this moment they each noted in their own minds that they would never have been able to share this with any one else. This was something unique to them. Something that they had been striving for as long as they could remember, but each in turn had been too afraid to reach out and grasp it. Everything negative seemed to melt away around them, leaving the pair to experience all the happiness and joy in that moment together that neither had believed they would gain in a lifetime.

End

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Thank you, and I hope you enjoyed the ride, as it turned out far from how I expected it to in the beginning, but sometimes that is what happens. Please do let me know what you thought!!

that was so amazing.
so emotional and perfect.
i loved it!!

Thank you so much!!!

I FINALLY got to sit down and read this. I really enjoyed it! The ending, I don't want to ruin the ending for anybody, it sounds fantastical, believable and yet still fantastical, and I could soo believe that it could really, in real life, happen just like that! Thanks for posting!! Very nice!

Thank you, I'm so pleased you enjoyed it!! (honestly I am terrible at posting stuff, hence why I waited until it was finished and posted the whole thing at once.) Really am glad you enjoyed it though!! Thank you so much!!

Sorry it took so long to reply, life has been a little crazy.

~T~