IHBFC CHRISTIMAS CAPER....

[Only admins are allowed to see this link] Posted 23/12/2007 12:43:35 (23/12/2007 07:43:35 PM)

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A/N:
I would like to take this opportunity to thank my teammates Turi and
AnaG. With all that’s been going on, I wasn’t able to contribute as
much to this caper and you guys really carried this adventure. It’s so
fun to do these things – especially because I’m guaranteed to get an
e-mail at least every other day that always makes me smile. And that
goes for all the IHBFC members – I think it’s great that we keep in
contact so much. I’m not sure what you’d call it – the magic of the
internet, the magic of Booth’s jeans but today I’m calling it the magic
of Christmas. Wishing everyone a wonderful holiday season and the best
in 2008!

~ Hifi

Everybody was kung-fu fighting
Those cats were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightning
But they did it with expert timing

*AnaG-jutsu pauses in the midst of her own unique rendition of disco-era song*

As I told the Grasshopper and Ms. Hiyagi earlier today, those lyrics
have been running through my head a lot lately...must be because of my
newly minted ninja-tized name!

First, I would like to thank the fantastic ladies of Karate Kid
Productions for including me in the creation of this little holiday
caper. Turi...Hifi...you have two have beautifully mischievious minds
when it comes to dreaming up these adventures with the Boothy Boo...I
can't tell you how many times I have laughed out loud during the time
we have worked on this one!

And to all of the members of the IHBFC...it is hard to believe that
this time last year, I knew not a single one of you. And now, I thank
my lucky stars for the obsession, er...google search...that first
brought me to the Bones site and then the ABY, the world of
fanfic...and to this fabulous group of kindred souls. I wish you
all....ladies, gentleman, chicas, sweetpeas...the happiest of holidays
and the best of new years...and oh, yes...the most epic of the hot
boothy boo dreams!

-AnaG

[Only admins are allowed to see this image]

***********************************************************

Location: <>
Date: 24 Dec 2007
Time: 1900

A figure sits in a darkened room, face hidden in the shadows. The only
illumination comes the multi-colored lights flashing on the banks
machines that cover the desk and line the walls. Faint whirring and
electronic whispers can be heard as knobs are adjusted, buttons pushed,
widgets slid into place. Then suddenly…

The silence was broken as the person stood quickly, sending the chair
rolling back into the wall with a loud clatter. A door opened, causing
the person to blink as light flooded the room.

“Turi, are you okay? Is he…”

Turi walked to the chair and sat down with a dejected air.

“No. Not a single indication….oh, Hifi, I really, really thought he would be here…it is Christmas after all…”

She waved her hands at the battery of machines.

“…but not a single blip, bleep, bloopity bloop…”

Hifi walked over to the console, hands on her hips as she peered at one of the monitors.

“He wouldn’t forget about us. Not him. He’s too much of a gentleman.
And besides…you know he loves us.” Hifi said with a hint of concern in
her voice

“You’re right….but….there was that whole episode with the syrup….and
that time we drugged him…stole all of his clothes….I don’t know…maybe
we’ve kidnapped him one too many times.” Turi’s tone was a mixture of
happiness and guilt as she remembered all those fun adventures and the
expressions on our FBeye Candy’s face

“Don’t say that. He will be here. Maybe….maybe, the BDS 5000 just needs
to be recalibrated.” Hifi thought out loud while checking said machine

“No…no. The Booth Detection System 5000 is fine. I had that technician take a look at it…” Turi shook her head

“Turi, tell me you didn’t. You brought Eddie from the Nerd Herd to the…super duper top secret base camp?” asked Hifi wide eyed.

“Don’t worry. I gave him a polky dot after he checked the machines. A
red and blue one.” Turi said as she remembered how poor Eddie has
stumbled his way out of the camp.

Hifi gave a sigh of relief.

“Oh, then he definitely won’t remember a thing.” Hifi smirked.

“Yeah, he’ll be lucky to know his own name tomorrow.” was Turi’s response

“Speaking of polky dots…” started Hifi and as if the name of said
drinks was her cue… AnaG popped her head in the office and approached
the talking pair.

“Hey Chicas!!!” came her cheerful greeting.

“So Turi…. how did it go?” AnaG asked hopefully.

Turi only shook her head.

“Nothing yet, huh!... I am sure he will turn up … our Boothy Boo would
never let us down…. so now that you are back … maybe we can finally
convince Hifi to leave her post…why don’t we all head back to the main
cabin? The party is really…” she was cut off by Hifi whom was shaking
her head

“No, no. I should really keep an eye on…”

“Ah, c’mon, you know you wanna. Glug glug woo hoo.” Turi and AnaG said in unison.

Hifi held up a fist, AnaG and Turi couldn’t help but smile as she bumped it with their fist.

“Glug glug woo hoo!” Hifi responded.

Smiling, Turi stood and smoothed down her party dress joining Hifi and AnaG, then froze as a thought occurred to her.

“Um, Hifi…they didn’t let Ana make the polkys this time, did they?” asked turi ignoring AnaG’s gasp of indignation and pout.

“No…I think it was Ash.” Hifi responded and then added

“Oh AnaG… we don’t say this to be mean… you know we love you… but having Ash do that” she looked at Turi

“Was probably a good idea…after that night….” Turi paused as she slipped into her coat and looked at AnaG.

Hifi continued “…when you thought the monkey had stolen your…”

“…remote control!” Turi finished chuckling slightly.

“Oh…. that is going to haunt me forever isn’t it?” AnaG shook her head
as more memories of that night of polky dot induced drunkenness filled
her mind.

With an air of resignation she added “OK ….. maybe it was a good idea that I didn’t made the polky dots this time….BUT”

At this Hifi and Turi both raised an eyebrow.

“I can’t guarantee … that maybe… at some point… I won’t put my magic
touch on them…. only in the ones for those of age of course” AnaG
finished with a wink and made her way out of the office.

Arm in arm, Turi and Hifi followed suit and left the room, carefully
closing the door behind them, laughter of the trio trailing in their
wake.

***
Christmas carols rang out into the night as AnaG, Turi and Hifi walked
along the pathways of the super duper top secret base camp, singing
their hearts out. The barracks and training grounds were they had
worked so hard that summer had been turned into a winter wonderland.
Snow covered the obstacle courses, and the icicles hanging from the
eaves of the barracks shined and twinkled in the moonlight.

As they neared the main cabin, Turi paused, her mouth hanging open in amazement.

“Hifi! The tree…it is just like….How did they…?”

“Oh, it wasn’t hard. The tough part was getting Bella out of the SUV.”
She answered and laughed as she remembered Bella being pried away from
the SUV.

Turi couldn’t stop smiling as she stared at the brightly lit Christmas
tree, leaning slightly in front of the open hood of a black SUV covered
with a light dusting of snow.

“It’s just…just wonderawesome.” she added.

“C’mon…wait until you see what they’ve done with the party.” AnaG said while pulling Hifi and turi towards the door.

They crossed the remaining distance to the cabin, their breath turning
to clouds of white frost in the chilly air as they chattered away…the
words…”that kiss”…”mistletoe”…and “ohmygod”…distinctly audible more
than once.

Finally, they reached the door. Hifi knocked on the door three times,
then paused, and knocked twice more. A muffled voice came from inside.

“Who is it?”

“Turi’ray, Hifi and AnaG”

A small window slid open, revealing two suspicious eyes that darted back and forth.

“What’s the password?” asked the voice from behind the door.

“Kas! C’mon…it’s us!” Hifi protested

“You know the rules….password?” she pressed on

“Brainy Smurf.” answered AnaG

“Okay. Now…say the pledge.”

“Kaaaasss!” the three of them protested.

The window started to slide shut.

“Wait…wait, we’ll say it!”

Hifi, AnaG and Turi exchanged glances and then took a step back,
placing their hands over their hearts as they recited the pledge.

“This, our Boothy Boo we pledge to thee,
Not one charm smile,
Not one forehead kiss
Shall we ever miss
No distance too great
No distance too far
But you staying clothed,
We won’t guarantee
Cause always and forever we will be

The loco ladies of Company B
Hoo-rah!”

The small window slid shut, silence hanging in the air as Hifi, AnaG
Turi waited. There was the sound of locks clicking and bolts sliding,
and then slowly, the door opened to reveal…

*****************************************************************
Location: <<yeppers…still censored…>>
Date: 24 Dec 2007
Time: 1920

A group of women, each with strangely colored drinks in one hand,
stands in the corner, enthusiastically singing the latest in a series
of specially tailored holiday songs.

“Boothy the G- man, has a lovely, charming smile,
Plus a firm, hard chest and those rock-hard abs, and those eyes that make us sigh.
Boothy, the G-man, is a sexy man we say
He’s in love with her, but we’re all sure that he’ll be ours one day….

As the carols continued on, a fire crackled in the hearth. The final
stocking was carefully placed on its peg, the entire mantle lined with
a series of the flashiest, funkiest striped socks imaginable, names
emblazoned on each in silvery glitter…jersey…magic…amo... red…

The two women tasked with stocking duty admired their handiwork.

“Can you believe it, a2b? More than thirty names…”

“It all started with you, Hart….you and your fabulous stories…and now…look at us…”

They both turned, looking at the ladies scattered in small groups
around the room. Their attention was immediately drawn to Niah (lacey),
who appeared to be in in the midst of a small crisis at the PhotoBooth

[Only admins are allowed to see this image]

“Definitely the Mistletoe. But I want the one on the steps too. And the
Brainy Smurf…and oh, the end of the Halloween episode….please, can’t I
have one of each?”

This had been the one tiny unforeseen issue with the very popular
PhotoBooth. The idea had been for each of the ladies to select their
favorite from a list of scenes featuring their favorite FB-eye candy. A
number of car scenes, Jasper and Brainy Smurf, the one on the steps and
the one at the end of Halloween. A kiss on the cheek…and of course, the
rendezvous under the mistletoe. Stand just so in front of the specially
designed green screen, a flash of Gimme’s camera and the addition of
CheeseBK’s technical wizardry… and with in seconds, each lady was
clutching a picture of herself and Booth in her favorite scene.

The only problem? How could they choose just one?

Hart and a2b were watching, curious to see which one Niah would
choose…this time…when the sound of sighs and giggles drew their
attention away.

Kiki was circling the tree in the center of the room, making small
adjustments to the shiny red garland that had been entirely fashioned
from silky red ties, while Ehbee and Sany added the last few ornaments.
Tiny black SUVs next to little Brainy Smurfs and Jaspers. Small plastic
guns interspersed among the traditional aluminum Christmas bulbs that
had been rendered somewhat untraditional by the letters FBI that had
been inscribed on each with glitter paint.

After watching them work for a few seconds, a2b leaned over and whispered to Hart.

“Um, do you the ornaments are a little….crooked?

And, truth be told, the ornaments were not only a little crooked, but
some were dangerously close to falling from their branches and most
were bunched together in a few places.

Hart pointed to the top of the tree and smiled.

“Can you blame them though?”

Her point was proven as, at that very moment, the other three paused in
their decorating duties and stared at the very life-like, very detailed
‘angel’ standing on a tiny platform at the top of the tree…a figure
wearing jeans, and that was, in fact, quite shirtless.

Their admiration of the…ornaments…was interrupted by the sound of
singing from the other side of the room. The group formed by Flyers,
Puppet, Redridder, Jerseybones, Space, Maic, Phoebsfan, Clairbear
gathered around the table groaning under the weight of pitchers of
polky dots….red and green of course…had started another round of carols.

You know Brennan and Angie, and
Hodgins and Addy,
Cullen and Goodman, and
Parker and Sully,
But do you recaalllll
The one we l….

“Wait a minute…who put Sully in a Booth carol?” Red protested

“Yeah…you might as well put Cam in there too…” Flyers added

“Weellll, I kinda like Cam now…” said Jerseybones

“But…” Puppet stammered

“And you have to admit that Sully showed how Brennan could be in…” Claire’s voice faded in the background

The caroling ground to a halt as more and more of the ladies joined
into the discussion. Perhaps sensing a reprisal of the Great Unworthy
Significant Others Debates of 2007, Rivieria stepped in to redirect
everyone’s attention to the center of the room.

“Ladies….time to see what’s in our stockings!”

Quickly, everyone gathered in the center of the room, as a2b joined
Riviera in distributing the dozens of flashy stockings to the members
of the IHBFC. Silence descended as each began to examine the
contents…each one contained the following:

1) one of a variety of flashy ties
2) a foil-wrapped chocolate replica of the Cocky belt buckle
3) either a Brainy Smurf or Jasper figurine
4) a poker chip
5) one container of chocolate syrup
6) and one pair of handcuffs

“Wait!” Nane called out as she reached far into her stocking. “I think there’s a note!”

Almost in unison, they each pulled a note from their stocking. One by
one, beginning with Fab, they each took a turn reading a line.



No squeeing or sighing, not one giggle fit,
Until I explain the purpose of this
Your very own personal, individual,
Booth Survival Kit.

Four items are here,
Four for those times,
When Booth you do miss.
A few little reminders
Of the one you hold dear.

Two you might see,
Two for those times,
When the mind can’t help
Those naughty little thoughts
of sweet Seeley B.

Ladies, I’ll leave it you
To find which is which
The ones for memory,
The ones for a chance
To have your wicked way
With your man, Boothy Boo.

-Santa C.

After a round of giggles and sighs, not to mention the hatching of one
or two plans for booth-napping by the chicas, Willi stepped forward and
announced that it was time for more presents and gifts. She had just
started to pass out small boxes wrapped in paper printed with an
oh-so-familiar and oh-so-beloved picture of a certain someone in their
Christmas boxers, when an electronic beeping interrupted the
festivities.

“What’s that?” asked Squirt

“Is that the BDS 5000 alert?” Hifi- asked AnaG

“No…I think it’s the…” said AnaG.

As one, they turned to the small white speaker that sat on the edge of
the mantle. With a smile, Hart pressed a button at it’s side.

“Hello, Cement.” they all greeted him.

“Merry Christmas, Angels….”

Giggles arose from the crowd, as CheeseBK replied mischievously.

“Oh, Pimp…you know we’re no angels…”

A wry chuckle came from the speaker.

“Ah, yes…so I can assume then that you already have Booth captured, stripped and covered in syrup…” He asked.

“Not yet…but just give us time!” Amo called out as she raised a polky glass.

“Well, then, I have an interesting…case….for you…” Cement continued

He waited as the twitters and whispers among the group rose and then fell silent.

“Ladies, your mission…should you choose to accept is to…”

*****************************************************************
Location: <<lips still sealed…>>
Date: 24 Dec 2007
Time: um, we lost track…

Intrigued, the loyal compatriots of Company B leaned forward and
listened intently as they watched a screen slide slowly down from the
ceiling. A small gasp, followed by a long sigh escaped the lips of the
crowd as the image appeared before them:



Cement continued “…. your mission… should you choose to accept it….. is
to find and abduct Mr. S. Booth and bring him back to base camp for
questioning….. and any other activities you see fit for him to
participate in. “

Cement could hear the excited buzz on the other end of the phone and
couldn’t help but chuckle. “This mission will be known as “Da Club’s
Christmas Caper” code word – tinsel. This mission will self destruct in
five seconds……....well not really but I’d better go, my wife and I have
dinner plans and being late might be self-destruction for me! Merry
Christmas Angels!”

“Merry Christmas Cement!” The ladies said in unison.


Standing up one and all, those proud members of the IHBFC nodded
affirmatively to each other, silently confirming their acceptance of
the mission. Polky dot drinks and eggnog forgotten, the IHBFC
stealthily made their way to the barracks.

The ladies opened the door to their sleeping quarters and couldn’t believe their eyes. AnaG had thought of everything!

Strands of multicolored Christmas lights draped from the ceiling,
twinkled in the moonlight. Sparkly garland adorned each monogrammed
headboard and glittery ornaments were suspended from the window sills
with silky ribbon. Small stockings hung above each bed and a set of
flannel Christmas pajamas were carefully laid out on each girl’s
footlocker.

Deciding “stealth” mode really wasn’t their style, the IHBFC hastily
donned their black cat burglar suits as they giggled and chatted
excitedly about their upcoming caper.

Using her bedazzled megaphone and best President’s voice, a2b recited
the official supply list, “Hurry hard helmet, forehead kiss face
shield, official fluff inverter, special missile-toe artillery….” each
item was met with a resounding “check” from the group.

A2b then handed her microphone to Pyro. “Alright ladies of the IHBFC –
fall in!” All together the group of black clad bandits formed a single
line as the first few notes of their favorite, albeit non-festive song
floated through the air.

I hate the world today
You’re so good to me
I know but I can’t change…

The lyrics of the IHBFC theme song followed the group as they
marched…..well, danced their way out the door towards the front gates.

Not to be outdone, The VW Van Official Transportation of the IHBFC was
also Christmatized with red bows and glittery holiday wishes emblazoned
on the sides. The would be Booth-burglars jubilantly followed each
other into the van. And with Hart behind the wheel (as one of the few
not old enough to indulge in the blue and red polky punch), the van
sped off into the starry night.


***********************************************************

Location: <<Hart doesn’t want to admit it, but we’re sooooo lost!>>
Date: 24 Dec 2007
Time: no idea, VW van not equipped with clock.

“Turi, I don’t think this one’s working either, “ Hifi said into her
walkie talkie as she tapped the screen of the portable BDS 5000.

Turi rolled her eyes Brennan style “Hifi I’m right beside you, why do keep talking into the walkie talkie?”

“Because it’s fun to say “over and out”. “ Loony responded on her walkie talkie.

Turi turned to face Loony in the seat behind her, as Hifi and Loony giggled and high-fived each other in agreement.

“Okaaaaay, “ Turi slowly turned towards the front, making a mental note to ban Ash from polky dot punch making duties as well.

“Are we there yet?” came a voice from the back. Hart looked up in her rearview mirror. “No Kas – no sign of Boothy Boo yet.”

“Well, did anyone bring any snacks then? We’ve been out here for like 20 minutes.” Poly shouted from the middle.

“Have no fear…” a2b said as she rummaged around in her purse. “I’ve got……. gum.”

Expecting something cake-ish or pastry-like, 35 pairs of eyes focused on a2b curiously.

“What?” a2b shrugged. “I’m an Auntie, we always have gum.”

Sensing things were about to get ugly, a skill honed by her years of
experienced mom duties, Pyro redirected the restless mob. “Hey
everyone, why don’t we sing more Christmas carols as we look out for
Boothy Boo? I’ll start..”

In unison, the first few lyrics rang out:

We'd better watch out,
We have to start to spy
We'll jump up and shout,
I'm telling you why,
Agent Booth is coming to camp!
Agent Booth is coming to camp!
Agent Booth is coming to camp!

We see him when we're sleeping
Wish for him when we're awake,
He's knows if we've been bad or good,
He's FBI for goodness sake!

We'd better watch out,
We have to start to.......


Their cheeky…*ahem* cheery song was suddenly interrupted, as the van came to a screeching halt.

“There!” Fab yelled. Pointing excitedly.

In front of a diner, casually leaning against a black SUV, stood a man
dressed as Santa. His tall, muscular frame filling out the velvet suit.


“This is it!” Cari whispered excitedly.

Quickly driving around to the back of the building, the IHBFC instantly
put their plan into action. Har Har, Luli, Ash and Fab slung their
standard-issue hot-pink ropes over their shoulders as they quickly
climbed the fire escape to make their way to the roof. The rest of the
crew, Poly, Space, Magic, Squirt and Clairbear spread out each way,
slowly creeping down the alley towards their target.

As the members from the roof silently rappelled down the building, the
ground team was slowly closing in. Once everyone was in position, AnaG
aimed her modified paint-ball gun in the air.

The next few moments were a blur of tinsel, garland shackles, adhesive
syrup and a red silk tie blindfold for the poor, unsuspecting festive
eye-candy, as he was hastily loaded into the glittery vehicle. The van
bumped along the snowy street for two whole blocks before coming to an
abrupt stop. The side door slid open, as the Kringle clad gentleman
stepped out, amid apologetic murmurs and was left standing confused on
the side of the road.


*****************************************************************

Location: <<Not sure, but destination – bottom of a polky dot punch glass!>>

Date: 24 Dec 2007

Time: Party time!

“I can’t believe it….” Hart muttered forlornly.

“I know, I was so sure he…” Fab trailed off sadly.

The IHBFC slowly trudged back to the cabin, after their unsuccessful
Christmas Caper. Once they had recovered from the initial shock and
realized that the unfortunate victim of their Booth-napping turned out
to be a rare good-looking mall Santa only, they were so discouraged
they decided to head back to camp. (Only after a quick debate over
whether it was ethical to keep the cute Santa anyway).

As they got closer to the cabin, Hifi stopped. “Hmmm….that’s odd.” Hifi
wondered aloud. “I was sure I shut off all the lights when we left.”

“Yeah and where is that loud beeping coming from?” Phoebsfan asked in a puzzled voice.

Suddenly, AnaG, Hifi and Turi’s heads simultaneously snapped up as
their eyes went wide. “The BDS 5000…” they whispered in unison.

****************************************************************
Location: <<as close to nirvana as a Booth addict can be without actually sitting in his lap>>

Date: 24 Dec 2007

Time: no idea… when it comes to the Boothy Boo times seems to lose all meaning


A tall, muscular and all things HOT figure was moving in the shadows
muttering not so Christmas-y words at the beeping machine in front of
him.

“Oh come on! Stop..”Yeah Booth go ahead and yell at the machine … it will hear you just fine …

He thought

He kept pushing buttons but for some strange reason the closer he got to the machine the louder it beeped.

“OK… that is definitely weird… BDS 5000” he read at loud.

“BDS 5000?.... B…” his mind started functioning properly “D….. “ he took one step closer and the device went crazy “S…..”

“No they didn’t….” his eyes opened wide as he put two and two together.

His sniper senses isolated the incessant beeping and he was able to hear voices coming from the hallway.

“Hifi what is going on?” asked Amo

“Can you slow your pace?… I shouldn’t have had that last polky dot!” Said Loony

“HE IS HERE!! HE IS HERE!” was all that AnaG kept saying, more like shouting, while sprinting towards the office.

“Damn it … they are here!” Booth moved quickly around the office, as he
heard the muffled shouts, looking for the fastest way out.

No windows and only one door. Nope it definitely wasn’t looking good…
he may just have to confront them here and that will ruin his plans.

Then he looked up and saw a vent.

Eyeing it to make sure he will be able to fit through it, he looked for
a chair and giving one last look at the offending machine

“Booth Detection System” he muttered “These ladies….” he shook his head and made his way into the a/c duct.

Hifi was the first one to reach the office and she froze as her hand reached the door knob.

AnaG was standing beside her still murmuring “He is here … He is here”

Soon they were joined by the rest of the group.

Poly made her way to the front and stared at Hifi who still hadn’t moved her hand
“Oh for Pete’s sake” she said while putting her hand on the knob and opened the door.

The loud beeping of the BDS500 had started to subside.

As they all came into the office, Turi moved closer to the BDS5000 and started punching some code.

And all of a sudden squeeing and cheering erupted in the room.

There; in the main screen the most anticipated words of the night were flashing.

‘BOOTHY BOO ON SITE’

*****************************************************************
Location: <<nope … not in the Boothy Boo’s bed… but not for lack of trying… [Only admins are allowed to see this image] >>

Date: 24 Dec 2007

Time: clock …. or Booth? guess which one we were looking at…..[Only admins are allowed to see this image]


Singing and chatting amicably the ladies made their way back to their sleeping quarters.

After all they had to change from their black cat burglar suits back to their party outfits.

Taking their time to make sure there was not one wrinkle in them, that
the last of their make up had been done,the Loco ladies of Company B
were soon done and started to make their way to the only possible place
were our most favorite piece of FBeye candy could be.


Booth was standing in the middle of the room open mouthed and completely astonished to see the lengths of the IHBFC obsession.

Some of the contents of the stockings had been left behind.

“Hmmmm they seemed to have left in a hurry” He said while picking up a foil-wrapped chocolate replica of the Cocky belt buckle

Then his eyes set on the huge tree--full of lights and ornaments (which
caused to him to laugh out loud..). after all how many trees were
adorned with Brainy Smurfs, Jaspers and small plastic guns all hanging
from almost every branch; his eyes were soon fixed at the figure
standing at the top of the tree.

He could only chuckle at the sight of a mini-him “I wonder who makes
these for them?” he thought out loud as he picked a mini SUV from the
tree. As he turned it over he noticed in the bottom three very familiar
letters.

“FBP” (short for Funny Bones Productions) and an inscrïption right below it that read:
“We at FBP: A2B, Rosie and Loony wish you all a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!”

He put the ornament back in the tree and as he stepped further into the room he stopped dead in his tracks.

There staring back at him was none other than… himself.
[Only admins are allowed to see this image]

They had taken a picture of him from that fateful night OH! so long ago
when he and the squints had been locked up at the Jeffersonian.

Said image had been full blown up (poster- real life size) so that the
Christmas pattern of his boxers and his socks was very well defined.

Inspecting it closely he thought "hmmm not my best picture
ladies...pants around my ankles....oh." He shook his head, chuckling
in amusement as he connected the dots. "Those ladies certainly have a
one-track mind, don't they?"

They were staring at him from the window. Some were sighing, others
were squeeing quietly while putting their Hurry Hard helmets on.

“Gawsh! this man can even make a Santa costume look sexy” Ehbee said as
her and the rest of the IHBFC stared at the Hunky man moving around the
party room dressed in the read suit

“Not that it matters though; since he won’t be in it for long” Willi responded with a wicked gleam in her eyes.

Back in the party room a cell phone rang “Booth… Hey Tommy!... so how
did it go?... you back safe in the FBI quarters” asked Booth while
shifting his phone to his other ear so he could pick up what looked
like a piece of paper on a table.

“I really appreciate it man…. “ He was interrupted by the other agent on the line

“Oh Really!... you poor thing.. they tied you up?... and attacked
you?... even blind folded you and tried to keep you huh...” Booth
paused loosing his temper a little.

“Yeah well… just call me back when they have done that to you at
least.. oh I don’t know …. 5 times and we’ll talk OK… NO sympathy
coming from me buddy” he was holding the phone now and had forgotten
about the paper in his hand.

“Sorry Tommy I know … I know… it’s just… you don’t know what it’s like…
they are so determined… Where they aim they hit!.” He started chuckling.

“Yeah well … maybe AnaG doesn’t have the best shot… but it was just a
paint gun; so it mustn’t have hurt much…” Booth had been a little
distracted on the conversation that he didn’t feel the movement and
chaos behind him.

“Stop shoving girls!” Riviera whispered from the door.

Finally Booth directed his attention back to the paper in his hand… what he saw there drained the color from his face.

“Tommy you have a good Christmas now” he swallowed hard.

There in that paper… or now that he looked at it better, was a photo of
him and his Bones outside the dinner, on the day he told her that there
was more than one kind of family. However there was a big difference;
since the face staring at him in that pic was most definitely not
Temperance Brennan.

“Yeah I’ll try…. hopefully I come out of here in one piece” he muttered and closed the phone.

“Oh you will must definitely come out in one piece Boothy Boo… But fully clothed… well THAT we can NOT guarantee” Red said.

In that moment Booth knew that maybe just maybe this wasn’t his wisest idea.

As he turned around the sight that met him made his jaw drop.

He started counting heads … although it was kinda difficult since the
looks that he was receiving made him turn redder and redder.

“No … it can’t… it can’t be” he started counting again.

“What can’t be Boothy Boo?” Hifi asked a bit concerned at the bewildered look in his eyes.

“The last time…. weren’t there only 30 of you” that was said as more like a statement than a question.

“Yes” answered Hifi while making her way to where he was standing.

“And now” he swallowed hard again

“Oh … I think we are way over 35 now” she put a reassuring hand on his shoulder that soon descended to his forearm.

“But let’s not worry about that now” said Hifi

“Oh Boothy Boo it is sooo good to see you” A2B advanced and hugged him.

“You have NO idea… we went looking for you” Fab added

“And we saw someone … that looked just like you” said Cari

“When we noticed that it wasn’t really our Boothy Boo … we were so disappointed” Sany said

Voices started to overlap as they all recalled the events of a couple of hours ago.

“Ladies, ladies…. ladies… LADIES” he ended up raising his voice just a bit to calm them down.

“Why don’t we … continue you know with the celebration.. you can fill
me in on the details later” He asked while clapping his hands together
and ushered them to sit or get a drink.

Slowly they started to mingle but not without giving him some appreciative looks and touching him here and there.

Squirt approached him with a hanger “Um Boothy … don’t you think..
.that it’s a little bit warm in here for you to keep the Santa jacket
on”

“No… I am fine … really .. .besides … I am only wearing a white fitter
underneath” as soon as those five words left his lips he knew they were
the wrong ones.

Heads snapped in his direction, some stood up on the chairs and couches to take a better look at him.

“Oh come on Agent Booth… you know we don’t mind the casual look” said mama Pyro.

At the wild look in their faces .. he thought it would be wiser not to argue and started taking the jacket off.

Squirt, who was standing the closest to him with the hanger, was struggling to keep conscious.

Sensing this Flyers hurried with a chair and helped her sit down.

As he was shrugging the jacket off happy sighs, dreamy sighs and the occasional ‘woof’ coming from Pyro were heard.

He had to laugh as he handed the jacket to Squirt and saw that the
famous hanger was being passed from hand to hand; being touched and
smelled as it slowly made it’s way to the closet.

And soon thuds was heard … because as Amo shut the door they started
to re-direct their gazes to the man standing there wearing only in that
white t-shirt.

It showed his well muscled arms, those broad shoulders and he was giving them his most charming smile.

Turi made her way to where AnaG laid … and couldn’t help but laugh at
the dreamy smile on her face. And noticed the newer and larger dent on
her Hurry Hard Helmet!

“Is she ok?” Booth asked a little concerned.

“Yeah she is fine….. just give her a few seconds” Bandbi answered.

She started coming to and stood up as Booth offered her a helping hand

“Sorry girls… but OH Boothy Boo… a little warning please… you can’t
expect me, or any girl in this room, to be fully alert when we have you
in the room” She said while she straightened out and made sure that her
dress was ok.

“Ok… I promise….. but as I said before let’s continue with the party…
what were you all doing before you decided to go looking for me?” He
asked.

“Well” Willi began “We were going to start passing out the presents” she said a little hesitantly.

“All righty then.. let’s pass them out then… just point me where they
are” Booth told them as he looked around and found a file of small
packages with names labeled in the front.

As he picked one up he couldn’t help but notice the peculiar wrapping paper.

“You ladies sure now how to put technology to good use AND this
picture… blowing it up to real size poster and now this… wrapping
paper” He shook his head but had to laugh as they all nodded agreeing
with him.

“And you have seen nothing yet Boothy Boo” spoke Rosie from her seat next to Loony.

“That as most of the decorations here are FBP patented… a2b we should give Boothy Boo a tour of the factory one of these days”

A2B perked up at the idea “Wonderful idea… and while he is there we
could use him as a model for the prototype of the anatomically correct
Booth ”action” figure.”

At the mention of prototype Booth raised an eyebrow and was about to
ask something but was interrupted by someone clearing her throat.

“While the idea of giving him a tour sound wonderawesome” said Loony “I
would really really love to open our presents” she pointed out to the
pile to which our Hunky FBI agent was standing next to.

Willi stood next to him and passed them the presents while he called
out the names. “Please wait until everybody has received theirs to open
them OK”


As the last present was picked up and the last loco lady had sat back
on her seat, the sound of rustling of paper as it was being ripped and
tossed aside, the sound of boxes being opened filled the room.

And then it was quiet, Willi wore an expression of incredible joy, after all she already knew what the boxes contained.

Booth however, wasn’t expecting what he saw and he accompanied the rest in the shock.

Suddenly squees, gasps and cheers erupted.

Nane was holding up a DVD case and waving it in the air.

Some were holding it close to them, others were kissing the cover.

He couldn’t believe his eyes, so he decided to pick one up and confirm that in fact those weren’t a hallucination.

His suspicions were confirmed because there in front of him was a picture of himself and in big bold letters was the title:


The Best of Boothavision: Uncensored and Uncut !

His eyes widened as they fell on the subtitle: Extended Workout and Shower Scenes Included!

It took some time, but he finally was able to recover his voice “This … this is where a line needs to be drawn” he protested

“And we will more than likely cross it for you Boothy Boo.” Space replied.

“No no no no… I am not talking about that line… this is invasion of
privacy… How did you … cameras in my apartment I can’t believe it”
Booth said as he sat down.

“It wasn’t that hard really… remember the last time we where there?”
Turi asked as a memory of a sleeping Booth crossed her mind and not
only hers but everyone that had been in on that Boothnapping.

“Yeah… I provided the sleeping scent… we are working on that at the
factory” said Loony as she recalled naming the ingredients to mama pyro.

“OH how could I forget that night…that was when I woke up in Boothtico…
wasn’t it?” Booth remembered as he touched his lips … he would never be
able to look at a chapstick the same way.

“Yeah… those were good times… but before we left we took the liberty of
installing high tech equipment in key places…. we just had to keep and
eye on you Boothy Boo … make sure that you …. you… were taking care of
yourself… yeap that is it…. take care of yourself” Turi said in a so
not convincing tone.

“This… this has to be illegal” Booth protested.

“I am going to find out from Caroline” he muttered.

“No need to do that; Luli here can answer that for ya, after all she is
the one with the law degree” Puppet mentioned as she pointed at the
girl sitting in a chair nearby.

Luli thought about it for a moment. “well… I mean … it technically is
illegal to film someone without their consent” she stopped as some
protests were heard.

“You wanted my opinion right… I am just giving you my point of view as
a lawyer….. BUT let me tell ya … this could be a top seller…” she
trailed off as she started reading the various features that the DVD
offered.

Booth cleared his throat “Ok … fine” he said reluctantly “But I want this recording equipment out of my apartment ASAP”

Shouts of “Not fair” and “Oh man!”

“No problem Boothy” Turi jumped in immediately earning herself a few glares.

Hart, who was standing close to her, nudged her on the side “TURI!”

“Ow! what was that for?” she asked while rubbing the spot where the offending elbow had hit her.

“Why did you agree?... what is going to happen to Boothavision now?” Hart asked.

Turi leaned in and whispered “He said recording equipment… we never
mentioned recording devices… what we have are transmitting little
gadgets” she finished with a wink.

Hart mouthed “OH!” and returned the wink.

Booth had been so immersed in reading the back of the case that
(fortunately for the IHBFC.. not so much for him) he missed the whole
exchange.

Shaking his head in disbelief once more he spoke “So are this all the copies?... if not I want to confiscate the rest”

Ash came over where he was sitting and offered a polky dot drink, one that was looking redder than the others.

He eyed it suspiciously but, since Ash was one of the newer members she
couldn’t possibly have Ana’s secret recipe, so he thought it was safe.

“These are it!” Willi responded.

“Without counting the ones we sent Dr. Brennan” Rosie thought out loud

He choked on his drink “You… she… what?” Booth asked while couching.

“Yeah, we sent her a pressie a couple of days ago….. she should get it once she comes back from Peru” A2B answered.

God! leave it to them to send Bones DVD’s with my… my… OH GOD! the shower!.

“I can’t believe you did that.. how am I supposed to work with her now…
after she has seen me…” he was afraid to finish that thought and also
he feeling a little funny!.

The last he remembered was looking over at Ash who was high fiving AnaG, and with one last look at his drink.

Everything went black!.

But since he hadn’t drank that much of it, by the time he came to the
only thing that they had had time to do was move him and sit him down
in a different more comfortable chair.

As his eyes came to focus he was able to see that most of them were carrying two items in their hands:

a container of chocolate syrup
and a pair of handcuffs

Now the handcuffs were a sight on themselves; some had fur on them, others had feathers: pink, red.

But those were no competition for the mistletoe hat that Loony and Bandbi were holding as they were advancing towards him

“Stop right there you two” he said

And a few groans came as the mistletoe bandits had to stop midway.

“But… but… Boothy Boo… you should still… be under the effects of the
polky dot specialty shot?” said AnaG really confused and started going
over her secret formula in her mind.

“I swear I gave him the right glass” Ash said as some accusatory eyes looked at her.

“I betcha it was… but thankfully I only took a sip of it… was too
preoccupied about Bones seeing me in my… my… that I didn’t get to drink
much” relief evident in his voice.

“Besides … Ladies.. while it’s been a pleasure .. sort of… to spend
some time with you this Christmas Eve… I must really get going” he was
interrupted by pleas

“Oh Boothy… just one more hour!! PLEASE” they asked him while making puppy eyes.

“Any other day those looks might work on me …. but I have Parker tomorrow morning” he said while getting up.

“Before you leave Agent Booth… there is one more important thing that
we will like to do, as we must get going too, hubbies and families must
be wondering what is taking us so long” said Turi.

“As long as it doesn’t involve the syrup and handcuffs I am game … what is it?” the Hunky FBI agent asked.

a2b, Willi, Loony, Rosie, Hifi, AnaG, Trish and Bandbi brought a huge envelope (lottery style) that read the words:

I_Hart_Booth, Hart, Tink, Cuzzin Tink
(which ever one you prefer)

On glittery font (as if we would use something else).

“Please Cuzzin Tink if you could stand right beside Agent Booth” called Pyro

“Well Boothy Boo… we will like you to please give this super special
present to our dear Hart aka Cuzzin Tink; with forehead kiss and all”
said Turi as she helped the others pass the envelope to him.

Hart, poor thing had NO clue as to what was going on, and had a more than confused look on her face.

“Before we present you with a special pressie, Cuzzin Tink; we would
like to say a few words” in that moment Turi pulled a paper from her
clutch.

“As we have said it many times before; a2b, Willi, Loony and others;
you and your stories are what brought us all together, besides of
course the obsession that we share with you on all things Bones, and
especially the man standing right beside you” she looked at Booth who
was laughing a little.

He put his arms around Hart’s shoulders and gave her a little squeeze.

“We wanted to thank you in a way for sharing your amazing talent with
us; as well as giving us the gift of your friendship; because you truly
are an amazing girl and one of the strongest person we have had the
honor to meet” Turi was getting a little teary eyed and had to blink
twice.

“So to show you how much we appreciate it we will like to give you
this” she motioned so that Booth could open the envelope for them.

“A lifetime supply of Boothy Boo forehead kisses. Whenever you need
them Mr. FBI hot stuff will go to where you are and give them to you,
after all you were the one that started the kisses on the forehead
trend” Turi finished and everybody started clapping and cheering Hart.

“I have one more thing to say” Booth exclaimed as he raised a hand to quite down the crowd.

“That only because it’s you, and well, while I haven’t liked much that
you have had me…and Bones…blown up and shot at you are one of a kind
and I will be more than honored to provide as many forehead kisses as
you want, whenever you want” he finished and gave her one of his famous
kisses.

“You don’t have to say anything Hart.” a2b said as she hugged her.

“Yeah Tink, just accept it and make wise use of it” said Loony.

“You could share once in a while” added Willi.

“Ok then” Booth said as he looked at his watch.

“We really should get going” he clapped his hands together and made his way to the closet to pick up his jacket.

And he wasn’t that surprised when he didn’t see it there.

“Good think I brought back up” he said while he made his way around the couch where he had left his leather jacket.

Oh’s and Ah’s were heard as he put the fitted jacket on.

“Ladies shall we?” he said while stepping towards the door.

But turned around as he didn’t feel any movement from behind.

“Are you staring at my butt again?” he asked in a teasing tone.

“Besides that… we are not leaving just yet Boothy Boo” answered AnaG
trying to shake up the images that were popping up in her mind.

“Not yet?... why?... what else are you going to do tonight?” he was getting a little confused.

“The same thing we do every night Boothy” was Turi’s answer.

He raised an eyebrow “Try to take over the world?”

“NO… well that too… one Bones fan at a time though” Willi added

“Try and think of better and more fun ways to kidnap you” AnaG said in a wicked tone.

He laughed that sexy laugh “OH ladies you will never change will ya?”

“You know that … it says it in our hymn” Amo answered him

“Yeah it does… so after your ‘meeting’ how are you gonna get home?... it’s dark outside” he added in a worried tone.

“We are going to do it ala Boothy Angels’ style” was Ash’s response

“More like little devils… but what way is that?” Booth asked and was
met by 35 or so girls standing in a Charlie’s Angels pose as the room
started to fill with smoke.

Soon some coughing was heard.

“Are you girls OK?... if you are still here” he was squinting trying to see thru the thick wall of smoke.

“KIKI!... turn it off” Flyers yelled.

“Right away!!” Kiki answered as she turned the switch off. “SORRY I got a little carried away!” she called.

“That’s fine… I guess we will have to settle for the normal and boring way” Poly said while making her way to the door.

Booth opened the door for them, as a gentleman there really would be no other way.

And wished them all a Merry Happy Holiday!.

*****************************************************************
Location: << pure bliss>>

Date: 25 Dec 2007

Time: 2358

After prying grabby hands from his body, Booth had made his exit from
the main cabin. However, unbeknownst to the ladies inside, he had
stealthily circled back and was hiding in the shadows near one of the
windows. He really did have to hurry back for Christmas Day with
Parker…but first, he had to ensure that the final pieces of his plan
were successful.

It didn’t take long…he soon heard high decibel squeals that told him
that they had discovered the bag of presents that he had left behind.
He smiled as he imagined them shredding the wrapping paper and tearing
open the small boxes…to find the sterling silver ID bracelets that he
had custom-made for this bunch…each one was engraved with the letters
“IHBFC”…and also included a hidden tracking device.

He listened long enough to hear them exclaiming over their gifts as
they all helped each other fasten the bracelets around their wrists. As
he walked away, he couldn’t help the small smirk that crossed his face
and he pulled out the small tracking device that showed 35 small red
dots clustered together.

“At least with this…I’ll know when they are getting close. No way will they be able to get the jump on me next time….”

***

“Is he gone yet?” Jersey asked Space who was peering from the edge of one of the windows.

“Yeppers.” Jersey replied.

The two moved back to join the rest of the group…all of whom were
examining the hidden microchips they’d easily located on the bracelets.

“Poor Booth…he really thought he could fool us, didn’t he?” Willi couldn’t hide her amusement at his attempt to rein them in.

Kas nodded in agreement.

“I know…he MUST have forgotten who he was dealing with!”

Loony held up her bracelet, examining it as a mischievous glint grew in her eyes.

“You know, chicas….this might actually come in handy for our next
caper…really, just imagine how off guard he would be if thought we
where nowhere nearby…”

Quickly seizing on the idea, the ladies gathered in a circle,
excitement in their voices as they began brainstorming. After all, it
was never too early to begin planning their next caper.

And that is how they spent those final minutes as Christmas Eve
drifted into Christmas Day…plotting and planning, sighing and
dreaming…for they were after all…loyal compatriots of Company B and
proud, proud members of the IHBFC!

****************************************************************************************
I wanted to say THANKS to AnaG-jutsu and Ms. Hiyagi for writing the
best parts of our little caper it was an honor for this Grasshopper to
collaborate with you two….. and hope that you all liked it!!.... we had
so much fun writing it!

Have a wonderful Christmas !!!!!! [Only admins are allowed to see this image]

--Last edited by Turi ray of sunshine on 2007-12-23 19:45:44 --

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