Between Sleep and Awake (Rated M, mystery, angst, fluff, insanity)

Mama,

OH MY GOD, I'm LOVING THIS!! SO GOOD! I love how you are keeping the stories right and even though the bouncing is kind of confusing, it's also brilliant. The stories are intertwining so beautifully and we all know that Booth will some how come to the rescue, but also the memories of him are what's keeping her alive. Brilliantly done, I can't wait for more!!

Bella

Oh, you must enter a new chappie soon! I insist!

I will try soon and I love your new picture in your siggy.... it was a perfect moment.

Thanks I put that in the screencaps thread too...

Try. I will be waiting.

LOL Thanks!!! And I see the new avatar lol! My sister has been visiting, so I haven't had as much time to write as I like. I usually like writing in the evening. That seems to be when the words flow the best and when I'm tired I think a little crazier.... so that's when stories like this come about lol.

How do you make your avatars so sparkly?

When ever you can post some new thoughts I appreciate it No rush. I believe everyone want a good chapter.

very exciting, i am very invested in what happened

Part V: Stages

My dreams were barren at first. Empty, dark, quiet. The heat from my fever brought a myriad of childhood memories.

"Tempe!" Russ called. I turned to see his twelve year old face smiling back at me. Eyes bright, freckles sprinkling his cheeks, wearing a yellow striped shirt that he got for his birthday.

I chased him through the waves, the hot summer sun beaming down on us. The scent of salty sea water, cold surf against our toes, a gentle mist against our sun dappled cheeks.

The door closing brought me back to the small room in the cellar. This time the shoes were black, polished. As the man walked, striped socks peeped from beneath black slacks. Then he took a seat beside me.

"Sit up," he told me.

"I can't."

"Try."

I bore weight on my arm and I was surprised that it did not hurt as I thought it would. My fractured ribs didn't grind beneath the added weight, and the act of sitting didn't cause the blood to pulse painfully through my head.

"Why aren't you in the hospital?" I scolded him.

He shrugged, "As it turns out, I'm fine."

"Fine? Booth, you were shot. In the neck. The bullet knicked your corotid. You almost bled to death in my arms! You are not fine."

"Said the woman who... You look like hell, Bones."

"I just need a shower."

"And a doctor. C'mon. I'll drive you."

The SUV was parked directly in front of the little brick home. I settled inside of it and Booth rounded the front and hopped in.

"Am I hallucinating?"

He laughed sardonically, "Probably."

"I, um," my eyes began filling with tears and he could hear it in my voice.

"Hey, Bones," he reached over and lifted my chin. "It's going to be alright."

"You're only saying that because I'm directing my subconscious to initiate a conversation that I want to hear."

"I thought you didn't believe in your subconscious."

"No, I don't believe in psychology. Besides, it's hard not to believe in my subconscious when I'm speaking with a dead man."

"Bones." He pulled the vehicle to the side of the road, got out and came to the passenger side door. He opened it and gave me his hand, which I took before clamboring out into the sunshine. Then he hugged me. I sunk my body into his, burying my face against his neck, breathing in what it felt like to be in his arms, probably for the last time. He kissed my head, then said, "I'm not dead. I'm sorry I can't be there for you."

"I just... I miss you so much and you could be dead." He held me tighter.

"It's a medically induced coma."

"Which you have a sixty percent chance of not coming out of," I replied in a tearful voice.

"You know what, Bones?" I tipped my head back to see his face more clearly. He caressed it with the palm of his hand, his fingers threading through my hair. I took a calming breath and breathed out slowly, trying to keep my composure. "You are a difficult woman. A beautiful woman, but difficult." We laughed softly. "And I love you."

Now my eyes studied his, "What?"

"I said that I love you."

"Why... Why would you say that?"

"Because I do, Bones."

"Booth, you're an apparition."

"An apparition who loves you."

"At the risk of sounding like Sweets, if you are a wraith and I am in that cellar, then the words that come out of your mouth are the ones that I conduct you to say."

Booth considered this and grinned, "So what you really want to know is, why would you make me say that I love you?"

"Yeah," I replied weakly.

"I think it's partly because you know it's true and partly because you want to hear it."

I hugged him again, my cheek resting against his neck. "I wish I knew you were OK. I don't even know how long I've been down here."

"Twenty-four hours."

Again I looked at him and studied his face. "How did you come to that conclusion?"

"The question is, how did you come to that conclusion?"

I thought for a moment. "Every time I opened my eyes, I could see only stars through the duct tape."

"What else has changed, besides the stars, Bones?"

"The... the room I'm being held in."

He smiled.

"It has something to do with this room, doesn't it?" I quickly ran through the information that I knew on the victims. "Booth, it doesn't make sense. I'm not the heart person, you are. I don't know what is going on in this guy's head."

"He wants to purify women, right?"

"He believes in stages of purification. Buddha teaches seven stages of purification."

He smiled encouragingly.

"But that's too many stages, Booth. I don't think he'll drag me through seven different rooms."

"You're the anthropologist, Bones. Who else has stages of purification?"

"Oh, G-d, it's not Buddha, it's Sulfism. Sulfism teaches four stages of purification. The Nimatullahi Sulfi Order. This man has some sort of distorted view of the whole process. There are four stages. Self Being Emptied, Self Being Illuminated, Self Being Adorned, and Self Having Passed Away-or, fana. The whole idea of this group is to grow closer to G-d, but I sincerely doubt that any god would be pleased with murder."

"So what stage is this?" He looked around. We were no longer in open air, but once again in the small room with the bare bulb and lifeless fan on the ceiling.

"I don't know."

"What do you squints do when you don't know?"

"Deduce a prediction from the explanation," I said quietly, "Well I doubt this is fana. I am not dead."

"How do you know?" He smiled teasingly.

"You know I don't believe in the afterlife, Booth. After death, there's nothing. This is not nothing."

"I'll let that one slide, Bones."

"I think the ribbon is 'Self Being Adorned.'"

"OK."

"This must be Self Being Illuminated."

"It only makes sense."

"It has logical integrity," I agreed.

Booth smiled, but as he did, his face became watery and transparent.

"Booth?" I leaned forward to hold him once more. He was gone before I could reach out for him. Four stages. Four days. Stacy Kinnet had disappeared on the twelfth. She was discovered on the seventeenth and had been dead for a little more than a day. Stacy Kinnet whose breasts were full with the gasses of decomposition, whose face was muddy and soapy with adipocere. She had been through the stages.

Four stages. Four days and I was on the second day. I shook with cold, fear, and fever. How, exactly, was I to be illuminated? How did this man plan to inform me and about what? His childhood, how he became this monster? Did he plan to try to convert me through physical trauma, rape?

The room began to spin slowly, my eyes darted left to right, trying to focus on one object. The world slowed as my squeezed my eyelids shut.

Cassiopeia wrote:How do you make your avatars so sparkly?

I use Photoshop and I layer the textures.

Thanks ladies!

Oh. I can't wait for the story to end. I hope, you'll make the ending okey?

We shall see... we shall see...

You are a meanie.... ... If You won't make it ok, I will make myself cry
This is blackmailing and I am fairly certain you're not suppose to like it.

giggles at Cassie, still on the edge of my seat Mama.

*snortgiggle*

awesome story!

Thank you!!! Welcome to the ABY! I love your name! Kiss Already!!!

Another great chapter! This is practically like poetry. <3

OH Mama,

It's absolutely brilliant. I went back and started right from the beginning and read every single word over and guess what??? It's not confusing at all!! Haha, I'm just an idiot.

This is an AMAZING story, and I love the little glimps and glimmers into Booth and Bones relationship, and his injuries, and what is happening in the outside world, but I'm also LOVING the way she is solving the case while living through her ordeal. I'm so in love with this story and I cannot wait for another chapter so please, please, please, post as soon as humanly possible!

It's FREAKING AWESOME!!

Bella

kiss_already wrote:awesome story!

WELCOME TO THE ABY KISS_ALREADY!! Glad you stopped by here, and I hope you stick around. The fanfic is AMAZING!!

Bella

Wow! Thank you all so much!!! I'll post as humanly possible! I swear!

I have to say--I am absolutely entranced by this story. The images--their cadence, they way they fall together into this magnificent tangle--are amazing.

Very unique...I love being able to open a fic and feel like I'm reading something entirely new.

(And as writer...have to admit I'm just flat out fluorescent green with envy!)

Looking forward to the next installment....ana

AnabelleG wrote:I have to say--I am absolutely entranced by this story. The images--their cadence, they way they fall together into this magnificent tangle--are amazing.

Very unique...I love being able to open a fic and feel like I'm reading something entirely new.

(And as writer...have to admit I'm just flat out fluorescent green with envy!)

Looking forward to the next installment....ana

Wow. That is such an amazing compliment! Thank you so very much, Anabelle!!!

Between Sleep and Awake

Part VI: Distortion

An intoxicating perfume woke me from the deep, pulled me from my fitful slumber. For several minutes, I didn't move. I breathed in the unfamiliar and familiar. Tide with Bleach and a spicy incense I could only describe as His. An inseparable thing I'd grown accustomed to. Him. Familiar, warm, a smell that brought tender memories my way.

The movement of the bed brought my eyes to take in the brilliant morning and two chocolate eyes, a sexy smile, a hand that reached up and gently whisked away a stray curl.

"Hey, Bones," he whispered.

"Hey."

I closed my eyes, breathing the tranquility that came with change. The peace that came with letting go of fear.

The darkness flooded in, stabbing me. Abducting me from the serenity of his arms to the confusion of my delirium.

My hands plunged into the victim's chest cavity, fingers pushed away the viscous, the tissues that bore no more clues, no more answers. Deeper. My fingertips rounded over swollen and soft organs, sweeping through the interconnecting ligaments. Several snapped beneath my fingers, releasing limbs, giving way to the pungent odor only comparable to putrid pork, left to rot on the counter top. Stale, fetid, eye-watering.

A hand held mine, yanking me into the cavity. I submerged into the dark, the bloody, the malodorous. Deeper. Faster. The dizzying speeds left me disoriented, nauseous.

I grasped the cold porcelain and heaved until I felt that my stomach had come out with the contents of my stomach. The chunks of vomit and mystery plane food bobbed in the bottom of the toilet. I lay my cheek back on the cool tile of my bathroom floor until my arteries no longer pulsated behind my eyes. Until the world no longer tipped and teased.

Pain had become omniscient. Knowing always where I walked. Where I breathed. Where I ate. Where I slept. It had followed me to Canada and back. It knew my number. My nightmares. It beleaguered my mind, harassed my soul, tortured my thoughts. The best thing to do in this situation, is to put it aside. Move on. Strength of mind.

I rose to my knees, raising myself with a hand on the toilet seat.

I ran the cold water, testing it with three fingers before cupping the water with two hands and splashing it against my face.

The only way was down. I leapt into the lake water which chilled my body, stealing breath from my lungs.

I gasped and watched my reflection in the mirror. I reached for the hand towel and dried my cheeks.

The whirling brought me back to the tile.

Hot and cold, twisting and spinning. My gut wrenched and I grasped at my stomach, jostling my broken ribs.

My uninjured eye flicked open and watched as a man paced a couple of feet from my head. The worn sneakers from before walked back and forth, finally settling a few inches from my nose. He reached down and grabbed me brusquely, pulling me to my feet. My body resisted the change as I fought to stay conscious.

I lurched to the chair he had brought into the middle of the room. My head sagged under its own weight, jouncing, jerking to a more upward position, then sinking once again.

"I want to believe you won't leave me, Temperance," the man with the yellow teeth said. He squatted beside me. I held off the need to close my eyes, afraid it would bring me back to my wandering mind, a place I had never trusted to begin with. "The fear is gone. Don't you see? I will purify you. You and me. Together you will see the light."

"Your ideas... of G-d... are distorted," I managed to murmur. My head tipped back, the ceiling. Fan. Light bulb. Back to the yellow teeth.

"The earth is a distorted place. I'm the bridge between the two. The world is a dark place. Full of evil people. Heaven is full of the pure. I am the bridge."

"Is that... what you call... yourself?" Ceiling. Fan. Light.

He reached up, pinching cheeks between thumb and forefinger, squeezing my face painfully. "You will see that I am right and you are wrong." His eyes burned with fury and insanity, searing through my eyes. I had no trouble staying conscious with that cold and heartless tone. His free hand twisted around and tore the mask from his head. Green eyes. A nose that hooked. Blond hair. So familiar, but unrecognizable all at once.

"How do you know me?"

"He told me."

"Your god?"

His hand whipped out, catching my open wound on a thick ring he wore. The heat spread down my neck and behind my ear. My eyes rolled. Ceiling. Fan. Light. Black.

"Bones?"

I looked up to see Booth standing in the doorway of my office. He grinned and walked over to me.

I looked around cautiously, then walked casually up to him.

His eyes looked down to my lips, then to my eyes. "Hey."

"I think sex has lowered our IQs," I said smiling.

"I don't know what you mean." Mischievous.

"It seems our conversations have been deduced to one-word Heys."

He stepped closer. I stepped back, my butt bumping against my desk. He took one more step closer, effectively pinning me. The fact that I could feel his erection against my body drove me mad with desire. And the fact that we were at work was the only thing that kept me from jumping him then and there.

"Booth! I thought we agreed to remain professional while at work."

"Just kiss me and I'll back off."

"Fine," I replied nonchalantly, perturbed. I puckered dispassionately. I should have known better. He pulled me closer, kissing me tenderly, passionately. I parted my lips, letting him penetrate my mouth, despite my best judgment. Just as I felt my underwear grow moist, a woman cleared her throat.

Booth simply chuckled, clearly glad to be caught. I turned hot-red with a mixture of aggravation and embarrassment.

I turned my head, praying it wasn't my boss. Angela. She stood with a triumphantly surprised grin on her face, a smile that could light up the Sydney Opera House.

"Oh, hey, Ange," Booth said as he released me and stepped back. Angela looked down, then looked right back up, eyes widening. "Bones was teaching me some French."

"I'll just leave you two alone," Angela replied, then quickly made a getaway.

"French?" I crossed my arms, tipping a brow in the air.

"Think I aced?"

I threw the folder at him. The papers scattered from the binding, yellow leaves fell to the ground, gently swaying and twirling in the air before landing on the polychromatic ground.

"OK, Bones, just hold back." Booth reached for his service weapon and handed it off to me before pulling out another from his ankle holster.

"I'm not going to stay back, Booth."

He sighed and looked at me for a few seconds, then nodded.

The autumn leaves, shades of copper, crimson, and gold compressed beneath our soles. The silence was only broken by the crunch beneath our toes and the halcyon breeze that tousled my hair.

We squatted beneath a broad sassafras that grew just over the ridge from the old brick building.

"Eddie's bringing his team around the back," Booth whispered.

"Eddie?"

"You don't trust him?" My face was unresponsive, but apparently it spoke multitudes. "Eddie's a good guy. He's been with the bureau a few months now," he replied as he checked his weapon. "I don't exactly wanna have drinks with the guy--"

"Because that's a symbol of camaraderie? Conjugative drunkenness?"

"You know, Bones, when you put it that way it just sounds wrong." He paused, listening to his ear bud. "Ten-four, good buddy." He smiled at me, "Always wanted to say that. Now, hang back, Bones." He looked over at me, his expression softened. His hand slipped around my waist and he tightened the strap on my vest. "When we get home tonight, wanna replay last night's events?"

"Absolutely," I replied with a provocative tone in my voice.

"Good." He leaned close and kissed me. He smiled at me, "Voigt shouldn't be hard to take down. He's sixty-seven."

"Then why are we going in there blazing our guns?"

"Guns-a-blazin', Bones. Evidence tied Stacy Kinnet to this property four days before she died. You go in there ready to go all Chuck Norris on his ass and you won't get any surprises. Know what I mean?"

I shook my head slowly.

"Didn't think so. Just stay low."

He stepped out slowly. A couple of agents rounded the property silently. I watched as they crept through the shrubbery.

Pop-Pop-Pop!

Booth fell to the ground several feet in front of me. My gun slipped to the ground as I stumbled to his side and blood pulsed from his neck with every beat of his heart. It pumped fast at first, but it slowed as I pressed my finger tips to his neck. My nightmares had followed me through time. I was reliving an ordeal that I thought would never seek me out again.

"You're not leaving me again, Booth! God, please," I whispered.

His eyes opened just enough to flash an amused expression my way before rolling into his head once again.

Prideaux rounded the residence and quickly wrapped his arm around Booth.

"Don't! Don't move him!" I tripped after him, trying to keep my fingers to Booth's neck.

"He'll die out here, Brennan!"

Icy fear coursed through my body.

"He'll die out here."

"You'll die here." This time it was my own voice. I woke up, this time laying on my right side. Naked. In a shallow pool of water.

Omg. I am so addicted to this story. Like wow I am sooooooooooooo loving this. I agree with anabelle. This is something new and something very interesting. Hoping to see new chappie soon.

holy hell.... this is disturbingly good.