Thinking of You

A/N: Well, I haven’t written in a while because my muse departed me quite abruptly. However, this came to me so I thought I would share. The lyrics are from Thinking of You by Katy Perry. I hope you enjoy!

Brennan shifted uncomfortably, trying to extricate herself from the bed as quietly as she could. The covers were rumpled and barely covering the naked man sound asleep next to her. Sunlight was peeking through the shades and she braced herself for the coming day.

She stood, her bare feet against the cool floor, and took a deep breath, waiting. And then there it was, like a close friend and wanted enemy at the same time.

Guilt.

As was par with these situations, she had every desire to hop into the shower and wash the remnants of the night before. Instead, she chose to go to the kitchen and start the kettle.

This was her penance; living with what she had done. Never allowing herself once to remove the guilt. And yet, she did it over and over again, as if she needed some stranger to remind her of him, of how they were together. There was a brief moment, every time, where he was there with her. Maybe it was the sound she made when she orgasmed, the taste of lips on hers, or the feel of arms around her. But for that one tiny moment, Booth was there with her.

When they had fallen into bed together, it had been everything. When he wiped the tears from her eyes, her heart beat faster. And when he smiled down at her, she couldn’t help but return the feeling.

Her knuckles turned white as she gripped the counter. Everything had fallen apart when he left and it was never to be the same again. The team fell one by one, until there was only her. Yes, she was paying for her mistakes.

“Baby?”

She squeezed her eyes shut as if she could physically shield the sound, then turned around, blinking rapidly.

“What?” He tone was harsh, harsher then this guy deserved, but she couldn’t help herself.

“Ummm...I was wondering if you wanted breakfast?”

“I have to go to work. So if you want to get your clothes...” she gestured to the bedroom.

He got the hint and headed back into the bedroom, leaving her to sag against the counter.

She watched as he returned and left her apartment without another word, giving the door a rather hard slam behind him.

This was it this time; there would be no more. For someone whose life used to be all about having ‘biological urges’, she could no longer handle sex without everything else that came along with it. Booth blew that out of the water for her long ago.

The clock ticked and a glance told her she was going to be late. But she couldn’t move. Her feet felt as if they were sinking into the floor and the room spun around her, around and around until she managed to turn around and throw up the contents of her stomach in the sink.

She sank to the ground, her body shaking as her hands slapped against the floor, grasping at nothing. She was losing it; her control, her sanity maybe, she wasn’t sure. All she knew as heaving sobs escaped her lips was that she didn’t have him.
And without Booth, she was still herself; still Dr. Temperance Brennan and everything that came with it.

Only with a little hole cut out.

One she was discovering she could never fill.

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes.

Wow, that was great, Willgirl! Great detail, and wonderful portrayal of Bren's emotions. Short, but powerful.

awesome!

That was very good--I love the tone, very sad, very morose--I hope we hear more soon!!!

Such a dark place, and so real, Will.
And with this lovely Valentine couple on the wallpaper!

I love it! Can't wait to learn more about what happened to the group

Beautiful and so sad...
(But your siggy is something! Ziva and her English... )

I love this story. I mean I love Katy Perry. And her new video Thinking Of You. Its so deep. And... I thought it was very good. And.... now how you portrayed it in B&B situation.... It almost made me cry. I was listening that same song when i read that... SO... It is so well captured...
I'll take My hat off in front of you Queen.
*bows*

WOW this is a good story. What has happened to everyone else? Can't wait to read more.

Loved it, Willi. So emotional

another great one! Loved it, it was very emotional!

As it is my favourite fic, i found a video for this. Enjoy everybody, Like i did..

aww, thanks Cass. I enjoyed it. Who sings that?

The song is Thinking of You by Katy Perry.

Great video, thanks for sharing!

Thanks everyone for the comments!

Her knuckles turned white as she gripped the counter. Everything had fallen apart when he left and it was never to be the same again. The team fell one by one, until there was only her. Yes, she was paying for her mistakes.

This is intriguing mainly because Booth is often portrayed as the guilty one, the one holding on to all of the regrets and it's refreshing to see this POV.

Ah will, there's a reason they call you the queen! Brilliant, stupendous, marvellous, astounding...inflated your ego enough yet?!

It was heartbreaking and yet not pitying. Definitely a hard balance to get right but you managed it perfectly. Not that I'd expect anything else from you!

You totally suck!! God, I don't even know how you can look at yourself in the mirror?? What the hell was that??? Blah blah blah, they were once in love and now they're not, well Boohoo, hit it or quit it!!!

Haha, I'm kidding!!

It was great, of course as always. I'm trying to get back to some fanfic, 'cause I haven't read any lately!! You rock my socks, but you knew that, and I thought it was amazing!!

Good job sweetie!!

Love ya,
Bella

Wow, I didn't even now I had new reviews! Thanks everyone!!!