Girl Trouble (K+, Humour, Romance)

Girl Trouble
This is just supposed to be a fun, ridiculous story. I know that some of the events in this story would not actually ever occur, but just go on me with this.

Chapter 1: Girls Suck

Parker Booth walked through the halls of Assumption Catholic School. He wore a blue polo with the crest of the school scrawled the right in a small insignia.

Autumn was coming and it was almost time for Halloween. And after Halloween it was all downhill with vacations.

And soon… he wouldn’t have to deal with Stephanie any more.

He stopped just beneath an advertisement for the upcoming school dance, eyed the lane meticulously, then bolted for Mrs. Jefferson’s third grade classroom.

His feet were light. Not even the weighed-down backpack kept him from practically flying to the door.

Before he could reach the room, however, a large bruiser of a girl stepped in his path. Standing at five foot five, Stephanie was a beastly child. She had been held back twice, not to mention she was tall for the age of eleven, and on top of THAT, she was overweight and had the build of a quarterback.

Parker ran straight into her midsection, bounced like a rubber superball off her, then fell straight back onto his elbows.

Stephanie stood akimbo. She looked more like the Green Giant than an eleven year old child.

“Parky Boothy,” she announced. She reached down for the boy, who scrambled backward several feet before she snatched him up and put him under her elbow like a resis. She gave him a quick noogie on the head before carrying him to her locker. Closing the door in his face, she wiped her hands against one another, then said, “Stay in there until I come getcha.”

Parker had a lot of time to think during those fifty-five minutes where he should have been in math learning fractions. To hit or not to hit, that is the question? His dad had emphasized the importance of not hitting a girl when she’s just picking on you.

Perhaps, he thought, he could get Stephanie to turn her attention to one of his friends for just a moment? Then he could wallop her a good one.

Meanwhile, Agent Seeley Booth was having quite the girl troubles of his own, yet they paralleled his to a T. Dr. Brennan had been putting him under her armpit for years. She had pulled him around like a pet monkey and had used him just as much. Now, if only Booth could learn to do like the monkeys and fling a little poo once in a while, then he would be set.

Booth brushed his teeth, then pulled a black form-fitting tee over his head. Let’s just say that it hugged all of the important places on that man’s torso. Good heavens, was Brennan blind? Booth checked himself out in the mirror, nodded, winked, whipped out finger-guns, blew out the smoke, then walked to the door.



He snatched the keys from the stand by the door and headed out. He was almost immediately confronted by an angry Brennan.

“Woah, Bones! What’s with the sour face? Have lemons for breakfast?”

Brennan was quick to snatch him up, figuratively speaking, and shove him under a smelly armpit, not that her armpits were smelly. In fact, they smelled like sweetpeas and jasmine—a fact that was both infurating and intoxicating for the aforesaid Agent Booth.

Snatch!

Stuff!

“Excuse me? You are being incredibly irresponsible, Booth!”

“Me? I’m being irresponsible? What about you?” Booth honestly had no idea what this was all about. He was just playing along more because Brennan had obviously rolled out of the wrong side OF THE WORLD that morning. And yet, she looked d-mned sexy in those form fitting slacks and that low cutting top that plunged ever so—

Booth forced his eyes up to his partner’s mouth. It was flapping away. She said something about not picking her up for an appointment. They missed it. Was it a Sweets thing? Cuz that guy could seriously have some time off. After all, isn’t it homecoming week? He’d totally need to take some time off for that. Take a little arethamyocin for those pimples, clear those up before he had to take out Braces Betty… pick out a tux, decide which kind of condoms he should lose his virginity in. The cherry or the XTRA lube?

“Are you even listening to me, Booth?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re insufferable! If you could, you know, keep your eyes north of the Grand Canyon for one minute, you would probably have heard something I just said.”

“I heard.”

“Oh really?” She crossed her arms. “What exactly did I say?”

“You’re pissed about something.” Booth grabbed his keys and pushed past her.

“I’m irate because you abandoned me. We were supposed to talk to Sweets today.”

“Don’t worry, Bones. We’re covered.”

“We’re covered?” Brennan’s voice went from angry to curious.

Booth whirled around and walked backwards a few steps while he spoke, “Homecoming.”



“Excuse me?”

“It’s Homecoming this week, Bones.”

“I don’t know what relevance that holds…”

“Sweets will be busy deciding whether or not to buy the hypoallergenic corsage for his dorky date.”

Brennan stopped. Booth turned around.

“So you’re saying that it’s OK that we missed our appointment because Sweets is going to a high school dance?”

“Bingo.”

“A dance that’s fictional.”

“Not at all fictional, Bones.”

Brennan shook her head in disbelief. “You’re ridiculous, Booth. I stood on my front stoop for forty minutes and—“

Booth took several steps forward. “Just zip it.”

“Excuse me?”

“I said zip it, Bones. You heard me.”

“I’m trained in three kinda of martial arts, Booth.”

“And I’m trained as a sniper. Wanna whip ‘em out and see who wins?”

“That’s not fair, I wouldn’t be armed.”

“Bingo again, Bones. You’re getting’ good at this!”

Brennan jogged after Booth. “Tell me about this Coming Home thing.”

Booth stopped. “It’s Homecoming. Didn’t you ever go to high school?”

Brennan nodded, “Of course. But I do admit that the majority of my time was spent with my studies.”

The corner of Booth’s mouth was pulled up into a half-grin, a grin that caused Brennan to feel slightly suspicious, and a little anxious. “What?”

“I’m chaperoning Parker’s school dance on Saturday. Wanna come?”

“Pardon?” Brennan’s eyes grew wide.



Booth knelt on one knee. An old man walked past. Stopped. Grinned. Winked. Waggled his eyebrows. Then continued on his slow march. Booth took Brennan’s hand in his.

“No!” Brennan blurted.

Booth laughed and snatched the hand back, “Just let me speak, Bones.” He cleared his throat, “A-hem. Temperance Brennan, will you go to the Assumption Catholic School dance with me?”

The old man froze, “You two will make beautiful babies,” he said. Obviously those hearing aids of his needed new batteries. He didn’t hear a single word of what Booth just said.

“Stand up,” Brennan prodded, her eyes on the old man the entire time.

“Not ‘til I get my answer.”

“Then your answer is no.”

“Not good enough.”

Brennan bent just a little and whispered sharply, “Just stand up!”

“Not ‘til you say yes!”

The old man was beginning to look misty-eyed. “Beautiful, beautiful, babies!”

Brennan tugged at his hand, an action that obviously was useless. “Stand up, Booth!”

“Just say it, Bones. ‘Yes, I will go with you, Booth.’”

“Fine! I’ll go with you!” Booth stood up, grinning like a fool.

Hahahaa... Hilarious...
Spin off from the episode?

one shot or more to come?

More to come!

I added the chapter and chapter title.

Chapter 2: Cooties

Parker pounded his fists on the door of the locker. “Hello? Can anybody hear me?”

After several minutes it was apparent that there was in fact nobody to hear his cries. Except for the principal who stood angrily outside of the locker. With a quick twist of the wrist, Parker was released from captivity. And just like a freed rhesus, he began climbing the walls and marking his territory… just kidding. He mostly stood shamefaced and embarrassed.

“Parker Booth. Twice in one week?” Mrs. Felding asked.

Parker nodded.

“Is Stephanie Clyde responsible?” The woman asked.

Parker nodded. He was beginning to feel like the Bobblehead Bobbie that his dad thought was so darn cool. His dad could be such a dork. Now if only his teachers would stop hitting on him every time he came in for parent-teacher conferences, he’d be set for life. It was only a matter of time before his math teacher eyed Booth, then Parker’s grades, then said, “I think we can work something out.”

Yet another one of those unspoken perks of being Parker Booth's teacher: one-on-one time with his saliva-inducing father.


Meanwhile, Seeley Booth and his partner found themselves arguing all the way to the Hoover building. They argued four and a half floors up the elevator shaft.

Until the elevator stalled.

Just half a floor below Sweets’ office.

“D-mn!” Booth cursed as he pounded his fists on the doors of the elevator.

“There’s no point in cussing, Booth. We should just remain calm.”

Booth whirled to his right and faced his partner. He wanted to be angry, but one look at that hottie brain child sucked any lucid thought from his brain.

“You’re looking at the Marianas Trench again, Booth.”

“And what a nice trench it is,” Booth added with a sly smile. Sure, he was a respectable guy. He’d always respected Brennan, her body, her mind. Truth was, he was sick of respecting her. Maybe if he started listening to the mini-Booth on his right shoulder… the one in the red suit with the pointed tail…. He might actually get somewhere with the woman.

It didn’t work.

Brennan started bringing up Woman’s Lib crap, not that it’s crap, but if you repeat it enough times, it slowly morphs into a crap-like substance. In 1921, yada, yada, yada. In the 1960s blah, blah, blah.

“Bones, I’m gonna stop you right there.” Booth held out a hand, halting her rambling.

“And what’s that?” Brennan asked.

“You’re a… shall I say? Difficult woman.”

Brennan’s look could have frozen the Potomac in the middle of July. During an Indian Summer. With no AC.

“You yip-yip-yip-yip all day long. Listen, I’m sick of it. You and I need to find common ground, Bones.”

She crossed her arms vehemently. “How about a five-by-five elevator, Booth?”

Jeez, it was getting warm and sweaty under Bones' proverbial armpit.

Unbeknownst to them, one half floor above, Dr. Lance Sweets, along with about six FBI agents and Cullen himself were overhearing the whole argument. Sure, the words were befuddled, but it was not mistakable that the two were arguing like a couple of married people who hadn’t done it in quite some time.

Which, they basically were.

I’m pretty sure that the thoughts from the group would have been just about the same thing: Just do it already!

Cullen nodded at Sweets, “You know what to do, Dr. Sweets.”

Sweets was surprised that he could have permission to do such a ridiculous thing. “Yes, sir!”

It’s no secret that psychiatrists are just about as loony as the patients they treat. While the mechanic fixed the elevator, crazy shrink thoughts thundered in Sweets’ mind. Yes… yes… this will work…

Picture Sweets with wild white hair and a white lab jacket. That’s the mini-Sweets that stands on his right shoulder!

Chapter 3: Frogs and Snails...

Parker and Stephanie sat next to one another on a little sofa in the School Counselor’s office. The man in front of them could have been a body-swap for Little Richard. His hair looked like he had an addiction to volumizing gel and hairspray. Sure, there are people out there who have addictions to aerosols, but at least they don’t let it affect their social lives. Well, they do. But not like this guy. No woman in her right mind would give the Larry Sumpter the time of day. Poor guy. A sad thing really.

Maybe he saw the looming good looks in Parker Booth, the social successes in his future, the relationships with beautiful girls on the horizon. Either way, he was determined to make this Parker’s night of h-e-double hockey sticks.

Parker shifted in his seat in the silence.

“Uncomfortable, buddy?” He asked.

Parker did the Bobblehead thing.

Stephanie rolled her enormous brown eyes.

“I think it’s about time you two become friends, huh?”

Parker scrunched his eyebrows. Friends? With Stephanie Clyde? Obviously those aerosols weren’t just for freeze-drying Mr. Sumpter’s hair into that gigantic bouffont that perched on his skull like a dying cat.

“You, Parker are going to take Miss Clyde here to the school dance.”

“But--” Parker began.

“And you, Miss Clyde, will be waiting here for Parker on Saturday. Capiche?”

“Cah-what?” Parker asked.

“Deal.”

“Deal?”

“Deal.”

“Mr. Sumpter, I can’t take Stephanie to the dance.” Parker said.

“And I don’t want that scrawny little twit to take me, either.”

“You see--”

He was stopped before he could say anything else in his defense. “You’re taking Miss Clyde because you two are sworn enemies. We can’t have this kind of division in the halls of Assumption. You two will be friends. End of story. You can go now.” Sumpter waved them out.

Parker was quite disappointed. The fact was, Parker didn’t want to take Stephanie Clyde because he was hoping to take another young lady, or at least, he was hoping to accidentally bump into her at the school dance. There’s no way he’d be caught dead asking anyone out. It would be way too embarrassing, what with girls having cooties and all. Not to mention that Tia Porter was one of the geekiest—and cutest—girls at Assumption CS.

Parker had it all planned out. He would bump into her on the dance floor during the slow dance and then say something lame like, “Nice dress,” or “I like this song.” They would start talking. She would toss an auburn strand over her shoulder flirtatiously—Even though she was 8 (and a half) she already knew how to drive boys mad with her green eyes and sweet gestures. Anyhow, so then they would start chatting, moving with the music, then BAM they would start dancing. Accidentally of course. She would say something about Quantum Mechanics or Trigonometry. He would nod sweetly and think about football…

But nope. None of those fantasies would ever come to light. He would never get to hold her hand or talk to her about Mrs. Jefferson’s huge mole, or Eric Abernathy’s big mouth, or any of that. He would have to go with Stephanie.

Not unless the little Parker in the red suit with the pointy tail had anything to say about it…


At the same moment Parker and Stephanie were gettin’ their mumbo-jumbo on with the school counselor, Booth and Brennan were freed from their captivity and set to light in Sweets’ office.

Sweets grinned, “It has come to light that you two are particularly fond of argument.”

Booth and Brennan exchanged glances. Booth spoke up first. “We’re not fond--”

“We don’t argue, Dr. Sweets.”

“That’s right. We bicker. End of story. Let’s move on so I can catch the Flyers on ESPN.”

Sweets sat forward a bit, “I’m sorry to break it to you, but this won’t be solved in a thirty minute session. I’ve come to realize that our sessions have been, for lack of a better word, useless.”

Booth perked up. “That’s right. I couldn’t agree more. Sorry to break it to you, but your little shrink bit hasn’t been doing Bones and me a bit of good,” he grinned. “Maybe next people you can fix, huh?”

“Which brings me to my next mode of therapy.”

Booth looked worried. He contemplated which was the safest way of escape: 1. Jumping head first through the nearest plate glass window. 2. Running through the halls yelling “Fire!” 3. Shooting everyone up.

Three was out of the question, as he couldn’t bring his weapon into therapy. The plate glass window thing didn’t sound half bad. Now, the fire thing could work…

“Agent Booth, are you listening to me?” Sweets asked.

Brennan rolled her eyes. “Maybe he’s checking out your tie.”

“Excuse me?” Sweets asked.

“Nothing.”

“Anyhow, what I’d like to suggest are GPS tracking ankle bracelets.”

Booth looked annoyed.

Brennan was quick to avoid the whole issue. “I’m sorry, Dr. Sweets, but we were only arguing because Agent Booth here is being a complete and total ass.” She said this matter-of-factly, as if reciting a passage from a text book.

Booth tightened his lips. “And why is that? Why am I the idiot in this scenario?”

“Because you finagled me into going with you to a school dance! Against my will. Against my volition. He tricked me, Dr. Sweets!” The inflection in her voice rose with every word.

“It’s not like I put a gun to your head, Bones!”

Sweets stopped them. “Hold it. Did you blackmail Dr. Brennan, Agent Booth?”

“No. No. Nothing like that,” he insisted.

“That’s exactly what it was like. There was this old man when he asked me. He went down on one knee, Sweets! One knee! The gaffer thought he was proposing! He said we’d make beautiful babies!”

Sweets scrunched his chin thoughtfully, “You would make good looking children.”

Brennan’s mouth dropped.

Sweets recognized his mistake. “Uh-Scientifically speaking of course. Because you both have agreeable facial features-“

“Enough, Sweets!” Booth stopped him. “What about these ankle bracelets? I’m not a convict.”

“Not my suggestion. It was Director Cullen’s.”

“Cullen’s?” Booth asked, mouth agape.

“That’s correct, Agent Booth. He feels that this habit that you and Dr. Brennan have—where you two argue continuously—is harmful to your working relationship.”

“That’s ridiculous. We always argue!” Brennan said.

“Not always,” Booth corrected.

“Well, I don’t know…”

“Which is why you two can put these on your right ankles. You can be no farther than fifty yards from one another at any given time.” Sweets handed over the ankle bracelets, each equipped with fat receivers.

Brennan obediently put hers on.

Booth did not. He held it angrily in one hand.

“Agent Booth, I could let Director Cullen know that you are being contumacious to the whole process. He can always reassign your partnership or Dr. Brennan’s.”

Booth’s lips tightened against his teeth, then he attached the ankle bracelet.

“There. That wasn’t too hard, was it?”

Booth began fantasizing about punching Sweets.

Then he began fantasizing about the possibilities… taking Brennan home. Accidentally running into her in the bedroom. Saying something lame like, “I like your pajamas,” or “This is my favorite room.” She would toss an auburn strand over her shoulder. Even though she was an egghead squint, she still knew how to drive him crazy with her blue eyes and sweet gestures. He would move forward, their lips would brush against one another. Accidentally, of course. Then Brennan would say something about interstitial lamellar remodeling or the mating rituals of primates in the wild. He would nod sweetly and think about her naked.

But nope. None of those fantasies would ever come to light. Not with Brennan’s icy exterior still needing some defrosting.

wow Parker is exactly like Booth....only younger.....same ideas......same woman type.....

loving this......................whoooooooooo hoooooooooooo

Chapter 4: Girls are Weird

That evening, Booth picked up Parker from school. He wandered through the halls of the school until he came to Mrs. Jefferson’s class.

He paused at the door and watched Parker for several minutes. His son was the most beautiful thing he’d ever laid eyes on. He was so cute, so funny, such a heartthrob for being eight, so… so exactly like him thirty or so years ago. It was almost on the verge of ridiculous how in sync they were.

He watched as Parker and a girl talked in the back of the classroom. The girl he was sitting next to could be described as cute. Very cute, actually. Her eyes were the shade of green apples, her dark hair curled around her ears softly, she pushed glasses up her delicate nose, then tossed a few strands of hair over her thin shoulder. Parker looked up and grinned at her—no, it wasn’t a grin. Booth knew that look. And it made his heart stop in its tracks. He’d felt that same look a million times on his own face. A thousand of those times at the diner, another thousand in his apartment, a few on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, some at the Jeffersonian, even a few overseas. He’d given that woman that same look that Parker was now giving the little girl he kept calling “Tia”.

Pride swelled in his heart as he watched his son. Then he began to think about the girl Parker was talking to. What was she like? What kind of girl did his son like after all? Booth thought fondly back on his first crush. He was in the third grade. The girl was also in the third. She had red hair and dark eyes. Then he thought of--

“Booth.”

He turned at the sound of his name. His partner was standing behind him. Brennan took several steps until she was standing beside him. They leaned on opposite sides of the door frame and looked through the doorway at Parker and Tia.

Brennan smiled. “She’s cute.”

Booth smiled softly. “Yeah.” Then the smile disappeared.

“What’s wrong?”

Booth shrugged.

“He’s… quickly turning into a young man. That scares you.” It was an observation more than a question.

Booth nodded.

“You couldn’t have done any better, Booth. Parker is… He’s exactly like you.”

Booth glanced in Brennan’s direction. “Is that a compliment?”

She only smiled at him in that way that he loved so much. The looks they exchanged said it all.

Meanwhile…

Parker sat next to Tia in the classroom. Tia was trying to explain to him the difference between Topographical maps and Physical maps. Parker was nodding, and every so often he would repeat the last few words Tia spoke. Pretending To Listen 101.

He didn’t need a tutor in geography. He was an A+ student in geography.

But that isn’t what he told Tia.

After a few minutes, Tia looked up, noticing the two strangers in the doorway. “Is that your mom and dad?”

Parker nodded, then shook his head, “Um, sort of. That’s my dad and that’s Bones—Dr. Brennan. That’s his partner.”

Tia smiled in that way that he loved so much. “She’s pretty. Is he gonna get married?”

Parker considered the question at first, then he realized his mistake in the usage of the word partner. “Uh, no. I mean, yeah. I wouldn’t mind it if he did. She’s real nice and real smart, but they’re not that kind of partners. They work for the FBI.”

Tia looked surprised. “Wow. Your dad’s and FBI agent?”

Parker smiled. “Yeah, but it really sucks when teachers try to kiss him and stuff.”

Tia smiled and put her hand on his knee—an action that did not go unnoticed by Booth.

Booth pushed off from the door jamb and took a step into the room. “Woah. Where are you going, Booth?” Brennan asked, grabbing his elbow.

Booth looked pasty white. “I think it’s time for a guy talk.”

“What? Here? Don’t you think you’re overreacting?”

Booth shook his head. “Nope.”

Brennan followed him into the room. Who was she to question? She wasn’t a parent. Tia and Parker looked up as they approached.

“Hey, Buddy…” Booth began. “I need to talk to you in the hallway for a sec. Maybe your friend here and Dr. Brennan can talk for a bit?”

Parker looked confused.

So did Brennan.

Booth leaned into Brennan. “Please, Bones?”

She rolled her eyes and sat beside Tia on the bench by the window.

Parker and Booth left for the hallway.

“Hey… so… is that your, um,” Booth searched for the right words to give an eight year old on sex, girls, and the birds and bees. “Girlfriend?”

Parker shrugged. “I dunno, Dad. Why?”

--

Brennan sat and watched until Parker and Booth were out of sight.

“So…” She looked at the girl beside her. Green eyes gazed up at her. “Are you and Parker boyfriend and girlfriend?”

Tia shrugged and pushed her glasses back up her narrow nasal bridge. “I don’t know. Are you and Mr. Booth boyfriend and girlfriend?”

Brennan looked shocked. “Um, no. We’re partners actually. We work for the FBI.”

Tia looked wise beyond her years at that moment. She worked her 132 IQ to its full potential. “I sincerely doubt that, Dr. Brennan.”

--

Booth shrugged, “Look, I, uh…”

Parker decided to let his old man off the hook. “Dad, are you going to talk about sex?”

Booth began coughing uncontrollably. He leaned against a locker with one hand and continued to cough until he caught his breath.

Parker watched his dad curiously.

--

Brennan had been around geniuses before. That was no big deal. She knew how they worked. She was one herself, after all. But she had never been around a child genius before. That was something new to her.

She had no idea how to react to her.

“I—I don’t know what you are referring to—Tia, is it?”

Tia nodded. “That’s correct. And I think you know what I mean.”

Brennan raised one eyebrow. “If I were to jump to conclusions—an act that I am not too familiar with—I’d assume that you meant that Booth and I are together romantically, as well as professionally.”

Tia smiled. “You are quite smart, Dr. Brennan.”

“Thank you.” Brennan studied the girl curiously.

--

“You are. Aren’t you?” Parker asked.

Booth shook his head frantically. “No, No! I wasn’t even—Do you even know what sex is?”

Parker gave a quick PG-rated overview of his ideas on the subject.

Booth’s worry melted away. “Not quite, Buddy. Not quite.”

--

“Well, are you?” Tia asked Brennan.

Brennan shook her head frantically. “No. No. We’re not even—We’ve never even thought about that. Well, we’ve thought about it. I have anyway--It's only natural, but it’s not even in the cards.”

Tia smiled. “But you do love him, don’t you?”

Brennan looked at the girl like she had just turned into a transformer robot.

“Do you even know what love is?”

Brennan’s eyes grew wide. “Um… I—I do. I—Of course I do, but…”

Tia only crossed her arms and picked up her book bag. “My theory, Dr. Brennan, is that you haven’t quite grasped the concept of love.” She swung the bag over her shoulder. "If you are half as smart as you think you are, you'd admit to yourself that even the invisible can exist."

Brennan stood and watched the strange girl scamper out. She didn’t even have the chance to challenge the girl’s life views VS her knowledge… None of that.

--

Parker watched as Tia came up to him. “So, I will see you on Saturday, Parker Booth.” She leaned forward and kissed his cheek, causing his face to light up. Booth looked amused.

Both Parker and Booth looked at Brennan who also stood red-faced within the classroom, out of earshot.

Parker leaned forward for one quick question, “Dad, are all girls weird like that?”

Booth nodded. “You have no idea.”

“Girls are hard work, aren’t they, Dad?”

He nodded like one of those Bobblehead Bobbies that he thought were so darn cool. “24-7, Buddy.”

“So, why do boys and girls kiss and get married and stuff?”

Booth shrugged, then smiled. “Because you love them, Park.”

Parker followed his dad’s gaze to Dr. Brennan. “Do you love Bones, Dad?”

Booth felt uncomfortable, “Um, no. No. Well, yeah, but not like that. It’s—It’s different.”

“But you do love her, right?”

Parker watched his dad’s affectionate gaze as Dr. Brennan walked until she stood next to them.

“Ready to go?” Brennan asked.

“Yes,” he muttered.

I like it!
keep posting!

this is such a cute story Mama

Thank you all!

Chapter 5: Boys are Gross

After dropping Parker off at Rebecca’s, Booth went straight for Brennan’s with the intent of her getting a few outfits and riding out the whole ankle bracelet thing.

What ensued was an argument.

“Why do I have to stay at your place, Booth? Why don’t you stay at mine?”

Booth crossed his arms. “Bones, just go inside and get a few outfits. Why do we always have to argue? My place is as good as yours.”

“Not quite, Booth. Mine is larger. I have better furniture--”

“More expensive doesn’t necessarily mean better.”

“Yes it does.”

“Go get your stuff, Bones.” He was stern.

She was annoyed. “Booth, I’m not going…”

Booth got out of the car with that. Sweets was a genius, but he was an idiot. A God forsaken idiot. What looked like a dream come true was really going to need a double dose of Excedrin. As he dragged her out of the car, kicking her feminist heels and such, Booth began to consider whether to wash the Excedrin down with a Rockstar or Scotch.

“Booth. Let go of me before I kick your ass!”

Scotch. Definitely the Scotch.

Booth had had enough of the sit-back-and-watch-Brennan-run-the-show Booth. He dragged her up two flights and straight to her apartment, pulling out a copy of her key and sliding it in the hole, then he dragged her to the bedroom and began shoving clothing into a bag.

Brennan was P-Oed. “Just why, exactly, do you have a copy of my key?”

Booth didn’t bother to look up. He opened the underwear drawer, held up a lacy something-er-other and shoved it in the bag. “Sexy, Bones.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

Booth looked up. And he realized something as he looked into The Eyes. He had lied to Parker. Women weren’t weird. They weren’t hard work. They were back-breaking, dirt-under-your-nails, soak-your-shirt-in-sweat, draw-plans-on-Auto CADD, difficult, laborious, break-out-the-freaking-thesaurus-for-more-synonyms ARDUOUS.

“Bones. Just shut up.”

Her eyes bugged. What the heck was up with Booth? Did he put the tampon in the wrong hole? He had been so dang short-tempered lately.

Brennan stopped his hand, which covered a pair of lacy underthings. “Answer me.”

Booth lowered the underpants. “Bones, I have a key in case you need me. That’s all.”

Brennan, noticing their hands were touching, quickly pulled her hand away. “Booth, I don’t need you right now.”

“You’re going home with me, Bones.” A line that he’d been dying to say since the end of Season One.

Brennan was sort of surprised by this assertive side of Booth. Maybe he’d always been afraid of treading on thin water, but he’d never told her about his real feelings. He had told Parker that he loved Bones, but not in that way.

He knew it was a lie. It was more than that.

--

Parker slumped on the sofa at home. Rebecca came in the apartment and hung up her keys. She found her son in the living room. “Hey, Park. Have any homework?”

Parker shook his head. “No. Tia helped me after school, so I’ve got nothing.”

Rebecca sat beside her son and patted his knee. “What’s up, Buddy?”

“Mom, Dad says that girls are hard work.”

She shrugged. “Your dad is right, but it goes both ways, Parker. Boys are hard work, too.”

“Mom, why don’t you and Dad love each other any more?”

That question really hit home for Rebecca. She had felt so guilty over the breakup for too long. “I love your dad, Parker. It’s just not that kind of love.”

Where had Parker heard that same phrase? “Mom, Dad says he loves Bones, but not that way, too. What is that supposed to mean? Not that kind of love?”

Rebecca was surprised by that. “What? Your dad says he loves Dr. Brennan?”

Parker nodded, “But he said not that kind of love.”

“Parker, honey. There’s all kinds of love. There’s the way I love you and the way dad loves you. There’s the way that your dad and I love each other. That’s more like friendship. And there’s the way that husbands and wives love each other, and boyfriends and girlfriends. That’s romantic love.”

“And what about Dr. Brennan and Dad?”

“I—I’m not sure what kind of love that is. I’m not your dad. But I’d bet you a million dollars that it’s a lot like that last one.”

The phone rang at that moment and Rebecca answered it. She covered the receiver and handed it to Parker. “It’s Tia.” She winked, rustled his hair, and left the room.

--

At Booth’s place….

Booth took an extra pillow and blanket and laid them on the couch.

“Looks cozy.” Brennan noted.

“Good. I hope you’ll like it,” a puckish glint lit his eyes.

“What? No, I don’t think so, Booth. Your guest always gets the bedroom. See? If you had stayed at my place, we’d both have beds because you could have the guest room. I don’t see why you insisted that I stay—I’m not staying on the couch, Booth.”

Booth grinned. “I guess you’ll have to wrestle me for it.”

She only glared at him.

“Fine, fine. You can have the bedroom.”

“Good.”

“It’s just so unfortunate, though…”

“What? What’s unfortunate?”

“That I haven’t changed the sheets in three weeks.”

“Eeew! Men are disgusting!” She picked up the pillow and threw it at him.

Booth threw it back at her. She caught it and sat down on the couch. Booth sat beside her. “So, what are you going to wear tomorrow?”

“Why?”

“The dance….”

“Oh. Right. I figure I’ll wear my black dress.”

Booth remembered the dress very well. The one meant for Mark, but it was the one that he got to himself for a night. “I’ll wear a black tie, then.”

“A plain one? That’s unusual.”

“No. It has Mickey Mouses all over it.”

Brennan laughed at hit him playfully.

“You think I’m joking? I’m not.”

Brennan looked seriously at him. Nope. He wasn’t kidding.

--

“Hi, Parker. So, I was wondering what you were wearing tomorrow?”

Parker started to play coy, but then he began to feel sad that he had to go with his sworn enemy instead of the cute and smart Tia Porter. “A black dress shirt and khakis.”

“Then I will wear a black dress so we match.”

“So… what are you doing right now?” Parker fiddled with a PS2 while he spoke.

“I’m cleaning up my room. My mom has been asking me all day. I figure I should pick it up before she grounds me.”

Parker smiled. “I haven’t cleaned mine for like three weeks.”

“Eeew. Boys are so gross.”

“My dad and Dr. Brennan are going to chaperone the dance tomorrow.”

“Yeah? That’s really cool.”

“I guess.”

“Are you going to wear a tie?”

“Why?”

“I don’t know.”

“It’s black with Spongebobs all over it.”

Tia began to laugh.

“What?”

“Oh. You’re not kidding, are you?”

Parker shook his head. “No. My dad got it for me for Christmas. That and matching Spongebob socks.”

every time i read this i just wanna say ahhhhhhhhhhhh

really nice.....but it's a little strange that he is thinking abou this life in seasons, don't you think?

more more!

I didn't realize I wasn't adding chapters here! Sorry!

Chapter 6: Eew! Germs!

Brennan woke up. On the couch. There was no way she was going to take Booth’s dirty bed. Although she secretly suspected that he had said that only so he could get the bedroom.

She rolled off the couch and went straight for the bathroom. She reached for the handle. It was locked, so she pounded on the door. “Booth!”

The sink turned on from inside.

“Booth!”

No response.

“BOOTH!”

Booth turned the handle and peeked out, a toothbrush hung from his lips. “What?”

“Ever hear of ladies first?”

“Nope,” he grinned cheekily, then slammed the door.

She pounded on the door again. “Just at least let me brush my teeth.”

“No.”

“Please!”

Booth peeked back out, “Well, if you’re going to use the magic word.” He opened the door widely, allowing Brennan to see Booth standing at the sink in his underwear. For a second, she stalled, then she re-gathered herself and entered the bathroom as if she didn’t see his rippling muscles or the tattoo on his chest. What did it say?

They brushed their teeth in silence, Brennan trying to read the tattoo without being too obvious, and Booth trying not to be too obvious about noticing her glances.

Booth spat and put the brush back in his mouth, scrubbing his molars as he went. Brennan spat, then continued brushing. Booth spat. She spat. Booth grabbed the fluoride rinse and began swishing, Brennan put her brush under the running water. Booth spat—on Brennan’s toothbrush.

Booth began laughing.

She looked annoyed. “That’s really gross, Booth.”

“No it’s not.”

“You just spat on my toothbrush, Booth!”

“I don’t see why you’re so grossed out, Bones.” He gargled, then spat. All the while, Brennan was looking at him with a look like somebody had wrapped a rubber band around her face.

Booth put his toothbrush away, then leaned in close her. Very close to her. So close, that Brennan could almost count the pores on his nose. She probably would have if it wasn’t for the fact that Booth was so darn good lookin’ that it took every bit of strength in her to remember to breathe.

“I don’t know what you mean, Booth.”

“Remember when you kissed me under the mistletoe?” His voice was low and sexy. It made every hair on her neck stand at attention. “We exchanged a lot more saliva there than what’s on that toothbrush, Bones.” He grinned at her, then left her in the bathroom.

She may or may not have watched his tight gluteus maximus as he walked away. Scratch that. She did watch that tight a-s-s. Who wouldn’t? Maybe Brennan wasn’t blind after all.

After he closed the bedroom door behind him, she rolled her eyes. “He makes a point.” She rinsed the brush and continued brushing.

Saturday morning, Parker woke up late and waited outside of the bathroom for his mom to finish putting her make up on.

He pounded on the door. “Mom!”

“Just a minute, honey.”

“Mom! I gotta go.”

“Just a second!”

Parker did a little dance until Rebecca opened the door for him to come in. She was leaning over the counter applying mascara. “Just go, honey.”

“No. Eew, Mom!”

Rebecca rolled her eyes, “I’ve seen a lot more than that, Parker. I’m your mom. I can’t count how many diapers of yours I’ve changed.” She looked at him. He stood unmoving outside of the bathroom. “Would you rather pee your pants?”

Parker grimaced and walked into the rest room. “Just don’t look.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Parker reached in to wash his hands, then he left the bathroom to go eat breakfast. Rebecca watched him leave. He was getting so tall, so big… He was becoming such a young man! Crazy how fast time goes…

Chapter 7: McGuyver Skillz

Rebecca dropped Parker off at the school. He had his khaki pants, black dress shirt, and Spongebob tie. He was decked out like Buggs Bunny at Christmastime. Oh, yes. He was. Oh, yes.

And there, before him, was Stephanie Clyde in a pink dress. The girl was definitely built like… well, to take a line from my own mother, she was built like a brick sh-t house. My parents are rednecks. Give me a break.

Stephanie also seemed to resemble a chunk of Tooti-Fruiti bubble gum in her pink dress. Her scowl was ever-present. Poor Parker, he wanted to disappear into oblivion. Parker approached Stephanie slowly and held out his hand, like the gentleman he was brought up to be.

“Hi, Stephanie. You look very nice,” he gulped.

Stephanie rolled her eyes. “Let’s get this straight, Pea Brain, as soon as the principal’s outta sight, I’m outta here. Got that?”

Ah, a light. Parker saw a light. He nodded happily, “Yeah!”

Mrs. Felding walked over to Parker and Stephanie. “There, now. I hope you two are becoming friends now?”

Parker nodded again, “Yes, Mrs. Felding. Stephanie and me are good friends.”

Stephanie wrapped a thick arm around the boy’s neck. “We’re peachy keen, Mrs. F.”

Mrs. Felding smiled, “I’m glad to hear it. I hope this teaches you two a lesson. It’s better to be friends than enemies.” With that, she entered the school where students were already assembling. Students from grade four to grade eight were standing around inside. Some were dancing, others were eying each other with curiosity, still others were avoiding each other like the plague.

As soon as they entered the darkened gymnasium, Stephanie was gone like a bat out of hell. Parker stuffed his hands into his pockets and found a couple of guys from his class who were talking about Pokemon and their annoying siblings. Parker mostly participated in the Pokemon discussion, considering he had no siblings.

--

Brennan came out of the bathroom dressed in a dress Booth hadn’t seen before. It wasn’t the black dress from that platonic date they had a long time ago. It as red and probably a little inappropriate for a children’s dance, but Booth didn’t say a thing. He just held out his arm. “You look…” Brennan wrapped her arm around his. “Really… really nice, Bones.”

“Just nice?”

“That may be an understatement.”

She smiled at him as he led her to the car.

--

Parker joined the discussion, “No way. I’ve got a card that’s way stronger than yours. And it’s really rare!”

“Nuh-uh!” The boy challenged.

With that, Parker felt a tap on the shoulder. He turned around to see Tia who was wearing a red dress (not the black one she had said she would wear). “Hi, Parker. You look really nice.”

“You… you look really nice, too, Tia.”

“I didn’t see your dad or Dr. Brennan here.”

He shrugged, “Dad will be here soon. He’s probably just talking to Bones.”

“My mom always takes a really long time getting dressed.”

“That’s probably why he’s taking forever,” he agreed.

“Parker, would you like to dance?”

Parker blushed, “Um… yeah, sure.” Parker led Tia onto the dance floor just as his dad taught him, with his arm bent at the elbow and held out for her.

--

Booth opened the passenger side door for Brennan and they walked into the gym. They were immediately confronted by Mrs. Felding.

“Agent Booth,” she held out a hand for him.

Booth grasped it firmly. “Mrs. Felding.” He looked at Brennan, “This is Parker’s principal. Mrs. Felding, this is my partner, Dr. Brennan.”

Mrs. Felding held out a hand for Brennan, who took it in her own. “I didn’t know Agent Booth was dating anybody.”

Brennan and Booth exchanged panicked looks.

Brennan spoke first, “Well, I…”

“Yup,” Booth interrupted. “We’ve been together for going on five years.”

Brennan didn’t know whether to look horrified or annoyed.

Mrs. Felding smiled, then leaned in to Brennan, “You might wanna pull your shawl around you. This is a kid’s dance after all.” She walked out of sight.

Brennan was quick to slap Booth on the shoulder.

“What?”

“What was that about, Booth? You know we’re not—Because we’re not…”

“Together?” Ah, how tortuously topsy-tuvey these two are.

“Yes. Because we’re not.”

Booth held out his elbow for her. She wrapped her fingers around his arm hestitantly.

“Then why are you here?”

Brennan’s brow scrunched, “Because of these stupid bracelets!”

Booth laughed. “You’re a genius, Bones. I’m sure you could figure out a way around these stupid things if you wanted to.”

Booth led her into the gymnasium like a gentleman. The way his father taught him.

Brennan thought over his words. He was absolutely correct. She had stayed up several hours past the time they went to bed thinking of ways to destroy the stupid bracelets. She had figured it out. McGuyver would’ve given her a high five with those skillz.

Thwarting the bracelet would involve some ABC (that’s already-been-chewed) bubble gum, a paper clip, a rubber band, an old pair of socks, and three toothpicks.

And yet, she decided to do nothing. It was fun to be around Booth. He was funny, respectful, sweet—

Chapter 8: Kiss It

Parker nervously placed his hands on Tia’s hips. Tia, who was just slightly taller than Parker, put her arms around his head in that common way, they swayed like a couple of Mardi Gras party-goers. It really can’t be called dancing, to tell you the truth. Who in the world started to think that swaying like that is dancing? The two looked over each other’s shoulders, neither really enjoying the dance, both listening to the music, ignoring each other, really.

Parker stepped on Tia’s foot at one point. She yelped and reached down to touch her foot. “Sorry!” Parker didn’t know what to do. All of a sudden, he felt like a lumberjack in stilettos.

“It’s OK!” Tia stumbled off the floor and sat by the open door. Parker sat beside her, not quite knowing how to help her out, completely feeling like a fool. Then he noticed her naked wrist and remembered the paper bag he had brought with him. He got up and went to where he stowed it under a random chair and came back. He took it out with trembling hands and thrust it under her nose. “It’s a cursidge,” he explained.

“You mean a corsage?” Tia asked, then she reached out and took the flowers from him and wrapped the little roses around her wrist. “It’s pretty, Parker. Thank you.” She stood up and kissed him on the cheek.

“Uh… thanks,” he said lamely.

“Let’s get something to drink,” she suggested. And arm-in-arm, the two went for the punch at the far side of the gym.

--

Booth led Brennan onto the dance floor.

“I told you I don’t dance,” Brennan whispered sharply.

“You’ll surprise yourself.”

“Doubtful.”

“Just lighten up, Bones.”

“It was a warm summer,” Brennan said snidely.

Booth caught the joke, knowing she wasn’t being naïve. “Funny, Bones. Funny bones?” He chuckled.

“Lame.”

Booth lifted one of her hands and placed the other on her slender hip. He tried to quell the skip in his heartbeat.

Too late, Brennan swatted at his hand, which he raised several millimeters in response, "Don't get too friendly," she warned.

Brennan led for a second before Booth took control. “Let me lead, Bones. The man leads, the woman follows.”

“Is that your view on life, Booth?” She asked with one brow tipped high.

“No, Bones. Stop being so sensitive,” he spun her around.

She stumbled over her feet, feeling like a four hundred pound man on stilts. “I suck at this, Booth.”

“No, you’re doing fine.”

At that moment, Brennan stomped on Booth’s foot. He yelped and reached down to coddle his big toe.

Children watched on. Many laughed. Parker tried to hide.

Booth wrapped his arm around Brennan’s neck as he limped off from the dance floor. “You’re just being a big baby, Booth.”

“You stomped on my foot with a stiletto!”

“So?” She was genuinely confused as to why that would make a difference.

“A stiletto, Bones. I feel like you just drove a tent spike through my foot!”

She rolled her eyes and walked him over to a nearby chair. Booth groaned and took off his shoe. He wasn’t exaggerating. It looked like his foot was going through puberty. A huge red bump decorated the middle of his foot.

Brennan flinched and reached down.

“No, no. Don’t touch it, Bones!”

“Well, how am I supposed to help you?”

“You can help by getting me some ice. Or at least by NOT touching it.”

She rolled her eyes and got up, returning after a few minutes with a baggie of pink-tinged ice from the punch bowl.

“Ow, ow, ow!” Booth whined as the ice pressed against the goose egg.

After a second, Tia and Parker appeared.

“You OK, Dad?”

Booth nodded, “Yeah, except for the fact that my partner just tried to kill me.”

“I stepped on your foot!”

“With a needle,” he grumbled.

Tia sat beside Brennan while Parker and Booth chatted.

“Dr. Brennan, are men always big babies?”

“I’m beginning to think so.”

“My dad’s a bit of a baby, too. When he gets hurt, my mom actually kisses…”

Booth whirled around, a cheeky grin on his face, “That’s not a bad idea, Bones!”

“I’m not going to kiss your foot, Booth1”

“Aw, C’mon, Bones!” He raised his foot beneath her nose. She scrunched her nose, despite the fact that it really didn’t stink. Parker and Tia giggled, other children giggled at the whole scene.

“I’m not…”

“Kiss it, Bones!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“C’mon, Dr. Brennan,” Parker urged.

“Kiss it!” The children chanted.

“You know you wanna kiss me, Bones,” Booth said, fully knowing the duality of what he was saying.

The toes wiggled.

Brennan looked annoyed, but at the same time she was trying to keep her face straight.

“Kiss it!”

Brennan leaned forward and kissed it quickly. The children giggled and finally disappeared, bored at the fact that no toe-licking was involved.

Booth leaned forward. “Yup. It’s feeling better already.”

“Really?” Brennan asked, leaning forward.

Booth wiggled the toes and grinned at her. “Yeah, check it out.”

The swelling was considerably less.

“That’s impossible.”

“Possible.”

He slipped his foot into the shoe as the music died and children began to walk out of the gym. Booth looked up just in time to see Rebecca entering the gym. She eyed Booth and then walked over to them.

“How was it?”

Booth grinned. “I think it went OK.”

“Good.” She nodded at Dr. Brennan, smiling congenially, then left to go find Parker.

Parker was found with Stephanie bullying him. She had his head pinned under her armpit and she was demanding that he yell, “Uncle!”

Parker reached around and stomped on the girl’s foot. She yelped and jumped back just as Rebecca stepped into the scene. She glared her down and walked out with Parker in tow.

Booth and Brennan got into the car and drove towards Brennan’s place.

“You’re staying at my place,” she insisted.

Booth liked those words coming out of her mouth. He grinned and didn’t fight it.

its so cute

As good as the earlier chapters... maybe better

I like it very much
can't wait to read about the next night

are we getting more? *voice hopeful

Hehe thank you. I'm having writer's block here. But I do intend to finish it ASAP.